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(WRAL)   There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll are enjoying the beach. By the way, does anyone know how to kill two large sharks?   (wral.com) divider line
    More: Scary, English-language films, Oak Island, Ocean, Oak Island Water Rescue, North Carolina, large sharks, natural thing, 40th Street Inlet Park  
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1800 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2021 at 3:20 PM (4 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
4 days ago  
I hope the person that knows how to kill sharks didn't have the fish for dinner.
 
4 days ago  
Ask Jason Statham?
 
4 days ago  
If you feed them enough fatty beach apes, they'll eventually develop heart disease.
 
4 days ago  

scottydoesntknow: Ask Jason Statham?


Was coming here to post this very thing. Leaving satisfied.
 
4 days ago  
Tell them vaccines are a hoax.
 
4 days ago  
With two large bullets?
 
4 days ago  
No reason for alarm. Uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

/also, amity, as you know, means friendship.
 
4 days ago  
I hope you'll are having English as a second language.
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size

"A shark...in the ocean??"
 
4 days ago  
Maybe leave the sharks alone?
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size


All you need is this
 
4 days ago  
I'll waive my $3000 finder fee, but it's still gonna cost you $10000. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

scottydoesntknow: Ask Jason Statham?


Or Ian Ziering
 
4 days ago  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Step 1: Get a bigger boat.
Step 2: ??
Step 3: Profit!
 
4 days ago  
Martin, my kids were on that beach, too.
 
4 days ago  

Nurglitch: Maybe leave the sharks alone?


That's not a manly enough answer.

*belch* *grunt*

*scratches balls*
 
4 days ago  
Poke them in the eye,,,with your stump
 
4 days ago  

trappedspirit: I hope you'll are having English as a second language.


As for me I hope their retyping they're headline on a phone without autocorrect that turns spaces into apostrophes, as if we don't have enough f*cking errors in this world already, and entropy always increases, and these kinds of people are damn well going to do there part to insure it.
 
4 days ago  
Thinking back.. we swam/played/body surfed in Nor Cal as kids ALL THE TIME.
Never even thought about sharks. Saw sea lions popping their heads up in waves not more than 30 feet from us and thought it was a hoot, since they were obviously watching us. This was just south of where the Russian River hits the coast, which at certain times of the year is closed during sea lion breeding season.
Guess we were lucky. Or the odds of getting attacked are pretty F'n low on any given day.
Maybe our pee was a deterrent.
 
4 days ago  
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4 days ago  
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
If you swim in the ocean expert's say don't!
 
4 days ago  
You can live scared of sharks, but I'm not going to limit myself or my family from enjoying the ocean because you aren't strong enough to fend off sharks for yourself.
 
4 days ago  
Ignore them, humans are a far bigger threat.
 
4 days ago  
You all know me. You know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for ya, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like goin' down to the pond chasing bluegills or tommycats. This shark will swallow you whole. Shakin'. Tenderizin'. Down you go. Now we got to do it quick. That'll bring back the tourists and it'll put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, Chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him and kill him for ten. You've got to make up your minds. Gonna stay alive and ante up? Or want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers. I don't want no mates. There's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that, you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

/ Too late
 
4 days ago  
Make the son of a biatch smile.
It causes them to expode.
 
4 days ago  
Or sometimes even explode.
 
4 days ago  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: You can live scared of sharks, but I'm not going to limit myself or my family from enjoying the ocean because you aren't strong enough to fend off sharks for yourself.


Also, don't more people die from bee stings than shark attacks in a given year?
 
4 days ago  
The article recommends swimming with a buddy for safety. I assume they mean swimming with a buddy who doesn't swim as fast as you do.
 
4 days ago  

Natalie Portmanteau: We Ate the Necco Wafers: You can live scared of sharks, but I'm not going to limit myself or my family from enjoying the ocean because you aren't strong enough to fend off sharks for yourself.

Also, don't more people die from bee stings than shark attacks in a given year?


That's because there aren't as many people allergic to shark bites!
 
4 days ago  
Fentanyl and night swimming kills sharks.

Could kill you too, but you were asking how to kill sharks instead of finding somewhere else to be, so I assume you're an asshole.
 
4 days ago  
oh cool. say... there's no way sharks could swing five miles by Saturday morning, right? asking for myself and a bunch of friends who are going to be at Carolina beach this weekend.
 
4 days ago  
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4 days ago  

cleek: oh cool. say... there's no way sharks could swing five miles by Saturday morning, right? asking for myself and a bunch of friends who are going to be at Carolina beach this weekend.


Apparently, the safest thing to do is only swim at dawn or dusk, and throw a bunch of fish parts all around so the sharks think that you're a shark too. He'll respect your territory and move along.
 
4 days ago  
Magnanimous_J    

cleek: oh cool. say... there's no way sharks could swing five miles by Saturday morning, right? asking for myself and a bunch of friends who are going to be at Carolina beach this weekend.

Apparently, the safest thing to do is only swim at dawn or dusk, and throw a bunch of fish parts all around so the sharks think that you're a shark too. He'll respect your territory and move along.


Thanks for the good advice, chum!
 
4 days ago  
They are hunting in packs, now?!
 
4 days ago  
th.bing.comView Full Size

Shoot his air tank.
 
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