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(4Utah.com)   Naked man enters church with around 100 people inside, knocks over sacrament tray. Police finally catch him by the organ   (abc4.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Police, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 40-year-old Jeremy David Miller, LDS church, Police dispatchers, Curse, Nudity, Shout  
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1613 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2021 at 10:05 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-07-20 9:19:27 AM  
Multiple witnesses at the church told officers they were terrified that there was about to be a shooting at the church.

Well if he was naked where do you think the gun was?

/you don't wanna know
 
2021-07-20 9:28:53 AM  

Walker: Well if he was naked where do you think the gun was?


Carried by the jealous husband in pursuit?
 
2021-07-20 9:54:02 AM  
He must have done a little too much LDS.
 
2021-07-20 10:06:46 AM  
Just looking for his sister wives.
 
2021-07-20 10:11:02 AM  
Well, by the angel Moroni, if you're going to go to LSD church, what kind of behavior do you think you're going to find?
 
2021-07-20 10:11:28 AM  

Walker: Multiple witnesses at the church told officers they were terrified that there was about to be a shooting at the church.

Well if he was naked where do you think the gun was?

/you don't wanna know


i guarantee you they were more terrified of having to explain to their children why the man has a shabinky than the prospect of being shot
 
2021-07-20 10:11:40 AM  

Walker: Well if he was naked where do you think the gun was?


Never seen the dick cannon from Tokyo Gore Police?
 
2021-07-20 10:17:15 AM  
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Works 2 out of 3 times.
 
2021-07-20 10:19:51 AM  
lewdness involving a child,

I mean, yeah, you shouldnt be running around naked causing a ruckus and whatnot but our insane paranoia about nudity in this country is embarrassing. Simply seeing a nude person is now a lewd act.
 
2021-07-20 10:22:40 AM  
He should have at least sported some sacred undergarments.
 
2021-07-20 10:24:05 AM  
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"Oooh! Nice organ!"
 
2021-07-20 10:28:39 AM  
Must be one of those "Jeep Things" that we wouldn't understand
 
2021-07-20 10:29:48 AM  
Don't look, Ethel!
 
2021-07-20 10:29:49 AM  
Did they at least tell him to please go back to naked land?
 
2021-07-20 10:35:57 AM  
Bravo subby. HOTY nominee.
 
2021-07-20 10:37:33 AM  
LDS on LSD.
 
2021-07-20 10:48:34 AM  
I mean...who HASN'T wanted to dip their balls in holywater?  Amirite?  G-guys?
 
2021-07-20 10:51:32 AM  
That nothing!  You should see what they do to the ones wearing clothes!
 
2021-07-20 10:52:44 AM  
well... Hasa Diga  Eebowai
 
2021-07-20 11:03:11 AM  

guestguy: I mean...who HASN'T wanted to dip their balls in holywater?  Amirite?  G-guys?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-20 11:06:44 AM  
No indication of how he managed to fit 100 people inside, nor whether it was one at a time or simultaneously. NTTAWWI.
 
2021-07-20 11:22:39 AM  

aremmes: No indication of how he managed to fit 100 people inside, nor whether it was one at a time or simultaneously. NTTAWWI.


I was JUST going to question that. How did he fit 100 people inside himself? Goatse to the extreme?
 
2021-07-20 11:28:10 AM  

MrBallou: Bravo subby. HOTY nominee.


I second this nomination

/ all in favor ...
 
2021-07-20 11:34:14 AM  

Schmerd1948: Well, by the angel Moroni, if you're going to go to LSD church, what kind of behavior do you think you're going to find?



Just deport the angel to Sweden.
 
2021-07-20 11:36:41 AM  

cfreak: MrBallou: Bravo subby. HOTY nominee.

I second this nomination

/ all in favor ...



For a headline that uses an ancient joke? Why?
 
2021-07-20 11:57:14 AM  
Yeah, naked. That's gonna happen sometimes.

If you think about it, naked is really more likely to occur than not naked .

You gotta get up even earlier to put clothes on.  That just adds time and inconvenience to an already easy, natural existence.

We need more articles that celebrate the positive aspects of effort expended in adulthood, rather than the obvious negatives of people who just couldn't be bothered to put on pants one day.

If each of us just took the time everyday to complement random people about their daily attire, why, nudity would cease within our lifetimes.

I therefore propose a congressional committee be formed to study the effects of clothing. We can use stimulus money because the largest portion of our population is more stimulating when fully clothed.
 
2021-07-20 12:06:02 PM  
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St. George is pretty nice. Except for the Mormon thing. And being in Utah.
 
2021-07-20 12:07:17 PM  
What a bunch of wussies.
Also, water? LDS does water as a sacrimental drink?
Again, wussies.
 
2021-07-20 12:28:53 PM  
You'd think they'd follow the third practice of charity as described on the Sermon on the Mount instead of calling the police.
 
2021-07-20 12:36:47 PM  
Easy on the Vox Dei, old chap.
 
2021-07-20 12:47:32 PM  

Lady J: Easy on the Vox Dei, old chap.


oook!
 
2021-07-20 1:05:15 PM  
"By the organ", huh?
I'll bet the rector was right there too.
 
2021-07-20 1:05:41 PM  
How many Becky's does it take to become naked in a church?
 
2021-07-20 3:13:19 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-20 3:21:19 PM  

buckeyebrain: [i.imgur.com image 245x220] [View Full Size image _x_]


I was hoping to see Bender's epic crawl!
 
2021-07-20 4:12:57 PM  
What's better than roses on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
 
2021-07-21 7:16:48 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: cfreak: MrBallou: Bravo subby. HOTY nominee.

I second this nomination

/ all in favor ...


For a headline that uses an ancient joke? Why?


They say that if Adam came back to Earth today, the only thing he'd recognize would be the jokes.
 
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