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(New Musical Express)   Paul Stanley says kiss your reunion hopes goodbye   (nme.com) divider line
    More: Vintage, Gene Simmons, Kiss, recent interview, Eric Singer, Ace Frehley, Peter Criss, Paul Stanley, frontman Paul Stanley  
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1335 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Jul 2021 at 6:26 PM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



45 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-07-18 4:33:19 PM  
"A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board.
Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.
The band's manager was profoundly relieved. It meant that for the seventeenth time on this tour the drums would be played by a robot and that therefore the timing of the cymbalistics would be right."
 
2021-07-18 5:03:18 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: "A doctor


Somebody called... the Doctor.
 
2021-07-18 6:30:05 PM  
You can thank Gene Simmons being a greedy self-absorbed piece of sh*t for that, KISS Army.
 
2021-07-18 6:34:15 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-18 6:45:08 PM  
There IS a God.
 
2021-07-18 6:45:48 PM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: You can thank Gene Simmons being a greedy self-absorbed piece of sh*t for that, KISS Army.


I'm sure he'll grab three other guys and keep making bank.  They'll probably play a lot better as well (or not.  There's no reason to pay for that, although I'd expect better session players would work rather cheaply).
 
2021-07-18 6:50:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-18 7:13:15 PM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: You can thank Gene Simmons being a greedy self-absorbed piece of sh*t for that, KISS Army.


Ah, the KISS Army.  Once again proving almost nothing good ever comes out of Terre Haute, Indiana.
 
2021-07-18 7:22:28 PM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: You can thank Gene Simmons being a greedy self-absorbed piece of sh*t for that, KISS Army.


Gene Simmons has always been a greedy, self absorbed , turd, so some other factor must be in play.
 
2021-07-18 7:22:52 PM  
Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.
 
2021-07-18 7:23:03 PM  

AAAAGGGGHHHH: You can thank Gene Simmons being a greedy self-absorbed piece of sh*t for that, KISS Army.


He's gonna be the next bass player for Megadeth. Just watch! Self absorbed Jewish guy and a self absorbed Jewish guy. It will be phenomenal!
 
2021-07-18 7:26:42 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.


This x10
 
2021-07-18 7:34:09 PM  

thatguyoverthere70: Mr. Coffee Nerves: "A doctor

Somebody called... the Doctor.


Kiss Dr Pepper Cherry Commercial with little Kiss
Youtube ZxEpdOANq08
 
2021-07-18 7:38:08 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.


cdn.britannica.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-18 8:04:16 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-18 8:17:13 PM  
He can always fall back on his acting career.

Paul Stanley Folgers Coffee Commercial
Youtube hMa1yH5QCxk
 
2021-07-18 8:19:35 PM  

omg bbq: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.

[Beatles]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-18 8:28:04 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.


Ever heard of Metallica?
 
2021-07-18 8:36:35 PM  

ZMugg: omg bbq: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.

[Beatles]

[Fark user image 500x207] [View Full Size image _x_]


If you look at a chart of music through the ages, it starts out as a bunch of widely spaced, disparate lines.
Ocarinas, pan flutes and other hollow logs, accordions, bagpipes and banjos. But as you approach the 1960s, a funny thing starts to happen. All of those cultures and instruments begin to converge on one another and we were then blessed with a blinding light of brilliance as they merged into the musical singularity that was The Beatles.

Everything coalesced into the Greatest Band of All Time, and from The Beatles everything sprang. There is no one making music now who is uninfluenced by The Beatles, and really, they wouldn't matter anyway.  Sacred and unassailable through all time, like Maxwell's silver hammer banging away building a yellow submarine.

Without The Beatles, there would be no music. You know in your whitest of hearts, that this is true. There were no other bands, only some instrument owners who practiced in their divine shadow.
 
2021-07-18 8:47:53 PM  

gunther_bumpass: ZMugg: omg bbq: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.

[Beatles]

[Fark user image 500x207] [View Full Size image _x_]

If you look at a chart of music through the ages, it starts out as a bunch of widely spaced, disparate lines.
Ocarinas, pan flutes and other hollow logs, accordions, bagpipes and banjos. But as you approach the 1960s, a funny thing starts to happen. All of those cultures and instruments begin to converge on one another and we were then blessed with a blinding light of brilliance as they merged into the musical singularity that was The Beatles.

Everything coalesced into the Greatest Band of All Time, and from The Beatles everything sprang. There is no one making music now who is uninfluenced by The Beatles, and really, they wouldn't matter anyway.  Sacred and unassailable through all time, like Maxwell's silver hammer banging away building a yellow submarine.

Without The Beatles, there would be no music. You know in your whitest of hearts, that this is true. There were no other bands, only some instrument owners who practiced in their divine shadow.


I don't disagree but:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-18 9:04:34 PM  
The late 90s KISS reunion was pretty cool. Went and watched them at the state fair when they were teasing the reunion, and that was pretty fun. Then, about 2 year later, they did a full blown reunion with all of the gadgets and gimmicks. Another year or three after that, they did a tour with Aerosmith, which the wife got free tickets for. That one was kind of a half tour, with some of the fun gimmicks, but not all.

And I'll go ahead and say it: KISS is fun in concert. I get that one of Fark's favorite pastimes is badmouthing this band, but they are what they are: a band with fun party music. No, they aren't modern day incarnations of Beethoven, but their music is fun. That's all I need from them. And they fit that niche perfectly.
 
2021-07-18 9:12:55 PM  

thatguyoverthere70: Mr. Coffee Nerves: "A doctor

Somebody called... the Doctor.


Doctor, doctor please...
 
2021-07-18 9:17:21 PM  
I like Kiss. They're entertaining. They don't pretend to be be deep musicians.
 
2021-07-18 9:20:05 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-18 10:07:33 PM  
Is the spiffy tag on vacation this week?
 
2021-07-18 10:08:15 PM  
Who asked you to?

You're an old fark. Stop dressing like a space mime.
 
2021-07-18 10:08:41 PM  

Eightballjacket: AAAAGGGGHHHH: You can thank Gene Simmons being a greedy self-absorbed piece of sh*t for that, KISS Army.

Gene Simmons has always been a greedy, self absorbed , turd, so some other factor must be in play.


Yeah, Peter Criss and Ace Frehley hate Paul and Gene. Plus they're geriatrics now. They can't risk walking around in those boots anymore. They might fall and break a hip or something.
 
2021-07-18 10:18:40 PM  
Well they always throw out a lot of "We this" and "we that" and "we made it it what it is" and "we were the catalyst for what it was and became" "It would have never been what it was without exactly the four of us"

Until its time to spread some cheese on the farking cracker. Im not saying Ace and Peter were the most responsible people in the world. But they didnt do anything 99 percent of people in their same situation didnt do. They just lucked up into joining a band with two opposites who just happened to be greedy assholes.

We we we we but when it came time to spread the cash it was ok Gene is the biggest asshole so he gets about 65 percent. Im in the closet and Im the second biggest asshole and I want my secret kept secret so Ill take the 33 percent Gene offers. You guys? Well we are all equals so yall split 2 percent.

Low pay compared to the other two and having to put up with a drama queen and the biggest greediest asshole in entertainment history...well HELL YES Id end up on drugs etc.

Anyone else notice in the documentary in one scene they are walking out on the stage and Gene has Peter by the hand and Peter is walking behind him at arms length looking down. Looks just like 99 percent of the 18 year old couples I see around the school that has the submissive girlfriend being led around by the jerk bully or athlete. It was so cringeworthy my 10 yr old grandson says "wait....why is he holding his hand like that? Is that his boyfriend?"
 
2021-07-18 10:21:45 PM  

gunther_bumpass: ZMugg: omg bbq: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.

[Beatles]

[Fark user image 500x207] [View Full Size image _x_]

If you look at a chart of music through the ages, it starts out as a bunch of widely spaced, disparate lines.
Ocarinas, pan flutes and other hollow logs, accordions, bagpipes and banjos. But as you approach the 1960s, a funny thing starts to happen. All of those cultures and instruments begin to converge on one another and we were then blessed with a blinding light of brilliance as they merged into the musical singularity that was The Beatles.

Everything coalesced into the Greatest Band of All Time, and from The Beatles everything sprang. There is no one making music now who is uninfluenced by The Beatles, and really, they wouldn't matter anyway.  Sacred and unassailable through all time, like Maxwell's silver hammer banging away building a yellow submarine.

Without The Beatles, there would be no music. You know in your whitest of hearts, that this is true. There were no other bands, only some instrument owners who practiced in their divine shadow.


Which brings me to my next point children...DONT DO CRACK
 
2021-07-18 10:34:26 PM  

Mikey1969: The late 90s KISS reunion was pretty cool. Went and watched them at the state fair when they were teasing the reunion, and that was pretty fun. Then, about 2 year later, they did a full blown reunion with all of the gadgets and gimmicks. Another year or three after that, they did a tour with Aerosmith, which the wife got free tickets for. That one was kind of a half tour, with some of the fun gimmicks, but not all.

And I'll go ahead and say it: KISS is fun in concert. I get that one of Fark's favorite pastimes is badmouthing this band, but they are what they are: a band with fun party music. No, they aren't modern day incarnations of Beethoven, but their music is fun. That's all I need from them. And they fit that niche perfectly.


They're Jimmy Buffet of rock.  Both suck, but both can be fun if it's your thing.
 
2021-07-18 11:06:14 PM  

Eightballjacket: AAAAGGGGHHHH: You can thank Gene Simmons being a greedy self-absorbed piece of sh*t for that, KISS Army.

Gene Simmons has always been a greedy, self absorbed , turd, so some other factor must be in play.


They're entering their 70's?
 
2021-07-18 11:10:44 PM  

chitownmike: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.

Ever heard of Metallica?


Yeah sucks they quit as a band but I can understand why- having a bus land twice on the most talented musician in it can do that.
 
2021-07-18 11:31:26 PM  

omg bbq: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.

[Fark user image image 425x425]


My GOD aren't you edgy! So original too!
 
2021-07-18 11:40:35 PM  

thefatbasturd: omg bbq: Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Has such a nobody, mediocre, generally embarrassing band ever driven such attention? Goddamn.

[Fark user image image 425x425]

My GOD aren't you edgy! So original too!


very edge
so lord
wow
 
2021-07-18 11:42:43 PM  
We'll always have their cinematic masterpiece

KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park 1978 movie trailer
Youtube Hr-h5GM-ic4
 
2021-07-19 1:05:28 AM  
Simmons did the math.

Splitting the profits two ways gets more money than splitting the profits four ways.
 
2021-07-19 1:18:43 AM  
I've yet to meet an adult KISS fan who wasn't a farking idiot.
 
2021-07-19 3:45:44 AM  
It's been a long KISS goodbye.

Now, KISS off already.
 
2021-07-19 7:14:43 AM  
When are we getting the reality show where they have a competition to replace the band?
 
2021-07-19 7:23:09 AM  
 
2021-07-19 7:30:34 AM  
gunther_bumpass:

When I was teen I worked at a movie theater.

"Detroit rock city" the movie came out ( decent stoner road trip flick).

First showing, guy in full kiss regalia shows up.

He was the only one in the theater.

Next ticket wasn't sold until the late evening show 4 showings later..
 
2021-07-19 9:32:18 AM  

gunther_bumpass: I've yet to meet an adult KISS fan who wasn't a farking idiot.


never met one.  known quite a few people who as kids, loved KISS, myself included
 
2021-07-19 9:59:24 AM  
I was hoping they would never tour again, so my reunion hopes have been realized.
 
2021-07-19 11:24:32 AM  
 
2021-07-19 1:17:10 PM  
Well, one of them already had a hip replacement, so they might be smart enough to stay home.
 
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