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Fark NotNewsletter: Dad's out of town - let's party
Posted by DisseminationMonkey at 2021-07-28 11:55:39 AM (62 comments) | Permalink
More: FarkBlog

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685 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jul 2021 at 8:48 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Hello, Farkers. Drew is off riding his bike across Iowa this week, so there's no NotNewsletter message from him today. You can check out Drew's Instagram feed to watch his progress if you need your Drew fix. And just to remind you, there won't be a Fark News Livestream this week, but it's expected to return in August. 

That's your Drew update; now let's talk about me! A lot of people think I'm Drew, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. They think it's him writing the Fark NotNewsletter every week and maintaining Fark's Twitter and Facebook accounts, but it's actually just your friendly little DisseminationMonkey tossing out these banana peels. Sections written by Drew and others are labelled as such, saying things like "a message from Drew Curtis" or "brought to you by ox45tallboy." I bring this up not to claim credit, but so you know who to blame when you open the NotNewsletter and search for your name and it's not there. I'm the monkey you need to spank for being naughty, or reward with bananas for being nice. Sure, it's a stereotype that monkeys like bananas, but I actually do quite enjoy them.

On that note, if you ever want to get Drew's attention in a NotNewsletter discussion thread - or any other thread - try putting his name in your comment and bolding it. That might work, or he might be in the middle of doing Drew stuff and not be able to respond. You can also email him at Drew at Fark. Put Fark in the subject line too for good measure. And maybe some phallic emojis. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
MythDragon explained what the backstory was when a woman was caught on video arguing with an American Airlines manager
NewportBarGuy had a question about the theft of an $8,000 puppy
Ass_Master_Flash summed up a very strange article
TheSwizz worked out the Canadian to U.S. exchange rate
Martian_Astronomer beautifully expressed the trouble with sacred undergarments for Mormon women
The Pope of Manwich Village anticipated upcoming events with a couple whose gender reveal party started a deadly wildfire
Jingle Strangle wanted to see a better sports event jumbotron marriage proposal
MythDragon told us how to go to hell
scottydoesntknow let us know why it's a bad idea to write a bad review about a roofer
Resident Muslim considered the possibility of a cure for stupidity

Smart:
abbarach gave an example of why you should be polite to people who're just doing their jobs
Auntie Cheesus told a story about selling jokes to Jackie Mason
phalamir offered advice on proposing to someone, but I want to know more about the imaginary proposal at the end
weddingsinger had a great way of explaining why a one percent mortality rate is a big deal
Geotpf showed what the emergency authorization process for the COVID-19 vaccines actually means
Benevolent Misanthrope reminded us that public shaming isn't just for the internet
TheSwizz worked out the Canadian to U.S. exchange rate
Smoking GNU was all like, "We told you so"
luna1580 argued for ending the Olympics for good

Politics Funny:
Pocket Ninja had a suggestion for doctors caring for patients who ask to be vaccinated after it's too late
DoBeDoBeDo saw a sign that someone should've warned people that there would be a shooting
The Googles Do Nothing found humor in Trump supporters' failed attempt to hang a "Trump won" banner at a Tampa Bay Rays game
capt.snicklefritz reacted to Matt Gaetz taking offense at toddlers supposedly talking like British people after watching "Peppa Pig"
xanadian told us what Florida Republican Party chair Joe Gruters said about sexual harassment allegations against him

Politics Smart:
leeto2 talked about running out of patience for people with certain points of view
Pocket Ninja had a suggestion for doctors caring for patients who ask to be vaccinated after it's too late
FlashHarry compared problems the two major U.S. political parties are trying to address
Professor_Doctor considered the Janus-faced Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Dr. Nick Riviera noticed how the phrase "as a businessman" is often used


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week, listed from highest number of votes down

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector showed unexpected tragedy striking the Duluth Harbor North Pier Light
MillionDollarMo was pretty sure this is a photo from Tatooine
Wrongo showed that the Trump family is staying together
zeon rounded up some castaways
Yammering_Splat_Vector enjoyed a meal with Janis
Kick The Chair helped Trump with some rebranding
Wrongo created a new option for mental health care
Wrongo saw the coming apocalypse
Wrongo discovered that the dumbest conspiracy theory is actually true
RedZoneTuba did not trust this slatted fireplace

Fartist Friday: New services that nobody has ever asked for
Resident Muslim showed that smelly feet can create opportunity

This week's Fartist Friday theme, brought to you by E-brake: To celebrate National Refreshment Day, we'll create odes to our favorite refreshments. Write a poem dedicated to whatever wets your whistle and slates your thirst.

Farktography: Mementos and Memorabilia
beerrun showed off a scattered grin


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, and I did finally receive my drill bit - after I had already bought another and drilled the hole. On the Quiz itself, TheMothership came out on top with 981, followed by dionysusaur in second with 972 and Wizzywig in third with 908. Leper Canuck made fourth with 899. and whosits_112 made fifth with 872.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about which critters have been regularly invading soccer pitches in New Zealand lately. Only 23% of quiztakers knew that sea lions have decided they want to play and don't want to go through tryouts. Of the choices, sea lions for some reason don't like the North Atlantic ocean, while the others are found all over there. It's probably something to do with their excellent sense of smell and the location of New Jersey.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the Pickleburgh Pickle Festival and its move this year to the Andy Warhol bridge. 68% of quiztakers knew that both Andy Warhol and Roberto Clemente had bridges named after them in Pittsburgh, PA. Warhol was born there but became famous in New York City, while Roberto Clemente was born in Puerto Rico but became famous in Pittsburgh while playing for MLB's Pirates.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about Richard Donner's first major movie. Only 45% of quiztakers knew that he directed the original version of "The Omen" back in 1976, before hitting it big with such films as "Superman"., "The Goonies", and "Lethal Weapon". I always wonder what a director thinks of people wanting to remake their earlier films. Is it a compliment, or does some young upstart think he can do it better? 

The easiest question on the Easy Quiz was about the newest LEGO Ideas set. 92% of quiztakers knew that $79.99 will get you the set of Jerry's apartment from "Seinfeld". The set includes 5 minifigs, with the four main characters as well as Wayne Knight's Newman being represented. Which I assume will also be reused in the upcoming "Basic Instinct" interrogation scene set. 

If you missed out on last week's Quiz, you can catch up now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.
· · ·

62 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-07-28 12:13:26 PM  
No can upload the pic? WTFark
 
2021-07-28 12:13:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:13:47 PM  
So....

Time to inline nudes?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:15:31 PM  
For the record, I also like bananas,
 
2021-07-28 12:16:23 PM  

jim32rr: No can upload the pic? WTFark


Fark's having issues for some people at the moment. The images thing has been happening for some people since yesterday. It's not on Fark's end, it's DigitalOcean. See Fark's outage page for info.
 
2021-07-28 12:19:45 PM  
UNLEASH THE GORGOR
 
2021-07-28 12:19:58 PM  
hate to be morbid but last week it was put out in addition to the Farker who did pass on, there were two others but you guys were awaiting family permission to post who they were.  any update?

only because obv on the TF side the numbers are dwindling, and i know a few folks stated recently they were battling some demons, so i can't help but wonder....you know.
 
2021-07-28 12:21:12 PM  
I would just like to say, thanks to the anonymous person who sponsored a month of TotalFark for me this past month!  I really enjoyed it.

On a second note, can someone explain why there are certain links on TotalFark that get a lot of votes and comments for a non-greenlit link and yet get redlit?  I was just curious to know the thinking behind it.
 
2021-07-28 12:24:33 PM  

Chuck87: On a second note, can someone explain why there are certain links on TotalFark that get a lot of votes and comments for a non-greenlit link and yet get redlit? I was just curious to know the thinking behind it.


it's completely capricious and depends on which admin is on duty.  some like puns/wordplay, others just pick whatever link, i've even seen "that story seemed more like a [name of farker] type thing, so we waited for him to submit it, even though 5/10/20 other folks had submitted that story...."
 
2021-07-28 12:25:28 PM  

rickythepenguin: hate to be morbid but last week it was put out in addition to the Farker who did pass on, there were two others but you guys were awaiting family permission to post who they were.  any update?


Unfortunately, no. We have someone reaching out, but of course their families have other things to worry about than Fark.

Chuck87:

On a second note, can someone explain why there are certain links on TotalFark that get a lot of votes and comments for a non-greenlit link and yet get redlit?  I was just curious to know the thinking behind it.

I can't speak for the queue admins, but off the top of my head, it could be that there's already a greenlit link for a story, or they found or are waiting for a better headline, or they were submitted as TFD links, or other various things.
 
2021-07-28 12:26:35 PM  
Wait. ox45tallboy?

is that a Stoned Age reference? Or is OX45 a real product?
 
2021-07-28 12:27:10 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Unfortunately, no. We have someone reaching out, but of course their families have other things to worry about than Fark.


of course, i totally get it.  just kinda thinking, "i haven't seen so and so in a while and......"  i reached out a few times and got no response so yeah it's a bit pins-and-needles-y.

but thanks though.
 
2021-07-28 12:28:08 PM  
or any other thread - try putting his name in your comment and bolding it

Yay!
I made the NNL in backhanded way.  I'll take it.  Guess we'll wait til next week on that thing that was launching 2 weeks ago, then last week and...well probably not this week. Drew
 
2021-07-28 12:29:10 PM  

rickythepenguin: DisseminationMonkey: Unfortunately, no. We have someone reaching out, but of course their families have other things to worry about than Fark.

of course, i totally get it.  just kinda thinking, "i haven't seen so and so in a while and......"  i reached out a few times and got no response so yeah it's a bit pins-and-needles-y.

but thanks though.


I understand, I'd feel the same way. In fact, I have felt the same way when Farkers have suddenly gone silent before. I'm glad though that Farkers care so much about each other.
 
2021-07-28 12:31:11 PM  
I have no one to blame but myself for my lack of NNL recognition...but that won't stop me from spanking the monkey.  Nothing stops that.
 
2021-07-28 12:33:44 PM  
Oh my God I made the list.

This must be one of those "signs of the apocalypse" our preacher has been warning us about.
 
2021-07-28 12:34:22 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:36:21 PM  

waxbeans: Wait. ox45tallboy?

is that a Stoned Age reference? Or is OX45 a real product?


Check my profile. It is indeed a "The Stoned Age" reference.

And it's also a real product:

https://untappd.com/b/pabst-brewing-c​o​mpany-ox-45-tall/3086091

/shut up Tack, you cack!
 
2021-07-28 12:37:04 PM  

Non Sequitur Man: [Fark user image 398x225] [View Full Size image _x_]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:41:12 PM  

ox45tallboy: waxbeans: Wait. ox45tallboy?

is that a Stoned Age reference? Or is OX45 a real product?

Check my profile. It is indeed a "The Stoned Age" reference.

And it's also a real product:

https://untappd.com/b/pabst-brewing-co​mpany-ox-45-tall/3086091

/shut up Tack, you cack!


😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

./
Love that movie. It's one of the few movies I own on Google.
//
Super Bad ripped it off and removed the best stuff.
///
I loved Clifton Collins in 187.
☺😁🤸🤸🤸
 
2021-07-28 12:42:48 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:44:28 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: I understand, I'd feel the same way. In fact, I have felt the same way when Farkers have suddenly gone silent before. I'm glad though that Farkers care so much about each other.


ihad to find out the hard way about solid_state_vittles, i think a year ago.  somehow his name came up and people were like, "RIP".  i must have been on one of my hiatuses when his senseless passing occurred - i had no idea whatsoever.  we'd met a time or two and semi-regularly corresponded.  i was very, very saddened when I heard that.

a friend of his, whose name I sadly forget, posted a bunch of pics of him and gave updates as to his case but after a quick search, i can't find anything.  basic facts were some methed out dude in Portland randomly invaded a house that happened to be SSV's, he tried to fight the guy off but was fatally stabbed.  i kinda remember, as i siad, a few court updates but nothing specific.

so yeah.  whenever someone passes, or you haven't heard from someone you interact with, even if only via a computer screen, it sucks. i have two specific people in mind that I haven't seen in some time, and both had health issues and as i said, haven't responded to a few "how you doing?" emails.
 
2021-07-28 12:45:37 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: Non Sequitur Man: [Fark user image 398x225] [View Full Size image _x_]

[Fark user image 408x216] [View Full Size image _x_]


Hahaha!! Cheeky monkeh!
 
2021-07-28 12:45:49 PM  
I demand my name be in the newsletter. Even if you have to list every single farker in the database.
 
2021-07-28 12:46:51 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:47:41 PM  
Finally made it for a non TFd comment

I RETIRE!
 
2021-07-28 12:47:42 PM  
Live footage of Drew on his bike trip...

i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:47:53 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:49:28 PM  
On behalf of all TFD
Spankings.gif
 
2021-07-28 12:51:32 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 12:53:12 PM  

rickythepenguin: hate to be morbid but last week it was put out in addition to the Farker who did pass on, there were two others but you guys were awaiting family permission to post who they were.  any update?

only because obv on the TF side the numbers are dwindling, and i know a few folks stated recently they were battling some demons, so i can't help but wonder....you know.


Yeah not to be morbid but i came in to see if there was any update on that as well.
 
2021-07-28 1:02:52 PM  

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: UNLEASH THE GORGOR


th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 1:34:53 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 1:37:17 PM  
Shameless banana bribery...

im6.ezgif.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 1:38:57 PM  

cretinbob: [i.pinimg.com image 320x339]


reactiongifs.usView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 1:46:50 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 1:51:48 PM  

rickythepenguin: Chuck87: On a second note, can someone explain why there are certain links on TotalFark that get a lot of votes and comments for a non-greenlit link and yet get redlit? I was just curious to know the thinking behind it.

it's completely capricious and depends on which admin is on duty.  some like puns/wordplay, others just pick whatever link, i've even seen "that story seemed more like a [name of farker] type thing, so we waited for him to submit it, even though 5/10/20 other folks had submitted that story...."


Admins really don't play favorites with submitters. Admins don't "wait for" a submitter they know is likely to submit something in the style they want - that just doesn't happen. They'll wait for a headline they like for a big story if no one has yet submitted a good one, but it doesn't matter who submitted it, just that it's a good headline. High vote and comment counts will definitely get an admin's attention, but the admin's pick for the best headline will always win out. We do have the Repeat tag for especially good headlines that were submitted after the initial greenlight of a story.

Since Drew's not around, I'll refer you to this post from him a while back:

https://www.fark.com/comments/1041254​4​/121256667#c121256667

Since it's TotalFark only, here are a couple of highlights:

...One of the difficulties we have on the admin side is that once an article appears in the general news cycle we've only got an hour or two before it's everywhere on social media.  Sometimes we can't wait for the best tagline to be submitted - which incidentally seems to -always- happen right when I've given up waiting.

...let's start with some background on how things work on the Admin side.

There are several admins, but at any given moment, only one of us is designated as the person who's on queue duty.  From about 7amish til about 5amish on weekdays, that person is me.  Over the past 20 years or so it's usually always been me.  Occasionally I've stepped away for a week or two, but I've discovered that when I step away I suddenly have no idea what's going on in the world.  Running the Fark queue is the only time I ever consume news, and when I do run the queue I end up reading everything published in a given day.  To the point where my friends at my local bar have totally given up asking me if I saw the one about etc because I can usually finish their sentences.  Usually.

...Newsflashes are handled by me if I'm awake.  I can run the entire article queue off my phone wherever I happen to be, so if news breaks late at night and I'm still sober enough to read, one of the mods will text me when we have a newsflash event.  If I'm at a bar I quickly take bets from my friends to see if anyone can guess what it's about, then I open up the queue and look for the best tagline.  Newsflashes need to get out quickly so I can only wait about 10-15 minutes before posting -something-, and some breaking news events are just not funny so when that happens I'll just go with whichever tagline on TotalFark has the most comments currently.  I strongly prefer a good riff for a tagline, although with newsflashes this can spiral out of control as events continue.  For example, when the Notre Dame caught fire I went with "France elects new Pope" which was pretty funny intially, until it became apparent that the situation was much more serious than we first thought.  So it goes.  It's not the first tagline that got messed up by the severity of events and it won't be the last either I bet.
 
2021-07-28 2:03:39 PM  

ox45tallboy: Admins really don't play favorites with submitters. Admins don't "wait for" a submitter they know is likely to submit something in the style they want - that just doesn't happen.


There is bias in every system.
 
2021-07-28 2:11:52 PM  

ox45tallboy: Admins don't "wait for" a submitter they know is likely to submit something in the style they want - that just doesn't happen.


you're the anointed one, not me but i have seen admins say that.  admittedly a while ago when "ask a mod", "ask an admin" threads used to be a thing.  "we were waiting for ___ to submit it, it seemed like his kind of story."  *shrug*

but yeah, to the first guy's question, it is kinda weird to a thread in the queue with 5, 7, 12 comments, maybe 4-5 upvotes, then it gets redlit and the same story 2 hours later goes green.  sometimes with no comments or votes. it is curious - there's already a dialogue happening, and then bam, it disappears so to speak (rarely do folks stick around in redlit threads).
 
2021-07-28 2:16:46 PM  

TrashcanMan: ox45tallboy: Admins really don't play favorites with submitters. Admins don't "wait for" a submitter they know is likely to submit something in the style they want - that just doesn't happen.

There is bias in every system.


Indeed. Fark admins are particularly biased in favor of good headlines.
 
2021-07-28 2:23:52 PM  

rickythepenguin: but yeah, to the first guy's question, it is kinda weird to a thread in the queue with 5, 7, 12 comments, maybe 4-5 upvotes, then it gets redlit and the same story 2 hours later goes green.  sometimes with no comments or votes. it is curious - there's already a dialogue happening, and then bam, it disappears so to speak (rarely do folks stick around in redlit threads).


Once again, it goes to the best headline. If the admin running the queue didn't like the headline or story, they might wait for a better headline or an article that shows the story in a different light or gives more information relevant to the discussion.

You'll see this more often when the initial story turns out to be something very different from what actually happened - like last week when the few seconds of cell phone video showing a cop "planting evidence" in a car turned out to be the cop returning the baggie to where he found it after determining that it wasn't evidence, and none of the people in the car being charged with any crime related to drug possession. Fark tries to wait on things like this that appear to have incomplete information rather than contributing to a false narrative.
 
2021-07-28 2:26:35 PM  
Wonder what Iowa is like....
 
2021-07-28 2:33:29 PM  

kdawg7736: Wonder what Iowa is like....


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-28 2:33:55 PM  

ox45tallboy: TrashcanMan: ox45tallboy: Admins really don't play favorites with submitters. Admins don't "wait for" a submitter they know is likely to submit something in the style they want - that just doesn't happen.

There is bias in every system.

Indeed. Fark admins are particularly biased in favor of good headlines.


shrug.  your playground, your rules, but at least be honest about biases.
 
2021-07-28 2:34:34 PM  

kdawg7736: Wonder what Iowa is like....


Dated a gal from Minnesota who said it stood for Idiot Out Wandering Around.
 
2021-07-28 3:00:05 PM  

TrashcanMan: kdawg7736: Wonder what Iowa is like....

Dated a gal from Minnesota who said it stood for Idiot Out Wandering Around.


The only state Minnesota can throw shade at
 
2021-07-28 3:16:42 PM  
if you need your Drew fix

My Drew is not broken.

At the moment.
 
2021-07-28 3:59:11 PM  

guestguy: cretinbob: [i.pinimg.com image 320x339]

[reactiongifs.us image 350x260] [View Full Size image _x_]


That's why I do it.
Yes, I want to give you a laugh, but more importantly, I want you to make me laugh.
 
2021-07-28 4:03:08 PM  

DisseminationMonkey: jim32rr: No can upload the pic? WTFark

Fark's having issues for some people at the moment. The images thing has been happening for some people since yesterday. It's not on Fark's end, it's DigitalOcean. See Fark's outage page for info.


Read that as Fark's outrage page

Kinda fits.
 
2021-07-28 4:08:31 PM  

bughunter: if you need your Drew fix

My Drew is not broken.

At the moment.


please fix Drew. OKthxby
 
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