Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Whoever designed Mormon magic underwear was not a woman. "My vagina has to breathe"   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Temple garment, members of the Church of Jesus Christ, Joseph Smith, Jr., church members, Endowment, church culture, Sasha Piton, church's 96-year-old president  
•       •       •

5536 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jul 2021 at 1:43 PM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



220 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-07-21 1:05:14 PM  
?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?

I THOUGHT THE MAGIC UNDERWEAR SHIAT WAS A JOKE
 
2021-07-21 1:11:52 PM  
"People are scared to be brutally honest, to say: 'This isn't working for me. It isn't bringing me closer to Christ, it's giving me UTIs,'" Perez said.

-------------

One night, a Mormon woman had a dream.
She dreamed she was walking along a beach with the Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from her life.
For each scene, she noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to her and one belonging to the Lord.

After the last scene of her life flashed before her,
She looked back at the footprints in the sand.
She noticed that at many times along the path of her life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled her, so she asked the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I turned myself into an E. Coli colony
And hitched a ride in your urethra."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 1:44:25 PM  

puffy999: ?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?

I THOUGHT THE MAGIC UNDERWEAR SHIAT WAS A JOKE


lol no it aint
 
2021-07-21 1:46:56 PM  
Who could have ever imagined there would be downsides to joining a crazy cult?
 
2021-07-21 1:46:56 PM  
It's not really supposed to breathe that much, lest you have a bunch of embarrassing noises going on.
 
2021-07-21 1:47:48 PM  
Normally I would joke about how Breathing Vaginas would be an awesome band name, but this shiat is megafarked up.
 
2021-07-21 1:48:22 PM  
And your butt needs to floss.
 
2021-07-21 1:49:11 PM  
Women really are different, men breathe with their lungs.
 
2021-07-21 1:49:18 PM  

puffy999: ?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?

I THOUGHT THE MAGIC UNDERWEAR SHIAT WAS A JOKE


The "magic" part is a joke. The garments... are a joke, too, but in a different way.
 
2021-07-21 1:49:27 PM  

lolmao500: puffy999: ?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?

I THOUGHT THE MAGIC UNDERWEAR SHIAT WAS A JOKE

lol no it aint t'aint


FTFM

Besides, reality can be a joke.
 
2021-07-21 1:49:35 PM  

doctorguilty: Normally I would joke about how Breathing Vaginas would be an awesome band name, but this shiat is megafarked up.


Pussycat Dolls tribute band?
 
2021-07-21 1:50:18 PM  
The discomfort and the lack of consideration for the female anatomy is the point.
 
2021-07-21 1:50:43 PM  

puffy999: ?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!? I THOUGHT THE MAGIC UNDERWEAR SHIAT WAS A JOKE


It's real. Mitt Romney and the Golden Plates outside should have told you so.
Magic Mormon Underwear
Youtube 6cbfgmorIGE
 
2021-07-21 1:50:45 PM  
Maybe it's just me, but I suspect the reason for those "temple garments" wasn't about comfort.

Most religions are about self-flagellation.
 
2021-07-21 1:51:03 PM  
The mormon church is one step away from forcing women to wear a hijab.
 
2021-07-21 1:51:15 PM  
Most religions just have silly hats. Silly underwear is really taking things to another level.
 
2021-07-21 1:51:25 PM  

BorgiaGinz: Women really are different, men breathe with their lungs.


Hey, swamp-ass is no joke!
 
2021-07-21 1:51:33 PM  

BorgiaGinz: Women really are different, men breathe with their lungs.


We have four holes down there.
 
2021-07-21 1:52:20 PM  
Maybe some type of vagina snorkel would work?

/not at all like the double frogman
 
2021-07-21 1:53:40 PM  
That begs the question, which part of Mormonism *were* designed by a woman?

/I think I'm using "begs the question" correctly here
//pretty sure
 
2021-07-21 1:53:59 PM  
Isn't wearing sacred underwear kind of idolitry?  I mean, God hates idolitry, but you'd think He'd REALLY hate idolizing underwear.  SMDH
 
2021-07-21 1:55:16 PM  
If your belief system is up in your underwear or your diet, it is more than a belief system.
 
2021-07-21 1:55:44 PM  
Breathe deep
 
2021-07-21 1:56:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 1:56:41 PM  
If just some random person described religious beliefs and practices that were the same as Mormonism, you'd say they were in a cult and needed to be deprogammed.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is proof that if a cult hangs around long enough, they'll soon be taken seriously.
 
2021-07-21 1:58:09 PM  
If you're in a religion where God is that worried about yo draws please quit. Life is much to short for this bs.
 
2021-07-21 1:58:33 PM  
Oh, I'm afraid the magic underware shield will be quite operational when your peen arrives.
 
2021-07-21 1:58:51 PM  

rosekolodny: BorgiaGinz: Women really are different, men breathe with their lungs.

We have four holes down there.


Picard: there are three holes!

/not a doctor so I may be wrong
 
2021-07-21 1:58:55 PM  
Right--not designed by a woman but was married to a lot of women.

/Why, that's bigamy.
 
2021-07-21 1:59:07 PM  

skyotter: //pretty sure


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 2:00:31 PM  
> chronic yeast infections caused by fabric that does not breathe. "It's sacred,"

Sacred yeast makes the best sacrament bread.
 
2021-07-21 2:01:33 PM  
Ummmm... That's not how the human respiratory system works as far as I know.

I mean, I'm a polesmoker so am not exactly familiar with this particular structure, but pretty sure I know at least this much.
 
2021-07-21 2:02:18 PM  

Discordulator: puffy999: ?!!?!!?!!?!!?!!?

I THOUGHT THE MAGIC UNDERWEAR SHIAT WAS A JOKE

The "magic" part is a joke. The garments... are a joke, too, but in a different way.


They're just cut-off union suits.  Because they are still trapped emotionally in the late 19th century.

Even though Joseph Smith would have gone commando during the summer months, as was popular with lower-brow individuals at that time.  Full drawers during the winter.
 
2021-07-21 2:03:03 PM  

jake_lex: If just some random person described religious beliefs and practices that were the same as Mormonism, you'd say they were in a cult and needed to be deprogammed.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is proof that if a cult hangs around long enough, they'll soon be taken seriously.


It helps if you amass shiat-tons of money.
 
2021-07-21 2:03:56 PM  
You follow a "faith" whose founder is historically depicted as a con man, you deserve whatever bad happens to you as a result.
 
2021-07-21 2:05:23 PM  

skyotter: That begs the question, which part of Mormonism *were* designed by a woman?

/I think I'm using "begs the question" correctly here
//pretty sure


I'm sure a religion where women can only get into the highest level of heaven if their husband invites them is in no way sexist.
 
2021-07-21 2:05:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 2:05:49 PM  

rosekolodny: BorgiaGinz: Women really are different, men breathe with their lungs.

We have four holes down there.


Am I stupid? I thought it was three.
 
2021-07-21 2:06:08 PM  

cryinoutloud: It's not really supposed to breathe that much, lest you have a bunch of embarrassing noises going on.


Username checks out.
 
2021-07-21 2:07:07 PM  

JesseL: Who could have ever imagined there would be downsides to joining a crazy cult?


EVERY religion began as a small crazy sect or cult.

the solution is not to join ANY of them.

treat others as you want to be treated. try be to generous and fair. learn to think critically and have a mind of your own. embrace curiosity and enjoy the natural world. understand that the world around you is always changing in some way or another. and you'll be fine.

you can have a great life, no religion required. cult membership DEFINITELY not required.
 
2021-07-21 2:08:32 PM  

rosekolodny: BorgiaGinz: Women really are different, men breathe with their lungs.

We have four holes down there.


I think you need to be examined by a doctor. It just so happens I am a gynecologist and my office is in a van so I can drive to you.
 
2021-07-21 2:08:45 PM  

whidbey: jake_lex: If just some random person described religious beliefs and practices that were the same as Mormonism, you'd say they were in a cult and needed to be deprogammed.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is proof that if a cult hangs around long enough, they'll soon be taken seriously.

It helps if you amass shiat-tons of money.



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 2:09:22 PM  
I guess that's the Mormon female equivalent of a "hair shirt" like Thomas More used to wear.
 
2021-07-21 2:10:49 PM  

Yellow Beard: I think you need to be examined by a doctor. It just so happens I am a gynecologist and my office is in a van so I can drive to you.


Maybe she's counting the cervix entrance as a hole...
 
2021-07-21 2:11:28 PM  
That's fine, just give it a breath mint ever so often
 
2021-07-21 2:11:39 PM  
Does this change the CPR procedure?
 
2021-07-21 2:12:29 PM  

skyotter: That begs the question, which part of Mormonism *were* designed by a woman?

/I think I'm using "begs the question" correctly here
//pretty sure


Nope.  I had to learn this one recently.

stancarey.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 2:12:36 PM  
"I made the universe in six days, you think I'm drawing the line at the deli underwear isle?"

-God, probably
 
2021-07-21 2:12:58 PM  

doctorguilty: Normally I would joke about how Breathing Vaginas would be an awesome band name, but this shiat is megafarked up.


Megafarked Up is the name of my heavy metal/trance music cover band.
 
2021-07-21 2:13:08 PM  

Yellow Beard: rosekolodny: BorgiaGinz: Women really are different, men breathe with their lungs.

We have four holes down there.

I think you need to be examined by a doctor. It just so happens I am a gynecologist and my office is in a van so I can drive to you.


You have to blow into all of them to figure out which one is for breathing.
 
Displayed 50 of 220 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.