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(Kent Online)   Ah, there's nothing quite like the gentle nobility of the English cricket match. The gentlemanly conduct, the polite applause when a four is scored, and the familiar sound of willow on nasal cartilage as the pitch is stormed by bat-wielding hooligans   ( divider line
    More: Scary, Cricket, Mote Park Cricket Club, Test cricket, charity cricket match, club's joint-chairman Tim Hance, Dr Syed Arshad Husain, Deputy High Commissioner, end of a game  
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2637 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jul 2021 at 11:35 AM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

37 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2021-07-20 9:17:24 AM  
I bet the yobs did this! What do the boffins say?
2021-07-20 11:36:24 AM  
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2021-07-20 11:37:57 AM  

Walker: I bet the yobs did this! What do the boffins say?

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2021-07-20 11:40:07 AM  
Too soon to talk about Cricket Bat control?
2021-07-20 11:41:28 AM  
I love headlines that I can read in David Attenborough's voice.
2021-07-20 11:42:40 AM  
2021-07-20 11:42:54 AM  
Na-na-na-na-na-na-nah, Bat Thugs!
2021-07-20 11:44:03 AM  
To be fair, some of them were definitely zombies.
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2021-07-20 11:46:12 AM  
Luckily, the Gooch wasn't there to see this outrage.
2021-07-20 11:46:26 AM  
That's not cricket, innit.
2021-07-20 11:50:00 AM  
Mmm... leather on willow.
2021-07-20 11:55:00 AM  
What a bunch off arseholes
2021-07-20 11:55:10 AM  

genner: Too soon to talk about Cricket Bat control?

I remember during one of the many recent riots in London, authorities were stopping anyone carrying a baseball bat, but leaving cricket bats alone. The idea was (1) baseball is still pretty rare in the UK, so anyone with a bat must be up to no good; (2) baseball bats are lighter, and therefore easier to bash someone's skull in; and (3) none of the famous American gangster movies show any no-good farkin' snitch gettin' taught a lesson with a cricket bat (no really, that was a reason they gave).
2021-07-20 11:59:31 AM  
The bat is sort of totemestic.  But sometimes....

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2021-07-20 12:01:10 PM  
The Cricket Furies?
2021-07-20 12:01:16 PM  
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"Thugs, louts, hooligans and lunatics..."

/not obscure because everyone on FARK is old like me
//yes, I know the meter doesn't work, piss off ya wanker
2021-07-20 12:05:13 PM  
Jiskefet - English Sports
Youtube E_6d3JBBo4s
2021-07-20 12:05:33 PM  

Sergeant Angle: Video of what a good cricket fight looks like.

As far as a brawl goes, that was rather underwhelming.

I did like the overall body language of "What's all this then?"
2021-07-20 12:15:50 PM  

Walker: I bet the yobs did this!

alchetron.comView Full Size
2021-07-20 12:18:31 PM  
Youtube FKGVaAfJM0I
2021-07-20 12:20:50 PM  
Cricket as explained to me by someone from the British Isles:

It's an excuse to sit around and drink all day.
2021-07-20 12:23:01 PM  
Brockian Ultra Cricket:

While a complete list of rules has only ever been assembled once (and the book containing the assembled rules promptly collapsed into a black hole), some of the rules are as follows:

Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.
Rule Two: Find one extremely good Brockian Ultra Cricket player. Clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.
Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall around them. The reason for this is that, though the game is a major spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not actually being able to see what's going on leads them to imagine that it's a lot more exciting than it really is. A crowd that has just watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event in sporting history.
Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment over the wall for the players. Anything will do - cricket bats, basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing with.
Rule Five: The players should now lay about themselves for all they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player scores a "hit" on another player, he should immediately run away as fast as he can and apologize from a safe distance. Apologies should be concise, sincere, and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.
Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.
2021-07-20 12:25:35 PM  
I suspect this was a Twenty20 version of the game. I love it. It's not exactly cucumber sandwiches and tea.
2021-07-20 12:31:00 PM  

Sergeant Angle: Video of what a good cricket fight looks like.

That's not a fight.
It's a Donnybrook.
2021-07-20 12:33:15 PM  
Didn't Monty Python already do this like decades ago?
2021-07-20 12:43:02 PM  

Trik: Didn't Monty Python already do this like decades ago?

Humans, for the most part, aren't exactly tip-top at paying attention to history.

Everything, eventually, repeats itself.
2021-07-20 12:44:53 PM  
Not very cricket of you old chap
2021-07-20 1:24:15 PM  
Here in the US they'd all be dead.
2021-07-20 1:33:32 PM  
As a college friend of mine said about Bat Day at a Detroit Tigers game, "Everybody has a bat, it's a fair fight."
2021-07-20 1:33:52 PM  
So, Medway?

Reads article. Medway.

Gentle nobility isn't really their thing.
2021-07-20 1:36:13 PM  
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2021-07-20 1:44:23 PM  
'Did you know, Putnam, more people are murdered at 92 degrees Fahrenheit than any other temperature? I read an article once, lower temperatures people are easy-going, over 92 it's too hot to move but at just ninety-two people get irritable.'
2021-07-20 3:39:16 PM  
Was a Chesterfield sofa involved
2021-07-20 4:22:25 PM  
Oh! Joyous sound of nasal cartilage on willow!

denofgeek.comView Full Size
2021-07-20 4:32:25 PM  
Pakis versus Hindis is a tale as old as....well India and Pakistan really.
2021-07-20 5:06:12 PM  

calufrax: Oh! Joyous sound of nasal cartilage on willow!

[ image 640x380]

smacked with consummate ease through the French windows of the cricket pavilion...
2021-07-20 5:07:10 PM  

Copperbelly watersnake: Cricket as explained to me by someone from the British Isles:

It's an excuse to sit around and drink all day.

It's Britain's biggest cultural export after football. Cricket matches between India and Pakistan have the world's third largest television audience. The top two are the Olympics and the World Cup.
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