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(Vice)   Bank holds contest with college kids to find out who can make the highest quality deposit. Making ten deposits in one day doesn't count   (vice.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Sperm, Chinese sperm bank, Semen, Human Sperm Bank of Shanghai, highest sperm count, Fertility, sperm bank, Sexually transmitted disease  
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2590 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2021 at 1:05 PM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-07-21 12:50:59 PM  
What kind of bank, exactly?  Because one kind they'll be amazing at, and another kind would mean less ramen for dinner.
 
2021-07-21 12:51:50 PM  
...never mind.  That's what happens when I try and make a joke before I click only to find out TFA is about exactly the thing I was trying to crack wise about.

/I'll be in my bunk anyway.
 
2021-07-21 12:57:11 PM  
Standing ready with my ovaries for the egg contest.

*crickets*
 
2021-07-21 1:06:52 PM  
The Human Sperm Bank of Shanghai

Not to be confused with The Panda Sperm Bank.
 
2021-07-21 1:12:46 PM  
Bankjob
Youtube DiPBIJDJlas
 
2021-07-21 1:13:51 PM  
And here I thought Wells Fargo were the biggest jerkoffs.
 
2021-07-21 1:16:57 PM  
FTA...in order to promote reproductive health and recruit donors, who are offered up to $1,160 for replenishing the bank's supply.

i am going to need a little bit of time to replenish the bank's supply, i will be back in a few.
 
2021-07-21 1:19:54 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 1:20:36 PM  

WTP 2: FTA...in order to promote reproductive health and recruit donors, who are offered up to $1,160 for replenishing the bank's supply.

i am going to need a little bit of time to replenish the bank's supply, i will be back in a few.


Damn $1160 to fap? Sign me up like 20 times a week.
 
2021-07-21 1:21:07 PM  
"What do you believe qualifies you to be a sperm donor?"

Fark user imageView Full Size


"I never killed a man."


/probably the best movie scene ever to take place at a sperm bank
 
2021-07-21 1:22:56 PM  

Psychopusher: What kind of bank, exactly?  Because one kind they'll be amazing at, and another kind would mean less ramen for dinner.


Putting money in the bank means you have less money?
 
2021-07-21 1:25:45 PM  
Come one, come all.
 
2021-07-21 1:28:04 PM  
I mean, it's high quality but low pressure. Can they use some sort of suction or am I supposed to reach that cup?
 
2021-07-21 1:35:30 PM  
Got fired from the sperm bank for saying, "Get a load of this guy." every time someone walked in.
 
2021-07-21 1:39:31 PM  
Do they provide "help" or "customer service" in making deposits?
Would consider donating if they do.

/pay no attention to the fact I've had the snip snip
//mine could be free sample sperm
///comes in three!
 
2021-07-21 1:47:51 PM  
Fine, I'll get my vasectomy reversed.
 
2021-07-21 2:00:45 PM  
Step one: enter Chinese bank

Step two: ...

Step three: profit!
 
2021-07-21 2:01:13 PM  
I knocked up someone who had been tested many times and told she couldn't have kids. Does that count?
 
2021-07-21 2:02:22 PM  
Only bank where you make a deposit then lose interest


-Alan Zweibel
 
2021-07-21 2:06:41 PM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 2:12:27 PM  
My dr told me I have great sperm - it's in the top category for mobility and the other categories they score. Tastes great too!
 
2021-07-21 3:15:35 PM  
Is China really having a shortage of sperm though? Isn't the large male:female ratio there a huge problem?
 
2021-07-21 3:15:36 PM  

Spartapuss: I mean, it's high quality but low pressure. Can they use some sort of suction or am I supposed to reach that cup?


Actually.

Fark user imageView Full Size


/where can we buy one
 
2021-07-21 3:17:02 PM  

LOLITROLU: Is China really having a shortage of sperm though? Isn't the large male:female ratio there a huge problem?


Its crazy that China has 15% more males than females and yet... females dont want to do the dirty to get pregnant.

Or maybe a lot of them have a problem having kids because of pollution and they need IVF treatments? Who knows.
 
2021-07-21 3:22:46 PM  
Ah found the problem... as I thought, sperm banks in China are finding out that a lot of donors have shiatty sperm...

"Right now, only about 400 out of our 1,500 donors qualify for donation, about 27 per cent. In the beginning, the sperm quality rate was about 40 per cent," he said. Sperm quality is measured as acceptable if after freezing there are more than 12 million sperms per millilitre.

He believes it sends a message that the health of Chinese men is declining due to a variety of factors, including smoking, drinking, staying up late and a lack of exercise.


Theyre missing massive pollution... thing is, the same thing is happening in the west, sperm quality is decreasing.
 
2021-07-21 3:32:14 PM  

lolmao500: Spartapuss: I mean, it's high quality but low pressure. Can they use some sort of suction or am I supposed to reach that cup?

Actually.

[Fark user image 804x483]

/where can we buy one


That machine should only be allowed for people physically incapable, as in they're missing both arms or have other issues. Actually, in those cases a nice japanese nurse should help. I've seen it in a bunch of documentaries.

/hmm, then again saliva may spoil the sample
 
2021-07-21 3:42:40 PM  
In unrelated news, Chinese government building DNA databank of teenage citizens
 
2021-07-21 3:53:56 PM  

HighlanderRPI: In unrelated news, Chinese government building DNA databank of teenage citizens


Well they dont need that since theyre taking blood samples at birth for their dna databank.
 
2021-07-21 5:14:20 PM  

lolmao500: LOLITROLU: Is China really having a shortage of sperm though? Isn't the large male:female ratio there a huge problem?

Its crazy that China has 15% more males than females and yet... females dont want to do the dirty to get pregnant.


I think it's like they say about women looking to date men in Alaska, with a huge oversupply of males: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
 
2021-07-21 7:19:58 PM  

lolmao500: Spartapuss: I mean, it's high quality but low pressure. Can they use some sort of suction or am I supposed to reach that cup?

Actually.

[Fark user image 804x483]

/where can we buy one


d.newsweek.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 8:51:45 PM  

lolmao500: Spartapuss: I mean, it's high quality but low pressure. Can they use some sort of suction or am I supposed to reach that cup?

Actually.

[Fark user image 804x483]

/where can we buy one


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 10:39:33 PM  
Hand Job
Youtube w8z2b-Z3gSw
 
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