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(YouTube)   If subby ever won Powerball, this would be his first purchase, regardless of how large the win actually was. What's your pipe dream lottery item that wouldn't break the bank, so to speak?   (youtube.com) divider line
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548 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 22 Jul 2021 at 5:20 PM (4 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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4 days ago  
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4 days ago  
Maybe a little house in nice surroundings.
 
4 days ago  
Honest to goodness, my lottery fantasy is to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and not have to spend 5 days every week to just get 48 hours to enjoy life.
 
4 days ago  
Ariel Atom
 
4 days ago  
2nd home high in the Rockies to live in during the summer.  Nothing fancy, just nice and space for a every day car and something fun for the mountain roads.
 
4 days ago  
I would spend whatever it took to get Gym Jordan indicted then convicted for his crimes against humanity. Maybe put together a civil suit, if necessary. Whatever's left will be going to the "Bomb Kentucky Off the Planet" fund drive.

If after that there are still funds available, I would buy my neighbor's house (4 doors up) and burn the sonofabiatch to the ground with all their Trump propaganda included. In the front yard, I would get a carnival to come in for the kids along with a couple of those stupid air things kids bounce around in and violently fly into the air when a decent wind gust comes through. I would make sure those things are very secure and connected to Terra Firma.

If there happened to be any more cash to be put to use, I would have to figure out how to get some (not that big of a pile) to the chillins.

If there is another little stash left then I think it needs to go to mushrooms and my wonderful Psychiatrist, who got me this far.

Wait. I changed my mind. Gym Jordan moves down the list a bit. Annihilate and Sterilize Kentucky moves up a notch. No more than 50% of the total haul goes there. This way, I can give AOC a big sackful and she can do whatever it is she does. I would tip Jan Psaki $9,999 so it doesn't need reported.

That's stupid. Charity. A lion's share goes to charity. 80%, maybe 75%. The remainder? Drugs and a lifetime gym pass. Maybe throw a recording studio together. Buy a good telescope for a small college that wants one. 7 figures can get something decent, I imagine. Speaking of telescopes, I would send Scott Manley a very nice card and a check. Same with the Veritasium guy (Derek) & ParallaxNick. And Beau of the Fifth Column. Yeah, Derek might be a little full of himself but I think he's earned it. I would love to have a beer with each and every one of them except I run a dry band bus these days.

Ehhh, wait a second. I think I want to be a silent partner in the pot business. Strike that, I'm too old for that crap. Hell, I don't know. Too big of a question for me. I wouldn't spend it on a lob above the Kármán line, that's for sure.

I think I would get a Dual Citizenship somewhere so I have a place to go when the assholes take over and Americans get an Eric Clapton / Ted Nugent collaboration with 3 Names Margie conducting and Mike Rowe singing Alto.  And Kevin Sorbo playing the village idiot. And Bill O'Reilly mud wrestling with that stupid idiot Libertarian who has a stupid cable show. And ......
 
4 days ago  
I went with something similar but more practical:

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4 days ago  

weddingsinger: Honest to goodness, my lottery fantasy is to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and not have to spend 5 days every week to just get 48 hours to enjoy life.


Yep, a nice house, but nothing over the top. It would have to include a game room and a home theater, and a really nice garage. But no mansion, no elevators or helipads. Hell, I'd almost live in the house we're renting right now.

A couple of new cars, probably a couple of collector cars, but really nothing more than would fit me in a nice neighborhood. And then I could do something like volunteer doing things I like . Maybe help with daycare or doggie daycare. I love kids and dogs. I'd throw some serious money at the charities I like, but the whole thing really would be geared to living comfortably the rest of my life and being able to afford things like a vacation once a year and not buying cars that are a minimum of 10 years old.
 
4 days ago  
Jeff Tiedrich would get a nice check for keeping me entertained on Twittles or whatever it's called. New fangled crap. I like the way he doesn't forget the colorful language.
 
4 days ago  
my very own F-16
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4 days ago  
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4 days ago  
I would wear brand new socks every day.
 
4 days ago  

weddingsinger: Honest to goodness, my lottery fantasy is to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and not have to spend 5 days every week to just get 48 hours to enjoy life.


This.

If I won the lottery I'd just pay off my mortgage and put the rest in a lifetime annuity.

Ideally, the annuity would pay about 12-30k/year.  That's all the F-you money I'd need once the mortgage is paid off.

I've done the math.  I could pull it off with a 1 million dollar prize (assuming 600k after taxes).
 
4 days ago  
That's a nice boat, but I kinda hate the interior decorating. Can't you have a nice boat where the inside doesn't look like it was decorated by one of the Trump klan?
 
4 days ago  

akya: weddingsinger: Honest to goodness, my lottery fantasy is to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and not have to spend 5 days every week to just get 48 hours to enjoy life.

This.

If I won the lottery I'd just pay off my mortgage and put the rest in a lifetime annuity.

Ideally, the annuity would pay about 12-30k/year.  That's all the F-you money I'd need once the mortgage is paid off.

I've done the math.  I could pull it off with a 1 million dollar prize (assuming 600k after taxes).


Knew a guy back in the 90s who won $3 million or so in the lottery. After taxes, I think it was $1.6 mil or so. He said just putting it in the bank and collecting interest would be like $30 grand a year. And that's without doing any fancy investing. If I had everything paid off, $30 Grand would be a fortune. :-)

I know it wouldn't exactly be a "fortune", but you get my point. :-)
 
4 days ago  
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4 days ago  

UberDave: [Fark user image image 425x322]


Came here to post the same! But more seriously, I'd buy a Bosendorfer grand piano. And a house big enough for it.
 
4 days ago  
I'd get some land and get a custom pond done by the team aquascape people.
I'm pretty boring in my middle age.
 
4 days ago  

Mikey1969: akya: weddingsinger: Honest to goodness, my lottery fantasy is to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and not have to spend 5 days every week to just get 48 hours to enjoy life.

This.

If I won the lottery I'd just pay off my mortgage and put the rest in a lifetime annuity.

Ideally, the annuity would pay about 12-30k/year.  That's all the F-you money I'd need once the mortgage is paid off.

I've done the math.  I could pull it off with a 1 million dollar prize (assuming 600k after taxes).

Knew a guy back in the 90s who won $3 million or so in the lottery. After taxes, I think it was $1.6 mil or so. He said just putting it in the bank and collecting interest would be like $30 grand a year. And that's without doing any fancy investing. If I had everything paid off, $30 Grand would be a fortune. :-)

I know it wouldn't exactly be a "fortune", but you get my point. :-)


Putting it in a couple of index funds will generally safely get you 5-8%.  So $1.6 million, with $1 million invested actively, should get you $50,000 a year to live off of and $600,000 still stashed safely in bonds or whatever just in case.
 
4 days ago  
Oh, that's easy. An Avro RJ85 with a custom interior. Terrible fuel consumption, but they're so roomy.
 
4 days ago  
A cave house like this. Just not in Missouri.

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4 days ago  

weddingsinger: Mikey1969: akya: weddingsinger: Honest to goodness, my lottery fantasy is to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and not have to spend 5 days every week to just get 48 hours to enjoy life.

This.

If I won the lottery I'd just pay off my mortgage and put the rest in a lifetime annuity.

Ideally, the annuity would pay about 12-30k/year.  That's all the F-you money I'd need once the mortgage is paid off.

I've done the math.  I could pull it off with a 1 million dollar prize (assuming 600k after taxes).

Knew a guy back in the 90s who won $3 million or so in the lottery. After taxes, I think it was $1.6 mil or so. He said just putting it in the bank and collecting interest would be like $30 grand a year. And that's without doing any fancy investing. If I had everything paid off, $30 Grand would be a fortune. :-)

I know it wouldn't exactly be a "fortune", but you get my point. :-)

Putting it in a couple of index funds will generally safely get you 5-8%.  So $1.6 million, with $1 million invested actively, should get you $50,000 a year to live off of and $600,000 still stashed safely in bonds or whatever just in case.


Yep, that would be my plan. Something simple with a decent yield. I don't need limousines and shiat like that, just to be able to not worry about money and continue more or less the same level life I have now.
 
4 days ago  
1987 Buick GNx and a Koeeeniiiiiigggseeeeegggg

Probably some others.  Nothing too extravagant.

As was mentioned above, a solid middle class lifestyle without the need to work unless I wanted to.
 
4 days ago  
I'd form a soda company called something rude like "HairyPenis." Then I'd rent a whole shaitload of billboards across the Bible Belt with my smiling face saying something like "Hey, Lubbock, put my HairyPenis in your mouth!"
 
4 days ago  
I'd design my own house and have it built. Every little stupid detail completely up to me.
 
4 days ago  
Migrating out of the United States before the collapse.
 
4 days ago  
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4 days ago  
Honestly, I have a lot - most-likely too many - fantasies about how I'd try to improve the world-/help people- if I suddenly gained a silly amount of money; right now though... a prostitute to lose my 'V', my grandmother's house - partly because it holds a lot of memories for me, partly to stop my family from fighting over it, and partly so I can offer it as somewhere for friends to crash at -, and setting up a school for "mature" students to study subjects that they can't otherwise study (because it's a requirement that those subjects are studied on-site and no school which teaches those subjects accepts "mature" students)
 
4 days ago  
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And

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AND

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4 days ago  
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Contraforte
 
4 days ago  
Prepare for the lamest answer: I'd move back in with my parents. The family farm is pretty humble, but a few million bucks will fix that right up. Then I'd buy the forty acres of woodland across the road and build myself a cabin for a little privacy.
 
4 days ago  
ReluctantLondon:

Aw now I feel guilty. I'd want to do philanthropy too. Like give to the inner city school district or some program to help disadvantaged kids get to good situations... so maybe just the MiG and the rest to a good cause.
 
4 days ago  
A new house for my mom and a deep sea fishing trip for my dad.
 
4 days ago  

kozlo: ReluctantLondon:

Aw now I feel guilty. I'd want to do philanthropy too. Like give to the inner city school district or some program to help disadvantaged kids get to good situations... so maybe just the MiG and the rest to a good cause.


My version of that is affordable housing.

I'd build an apartment complex with a grocery store on the 1st floor.  In building daycare, free courtesy ride van, and a social worker or some kind of advocate to help residents with various needs like applying for assistance or enrolling in classes... anything they need.

Rent is free.  Anyone unemployed also gets gift cards for the grocery store every month.  Free diapers, formula, etc for anyone who needs it.
 
4 days ago  
Land. Lots of land to build a home on.
 
4 days ago  
I'd run for Congress.
 
4 days ago  
427 Shelby Cobra.
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4 days ago  
Cessna 182RG
 
4 days ago  
2016 Porche 911 R
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+
Track time
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4 days ago  
I'm on the same page as a lot of you who have posted about a house and living comfortably. I'm also inspired by those of you who want to do something to help others.

If, after all that, there was a spare 10 grand or so, I'd probably go with this:

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No, it's not a Les Paul -- not exactly. And that's not flame maple; it's Arctic birch, with a Spanish cedar back. This is -- or would be, if I had said $10k -- made by Juha Ruokangas, a Finnish luthier who makes absolutely gorgeous instruments. He has an app/program you can download to design your dream guitar, and this (for now) is mine.
 
4 days ago  

UberDave: [Fark user image 425x322]


Well, besides that....
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and/or
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\aka, dad & mom's cars when I was born
\\and those aren't the real ones but they are the right colors
 
4 days ago  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

Gramma: I would wear brand new socks every day.


Jerry Lewis style.
 
4 days ago  
I'd find out how much the local arts council radio station needed for the next 10 years, so they'll STOP DOING THOSE ANNOYING FUND DRIVES, AND KEEP PLAYING SOME GODDDAMN MUSIC!
After that... a fully off grid 1000sq ft 2 bdrm cabin anywhere on the coast from SF to Astoria, OR.
 
4 days ago  
I don't know what I would buy right away, but I would definitely start voting for Republicans.
 
4 days ago  
Wisdom from a friend: if it floats, flys or farks, lease it. Don't own.
 
4 days ago  

KC Dutchman: Wisdom from a friend: if it floats, flys or farks, lease it. Don't own.


Canoe, parakeet, Real Doll.
 
4 days ago  

Lothar IB: I'd get some land and get a custom pond done by the team aquascape people.
I'm pretty boring in my middle age.


I wacky parsed that as Custom Porn.....
 
4 days ago  

weddingsinger: Honest to goodness, my lottery fantasy is to live a comfortable middle class lifestyle and not have to spend 5 days every week to just get 48 hours to enjoy life.


Such greed!
 
4 days ago  

Gramma: I would wear brand new socks every day.


Oh thank God I'm not alone in this one
 
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