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(Jalopnik)   Article asks what's the dumbest car you've seen someone buy for their kid? Subby's answer is from when he graduated HS. Man gave his kid who did not know how to drive a stick a brand new Lotus Esprit. Then had her drive it from graduation   (jalopnik.com) divider line
    More: Misc, Pickup truck, Truck, Automobile, first car, 5-year-old, Sport utility vehicle, right answer, school-mates drive  
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406 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 26 Jul 2021 at 5:50 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-07-26 4:19:53 PM  
My family, in a momentary lapse of reason, got me a V8 powered Camaro for my first car in high school.

Even at my current age I can not explain why I am still alive.
 
2021-07-26 4:24:35 PM  
My oldest sibling was gifted a Pinto. One of thooooseee ones.

Yeah, worked fine. No issues/accidents.

I loved the back glass. That bubble dome hatch was actually not to bad from the inside.
 
2021-07-26 4:44:18 PM  
A kid at my HS drove his dad's viper to school. After an accident he was demoted to a... Datsun. And no, I do not have any contemporaneous memory of Datsun being the name of Nissan. It was the only Datsun in the lot, and he was the only person i have ever known that had one. Why he was ever allowed to drive the Viper? How he ended up with a Datsun? idk
At my school it was common for kids to wreck bmws, infiniti SUVs, and other brand new cars. Some got brand new lux cars, others ended up in minivans or civics. I had a beat up chevy that was older than me.
 
2021-07-26 4:52:21 PM  

arrogantbastich: My oldest sibling was gifted a Pinto. One of thooooseee ones.

Yeah, worked fine. No issues/accidents.

I loved the back glass. That bubble dome hatch was actually not to bad from the inside.


The Pinto was fine, just don't get hot from the back, and you won't burn to death.
 
2021-07-26 4:54:13 PM  

Lambskincoat: arrogantbastich: My oldest sibling was gifted a Pinto. One of thooooseee ones.

Yeah, worked fine. No issues/accidents.

I loved the back glass. That bubble dome hatch was actually not to bad from the inside.

The Pinto was fine, just don't get hot from the back, and you won't burn to death.


That came out like a weird Studio 54 reference.
 
2021-07-26 5:40:33 PM  
In my high school we had a rich asshole named Eddie. His older brother ended up dead after drunk-driving his shiny new Camaro into a tree at high speed one night. Everyone in school knew about this because Eddie's parents were rich and important enough locally that this act of teenage stupidity merited a full-page story in the local paper. That, and he used that story on pretty much every girl in school as a sympathy play to try and get a date.

Apparently, word of Eddie's "woe is me, go in a date with me" sob story made it's way through the local grape vine back to his parents, who decided that their surviving son was suffering so much that they needed to do something nice for him to cheer him up. So they bought him a shiny red Camaro exactly like the one his brother had ended up dead in a ditch in.

And after he crashed it, they bought him a second one.
 
2021-07-26 5:56:27 PM  
I forgot who, but she was in college with me.  Had a Camaro with airbrushed paint highlights.

Her high school boyfriend never went to college or got a job.  Just hung out in town and knocked her up before the end of freshman year.

The car had one of those "touch of class" license plate holders.
 
2021-07-26 5:57:08 PM  
my cousin got 3 corvettes between age 18 and 24. same fate for all three of them
 
2021-07-26 6:00:01 PM  
It ain't the car that's dumb.
 
2021-07-26 6:07:34 PM  
A girl back in high school got a brand new Formula 400 Firebird on her 16th birthday. Smacked a tree 24 hours later. It was replaced with a Z28. It lasted three days.
 
2021-07-26 6:10:28 PM  
Neighbor girl got a PT Cruiser. Not sure why she was being punished.
 
2021-07-26 6:34:10 PM  

bloobeary: In my high school we had a rich asshole named Eddie. His older brother ended up dead after drunk-driving his shiny new Camaro into a tree at high speed one night. Everyone in school knew about this because Eddie's parents were rich and important enough locally that this act of teenage stupidity merited a full-page story in the local paper. That, and he used that story on pretty much every girl in school as a sympathy play to try and get a date.

Apparently, word of Eddie's "woe is me, go in a date with me" sob story made it's way through the local grape vine back to his parents, who decided that their surviving son was suffering so much that they needed to do something nice for him to cheer him up. So they bought him a shiny red Camaro exactly like the one his brother had ended up dead in a ditch in.

And after he crashed it, they bought him a second one.


"Tell me you're trying to murder your kids without saying anything that could be used as evidence in court"
 
2021-07-26 6:35:36 PM  
I knew a guy in high school whose parents got him a relatively recently repainted and mechanically restored '65 GTO with a 389 Tri-carb. Original interior but this was in the 80's so still in decent shape. He decided it was a good idea to hold it at the redline with a cold engine after sitting outside on a subzero day. Bits of metal flew out from the top AND the bottom. Waste of a beautiful motor.
 
2021-07-26 6:52:32 PM  
After my sister managed to dent every body panel on the 1975 Dodge Swinger that she was given by our dad, her mom decided to upgrade her to a lemon yellow 1978 Camaro RS with a 305 V-8.  Damn car spent more time in the body & paint shop than it did on the road.
 
2021-07-26 6:57:37 PM  
Cousin from a family I married into was given a Mustang GT by his father on his 16th birthday to piss off his mother. It had a tracker on it that he didn't know about.

Two years ago, he got busted because it was parked at his teacher's house. The cops set her up for the arrest using his cellphone.

Yes, it made Fark and I missed the thread.

He's been an entitled douchebag as long as I've known him.
 
2021-07-26 6:59:07 PM  
It is mighty confusing to me how things like this happen.

My older child got my hand me down Ford Taurus and my younger child got my wife's hand me down crossover. Neither one has been totaled, at least not yet.
 
2021-07-26 7:04:56 PM  
Subaru WRX Sti
 
2021-07-26 7:31:35 PM  
A buddy's parents bought him one of these when we were still in high school.


Fark user imageView Full Size



/God could not create a better birth control device.
 
2021-07-26 7:39:56 PM  
lh5.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-26 7:40:38 PM  
A friend of mine was given a Buick Wildcat.  He only survived because he could never afford to put gas into the thing.  It got about 9 MPG.
 
2021-07-26 7:45:46 PM  
microcosmpublishing.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-26 7:52:23 PM  
I went to HS with a kid that had an Escalade and a BMW M roadster. For himself. A kid that had a 911. Another drove a vintage Saab. Yet another had a Datsun 280z. Yes, I went to a private school with kids and families with more money than sense.

/My parents let me drive their 325i during senior year to be cool
//it was cool
///they shouldn't have let me - I did some stupid fast driving in that thing.

My wife drove a Dodge Dakota in high school. It was her grandfathers. If only I knew her then, girls in trucks are kinda hot.
 
2021-07-26 7:55:17 PM  
Oh wow, talk about stupid...

A Lotus?
 
2021-07-26 7:56:19 PM  
One rich kid got a Merkur XR4TI for Christmas.  I never understood if it was a reward or a punishment.
 
2021-07-26 7:58:08 PM  
Top Gear Patagonia Special - Best Moments..
Youtube GfL1Ir2IFsk
 
2021-07-26 8:00:51 PM  

puffy999: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/GfL1Ir2I​Fsk?start=60]


Also the part at 3:24
 
2021-07-26 8:01:52 PM  
Not stupid, but my great-grandmother gave me her old 77 Caddy Eldorado w/the 501. You could fit 10 people into that thing & it was still a smooth ride with torque for days. After the trans went out on it, I got a job & bought an 82 Camaro that "had an oil leak" that turned out to be an over-tightened oil filter.
 
2021-07-26 8:02:31 PM  
Girl I knew in high school was being raised by her grandmother after her parents died in an accident that resulted in a large settlement. Grandma spoiled her. First car was a new Camero. Girl drove it around until the engine blew.  Turns out she had never had a single oil change or even checked the oil. Next car was a Dodge Stealth R/T. She drove that around untill the engine blew.  She never changed the oil on that one either.  Last car she got was a VW Scirocco. Ended up borrowing it several times just to take it to Grease Monkey before it blew up as well.  As far as I know, she's still out there, buying a new car every 18 months.
 
2021-07-26 8:27:18 PM  
My parents handed me down a 77 Dodge van when I was 16.  The bad part from a parental perspective was that I had sex with my girlfriend in it.  A lot.
 
2021-07-26 8:42:53 PM  
In 1983, there was a kid at out HS who got a 1965 Mustang as a birthday present from his parents. It was a beautiful car fully restored. One day it was really foggy and his mother called the school to make sure he remembered to turn off the headlights. Word spread and he was a momma's boy so we never let him live it down.

Two years later we had graduated and some of us were off at college. During Christmas break we all came home. He and his girlfriend went to one of the make out places one evening. It was cold. Next morning they found him and his girlfriend dead from carbon monoxide poisoning. There was a hole in the trunk next to the muffler.

CSB
 
2021-07-26 8:45:39 PM  
It's been over 30 years, I was at a body shop in a small town on business. Sitting off to the side was a brand new (4,000 miles on the odometer) Buick Regal Grand National. It had a fist sized dent in the rocker panel under the driver's door, and almost no tread on the rear tires. I asked the body shop guy about it. "Bank owner's kid. First car." I just shook my head. I was going to be back through there in about two months. "I bet it will be totaled next time I see you."

Two months later, the hulk of the car was at his shop. It had rolled over multiple times. "Did the kid survive?" I asked. "Yeah." I opened my mouth.  He stopped me: "Toyota 4 x 4 pickup truck "
 
2021-07-26 8:47:30 PM  
There are a lot of stupid cars to buy a kid.  Dangerous because they're too fast or too big, or wasteful because they're too nice for a 16 year old to smash up figuring it out.

They don't make what I think would the best one anymore - a compact pickup, 2WD, regular cab, 4 cyl engine, manual transmission. No room for 5 of their idiot friends to pile in (if you ever have someone riding in the bed of this truck I will sell it for a hundred bucks, right after I'm done murdering you), not a whole lot of power, the RWD will help them learn to be a better driver once they're in more forgiving cars, and the stick will keep them more engaged with driving.
 
2021-07-26 8:47:42 PM  

moos: my cousin got 3 corvettes between age 18 and 24. same fate for all three of them


Each got traded in on a newer model?
 
2021-07-26 8:59:54 PM  

tmyk: moos: my cousin got 3 corvettes between age 18 and 24. same fate for all three of them

Each got traded in on a newer model?


That'd be his stepfather.
 
2021-07-26 9:01:30 PM  

tmyk: moos: my cousin got 3 corvettes between age 18 and 24. same fate for all three of them

Each got traded in on a newer model?



That's how Subby ended up married to his wife, Morgan Fairchild, who he's seen *naked.*
 
2021-07-26 9:44:30 PM  

lizyrd: They don't make what I think would the best one anymore - a compact pickup, 2WD, regular cab, 4 cyl engine, manual transmission


Basically my kind of pickemup truck.
 
2021-07-26 9:47:44 PM  

tmyk: moos: my cousin got 3 corvettes between age 18 and 24. same fate for all three of them

Each got traded in on a newer model?


If only. No, they were all totaled.
 
2021-07-26 9:50:34 PM  
My brother has probably wrecked the 2021 equivalent of a quarter million dollars in Novas and Chevelles (at least if they'd been repainted and had the interior).

The thing was, he's the one who fixed up and rebuilt them all. No parents involved. This was mid 80s to mid 90s.

But he is kinda pissed off that those cars are worth so much now. He might have done things differently.
 
2021-07-26 9:52:46 PM  
The one he liked most was the one with his weirdest wreck. They rolled a few times in a farm field (hit a ditch) and actually landed upright.. the cassette tape he was listening to flew out of the tape deck mid-roll and landed on the roof of the car once it stopped.
 
2021-07-26 10:10:14 PM  

puffy999: lizyrd: They don't make what I think would the best one anymore - a compact pickup, 2WD, regular cab, 4 cyl engine, manual transmission

Basically my kind of pickemup truck.


Yep. 01 Taco is still my ride.
 
2021-07-26 10:11:15 PM  
A lot of you are talking about the perils of a teen in a fast car, but consider the dangers of handing your kid the old family hauler. Do you really want your hormonal teen to have a vehicle you can have sex in without bending over the center console and getting a cupholder up the ass?
 
2021-07-26 10:27:49 PM  
Had three different friends in high school wreck their cars while Van Halen's Eruption was playing on their cassette decks. Best guess is that they took their hands off the wheel to play air guitar. The only one of the cats that was far more than what a high school kid needed was a beautiful 1970 Buick Skylark which rolled a few times and my friend had to go to the hospital with the top part of his ear nearly severed.

His parents bought him an even nicer 1972 Skylark after that.
 
2021-07-26 10:29:23 PM  
I know a guy who wanted a Mustang for years, then totaled it within 24 hours of finally getting it.  But he paid for it himself.
 
2021-07-26 10:30:26 PM  

psychosis_inducing: A lot of you are talking about the perils of a teen in a fast car, but consider the dangers of handing your kid the old family hauler. Do you really want your hormonal teen to have a vehicle you can have sex in without bending over the center console and getting a cupholder up the ass?


Ah, the good old 1989 Ford Aerostar.
 
2021-07-26 10:41:21 PM  

psychosis_inducing: A lot of you are talking about the perils of a teen in a fast car, but consider the dangers of handing your kid the old family hauler. Do you really want your hormonal teen to have a vehicle you can have sex in without bending over the center console and getting a cupholder up the ass?


As someone that had a 1978 Chevy 3/4 ton pickup with a camper shell, carpeted custom built interior and a custom made 8" thick foam mattress in the bed... I'm getting a kick out of your reply.
 
2021-07-26 11:14:37 PM  

puffy999: Oh wow, talk about stupid...

A Lotus?


Lots
Of
Trouble
Usually
Serious
 
2021-07-26 11:22:02 PM  
A little off the topic, but my brother killed all my father's old company cars that he handed down to us, including two that my father handed down to me.  They were various editions of 318 Dodge Diplomats.  The first one, he got spun out by an old guy in Vermont, scattering weed and magic mushrooms from the trunk.  The second was mine that he borrowed while I was out of town.  That one got stolen and destroyed.  I got tickets that he didn't pay on it for years later.
He wrecked the next one he got from dad.
The final car they pried from dad's cold, living fingers because he had dementia and couldn't pass the driving test.  He begged me not to lend the car to my brother, since I was next in the line of succession to get a Diplomat.  "Your brother wrecks cars," he said.
I lent it to my nephew but said "My dad said not to lend it to your dad."
Sure enough, a week later I got the call from my nephew.  "My dad borrowed the Diplomat and rear ended somebody right after he pulled out of the driveway.  Car: totaled.  I never could bring myself to tell the old man about it.
 
2021-07-26 11:28:33 PM  
My first car was a mostly 73 roadrunner. In 1992.

Made of bondo and rust. Colour was "bondo, shiat Brown, and Dysentery". May have been a V8 when it left the factory, but it was probably a "v2" by the time I got it.

It was lighter than when it was first registered, but only because it was missing so many parts. The hole in the passenger side footwell was a bit concerning at first.

Dad bought it for me for $500. It was "mine" at his pleasure, so he could revoke it if I did anything he didn't like. He taught me how to fix it up and maintain it. He paid for the parts and I was the labour. It was never restored but it was mechanically sound for most of the time I had it.

Big big back seat and scary power once I got it running right. I miss that car.
 
2021-07-27 12:22:17 AM  
My parents got me a 1966 Corvair toward the end of my senior year (1973) in spite of Ralph Nader's warnings.
 
2021-07-27 3:15:48 AM  

montreal_medic: My first car was a mostly 73 roadrunner. In 1992.

Made of bondo and rust. Colour was "bondo, shiat Brown, and Dysentery". May have been a V8 when it left the factory, but it was probably a "v2" by the time I got it.

It was lighter than when it was first registered, but only because it was missing so many parts. The hole in the passenger side footwell was a bit concerning at first.

Dad bought it for me for $500. It was "mine" at his pleasure, so he could revoke it if I did anything he didn't like. He taught me how to fix it up and maintain it. He paid for the parts and I was the labour. It was never restored but it was mechanically sound for most of the time I had it.

Big big back seat and scary power once I got it running right. I miss that car.


Aw man if I ever had the right Roadrunner I always dreamed of adding the worst looking wooden "spoiler" and renaming it the SuperTurd.
 
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