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(CTV News)   Wild parsnip turns out to be a little too wild for area man   (ctvnews.ca) divider line
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4027 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jul 2021 at 7:42 PM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-07-29 5:13:22 PM  
22 votes:
For those who don't want to watch a video:

The sap from wild parsnip makes skin extremely sensitive to sunlight. This poor guy was out playing paintball and unknowingly got a bunch on himself. Subsequently he's got some serious burns and will be dealing with the injuries for several years.  So watch out for the plant, ya'll.
 
2021-07-29 7:46:53 PM  
18 votes:
I have a rash on my arm today from pulling up hogweed.

Invasive species are farking us up, yo.
 
2021-07-29 7:54:18 PM  
14 votes:
Wild Parsnip does suck. But it has absolutely NOTHING on Giant Hogs Weed for Photosensitive Burns of pure insanity.
Google what happens, or don't if you have a weak stomach.
 
2021-07-29 8:06:07 PM  
11 votes:
I work in landscape construction along the shoreline of Lake Huron. I've had poison ivy, poison oak, and wild parsnip rashes. The wild parsnip is by far the worst. The blisters are friggin' bad,and they leave some decent scars. There's also giant hogweed here,but that's something that is dealt with by specialists in hazmat gear.
 
2021-07-29 7:50:22 PM  
10 votes:
From what I've heard, don't trust anything in the wild that looks like parsnip/carrot.  It might be edible, or it might kill you dead.
 
2021-07-29 7:49:58 PM  
10 votes:
DWTFV, but I've seen signs in forest preserves warning about this stuff (and giant hogweed, which is basically wild parsnip on steroids). Nasty indeed, in a "nuke it from orbit" way.
 
2021-07-29 7:57:15 PM  
8 votes:
You can eat the root, it's a parsnip. You can pick it at night and get all the juice on you and nothing happens unless you don't wash it off before letting any UV light shine on it.
 
2021-07-29 8:56:47 PM  
7 votes:

TotallyRealNotFake: Wild Parsnip does suck. But it has absolutely NOTHING on Giant Hogs Weed for Photosensitive Burns of pure insanity.
Google what happens, or don't if you have a weak stomach.


Whyyyyyy do I keep finding this to be the case? Official government organizations whose mission it is to tell you about invasive/dangerous/or even protected plants do this:

Fark user imageView Full Size


That is LITERALLY the full-size version of this photo, meant to help you identify the plant. No, it's not clickable.
I'm sure these departments are miserably funded, but... wtaf.
 
2021-07-29 7:59:38 PM  
6 votes:
TotallyRealNotFake: Wild Parsnip does suck. But it has absolutely NOTHING on Giant Hogs Weed for Photosensitive Burns of pure insanity.
Google what happens, or don't if you have a weak stomach.


The Return of the Giant Hogweed
Song by Genesis
Overview
Lyrics
Listen
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Main Results
Lyrics
Turn and run!
Nothing can stop them
Around every river and canal their power is growing
Stamp them out!
We must destroy them
They infiltrate each city with their thick dark warning odour
They are invincible
They seem immune to all our herbicidal battering
Long ago in the Russian hills
A Victorian explorer found
The regal Hogweed by a marsh
He captured it and brought it home
Botanical creature stirs! Seeking revenge...
Royal beast did not forget
He came home to London
And made a present of the Hogweed
To the Royal Gardens at Kew
Waste no time!
They are approaching
Hurry now, we must protect ourselves and find some shelter
Strike by night!
They are defenceless
They all need the sun to photosensitize their venom
Still they're invincible
Still they're immune to all our herbicidal battering
Fashionable country gentlemen
Had some cultivated wild gardens
In which they innocently planted
The Giant Hogweed throughout the land
Botanical creature stirs! Seeking revenge...
Royal beast did not forget
Soon they escaped, spreading their seed
Preparing for an onslaught
Threatening the human race
Mighty Hogweed is avenged!
Human bodies soon will know our anger
Kill them with your Hogweed hairs!
Heracleum Mantegazziani
 
2021-07-29 8:41:17 PM  
5 votes:

LiberalConservative: TotallyRealNotFake: Wild Parsnip does suck. But it has absolutely NOTHING on Giant Hogs Weed for Photosensitive Burns of pure insanity.
Google what happens, or don't if you have a weak stomach.

Very true, scary plant. Same plant family. Though so are edible parsnip and carrot, but those are mostly less murderous.


Queen Anne's Lace is related to them,as well.
 
2021-07-29 8:20:54 PM  
5 votes:

berylman: Damn, that guy got really emotional discussing how badly he fared.
This effect is called photo sensitization. It's kind of like reverse sunscreen.


Am surprised hasn't been turned into a weapon. Humans suck.
 
2021-07-29 7:53:35 PM  
5 votes:
The burns come from sunlight hitting skin that has rubbed against sap from the plant. Was this dude sunbathing after his paintball match? And who plays paintball in shorts?
 
2021-07-29 9:47:52 PM  
4 votes:

Cafe Threads: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: For those who don't want to watch a video:

The sap from wild parsnip makes skin extremely sensitive to sunlight. This poor guy was out playing paintball and unknowingly got a bunch on himself. Subsequently he's got some serious burns and will be dealing with the injuries for several years.  So watch out for the plant, ya'll.

Is this the same guy we had a month or so ago on here?


Oh hell, native cow parsnip, at least on CA north coast does irritate your skin a little. Kind of like "stinging nettles". HOWEVER, there are invasive parsnip species here and elsewhere, that if you get it on your skin just by say, hiking or biking will make you feel the pain in minutes if you break a stalk and the "milk" gets on you,
 
2021-07-29 9:42:03 PM  
4 votes:
I wrote an educational pamphlet about parsnip. It was not only educational, it was funny as hell. People remember funny.

In the end, kill it with roundup. Then kill it again. Then keep killing it until the seed bank is exhausted. It can take years. You can eat it in the rosette stage. It's not bad.
 
2021-07-29 8:01:09 PM  
4 votes:
There are a bunch of plants that do that, and they don't have to be poisonous to do it.
 
2021-07-29 7:58:30 PM  
4 votes:

Fubegra: DWTFV, but I've seen signs in forest preserves warning about this stuff (and giant hogweed, which is basically wild parsnip on steroids). Nasty indeed, in a "nuke it from orbit" way.


Fun Fact: Goats can eat hogweed/poison ivy/poison oak etc. without any ill affects.  Eating the band Poison has not been tested however.
 
2021-07-29 10:47:43 PM  
3 votes:

JaytheFarkingCanadian: There's also giant hogweed here,but that's something that is dealt with by specialists in hazmat gear.


The Hogweed stuff I pulled up today was not giant.  Yet.

The moment I realized what was happening I ran for the hose, soaked my arm and hands, then ran inside for the dish soap and covered my arm and hand with oozing Palmolive ectoplasm. I'm just glad I only used one hand for pulling the weeds up. Now I just have a mild itchy redness. Even after all that.
 
2021-07-29 9:04:26 PM  
3 votes:

JaytheFarkingCanadian: LiberalConservative: TotallyRealNotFake: Wild Parsnip does suck. But it has absolutely NOTHING on Giant Hogs Weed for Photosensitive Burns of pure insanity.
Google what happens, or don't if you have a weak stomach.

Very true, scary plant. Same plant family. Though so are edible parsnip and carrot, but those are mostly less murderous.

Queen Anne's Lace is related to them,as well.


And that's everywhere.
 
2021-07-29 8:18:40 PM  
3 votes:
Damn, that guy got really emotional discussing how badly he fared.
This effect is called photo sensitization. It's kind of like reverse sunscreen.
 
2021-07-29 7:46:25 PM  
3 votes:
Jeez. That's a pretty common plant out in the woods here.   I just figured you should never try EATING it.
 
2021-07-29 7:46:06 PM  
3 votes:
But when the oil hits the......wait he didn't eat it?  The isn't Fark worthy at all.
 
2021-07-29 7:45:20 PM  
3 votes:
Parsnips-A-Plenty
Youtube lqallz5Ypog
 
2021-07-30 9:16:25 AM  
2 votes:

uncoveror: TotallyRealNotFake: Wild Parsnip does suck. But it has absolutely NOTHING on Giant Hogs Weed for Photosensitive Burns of pure insanity.
Turn and run!
Nothing can stop them



pithandvigor.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-30 6:45:21 AM  
2 votes:

Bennie Crabtree: JaytheFarkingCanadian: There's also giant hogweed here,but that's something that is dealt with by specialists in hazmat gear.

The Hogweed stuff I pulled up today was not giant.  Yet.

The moment I realized what was happening I ran for the hose, soaked my arm and hands, then ran inside for the dish soap and covered my arm and hand with oozing Palmolive ectoplasm. I'm just glad I only used one hand for pulling the weeds up. Now I just have a mild itchy redness. Even after all that.


Dawn dish soap is,by far,the best I've found for cleaning the sap off your skin,but (particularly with wild parsnip) you have to do it before the sun hits your skin.
 
2021-07-29 9:51:57 PM  
2 votes:

Fubegra: DWTFV, but I've seen signs in forest preserves warning about this stuff (and giant hogweed, which is basically wild parsnip on steroids). Nasty indeed, in a "nuke it from orbit" way.


See what I just posted. I don't have time to post proper links for it, but yeah, that "milk burn" is no joke. That shiat stings.
 
2021-07-29 9:01:13 PM  
2 votes:

whidbey: Jeez. That's a pretty common plant out in the woods here.   I just figured you should never try EATING it.


That's from touching it.
 
2021-07-30 12:01:26 AM  
1 vote:

stuffy: So don't put it on my burgers?


No, go ahead. Tell us what it's like.
 
2021-07-29 8:22:19 PM  
1 vote:
It's good thing his daughter is there to look after him.
 
2021-07-29 8:17:46 PM  
1 vote:

Huntceet: You can eat the root, it's a parsnip. You can pick it at night and get all the juice on you and nothing happens unless you don't wash it off before letting any UV light shine on it.


Woah, mind blown. Hadn't made the connection to the folk stories.
 
2021-07-29 8:02:40 PM  
1 vote:

Shaggy_C: And who plays paintball in shorts?


Noobs or wise old veterans  it can be hard to tell.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-29 8:02:11 PM  
1 vote:
Just best to stay away from wild plants.
 
2021-07-29 8:00:11 PM  
1 vote:
Our state DNR has had warnings about this stuff on all state trails and parks for the last 15 years or so. If you see it, report it. Do NOT try to remove it yourself.
 
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