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(Slate)   "My children have been banned from the neighbor's pool because one of them jokingly pushed her princess daughter into the pool while her teenage daughter was too busy on her phone. She made a social media post. This whole thing is stupid, right?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Anxiety, second child, little girl, Bea acts, community pools, anxiety disorder, great life, apathetic teen lifeguard  
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608 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 Jul 2021 at 7:20 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-07-19 6:54:46 AM  
Get yer own pool?
 
2021-07-19 7:00:50 AM  
This is a joke, right?

Letter writer's never admit this much fault and selfish privilege.  Not only is this letter fake, it's not a very good fake.  1/10 stars, would give no stars if that was an option.
 
2021-07-19 7:30:37 AM  
It's not your pool and they don't want you there. It doesn't matter what the reason is.
 
2021-07-19 7:35:06 AM  
I've known a few entitled "Moms" like this.

What the daughter did was pretty typical, but around the pool, it can be dangerous.

Likewise, Pool Mom needs to look at how her older daughter is not paying attention.

It's crap like this is why I never have wanted a pool.
 
2021-07-19 7:37:42 AM  
I want to see a sign that has those children's faces on it, with big red Xs over them at the entrance to the neighbors back yard. With the tag line, "farked around and found out."
 
2021-07-19 7:39:47 AM  
Mindbogglingly Stupid.
 
2021-07-19 7:59:51 AM  

Another Government Employee: I've known a few entitled "Moms" like this.

What the daughter did was pretty typical, but around the pool, it can be dangerous.

Likewise, Pool Mom needs to look at how her older daughter is not paying attention.

It's crap like this is why I never have wanted a pool.


I don't have a pool but if I did I wouldn't let other people's kids use it without the parents there. She not only expects her kid to be able to use the pool, she expects someone else to babysit them while they do it. That's not a responsibility I would want.

If you want your kids to use the pool, fine. Then you sit your ass there and watch them. I bet if she made that the rule, people would suddenly not ask to use the pool anymore.
 
2021-07-19 8:06:02 AM  

abhorrent1: It's not your pool and they don't want you there. It doesn't matter what the reason is.


"But my kids want to swim so everyone has to do what we want! WAAAHHH!" farking Karens.
 
2021-07-19 8:06:28 AM  
This mom had such a great opportunity to teach her kids that there can be unpleasant consequences for being an asshole. Unfortunately she was too much of an asshole herself to recognize it.
 
2021-07-19 8:10:32 AM  
"Pool Karen" is a category of Karen onto itself.
 
2021-07-19 8:21:02 AM  
Well if your kid hadn't tied those concrete blocks to her first.
 
2021-07-19 8:25:17 AM  
Pools are no joke. Pushing a kid standing on a stone/concrete deck is no joke, even if they wind up somewhere safe.  That said, perma ban seems extreme, kids are kids and make dumb choices, but maybe this is a straw/camel thing and that kid has been scoring bully points on your own, then by all means banhammer the fark outta them.
 
2021-07-19 8:31:26 AM  

deadsanta: Pools are no joke. Pushing a kid standing on a stone/concrete deck is no joke, even if they wind up somewhere safe.  That said, perma ban seems extreme, kids are kids and make dumb choices, but maybe this is a straw/camel thing and that kid has been scoring bully points on your own, then by all means banhammer the fark outta them.


Or everyone involved is a dick, including the kids.  The difference for them being they have the excuse of being kids
 
2021-07-19 8:32:00 AM  
1) Go with the Carl Barks method of getting even.  Get a LOT of ice, dump "alla dat" in their pool at the wrong 4:30 (a.m., for those who don't understand time zones).  Make that pool into an iceburg.  I'm talking about so much ice, it fills it from the bottom to the top (dump trucks full of ice).  It will take several days of sweltering heat for that ice to melt, a lot of chlorine to get the pool water back to the right amount, and boy howdy will it be fun to watch everyone NOT swim in cold water when you have been banned.

2) I don't understand how a guy can carry a pregnancy for a wife and isn't every pregnancy gay and happy?  I don't understand this question, is it about a baby bjorn or something?  (Seriously, though, she watched what a pregnancy does to a body for reals and was like, FUDGE. THAT.  SHIAT., you did it once, you do it again, but ain't no way I'm doing that, go see a counselor if you can't find your girl-balls and stick up for yourself)

3) If he is 20, he needs to pay rent to you as a landlord.  This isn't being a jerk, it's so that he can establish a line of credit with a rental history, a landlord and paperwork.  When he goes out into the real world and tries to get a place on his own, he can show he was paying rent to you (even if it was only $50 / mo), with paperwork (you don't pay, you're out the door, late there is a $20 / late day fee, etc).  It's about being an adult and having the paperwork to show where you are to future people down the line, with an established history.  The location thing?  Don't worry about it, he's working as a crack ho on the street corner, the size 14 heels and glass dragon pipes should have been a clue.

---
Dear Prudence,


There is a dearth of shows outside of Friends to watch and get your material from.  90 Day Fiance, Love at First Sight, House Hunters, 19 Kids and Counting, Sister Wives, 16 and Pregnant.  Try watching something outside of 90's reruns.
 
2021-07-19 8:35:31 AM  
I did not realize that a vast number of people feel entitled to the use of somebody's personal pool, including sabotaging it if banned.

What about their car? Costs more than a pool... How dare they not let you drive it? Pour some Karo syrup in the gas tank; that'll teach the bastard not to let my kids use it...

Farkwads. Glad I don't live near you.
 
2021-07-19 8:44:52 AM  

abhorrent1: It's not your pool and they don't want you there. It doesn't matter what the reason is.


This is literally true, and since they're not offering any sort of public accommodation, they don't even have to comply with non-discrimination laws.  They can ban you from their pool for literally any reason they wish, even if that reason would be illegal for a business to use to ban someone.

With that said, they have good reason to ban you.
 
2021-07-19 8:54:51 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-19 9:02:04 AM  
I had a pool when my kids were growing up.
There were rules. Pretty much the same rules that you would find at a public pool.

And always ADULT supervision. Me, to be specific.   And sometimes kids got sent home.  I never had to ban them for life. And usually when they'd show up the next day, they'd apologize for whatever it was that got them sent home.

The 'no horseplay' rule was usually the one that was broken.  It's all fun and games til someone falls and cracks their noggin on the brick coping.
 
2021-07-19 9:04:13 AM  
I have a pool and also zero children.  That is also the same amount of children welcome in my pool.  I don't want my pool full of pee.
That said, no untrained teenager should be an unwilling, uninterested lifeguard/babysitter at a pool for children with zero adults around.  That's a disaster waiting to happen.
I have to have gates with locks leading to my pool (which is aboveground but huge) per my homeowners insurance, plus I have cameras pointed there now because kids just moved in next door and Mr Spawn worries they will try to sneak over for a swim.  This woman's insurance company would probably flip if they knew neighborhood kids without adult supervision were in the pool.
 
2021-07-19 9:17:33 AM  
I have a pool and I just want to complain that this is the worst pool summer ever.  It rains every day this year.
 
2021-07-19 9:44:11 AM  

Ker_Thwap: This is a joke, right?

Letter writer's never admit this much fault and selfish privilege.  Not only is this letter fake, it's not a very good fake.  1/10 stars, would give no stars if that was an option.


All prudie articles are jokes. Most of them about butt stuff.

I kind of enjoyed this one, the fakey-mc-fakerson fakeness was laid on extra thick for our pleasure:

"Bea is only "allowed" to invite a few kids over at a time because her sister doesn't want to "babysit the entire street." All the girl does is sit in a hammock and play on her phone while the kids swim."

Why is "allowed" in quotes? Sounds like it's a pretty firm rule that the kid doesn't choose to set for herself.
Why would someone object to a disinterested teen not wanting to be responsible for every kid in the neighborhood? Pools are dangerous, either go there and watch your kid, graciously appreciate another adult watching them if they offer, or keep you kids home.

"Bea's mother has banned our girls from coming over because our oldest was "too violent." We got into an argument where I told her it was just roughhousing and maybe if her daughter had been actually watching the kids instead of her screen, it wouldn't have happened. I should have kept my mouth shut."

So roughhousing around a pool without adequate supervision is an acceptable level of violence? The teenager who obviously doesn't want to babysit is at fault for...not wanting to babysit?  Then there's a level of self-reflection expressed that Karen should have kept her mouth shut? (She's right, but there's no way a real Karen would admit to that).

"Bea's mother went on social media and put up the Pool Rules and the diatribe about community values, personal responsibility, and how she wasn't going to stand by and watch one daughter get "physically attacked" only for her other one to be verbally. She will close the pool gates otherwise. She didn't name my family, but everyone figured it out."

So now we're back to being upset that the pool owner is worried about safety around her pool, and we're mad that the pool owner didn't name-and-shame the entitled people who caused this to be necessary, just because everyone could figure out who was so damned entitled as to think they have a right to someone else's pool?

After all that, I think the only solution here is for the pool owner to fark the letter writer's kids' dad.
 
2021-07-19 9:47:31 AM  
slate:  'This is a teachable moment'

You'd think you wouldn't have to be taught not to toss the host's kid in the water.
You'd think wrong, apparently.  
iruntheinternet.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-19 10:50:50 AM  

abhorrent1: Another Government Employee: I've known a few entitled "Moms" like this.

What the daughter did was pretty typical, but around the pool, it can be dangerous.

Likewise, Pool Mom needs to look at how her older daughter is not paying attention.

It's crap like this is why I never have wanted a pool.

I don't have a pool but if I did I wouldn't let other people's kids use it without the parents there. She not only expects her kid to be able to use the pool, she expects someone else to babysit them while they do it. That's not a responsibility I would want.

If you want your kids to use the pool, fine. Then you sit your ass there and watch them. I bet if she made that the rule, people would suddenly not ask to use the pool anymore.


My sister has a pool, and when her kids were young that's exactly the rule that she had. Nothing wrong with it, and the pool wasn't jam packed all the time.
 
2021-07-19 11:06:00 AM  
I raised an ill mannered brat who is facing consequences of her actions, how can I make myself and her the victim?
 
2021-07-19 11:20:48 AM  

Another Government Employee: I've known a few entitled "Moms" like this.

What the daughter did was pretty typical, but around the pool, it can be dangerous.

Likewise, Pool Mom needs to look at how her older daughter is not paying attention.

It's crap like this is why I never have wanted a pool.


1) Typical and at the same time dangerous / unacceptable.
2) Teenagers don't pay attention very well to kids (on average) unless there is a fair amount of money involved.
3) We traveled a fair bit as a family and I didn't feel like finding out when we got home, or later via a cell phone call, that one of the neighbor kids climbed a fence and drowned.
 
2021-07-19 11:30:32 AM  
1) In The Summertime When The Weather Is High: The fact the neighborhood princess may be lording pool access over the neighborhood does not counter their house, their rules.  STFU and GTHOI.

2) Carry That Weight A Long Time: I don't see a way through this that doesn't involve professional therapy.  You have autonomy and ultimately it is your choice and your partner should not be pressuring you.  Or just DTMFA.

3) Let It Go: It's hard to let them go, but it's time.  Learn to STFU and MYOB.
 
2021-07-19 11:31:47 AM  

perigee: I did not realize that a vast number of people feel entitled to the use of somebody's personal pool, including sabotaging it if banned.


I would never believe it either until I saw it myself. My FIL had a pool and his younger kids would often invite friends over to swim. On more than one occasion the parents dropped off multiple siblings even though the invitation had been extended to only one child. One day an entire family showed up (mom, dad, four kids) with a cooler and snacks (that they didn't share) in response to one kid being invited. To me this is something that you would at least ask about first, but no they just showed up and acted like they owned the place.

When I bought my current house 10 years ago it had an inground pool. We kept it for the first season but removed it year two and while a lot of things went into that decision, the fact that some people view private pools as a public resource was a factor.
 
2021-07-19 11:35:05 AM  
And since we're talking about people getting shoved into the water.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-19 12:01:06 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I have a pool and I just want to complain that this is the worst pool summer ever.  It rains every day this year.


Are you afraid..... of getting wet?
 
2021-07-19 12:27:20 PM  
Yes, it IS stupid that you think your kids have a right to be in their pool.  If your kids weren't brats who like to bully other kids, this wouldn't be a problem.  Let them learn from this.  Don't be assholes, and you won't have things taken away from you.
 
2021-07-19 1:07:29 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I have a pool and I just want to complain that this is the worst pool summer ever.  It rains every day this year.


Midwestern farmers watching their crops dry up due to drought would like to have a word with you.

Well, not really a word.  More like they'd like to impale you on a pitchfork for complaining about a little rain.
 
2021-07-19 1:38:18 PM  

wage0048: Midwestern farmers watching their crops dry up due to drought would like to have a word with you.



Farmers further to the west would like a word as well.
 
2021-07-19 1:46:49 PM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: I have a pool and also zero children.  That is also the same amount of children welcome in my pool.  I don't want my pool full of pee.
That said, no untrained teenager should be an unwilling, uninterested lifeguard/babysitter at a pool for children with zero adults around.  That's a disaster waiting to happen.
I have to have gates with locks leading to my pool (which is aboveground but huge) per my homeowners insurance, plus I have cameras pointed there now because kids just moved in next door and Mr Spawn worries they will try to sneak over for a swim.  This woman's insurance company would probably flip if they knew neighborhood kids without adult supervision were in the pool.


I know homeowner liability is different than a business liability but, does having the cameras really protect you? (This is a literal question) When I worked at hotels, they specifically did not have cameras covering the pool and started "no lifeguards present." If there had been cameras present, the front desk employees became de facto lifeguards even though they weren't trained for it creating liability from both the employees and guests.
 
2021-07-19 1:56:30 PM  

clborgia: Spawn_of_Cthulhu: I have a pool and also zero children.  That is also the same amount of children welcome in my pool.  I don't want my pool full of pee.
That said, no untrained teenager should be an unwilling, uninterested lifeguard/babysitter at a pool for children with zero adults around.  That's a disaster waiting to happen.
I have to have gates with locks leading to my pool (which is aboveground but huge) per my homeowners insurance, plus I have cameras pointed there now because kids just moved in next door and Mr Spawn worries they will try to sneak over for a swim.  This woman's insurance company would probably flip if they knew neighborhood kids without adult supervision were in the pool.

I know homeowner liability is different than a business liability but, does having the cameras really protect you? (This is a literal question) When I worked at hotels, they specifically did not have cameras covering the pool and started "no lifeguards present." If there had been cameras present, the front desk employees became de facto lifeguards even though they weren't trained for it creating liability from both the employees and guests.


I'm no law-talkin' guy, but I would think they could be helpful for a homeowner. There is no expectation for a homeowner to constantly monitor it (and particularly if the cameras only record/are not sending motion alerts). Further, the cameras would presumably capture the trespassers climbing over fences (or otherwise intentionally getting around the locked gates), which should help to prove the homeowner took reasonable precautions.

At the hotel there may be a presumption (accurate or not) that cameras are more-or-less constantly monitored, and the guests (assuming the pool area was open to guests at that time) are permitted to be at/in the pool, so I see how the cameras increase liability. Kind of sucks, but makes sense.
 
2021-07-19 1:56:43 PM  

clborgia: Spawn_of_Cthulhu: I have a pool and also zero children.  That is also the same amount of children welcome in my pool.  I don't want my pool full of pee.
That said, no untrained teenager should be an unwilling, uninterested lifeguard/babysitter at a pool for children with zero adults around.  That's a disaster waiting to happen.
I have to have gates with locks leading to my pool (which is aboveground but huge) per my homeowners insurance, plus I have cameras pointed there now because kids just moved in next door and Mr Spawn worries they will try to sneak over for a swim.  This woman's insurance company would probably flip if they knew neighborhood kids without adult supervision were in the pool.

I know homeowner liability is different than a business liability but, does having the cameras really protect you? (This is a literal question) When I worked at hotels, they specifically did not have cameras covering the pool and started "no lifeguards present." If there had been cameras present, the front desk employees became de facto lifeguards even though they weren't trained for it creating liability from both the employees and guests.


It's not for use as lifeguards.  It's to prove if someone breaks through the gates to access to pool when we aren't home.
 
2021-07-19 4:39:49 PM  
Their pool, their rules.
 
2021-07-19 4:53:49 PM  

abhorrent1: Another Government Employee: I've known a few entitled "Moms" like this.

What the daughter did was pretty typical, but around the pool, it can be dangerous.

Likewise, Pool Mom needs to look at how her older daughter is not paying attention.

It's crap like this is why I never have wanted a pool.

I don't have a pool but if I did I wouldn't let other people's kids use it without the parents there. She not only expects her kid to be able to use the pool, she expects someone else to babysit them while they do it. That's not a responsibility I would want.

If you want your kids to use the pool, fine. Then you sit your ass there and watch them. I bet if she made that the rule, people would suddenly not ask to use the pool anymore.


We had a pool growing up.  Neighbors we weren't even friends with or even know their names thought they could just come by and go swimming.  Pretty sure they were planning to just leave their kids there too.  We're like who are you, and no, you can fark off.
 
2021-07-19 7:09:05 PM  

tdyak: If he is 20, he needs to pay rent to you as a landlord.  This isn't being a jerk, it's so that he can establish a line of credit with a rental history, a landlord and paperwork.


What do you think a line of credit is?
Are other landlords really gonna call your mom and ask what kind of tenant you were?
 
2021-07-19 7:13:12 PM  

clborgia: If there had been cameras present, the front desk employees became de facto lifeguards


Yeah this is not a thing
 
2021-07-19 7:52:57 PM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: clborgia: Spawn_of_Cthulhu: I have a pool and also zero children.  That is also the same amount of children welcome in my pool.  I don't want my pool full of pee.
That said, no untrained teenager should be an unwilling, uninterested lifeguard/babysitter at a pool for children with zero adults around.  That's a disaster waiting to happen.
I have to have gates with locks leading to my pool (which is aboveground but huge) per my homeowners insurance, plus I have cameras pointed there now because kids just moved in next door and Mr Spawn worries they will try to sneak over for a swim.  This woman's insurance company would probably flip if they knew neighborhood kids without adult supervision were in the pool.

I know homeowner liability is different than a business liability but, does having the cameras really protect you? (This is a literal question) When I worked at hotels, they specifically did not have cameras covering the pool and started "no lifeguards present." If there had been cameras present, the front desk employees became de facto lifeguards even though they weren't trained for it creating liability from both the employees and guests.

It's not for use as lifeguards.  It's to prove if someone breaks through the gates to access to pool when we aren't home.


Even with the cameras you're just as likely to get a ruling that since you didn't post barbed wire, land mines, ninjas, velociraptors, and the angel Jimmy Jesus with a full complement of Godferrets to back him up you were obviously negligent and are therefore fully liable anyway
 
2021-07-19 8:31:37 PM  
We got into an argument where I told her it was just roughhousing and maybe if her daughter had been actually watching the kids instead of her screen, it wouldn't have happened.

Or not... You don't know this. What you do know, though, is that your kid pushed someone into a pool. Roughhousing and running around pool decks has been a no-no for a log time. Regardless of whether or not the teenage daughter is doing her job or not, it doesn't matter because your kid is still acting dangerously. IN a place with a lifeguard totally on top of things, yur daughter would have gotten banned as well.

Bea is only "allowed" to invite a few kids over at a time because her sister doesn't want to "babysit the entire street."

Oh, and unless you are going to volunteer to go over and watch the kids yourself, you have no real right to insist that they allow more kids. Really, you can just fark right off. Not your house, not your pool, so not your place to make rules.
 
2021-07-19 8:35:30 PM  
Used to sneak into my parents neighbors hot tub at night, getting a kick.

/I always closed it up when I was done
//I'd always get blitzed first
///always alone, never brought anyone else
 
2021-07-19 9:06:57 PM  

eKonk: Why is "allowed" in quotes?


Because the letter writer is trying for all of the sympathy possible, and thinks that somehow limiting the number of strange kids in your pool is evidence of...

...well...

...something.

Really, the letter writer just wants us all to know how this mean pool owner is discriminating against her family.
 
2021-07-19 9:20:16 PM  

kozlo: Used to sneak into my parents neighbors hot tub at night, getting a kick.

/I always closed it up when I was done
//I'd always get blitzed first
///always alone, never brought anyone else


The highschool-aged  kid that lived in the house behind us used to sneak into our pool at night and swim laps. I saw him out there a few times but never busted him. His family life was chaotic, I think he just wanted some peace.
 
2021-07-20 7:21:03 AM  
When I was growing up the cute neighbor girls from two-houses down were always welcome to come swimming anytime.  They never did, but they were welcome.
 
2021-07-20 4:24:06 PM  

aimtastic: This mom had such a great opportunity to teach her kids that there can be unpleasant consequences for being an asshole. Unfortunately she was too much of an asshole herself to recognize it.


Where do you think they learned it?
 
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