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(The Takeout)   Subway tries-and fails-to give away one million free subs. Maybe - just maybe - there's hope for humanity after all   (thetakeout.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Submarine sandwich, Subway, Fast food, Fast Food Nation, Hamburger, Quiznos, free-sub promotion, 6-inch Turkey Cali Fresh  
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711 clicks; posted to Food » on 20 Jul 2021 at 10:35 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-07-20 9:54:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
zez
2021-07-20 10:52:23 AM  

ralphjr: [Fark user image image 425x424]


FTA
"Did you ever have that bad dream where you had a party and no one showed up?"
 
2021-07-20 10:59:15 AM  
There is a Subway less than a mile from my apartment. I never go. Haven't been in 2-3 years.
 
2021-07-20 11:02:25 AM  

zez: "Did you ever have that bad dream where you had a party and no one showed up?"


CSB.  When I was 16-17 (70s) a friends parents were leaving town for the weekend.  So, party time!  3 of us pooled our money and bought 2 cases of Schlitz malt talls.  That night we're sitting around drinking wondering when people would start showing up.  An hour later we're sitting around drinking and started talking.  Robert:  "Mike, who did you invite?".  "Um, you wanted to keep it small so I thought you'd invite everyone".  Oh.  Robert: "Snot, who did you invite?".  "Um, you wanted to keep it small so I thought you'd invite everyone".  Oh.  Us:  "So, who did you invite?"  "I thought you two would invite people and I wanted to keep it small so....".

We did our best to drink those beers but, being teenagers, after 2-3 each we were passing out.  Robert's brother came home, gave Mike and I a ride home, invited his friends over, and had what was from all accounts a great party with our beer.
 
2021-07-20 11:07:15 AM  

Snotnose: zez: "Did you ever have that bad dream where you had a party and no one showed up?"

CSB.  When I was 16-17 (70s) a friends parents were leaving town for the weekend.  So, party time!  3 of us pooled our money and bought 2 cases of Schlitz malt talls.  That night we're sitting around drinking wondering when people would start showing up.  An hour later we're sitting around drinking and started talking.  Robert:  "Mike, who did you invite?".  "Um, you wanted to keep it small so I thought you'd invite everyone".  Oh.  Robert: "Snot, who did you invite?".  "Um, you wanted to keep it small so I thought you'd invite everyone".  Oh.  Us:  "So, who did you invite?"  "I thought you two would invite people and I wanted to keep it small so....".

We did our best to drink those beers but, being teenagers, after 2-3 each we were passing out.  Robert's brother came home, gave Mike and I a ride home, invited his friends over, and had what was from all accounts a great party with our beer.


Definitely worth your time to post, and mine to read.

/butt knot
 
2021-07-20 11:30:56 AM  
I stopped going to Subway when Subway stopped serving sandwiches. It's been a long time.
 
2021-07-20 11:30:59 AM  
Did they forget to advertise this? I would've taken a free sub.
 
2021-07-20 11:34:09 AM  
Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is
 
2021-07-20 11:36:17 AM  

mekkab: Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is


It's not a sandwich. It's a goddamned eclair. It's a sweet, airy pastry without any substance whatsoever, filled with everything from overly-preserved vegetables to congealed protein & starch slurries masquerading as meat. They worked hard to cheapen every single goddamned ingredient that they could while maintaining the appearance.
 
2021-07-20 11:39:40 AM  

FormlessOne: They worked hard to cheapen every single goddamned ingredient that they could while maintaining the appearance.


Done in one (response).
 
2021-07-20 11:39:42 AM  

ABQGOD: Did they forget to advertise this? I would've taken a free sub.


I probably would have as well. It's been years since I've been to Subway, but I would have checked out their new stuff if it were free. Believe me, I've eaten much, much worse than Subway.
 
2021-07-20 11:40:59 AM  

FormlessOne: mekkab: Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is

It's not a sandwich. It's a goddamned eclair. It's a sweet, airy pastry without any substance whatsoever, filled with everything from overly-preserved vegetables to congealed protein & starch slurries masquerading as meat. They worked hard to cheapen every single goddamned ingredient that they could while maintaining the appearance.


LOL, please tell me more about the "overly processed vegetables."
 
2021-07-20 12:01:32 PM  
Hmmm. Talking about free Subway makes me want to go pay for a Jimmy John's.
 
2021-07-20 12:16:34 PM  

mekkab: Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is


the implication.
 
2021-07-20 12:50:55 PM  
You know your shiat is farked when you can't even give it away.
 
2021-07-20 1:19:25 PM  

raytracer: Hmmm. Talking about free Subway makes me want to go pay for a Jimmy John's.


Evidently you don't have a Publix
 
2021-07-20 1:39:49 PM  

duckpoopy: FormlessOne: mekkab: Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is

It's not a sandwich. It's a goddamned eclair. It's a sweet, airy pastry without any substance whatsoever, filled with everything from overly-preserved vegetables to congealed protein & starch slurries masquerading as meat. They worked hard to cheapen every single goddamned ingredient that they could while maintaining the appearance.

LOL, please tell me more about the "overly processed vegetables."


"But..but they cut the green peppers and cucumbers in a hand powered machines... thats SO processed!"

Yeah Subway sucks, and the tomatoes are usually flavorless mush, but every other veggie is just a regular veggie. All the nutritional value of regular veggies too, so if your sandwich is void of nutrients, it's because you ordered it that way.
 
2021-07-20 1:53:28 PM  
Subway Commercial 2021 - (USA)
Youtube 9jT3pz_fjZQ

That's a lotta Toona !
 
2021-07-20 2:35:32 PM  

tjsands1118: duckpoopy: FormlessOne: mekkab: Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is

It's not a sandwich. It's a goddamned eclair. It's a sweet, airy pastry without any substance whatsoever, filled with everything from overly-preserved vegetables to congealed protein & starch slurries masquerading as meat. They worked hard to cheapen every single goddamned ingredient that they could while maintaining the appearance.

LOL, please tell me more about the "overly processed vegetables."

"But..but they cut the green peppers and cucumbers in a hand powered machines... thats SO processed!"

Yeah Subway sucks, and the tomatoes are usually flavorless mush, but every other veggie is just a regular veggie. All the nutritional value of regular veggies too, so if your sandwich is void of nutrients, it's because you ordered it that way.


I like how neither of you noticed the original sentence was "overly-preserved vegetables", not processed.
 
2021-07-20 2:50:47 PM  

ABQGOD: Did they forget to advertise this? I would've taken a free sub.


Yeah I would've grabbed one too. Even a Subway and the Subway that remains open near me is about the size of a large closet and refused to heat bacon for a BLT ( I am not eating cold pre-cooked bacon ). It's a terrible place, went once and walked out w/o ordering on account of the bacon thing. I still would've taken a free sandwich if I had known. I knew nothing.

/ Much like Subway corporate.
 
2021-07-20 3:29:57 PM  
Awwww. I kinda feel bad for them. The franchisees that try, at least. Not corporate.
 
2021-07-20 3:45:36 PM  

solokumba: raytracer: Hmmm. Talking about free Subway makes me want to go pay for a Jimmy John's.

Evidently you don't have a Publix


Nope. Or Scheetz. Last time I was in FL, I seem to recall they had pretty good sammiches. We do have Mr. Goodcents, a local chain which used to be good. Haven't been in forever.

I don't eat a lot of subs. My last deli sandwich was a Romano from Carollo's. http://carollositaliangroc​ery.com/
 
2021-07-20 3:53:32 PM  
wow, Onstad really had a hard on for subway...

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/also I have to wonder if the million sub march thing failed 'cos they wanted the franchises to pay for the "free" subs
 
2021-07-20 4:11:16 PM  

trialpha: I like how neither of you noticed the original sentence was "overly-preserved vegetables", not processed.


forget it, they're rolling.
 
2021-07-20 4:46:29 PM  

ABQGOD: Did they forget to advertise this? I would've taken a free sub.


Yeah, there were signs all over their stores.  Didn't you see them?

I didn't, don't even know where/if they advertised.
 
2021-07-20 4:53:56 PM  

natazha: ABQGOD: Did they forget to advertise this? I would've taken a free sub.

Yeah, there were signs all over their stores.  Didn't you see them?

I didn't, don't even know where/if they advertised.


I have not looked directly at a Subway store in years. I will recognize that one is physically there, but I would not focus on any signs on it, much less read them.

Of course, even if someone was standing outside shouting that free sandwiches were inside, there is a 99% chance that I would continue walking. (I figure the 1% is in case I was starving AND the person shouting was really convincing)
 
2021-07-20 5:21:46 PM  

trialpha: tjsands1118: duckpoopy: FormlessOne: mekkab: Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is

It's not a sandwich. It's a goddamned eclair. It's a sweet, airy pastry without any substance whatsoever, filled with everything from overly-preserved vegetables to congealed protein & starch slurries masquerading as meat. They worked hard to cheapen every single goddamned ingredient that they could while maintaining the appearance.

LOL, please tell me more about the "overly processed vegetables."

"But..but they cut the green peppers and cucumbers in a hand powered machines... thats SO processed!"

Yeah Subway sucks, and the tomatoes are usually flavorless mush, but every other veggie is just a regular veggie. All the nutritional value of regular veggies too, so if your sandwich is void of nutrients, it's because you ordered it that way.

I like how neither of you noticed the original sentence was "overly-preserved vegetables", not processed.


It's why I didn't bother saying anything. No point, really.
 
2021-07-20 8:38:47 PM  
Subway is the best road food there is. I said it and stand by it.

I've road tripped extensively, and the more back road the better. Any town with more than 2,000 residents has a Subway, even the ones that DON'T have a McD (we'll come back to that).
Do you have to be picky about what you eat? Of course, don't be a fool...
I have never and would never consider having a tuna salad sandwich from a Subway, and this predates the most recent debacle by decades. A whole wheat, ham (or other popular cured meat product) sando with a careful selection of raw ingredients will feed you well, consistently and cheaply.

People who bag on Subway eat gas station sandwiches, or pull into McD's instead without compunction... these are the people who have it all farked up. Not my problem...

Do I eat Subway when I'm at home? Hell no! I go 100 yards to a real deli and get a real sandwich for a couple of dollars more. The difference is that I live in civilization.
 
2021-07-20 8:42:58 PM  

FormlessOne: trialpha: tjsands1118: duckpoopy: FormlessOne: mekkab: Last week I was waiting at the Veterinarians, and one vet tech said to the other "I'm going to Subway, you want me to pick you up a sandwich?" and the other tech said "No."

I felt so proud for that second tech!  Regardless of the reason.

/because we all know what the real reason is

It's not a sandwich. It's a goddamned eclair. It's a sweet, airy pastry without any substance whatsoever, filled with everything from overly-preserved vegetables to congealed protein & starch slurries masquerading as meat. They worked hard to cheapen every single goddamned ingredient that they could while maintaining the appearance.

LOL, please tell me more about the "overly processed vegetables."

"But..but they cut the green peppers and cucumbers in a hand powered machines... thats SO processed!"

Yeah Subway sucks, and the tomatoes are usually flavorless mush, but every other veggie is just a regular veggie. All the nutritional value of regular veggies too, so if your sandwich is void of nutrients, it's because you ordered it that way.

I like how neither of you noticed the original sentence was "overly-preserved vegetables", not processed.

It's why I didn't bother saying anything. No point, really.


Just to ask, how does one "overly preserve" lettuce, bell pepper, cucumber, spinach, etc... much less pepperoncini, pickles, olives, etc? I'd be more concerned that they are properly washed. *shrug*
 
2021-07-20 9:36:35 PM  

Percise1: Subway is the best road food there is. I said it and stand by it.

I've road tripped extensively, and the more back road the better. Any town with more than 2,000 residents has a Subway, even the ones that DON'T have a McD (we'll come back to that).
Do you have to be picky about what you eat? Of course, don't be a fool...
I have never and would never consider having a tuna salad sandwich from a Subway, and this predates the most recent debacle by decades. A whole wheat, ham (or other popular cured meat product) sando with a careful selection of raw ingredients will feed you well, consistently and cheaply.

People who bag on Subway eat gas station sandwiches, or pull into McD's instead without compunction... these are the people who have it all farked up. Not my problem...

Do I eat Subway when I'm at home? Hell no! I go 100 yards to a real deli and get a real sandwich for a couple of dollars more. The difference is that I live in civilization.


this guy gets it. altho' lord love a duck if'n you can actually stand their "fresh" "bread"

only thing worth having there is a cold cut trio or eye-talian/bmt thingy. preserved/processed vegetals remain dealer's-choice, as always.

and, agreed, recent toona thread regardless, just DO NOT. do never.

me, 10 years ago I'd go to the one in my rural Cape Cod 1-horse town when they had a sale/promo, and get their egg-pucks in a "flatbread" footlong wrap. plenty o' mayo, crizappy-"cheese" under the salamander, and tomato + iceberg shreds. it's been so long I forget if they also did raw onyon.

/the egg-pucks also come in "scrambled" lol.
 
2021-07-20 10:52:02 PM  
I would rather eat at a farking olive garden. On a Sunday. With multiple kids birthdays. After church. In the south.
 
2021-07-20 10:55:28 PM  

Percise1: Subway is the best road food there is. I said it and stand by it.

I've road tripped extensively, and the more back road the better. Any town with more than 2,000 residents has a Subway, even the ones that DON'T have a McD (we'll come back to that).
Do you have to be picky about what you eat? Of course, don't be a fool...
I have never and would never consider having a tuna salad sandwich from a Subway, and this predates the most recent debacle by decades. A whole wheat, ham (or other popular cured meat product) sando with a careful selection of raw ingredients will feed you well, consistently and cheaply.

People who bag on Subway eat gas station sandwiches, or pull into McD's instead without compunction... these are the people who have it all farked up. Not my problem...

Do I eat Subway when I'm at home? Hell no! I go 100 yards to a real deli and get a real sandwich for a couple of dollars more. The difference is that I live in civilization.


I'll admit, I chuckled. But dude, are you getting, um, crankier lately?
 
2021-07-20 11:23:10 PM  

NINEv2: I would rather eat at a farking olive garden. On a Sunday. With multiple kids birthdays. After church. In the south.


feel like I've inflicted this more than once, but hey why not - that time my wife's childhood-friend's mother got a rusty coathook in her water at Olive Garden. personally I put blame squah on the mother, but I weren't there so who knows what her horrible dynamic with their waitstaff (my sympathy is 100% towards the servers there, my smart-money is entirely against the mother)

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-20 11:28:23 PM  

tintar: NINEv2: I would rather eat at a farking olive garden. On a Sunday. With multiple kids birthdays. After church. In the south.

feel like I've inflicted this more than once, but hey why not - that time my wife's childhood-friend's mother got a rusty coathook in her water at Olive Garden. personally I put blame squah on the mother, but I weren't there so who knows what her horrible dynamic with their waitstaff (my sympathy is 100% towards the servers there, my smart-money is entirely against the mother)

[Fark user image image 850x1133]


Welp, a rusty coathook is better than a rusty trombone I always say.
 
2021-07-21 1:13:59 AM  

tintar: Percise1: Subway is the best road food there is. I said it and stand by it.

I've road tripped extensively, and the more back road the better. Any town with more than 2,000 residents has a Subway, even the ones that DON'T have a McD (we'll come back to that).
Do you have to be picky about what you eat? Of course, don't be a fool...
I have never and would never consider having a tuna salad sandwich from a Subway, and this predates the most recent debacle by decades. A whole wheat, ham (or other popular cured meat product) sando with a careful selection of raw ingredients will feed you well, consistently and cheaply.

People who bag on Subway eat gas station sandwiches, or pull into McD's instead without compunction... these are the people who have it all farked up. Not my problem...

Do I eat Subway when I'm at home? Hell no! I go 100 yards to a real deli and get a real sandwich for a couple of dollars more. The difference is that I live in civilization.

this guy gets it. altho' lord love a duck if'n you can actually stand their "fresh" "bread"

only thing worth having there is a cold cut trio or eye-talian/bmt thingy. preserved/processed vegetals remain dealer's-choice, as always.

and, agreed, recent toona thread regardless, just DO NOT. do never.

me, 10 years ago I'd go to the one in my rural Cape Cod 1-horse town when they had a sale/promo, and get their egg-pucks in a "flatbread" footlong wrap. plenty o' mayo, crizappy-"cheese" under the salamander, and tomato + iceberg shreds. it's been so long I forget if they also did raw onyon.

/the egg-pucks also come in "scrambled" lol.


There is a short path between "love" and "really farking hungry".

NEEDS RePeAtInG!?!

And the sound of that sandwich just make my bowels move. O_O
 
2021-07-21 1:16:39 AM  

NINEv2: I'll admit, I chuckled. But dude, are you getting, um, crankier lately?


What the hell are you talking aboot?
*attacks monitor with flyswatter*
 
2021-07-21 4:46:30 AM  
Even if business is getting rough you can't resort to threats
 
2021-07-21 5:56:28 AM  

Percise1: Subway is the best road food there is. I said it and stand by it.

I've road tripped extensively, and the more back road the better. Any town with more than 2,000 residents has a Subway, even the ones that DON'T have a McD (we'll come back to that).
Do you have to be picky about what you eat? Of course, don't be a fool...
I have never and would never consider having a tuna salad sandwich from a Subway, and this predates the most recent debacle by decades. A whole wheat, ham (or other popular cured meat product) sando with a careful selection of raw ingredients will feed you well, consistently and cheaply.

People who bag on Subway eat gas station sandwiches, or pull into McD's instead without compunction... these are the people who have it all farked up. Not my problem...

Do I eat Subway when I'm at home? Hell no! I go 100 yards to a real deli and get a real sandwich for a couple of dollars more. The difference is that I live in civilization.


Pretty much.  Everywhere, usually open late, reliable adequate quality.  So good in a pinch when you don't trust or don't want to bother with the local cuisine and/or McDonalds.  Although with the way they keep making stupid decisions, it may not be everywhere for long.
 
2021-07-21 11:54:45 AM  

Percise1: NINEv2: I'll admit, I chuckled. But dude, are you getting, um, crankier lately?

What the hell are you talking aboot?
*attacks monitor with flyswatter*


ugh, I've actually been meaning to get one of those. haven't owned a flyswatter in yonks, but they've somehow been sneaking in past the deck's screendoor.

I really want one of those salt-shooting nerf-gun-things, have done for years - but it would scare the cats / also possibly get used on the misbehaving cats, so, no dice. a friend used to have one of those as-seen-on-teevee tennis racquet electrified ones, and it worked surprisingly amazingly well... except for the part about requiring 17 D-cell batteries; I wonder if there's a usb-rechargeable version these days...

or... hm! is there such a thing as a bug-zapper what fits in an e26/e27 AC base socket? I should look that up too... oh freakin' sweet it exists. even comes in a 2 pack, I'll give one to her parents. maybe.

Fark user imageView Full Size


plus we had a cloud of those horrible tiny gnats en cucina. hers: "those bugs are over the kitchen sink again!" - me: "huh. *looks* well where did the trap* go?" - hers: "oh I thought that was a dirty bowl and put it in the dishwasher" - eh, fine, *builds another one*

truly looking forward to colder weather... ass-uming we even get any this year.

*y'know, the usual: cider vinegar, 5-6 drops dish soap, warm water. works great!
 
2021-07-21 3:33:24 PM  

NINEv2: tintar: NINEv2: I would rather eat at a farking olive garden. On a Sunday. With multiple kids birthdays. After church. In the south.

feel like I've inflicted this more than once, but hey why not - that time my wife's childhood-friend's mother got a rusty coathook in her water at Olive Garden. personally I put blame squah on the mother, but I weren't there so who knows what her horrible dynamic with their waitstaff (my sympathy is 100% towards the servers there, my smart-money is entirely against the mother)

[Fark user image image 850x1133]

Welp, a rusty coathook is better than a rusty trombone I always say.


but nothing beats a Rusty Venture

Defining a "Rusty Venture" | The Venture Bros. | Adult Swim
Youtube ykEGtwJuZIs
 
2021-07-21 3:56:28 PM  

Percise1: NINEv2: I'll admit, I chuckled. But dude, are you getting, um, crankier lately?

What the hell are you talking aboot?
*attacks monitor with flyswatter*


That'll learn me!
 
2021-07-21 9:29:08 PM  

tintar: I really want one of those salt-shooting nerf-gun-things, have done for years


Actually, you don't. You don't want salt randomly scattered all over your place, trust me.
Years ago I had a simple pneumatic nerf dart gun that was quite accurate within 10 feet... I would wait until the fly landed and take a shot. It actually worked quite well, wasn't loud or destructive. Maybe look into that?


NINEv2: Percise1: NINEv2: I'll admit, I chuckled. But dude, are you getting, um, crankier lately?

What the hell are you talking aboot?
*attacks monitor with flyswatter*

That'll learn me!


*swat*
 
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