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(NPR)   No, the IRS isn't texting you in broken English to see why you haven't picked up your child tax credit money yet. The fact that you don't have any children really should have been your first hint   (npr.org) divider line
    More: Obvious, Cheque, Taxation in the United States, child tax credit payments, Fraud, Money, Identity theft, Tax, red flag  
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1769 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jul 2021 at 8:50 AM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-07-22 7:41:19 AM  
To be fair, I still get calls about my car's warranty and my car insurance, and I don't own a car. I just assume that it's all spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam eggs and Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam baked beans. Spam Spam Spam...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Spam.
 
2021-07-22 8:16:44 AM  
The other day, I had a voice mail from "the attorney's office" that I might not have to pay off all my revolving installment debt. I wish they had called before I finished paying off our installment debt.

I was getting calls at least twice a day on my work phone from Crystal about the rent-to-own homes and her inquiring about my health today. I started talking about how miserable my life was and she just kept on. I told the bot "well if you aren't going to listen to me, stop calling me." Crystal hasn't called in a week. I hope she didn't think it was personal.
 
2021-07-22 8:18:12 AM  

hubiestubert: To be fair, I still get calls about my car's warranty and my car insurance, and I don't own a car. I just assume that it's all spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam eggs and Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam baked beans. Spam Spam Spam...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Spam.


You're probably one of the few people of Fark I would want to prepare for me Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Spam.
 
2021-07-22 8:54:43 AM  
If you recognise the broken English then the scam isn't for you
 
2021-07-22 8:58:28 AM  
I have been getting a ridiculous amount of text spam lately, and yup, the "unclaimed child tax credit refund" one is a frequent one.
 
2021-07-22 8:58:32 AM  
For some reason I like the call from the Department of Social Security. The bad English and threat of suspending by SS license or whatever is funny to me.

The dude calling to speak to Virginia was convincing the first time.
 
2021-07-22 8:58:41 AM  
Spammers have the confidence of natural reproductive processes.
"Look I will just throw 250 pinecones full of seeds on the ground, maybe one of these will be a new tree."
"I'm gonna put my seeds in this delicious fruit, make a shiatload of it, and hope somebody eats it and poops it out and a new tree grows"
"I am gonna squirt 300 million sperm into this woman, maybe one of these will swim up the tube, fertilize an egg, and the egg will travel back to the uterus and grow into a new person"
"I am going to call everyone. EVERYONE. And I'll say I'm from 'card services.' And somebody's gonna give me a social security number. I don't know what I'll do with that number when I get it, but this will be worth it."
 
2021-07-22 8:59:35 AM  

Miss5280: I have been getting a ridiculous amount of text spam lately, and yup, the "unclaimed child tax credit refund" one is a frequent one.


The rising tide lifts *all* ships.
 
2021-07-22 9:01:21 AM  
The people at the extended car warranty place are really mad that I've been ignoring their calls, so now they're sending the government after me. This is my 10th day on the run. I haven't actually gone anywhere.

/ I kinda want to engage with them just to see what they had to say.
 
2021-07-22 9:01:56 AM  
Hold on, I have a pressing call about my car's warranty. They sound angry, I hope I'm not in any trouble.
 
2021-07-22 9:03:03 AM  

iheartscotch: The people at the extended car warranty place are really mad that I've been ignoring their calls, so now they're sending the government after me. This is my 10th day on the run. I haven't actually gone anywhere.

/ I kinda want to engage with them just to see what they had to say.


Oh boy, this doesn't bode well for me...
 
2021-07-22 9:03:32 AM  
No, it's legit.
You just have to verify your SSN and send them an Amazon gift card as security deposit.
 
2021-07-22 9:03:54 AM  
I've been getting a lot of voicemails about student load debt relief, supposedly about something Biden recently passed.  But I haven't had any student loans since about 2004, and they're calling from different numbers AND different states.. so I never recognize the number.
 
2021-07-22 9:07:03 AM  

Alphax: I've been getting a lot of voicemails about student load debt relief, supposedly about something Biden recently passed.  But I haven't had any student loans since about 2004, and they're calling from different numbers AND different states.. so I never recognize the number.


Yeah, I've gotten those. My phone doesn't ring for unknown numbers, so I just get the voicemails. My student loans were paid off in the early 90s.
 
2021-07-22 9:08:00 AM  
I think this a good time to mention my free anti-ransomware program. Just give me a shout and I'll send the link.

Unrelated, who here knows how to use bitcoin?
 
2021-07-22 9:09:05 AM  

Miss5280: I have been getting a ridiculous amount of text spam lately, and yup, the "unclaimed child tax credit refund" one is a frequent one.


I've recently started getting spam texts that say they're coming from gmail accounts. There's no attachments or links or anything in them, they're either blank or just have gibberish in them like "????????????".

I'm not sure what the point is, unless it's just to be annoying.
 
2021-07-22 9:09:49 AM  
Dang, I thought I was getting a check....now I find out I'm only going to get Amazon gift cards as payment.
 
2021-07-22 9:10:44 AM  

iheartscotch: The people at the extended car warranty place are really mad that I've been ignoring their calls, so now they're sending the government after me. This is my 10th day on the run. I haven't actually gone anywhere.

/ I kinda want to engage with them just to see what they had to say.


You think you're in trouble?  I didn't show up for my interrogation.
They didn't say what kind or by who, but I'm supposed to call them to find out where I need to show up to be interrogated for *waves hands around* some kinda reason.
 
2021-07-22 9:11:06 AM  
Actually, now I'm wondering if that one might not be real.
 
2021-07-22 9:13:36 AM  
PSA. If a guy with a thick Indian accent named John Wilson calls from "your credit card company" about possible fraudulent charges on your card...hang up.
 
2021-07-22 9:20:10 AM  

moothemagiccow: Spammers have the confidence of natural reproductive processes.
"Look I will just throw 250 pinecones full of seeds on the ground, maybe one of these will be a new tree."
"I'm gonna put my seeds in this delicious fruit, make a shiatload of it, and hope somebody eats it and poops it out and a new tree grows"
"I am gonna squirt 300 million sperm into this woman, maybe one of these will swim up the tube, fertilize an egg, and the egg will travel back to the uterus and grow into a new person"
"I am going to call everyone. EVERYONE. And I'll say I'm from 'card services.' And somebody's gonna give me a social security number. I don't know what I'll do with that number when I get it, but this will be worth it."


And there are enough people who lack basic critical thinking skills for this to be profitable.

CSB:

Let me tell about my elderly neighbor, the retired mechanical engineer.   Yes, he was elderly, but he didn't seem to be exhibiting any outward signs of dementia at the time.  He also had near zero computer skills since desktop computing was before his time.    This is how the conversation went.

Old Neighbor:  I got a call from Microsoft today.

Me:  You have a problem with your Windows installation?

Old Neighbor:  How did you know!?

Me: And it will only cost $39.95 to correct.

Old Neighbor:  He said that was the usual price, but there was a special offer available, the price was only $29.95.

Me:  Holy shiat!  Did you give them any of your credit card or bank info?

Old Neighbor:  Nah, I told them I have a neighbor who futzes around with computers (yours truly), he'll help me.

Me: Good.

Old Neighbor:  So you coming over?

Me: For what?

Old Neighbor:  To fix my computer.

Me: There's nothing wrong with your computer.

Old Neighbor: But Microsoft called me...

Me: Microsoft did not call you.

Old Neighbor:  They did.  They knew I had a computer.

Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.
 
2021-07-22 9:22:49 AM  

iheartscotch: The people at the extended car warranty place are really mad that I've been ignoring their calls, so now they're sending the government after me. This is my 10th day on the run. I haven't actually gone anywhere.

/ I kinda want to engage with them just to see what they had to say.


I have fun with the car people by agreeing to whatever they're doing. When they start asking me about the make, model and year of my car, I give them the specs of my bicycle. When they figure or draw it out that I'm talking about a bike I argue about discrimination and their missed opportunities. Sure, Americans usually drive cars, but most Asians, most of the world, ride bikes...
 
2021-07-22 9:23:28 AM  

Numberlady2: PSA. If a guy with a thick Indian accent named John Wilson calls from "your credit card company" about possible fraudulent charges on your card...hang up.


If a number comes up that isn't in your contacts.....simply don't answer.

If you have actual business with me, leave a salient message and I'll get back to you.

Many moons ago when I had a landline and didn't have caller ID, I would listen to their script for a minute and then sound super interested and say "hold on, lemme get a pen" then cover the receiver and time how long it would take till they hung up.

I figured if I kept them on the line for 5 minutes that was five minutes at the end of their day they weren't calling someone else.

Fun fact. A number of call centers make their phone guy ask a manger if they can disconnect.

"He said he was getting a pen."
"Give him 3 more minutes and then you can disconnect"

What a soul crushing job.
 
2021-07-22 9:23:55 AM  

Fissile: moothemagiccow: Spammers have the confidence of natural reproductive processes.
"Look I will just throw 250 pinecones full of seeds on the ground, maybe one of these will be a new tree."
"I'm gonna put my seeds in this delicious fruit, make a shiatload of it, and hope somebody eats it and poops it out and a new tree grows"
"I am gonna squirt 300 million sperm into this woman, maybe one of these will swim up the tube, fertilize an egg, and the egg will travel back to the uterus and grow into a new person"
"I am going to call everyone. EVERYONE. And I'll say I'm from 'card services.' And somebody's gonna give me a social security number. I don't know what I'll do with that number when I get it, but this will be worth it."

And there are enough people who lack basic critical thinking skills for this to be profitable.

CSB:

Let me tell about my elderly neighbor, the retired mechanical engineer.   Yes, he was elderly, but he didn't seem to be exhibiting any outward signs of dementia at the time.  He also had near zero computer skills since desktop computing was before his time.    This is how the conversation went.

Old Neighbor:  I got a call from Microsoft today.

Me:  You have a problem with your Windows installation?

Old Neighbor:  How did you know!?

Me: And it will only cost $39.95 to correct.

Old Neighbor:  He said that was the usual price, but there was a special offer available, the price was only $29.95.

Me:  Holy shiat!  Did you give them any of your credit card or bank info?

Old Neighbor:  Nah, I told them I have a neighbor who futzes around with computers (yours truly), he'll help me.

Me: Good.

Old Neighbor:  So you coming over?

Me: For what?

Old Neighbor:  To fix my computer.

Me: There's nothing wrong with your computer.

Old Neighbor: But Microsoft called me...

Me: Microsoft did not call you.

Old Neighbor:  They did.  They knew I had a computer.

Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.


So did you fix his computer yet?
 
2021-07-22 9:26:25 AM  
I had "the social security FBI" call me the other day.  Budget cuts, y'know, sharing office space.

I had fun with them.  They were dumb enough to call me from a working phone number. They dropped all pretext and started screaming obscenities by about the 30th call.

/I was bored on my lunch break, don't judge me
 
2021-07-22 9:27:15 AM  

Tchernobog: I had "the social security FBI" call me the other day.  Budget cuts, y'know, sharing office space.

I had fun with them.  They were dumb enough to call me from a working phone number. They dropped all pretext and started screaming obscenities by about the 30th call.

/I was bored on my lunch break, don't judge me


😆😆😆😆🙃🙋
 
2021-07-22 9:28:48 AM  

Rev. Skarekroe: No, it's legit.
You just have to verify your SSN and send them an Amazon gift card as security deposit.


But I just got a call from Amazon yesterday, telling me that there had been a suspicious $729 charge on my account

I know it was really from Amazon, as they had a robotic voice, because they're cheap and don't pay their workers, so it makes sense they'd replace them with robots
 
2021-07-22 9:29:59 AM  

Oneiros: Rev. Skarekroe: No, it's legit.
You just have to verify your SSN and send them an Amazon gift card as security deposit.

But I just got a call from Amazon yesterday, telling me that there had been a suspicious $729 charge on my account

I know it was really from Amazon, as they had a robotic voice, because they're cheap and don't pay their workers, so it makes sense they'd replace them with robots


I love the emails that threaten to suspend or lock this account or that account and I'm like okay go ahead thank you I appreciate that
 
2021-07-22 9:30:16 AM  

waxbeans: Tchernobog: I had "the social security FBI" call me the other day.  Budget cuts, y'know, sharing office space.

I had fun with them.  They were dumb enough to call me from a working phone number. They dropped all pretext and started screaming obscenities by about the 30th call.

/I was bored on my lunch break, don't judge me

😆😆😆😆🙃🙋


I did something similar once, called them back repeatedly from an internal phone line, so my number just showed up as the main business line, no extension. At one point the lady on the other end shouted "WE KNOW YOU WORK AT (Employer), IF YOU DON'T STOP CALLING WE'LL REPORT YOU FOR HARASSMENT!"

It was glorious 😎
 
2021-07-22 9:32:59 AM  

Candygram for Mongo: I just walked away at that point shaking my head.

So did you fix his computer yet?



I want to know if he fixed the cable.
 
2021-07-22 9:33:30 AM  

Candygram for Mongo: Fissile: moothemagiccow: Spammers have the confidence of natural reproductive processes.
"Look I will just throw 250 pinecones full of seeds on the ground, maybe one of these will be a new tree."
"I'm gonna put my seeds in this delicious fruit, make a shiatload of it, and hope somebody eats it and poops it out and a new tree grows"
"I am gonna squirt 300 million sperm into this woman, maybe one of these will swim up the tube, fertilize an egg, and the egg will travel back to the uterus and grow into a new person"
"I am going to call everyone. EVERYONE. And I'll say I'm from 'card services.' And somebody's gonna give me a social security number. I don't know what I'll do with that number when I get it, but this will be worth it."

And there are enough people who lack basic critical thinking skills for this to be profitable.

CSB:

Let me tell about my elderly neighbor, the retired mechanical engineer.   Yes, he was elderly, but he didn't seem to be exhibiting any outward signs of dementia at the time.  He also had near zero computer skills since desktop computing was before his time.    This is how the conversation went.

Old Neighbor:  I got a call from Microsoft today.

Me:  You have a problem with your Windows installation?

Old Neighbor:  How did you know!?

Me: And it will only cost $39.95 to correct.

Old Neighbor:  He said that was the usual price, but there was a special offer available, the price was only $29.95.

Me:  Holy shiat!  Did you give them any of your credit card or bank info?

Old Neighbor:  Nah, I told them I have a neighbor who futzes around with computers (yours truly), he'll help me.

Me: Good.

Old Neighbor:  So you coming over?

Me: For what?

Old Neighbor:  To fix my computer.

Me: There's nothing wrong with your computer.

Old Neighbor: But Microsoft called me...

Me: Microsoft did not call you.

Old Neighbor:  They did.  They knew I had a computer.

Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.

So did you fix his computer yet?


I bet he fixed his cable ;)
 
2021-07-22 9:35:57 AM  

Rev. Skarekroe: You just have to verify your SSN


Sigh. Our SSNs were never meant to be a unique identifier for all purposes under the sun.
 
2021-07-22 9:36:36 AM  

waxbeans: Oneiros: Rev. Skarekroe: No, it's legit.
You just have to verify your SSN and send them an Amazon gift card as security deposit.

But I just got a call from Amazon yesterday, telling me that there had been a suspicious $729 charge on my account

I know it was really from Amazon, as they had a robotic voice, because they're cheap and don't pay their workers, so it makes sense they'd replace them with robots

I love the emails that threaten to suspend or lock this account or that account and I'm like okay go ahead thank you I appreciate that


I have a personal domain.  So any email claiming to be from the admin or account services or whatever would have to be from me.  But they still try.

Currently the ones that bug me is that somehow my phone number got associated with my address somehow, so I get a lot of phone calls and text messages from people wanting to buy my house. (As our county was #1 for profits in house flipping)

I know they're partially cribbed from the state's property records, because there's a typo in my name on the deed, and so they think my name is 'jospeph'.
 
2021-07-22 9:36:43 AM  

Candygram for Mongo: Fissile: moothemagiccow: Spammers have the confidence of natural reproductive processes.
"Look I will just throw 250 pinecones full of seeds on the ground, maybe one of these will be a new tree."
"I'm gonna put my seeds in this delicious fruit, make a shiatload of it, and hope somebody eats it and poops it out and a new tree grows"
"I am gonna squirt 300 million sperm into this woman, maybe one of these will swim up the tube, fertilize an egg, and the egg will travel back to the uterus and grow into a new person"
"I am going to call everyone. EVERYONE. And I'll say I'm from 'card services.' And somebody's gonna give me a social security number. I don't know what I'll do with that number when I get it, but this will be worth it."

And there are enough people who lack basic critical thinking skills for this to be profitable.

CSB:

Let me tell about my elderly neighbor, the retired mechanical engineer.   Yes, he was elderly, but he didn't seem to be exhibiting any outward signs of dementia at the time.  He also had near zero computer skills since desktop computing was before his time.    This is how the conversation went.

Old Neighbor:  I got a call from Microsoft today.

Me:  You have a problem with your Windows installation?

Old Neighbor:  How did you know!?

Me: And it will only cost $39.95 to correct.

Old Neighbor:  He said that was the usual price, but there was a special offer available, the price was only $29.95.

Me:  Holy shiat!  Did you give them any of your credit card or bank info?

Old Neighbor:  Nah, I told them I have a neighbor who futzes around with computers (yours truly), he'll help me.

Me: Good.

Old Neighbor:  So you coming over?

Me: For what?

Old Neighbor:  To fix my computer.

Me: There's nothing wrong with your computer.

Old Neighbor: But Microsoft called me...

Me: Microsoft did not call you.

Old Neighbor:  They did.  They knew I had a computer.

Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer..... ...


And did you fix it for free? Everyone knows that IT people fix any thing that runs on electricity for free, except for house wiring. That cost money.
 
2021-07-22 9:39:51 AM  

Candygram for Mongo: So did you fix his computer yet?


I've been busy with my real estate side hustle.  I got something you might be interested in.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
amb
2021-07-22 9:42:40 AM  
We haven't gotten any calls about it, but I did get a letter from the IRS advising us that we would be receiving the money in a few weeks. That was late June/early July. We got $250.00 in our checking account deposited this week.

So if we do get a call, I guess I'll just say, "No thanks, already got it."
 
2021-07-22 9:42:50 AM  
I've gotten a call from someone who said they were with social security and they detected someone was fraudulently using my SS# and if I didn't pay the fine, I'd be arrested. I asked them to verify that someone *else* was using it fraudulently. They said yes. So if they knew it was someone else, why would *I* be arrested?  "Because sir, you are responsible for any use of your number."

Another from Medicare (I'm not even on it) called me to 'verify' my card number. I gave him the sample number from the image on GIS. He then asked who my doctor was.  I said "Dr Beverly Crusher". He said he couldn't find her info. I said "well I don't know what to tell you, I've been seeing her since 1987." He says "hold on...I'll check the internet." He says "Okay I found your doctor" he's then quiet for like 30 seconds and then starts cussing me out. I laughed and hung up.
 
2021-07-22 9:43:16 AM  

Fissile: Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.


Seriously?  You just walked away?  You didn't go over to his house, punch a few keys and say, "There ya go." just to give him some peace of mind?  You just left the poor old guy hanging right out there on the street?
 
2021-07-22 9:43:19 AM  

Oneiros: waxbeans: Oneiros: Rev. Skarekroe: No, it's legit.
You just have to verify your SSN and send them an Amazon gift card as security deposit.

But I just got a call from Amazon yesterday, telling me that there had been a suspicious $729 charge on my account

I know it was really from Amazon, as they had a robotic voice, because they're cheap and don't pay their workers, so it makes sense they'd replace them with robots

I love the emails that threaten to suspend or lock this account or that account and I'm like okay go ahead thank you I appreciate that

I have a personal domain.  So any email claiming to be from the admin or account services or whatever would have to be from me.  But they still try.

Currently the ones that bug me is that somehow my phone number got associated with my address somehow, so I get a lot of phone calls and text messages from people wanting to buy my house. (As our county was #1 for profits in house flipping)

I know they're partially cribbed from the state's property records, because there's a typo in my name on the deed, and so they think my name is 'jospeph'.


Exactly.
I use a specific nickname for specific things I know are going to be spammy so what they send me spam with that nickname I don't even have to open the email it just goes immediately to delete.
And it works out perfectly when they figure out how to link my email with my phone number and they start sending me text messages and I'll text messages start with hey so and so and when they call me by that name I know exactly why they're doing it and that gets immediately reported a Spam too.

Only legitimate companies get my real name. And that's like five companies.
 
2021-07-22 9:47:11 AM  

jimjays: iheartscotch: The people at the extended car warranty place are really mad that I've been ignoring their calls, so now they're sending the government after me. This is my 10th day on the run. I haven't actually gone anywhere.

/ I kinda want to engage with them just to see what they had to say.

I have fun with the car people by agreeing to whatever they're doing. When they start asking me about the make, model and year of my car, I give them the specs of my bicycle. When they figure or draw it out that I'm talking about a bike I argue about discrimination and their missed opportunities. Sure, Americans usually drive cars, but most Asians, most of the world, ride bikes...


Many years ago, when I would get these calls, I asked them which car

"You called to tell me that my warranty was about to run out, but you don't know which car?"

Mind you, I only had one car at the time.  Which was at least 10 years old, as I've never bought a new car.

I've done the same when getting calls about my credit card, asking them which one they were calling about.... which was good, as there have actually been two times when my bank legitimately called me about charges they thought were suspicious.  (Although one of those times, I was traveling, and two of the three suspicious charges I knew were legit, and I asked them to NOT shut it off.... but they did anyway)
 
2021-07-22 9:48:19 AM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Fissile: Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.

Seriously?  You just walked away?  You didn't go over to his house, punch a few keys and say, "There ya go." just to give him some peace of mind?  You just left the poor old guy hanging right out there on the street?


Old people who have fallen for a scam are like GQPers who are convinced the vaccine has mind control drugs in it.  Very hard to convince otherwise.
 
2021-07-22 9:48:43 AM  

IamTomJoad: Numberlady2: PSA. If a guy with a thick Indian accent named John Wilson calls from "your credit card company" about possible fraudulent charges on your card...hang up.

If a number comes up that isn't in your contacts.....simply don't answer.

If you have actual business with me, leave a salient message and I'll get back to you.

Many moons ago when I had a landline and didn't have caller ID, I would listen to their script for a minute and then sound super interested and say "hold on, lemme get a pen" then cover the receiver and time how long it would take till they hung up.

I figured if I kept them on the line for 5 minutes that was five minutes at the end of their day they weren't calling someone else.

Fun fact. A number of call centers make their phone guy ask a manger if they can disconnect.

"He said he was getting a pen."
"Give him 3 more minutes and then you can disconnect"

What a soul crushing job.


Two minutes later you should've followed up with:

"Okay, I found a pen."
"Wait, no, it's not writing.  Let me go get another one"
 
2021-07-22 9:50:57 AM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Fissile: Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.

Seriously?  You just walked away?  You didn't go over to his house, punch a few keys and say, "There ya go." just to give him some peace of mind?  You just left the poor old guy hanging right out there on the street?


He's not poor.   I know, I set up his investment accounts for him on his computer.   His brother, how is much younger,  is also an engineer.  The brother knows computers.    He called his brother.   A few days later the old guy said to me, "I called my brother.  He told me those 'Microsoft' phone calls are a scam!"   Really?  I'm shocked, shocked.
 
2021-07-22 9:53:15 AM  

Geotpf: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Fissile: Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.

Seriously?  You just walked away?  You didn't go over to his house, punch a few keys and say, "There ya go." just to give him some peace of mind?  You just left the poor old guy hanging right out there on the street?

Old people who have fallen for a scam are like GQPers who are convinced the vaccine has mind control drugs in it.  Very hard to convince otherwise.


Who said anything about convincing him of anything?  I said, "punch a few keys and say 'there ya go'".  Isn't it better to take some stress off an a nice old guy than to walk away, smug in the knowledge that you know more about computers and scams than your geriatric neighbor?
 
2021-07-22 9:54:12 AM  
I f*cked around with the car warranty people once. Pretended to be really panicked and kept them on the line while I looked for my bank and card information. They hung up after a few minutes when it became clear I was giving them bogus info

Now, if I don't know your number I won't answer. Leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you
 
2021-07-22 9:54:27 AM  
I've started letting Google screen calls from numbers I don't know. They always hang up. I might start with the pen story, just for fun.
 
2021-07-22 9:54:43 AM  

waxbeans: Oneiros: waxbeans: Oneiros: Rev. Skarekroe: No, it's legit.
You just have to verify your SSN and send them an Amazon gift card as security deposit.

But I just got a call from Amazon yesterday, telling me that there had been a suspicious $729 charge on my account

I know it was really from Amazon, as they had a robotic voice, because they're cheap and don't pay their workers, so it makes sense they'd replace them with robots

I love the emails that threaten to suspend or lock this account or that account and I'm like okay go ahead thank you I appreciate that

I have a personal domain.  So any email claiming to be from the admin or account services or whatever would have to be from me.  But they still try.

Currently the ones that bug me is that somehow my phone number got associated with my address somehow, so I get a lot of phone calls and text messages from people wanting to buy my house. (As our county was #1 for profits in house flipping)

I know they're partially cribbed from the state's property records, because there's a typo in my name on the deed, and so they think my name is 'jospeph'.

Exactly.
I use a specific nickname for specific things I know are going to be spammy so what they send me spam with that nickname I don't even have to open the email it just goes immediately to delete.
And it works out perfectly when they figure out how to link my email with my phone number and they start sending me text messages and I'll text messages start with hey so and so and when they call me by that name I know exactly why they're doing it and that gets immediately reported a Spam too.

Only legitimate companies get my real name. And that's like five companies.


Unfortunately when my ISP changed to some outsourced spam filtering, it didn't handle comments correctly, and so broke all of the email addresses that I had given companies

Gmail will do it, though.

So if your email is '­u­ser[nospam-﹫-backwards]l­iamg­*c­om', you give them 'use­r+c­o­mp­any[nospam-﹫-backwards]liamg*c­o­m', setting the company part to whomever you're giving the address to
 
2021-07-22 9:54:43 AM  
My favorite spam calls (not texts, at least not yet) are the ones entirely in Chinese. I wonder what those are trying to accomplish. Let me tell you, one thing this scandihoovian Minnesotan is incapable of, is understanding Mandarin (or whatever it is they're speaking).
 
2021-07-22 9:55:12 AM  
The best ones are when they say there is a warrant out for your arrest and you need to provide payment to settle the matter.
 
2021-07-22 9:55:14 AM  

Fissile: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Fissile: Me:  {pointing at random houses in the 'hood}  Computer, computer, computer, computer.....

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so, besides they knew I had Windows

Me: 85% of desktops, laptops, tablets run some kind of software from Microsoft.  Pick any address at random and it likely contains a device, or multiple devices, running Microsoft software.

Old Neighbor:  Oh, I don't think so.  You coming over?

I just walked away at that point shaking my head.

Seriously?  You just walked away?  You didn't go over to his house, punch a few keys and say, "There ya go." just to give him some peace of mind?  You just left the poor old guy hanging right out there on the street?

He's not poor.   I know, I set up his investment accounts for him on his computer.   His brother, how is much younger,  is also an engineer.  The brother knows computers.    He called his brother.   A few days later the old guy said to me, "I called my brother.  He told me those 'Microsoft' phone calls are a scam!"   Really?  I'm shocked, shocked.


I didn't mean poor as in no money.  I meant poor as in, poor old guy who thinks his computer is messed up and when he asks his neighbor for help, that neighbor just walks away.
 
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