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(Axios)   Your frat brother who can't find work with his MBA needs a gig? Chief Purpose Officer   (axios.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Tuck School of Business, Dartmouth College, Business school, Sociology, Economic inequality, Social issues, Climate change, Racism  
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649 clicks; posted to Business » on 21 Jul 2021 at 10:54 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



19 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-07-21 9:57:24 AM  
Companies create positions like "chief diversity officer" and this one as symbolic figureheads while the rest of the company continues to do its thing.

To put it another way, what authority would a "chief purpose officer" have over the logistics department to ensure that no child or slave labor is used? What authority would the CPO have over HR to ensure that enough people of minority groups are hired? What authority would the CPO have over the product team to ensure that nothing is used that will hurt the environment?

If the CPO has no real authority and cannot directly order changes, then that position is useless.
 
2021-07-21 10:44:07 AM  
And "purpose officers should be embedded in all parts of the organization," Mitchell says, like marketing, sales and government relations, so they can ensure the company's day-to-day business is in line with its stated values.

So, an entire department dedicated to the bullshiat artists.
 
2021-07-21 11:14:31 AM  

bostonguy: Companies create positions like "chief diversity officer" and this one as symbolic figureheads while the rest of the company continues to do its thing.

To put it another way, what authority would a "chief purpose officer" have over the logistics department to ensure that no child or slave labor is used? What authority would the CPO have over HR to ensure that enough people of minority groups are hired? What authority would the CPO have over the product team to ensure that nothing is used that will hurt the environment?

If the CPO has no real authority and cannot directly order changes, then that position is useless.


They're probably completely useless figurehead positions, and so long as the pay is decent I'll take one
 
2021-07-21 11:25:46 AM  

bostonguy: Companies create positions like "chief diversity officer" and this one as symbolic figureheads while the rest of the company continues to do its thing.

To put it another way, what authority would a "chief purpose officer" have over the logistics department to ensure that no child or slave labor is used? What authority would the CPO have over HR to ensure that enough people of minority groups are hired? What authority would the CPO have over the product team to ensure that nothing is used that will hurt the environment?

If the CPO has no real authority and cannot directly order changes, then that position is useless.


QFT
 
2021-07-21 11:31:18 AM  
And "purpose officers should be embedded in all parts of the organization," Mitchell says, like marketing, sales and government relations, so they can ensure the company's day-to-day business is in line with its stated values.

Sounds like the Russian political commissars who were embedded in the military to make sure everybody stayed loyal and obedient.
 
2021-07-21 11:42:52 AM  
Chief Porpoise?

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2021-07-21 12:04:30 PM  

jjorsett: Sounds like the Russian political commissars who were embedded in the military to make sure everybody stayed loyal and obedient.


And in the future, political officers are also where every man has gone before.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-21 12:40:49 PM  

TDWCom29: bostonguy: Companies create positions like "chief diversity officer" and this one as symbolic figureheads while the rest of the company continues to do its thing.

To put it another way, what authority would a "chief purpose officer" have over the logistics department to ensure that no child or slave labor is used? What authority would the CPO have over HR to ensure that enough people of minority groups are hired? What authority would the CPO have over the product team to ensure that nothing is used that will hurt the environment?

If the CPO has no real authority and cannot directly order changes, then that position is useless.

They're probably completely useless figurehead positions, and so long as the pay is decent I'll take one


Fark user imageView Full Size


Usually they don't come in the C-- level, but here we are.
 
2021-07-21 12:42:52 PM  

TDWCom29: bostonguy: Companies create positions like "chief diversity officer" and this one as symbolic figureheads while the rest of the company continues to do its thing.

To put it another way, what authority would a "chief purpose officer" have over the logistics department to ensure that no child or slave labor is used? What authority would the CPO have over HR to ensure that enough people of minority groups are hired? What authority would the CPO have over the product team to ensure that nothing is used that will hurt the environment?

If the CPO has no real authority and cannot directly order changes, then that position is useless.

They're probably completely useless figurehead positions, and so long as the pay is decent I'll take one


I get emails for a place looking for a People and Culture manager, sounds like a place where I could do no damage and make a decent wage.
 
2021-07-21 12:56:24 PM  

TDWCom29: bostonguy: Companies create positions like "chief diversity officer" and this one as symbolic figureheads while the rest of the company continues to do its thing.

To put it another way, what authority would a "chief purpose officer" have over the logistics department to ensure that no child or slave labor is used? What authority would the CPO have over HR to ensure that enough people of minority groups are hired? What authority would the CPO have over the product team to ensure that nothing is used that will hurt the environment?

If the CPO has no real authority and cannot directly order changes, then that position is useless.

They're probably completely useless figurehead positions, and so long as the pay is decent I'll take one


The only requirement is to generate many, many inspirational Powerpoint presentations on the subject of "Purpose".

This website may come in handy:
despair.com
 
2021-07-21 2:15:07 PM  
This feels like another quarterly attestation.
 
2021-07-21 2:39:40 PM  

TDWCom29: bostonguy: Companies create positions like "chief diversity officer" and this one as symbolic figureheads while the rest of the company continues to do its thing.

To put it another way, what authority would a "chief purpose officer" have over the logistics department to ensure that no child or slave labor is used? What authority would the CPO have over HR to ensure that enough people of minority groups are hired? What authority would the CPO have over the product team to ensure that nothing is used that will hurt the environment?

If the CPO has no real authority and cannot directly order changes, then that position is useless.

They're probably completely useless figurehead positions, and so long as the pay is decent I'll take one


"Hi Louise, thank you again for taking on this important new role. You will still be responsible for your KPIs as a senior manager as well continuing to lead your team.  The mandate for the new role is to simply send out a company wide email every quarter to remind employees of this new objective.  A stripped down version of the email should also be posted to LinkedIn.  Please see Jeff in marketing as he has the templates we would like you to use."
 
2021-07-21 2:41:33 PM  
"People truly don't want to show up to their jobs and just get a paycheck anymore," Schuyler says. Employees, especially younger ones, will even quit if they don't feel a sense of purpose at work, she says.


Uhh. False. A paycheck is literally the one singular reason why I am selling a part of my time on this earth to do your menial task. This sounds like the "purpose officer" is part of the whole scheme to offer pizza parties and snack bars to avoid paying workers enough to pay for the car they use to get to work, and the house/apartment they leave vacant while they commute two hours and spend 9 hours (one hour unpaid) at work.
 
2021-07-21 2:47:51 PM  
A place I worked at years ago was an NGO and they had a bunch of BS jobs that executives gave to their golf buddies wives or some politicians idiot kid. One lady had a job to pick out a new table for a meeting room, she took so long and broke the budget for this stupid table and they had issues installing it and she messed up on the measurements. She always managed to piss off a lot of people with her ideas and make a lot of work for us.
 
2021-07-21 2:58:25 PM  

groppet: A place I worked at years ago was an NGO and they had a bunch of BS jobs that executives gave to their golf buddies wives or some politicians idiot kid.


I seem to recall that there's some website that shows how much various non-profit orgs spend on overhead and salaries versus actually helping people.

Sure, people need to get paid for their work. But if people knew what percentage of their donations go towards that and how much goes towards helping people sometimes, they'd be shocked. (Or not.)
 
2021-07-21 3:01:29 PM  

Secret Troll Alt: "People truly don't want to show up to their jobs and just get a paycheck anymore," Schuyler says. Employees, especially younger ones, will even quit if they don't feel a sense of purpose at work, she says.


Uhh. False. A paycheck is literally the one singular reason why I am selling a part of my time on this earth to do your menial task. This sounds like the "purpose officer" is part of the whole scheme to offer pizza parties and snack bars to avoid paying workers enough to pay for the car they use to get to work, and the house/apartment they leave vacant while they commute two hours and spend 9 hours (one hour unpaid) at work.


You'd think so. I just spent the last week pouring over text about the importance of company culture, social responsibility, and spirituality (sense of purpose) for a class. Most of this theory is about how to be a successful company. Most companies will never scratch the surface of being successful, so there is a bit of disconnect from reality.
 
2021-07-21 3:04:30 PM  

Secret Troll Alt: "People truly don't want to show up to their jobs and just get a paycheck anymore," Schuyler says. Employees, especially younger ones, will even quit if they don't feel a sense of purpose at work, she says.


That is where I would ask: "Where is the evidence for that assertion?"
 
2021-07-21 3:21:54 PM  

bostonguy: Secret Troll Alt: "People truly don't want to show up to their jobs and just get a paycheck anymore," Schuyler says. Employees, especially younger ones, will even quit if they don't feel a sense of purpose at work, she says.

That is where I would ask: "Where is the evidence for that assertion?"


Someone on the features copy desk has a son who knows someone who said it.

That was why one place I worked at ran a people are fleeing California piece twice a year for the entirety of my time there.
 
2021-07-22 7:00:27 AM  

bostonguy: Secret Troll Alt: "People truly don't want to show up to their jobs and just get a paycheck anymore," Schuyler says. Employees, especially younger ones, will even quit if they don't feel a sense of purpose at work, she says.

That is where I would ask: "Where is the evidence for that assertion?"


Translated it says "people are willing to quit a job they dislike in greater numbers than they used. Better make sure people like their job"

Which is a statement I will accept at face value.
 
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