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(Politico)   John Bolton would like the world to know that Afghanistan was one more in an unbroken string of US military victories like Vietnam, the 1812 invasion of Canada, or the Battle of Kasserine Pass   (politico.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, George W. Bush, United States, War in Afghanistan, Taliban, Al-Qaeda, President of the United States, Republican Party, Afghan government  
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798 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Jul 2021 at 4:20 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



72 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-07-16 2:06:17 PM  
I would go with the Son Tay Raid a mission that was 'succesful' but didn't accomplish the objective it was intended to achieve
 
2021-07-16 3:15:45 PM  
Whatever lets your mustache sleep at night, Johnny.
 
2021-07-16 3:29:02 PM  
Shut up asshole. Just stop talking.
 
2021-07-16 3:52:52 PM  
"IT WAS A DRAW!"

y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 3:55:28 PM  
Has he ever won at anything in life? Does he know what winning is?
 
2021-07-16 4:03:55 PM  
Macho Grande?
 
2021-07-16 4:23:51 PM  
Oblig.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 4:24:25 PM  

edmo: Has he ever won at anything in life? Does he know what winning is?


Sure his plans never work out but he always seems so happy and confident when presenting them. That's a kind of victory.
 
2021-07-16 4:25:45 PM  
If you can't win in 20 years, you can't win.
 
2021-07-16 4:26:06 PM  
We just really need to get the F out of there. It sucks that there's going to be a lot of people hurt by that. We should make an effort to get as many Kurdish and other people who helped us out of there and to the US.
 
2021-07-16 4:28:30 PM  
Brave Sir Robin
Youtube BZwuTo7zKM8
 
2021-07-16 4:28:49 PM  
Haven taken part in this absolute clusterfark of a war... we won the battle but completely lost the war.
FARK Bolton! Fark Bush! Fark Obama! Fark Rumsfeld! FAAARK Trump!
We wasted too many good young people and lost over $800B to fraud and waste.

But hey, the MIC made out like bandits.

RIP Brothers and Sisters.
 
2021-07-16 4:29:23 PM  
Shut up, dickshine. Why should we care the opinion of a man that was involved with PNAC
 
2021-07-16 4:29:46 PM  

Petit_Merdeux: "IT WAS A DRAW!"

[y.yarn.co image 850x452]


"It was a tie!"
 
2021-07-16 4:30:09 PM  

Olympic Trolling Judge: If you can't win in 20 years, you can't win.


Russia, and about 1400 years of warfare proved this over and over.
No one has ever taken the area.
 
2021-07-16 4:30:35 PM  

iheartscotch: We just really need to get the F out of there. It sucks that there's going to be a lot of people hurt by that. We should make an effort to get as many Kurdish and other people who helped us out of there and to the US.


Yeah, we really need to get out and take anyone who helped us there and for good measure take all the young women there too. The story a few down from here was talking about what the Taliban wants to do with them.
 
2021-07-16 4:31:00 PM  
john bolton is a terrorist and the media attempt to help rehab his reputation is appalling.
 
2021-07-16 4:32:16 PM  
"I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy," he said in 1995. "I considered the war in Vietnam already lost."

GFY, you chickenhawk farker.
 
2021-07-16 4:32:32 PM  

Olympic Trolling Judge: If you can't win in 20 years, you can't win.


We were just finding our groove.
 
2021-07-16 4:33:54 PM  
The fact that John Bolton and Dick Cheney are going to die of old age in their mansions should be proof enough that the justice system doesn't work.
 
2021-07-16 4:34:03 PM  
John Bolton: "It's only War if it comes from the War region of France. Otherwise it's sparkling conflict."
 
2021-07-16 4:34:39 PM  
Another fine American tradition -- denying loses.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 4:35:56 PM  
We haven't lost a war ... just ask Ratheon, Halliburton, Lockheed, etc.... Nothing but WINNING!
 
2021-07-16 4:36:37 PM  

edmo: Has he ever won at anything in life? Does he know what winning is?


John Bolton once succesfully persuaded President Trump to attack Iran.

Then he went home to have a shower and change his suit and while he was doing that someone talked Trump out of going ahead with the attack.

So yeah, John Bolton missed out on achieving his lifelong dream because he creamed his suit pants, the farking loser.
 
2021-07-16 4:36:47 PM  
When we go back in 10 years, I say we annex the whole place, and build massive earthworks installations, complete with underground tunnels carved by those Elon Musk Boring machines.

make it the 53rd state.
 
2021-07-16 4:37:26 PM  

Petit_Merdeux: "IT WAS A DRAW!"

[y.yarn.co image 850x452]


"You can't fire me, I quit!" >.>
 
2021-07-16 4:39:09 PM  
Sure we didn't accomplish any of our strategic goals, and the Taliban is going to take over the country again, but how many American cities did the Taliban conquer? Not one! Never mind the goal of the Taliban was for us to leave.
 
2021-07-16 4:39:45 PM  

poorjon: John Bolton: "It's only War if it comes from the War region of France. Otherwise it's sparkling conflict."


"Police actions" don't count toward our record.  They're like exhibition games.
 
2021-07-16 4:40:16 PM  
Or we could just stomp the Suat Valley Taliban into the dust, like we should have done in the first place.
 
2021-07-16 4:42:48 PM  
Do we call the Iraq War a success because we eliminated its violent dictator and protected OPEC or a failure because they never had the WMDs or terrorists that we said they did?
 
2021-07-16 4:43:05 PM  
Yeah, he was on some morning news show either today or yesterday and I couldn't change the channel fast enough when I saw his dumb walrus face.

Stop asking amoral, attention-seeking assholes what they think about anything, "liberal" media, for fark's sake.

Just stop.
 
2021-07-16 4:44:40 PM  
The Fascists Republicans are readying the American Dolchstoßlegende.
 
2021-07-16 4:44:51 PM  

The Wack: We haven't lost a war ... just ask Ratheon, Halliburton, Lockheed, etc.... Nothing but WINNING!


That was the only reason for the wars- so you'd be right.
 
2021-07-16 4:45:36 PM  
All of the conservatives sniveling about how much more badly oppressed the Afghani women and girls will be make me nauseous, since they would be thrilled to turn the USA into the Handmaidens Tale.
 
2021-07-16 4:47:23 PM  
Are women in Afghanistan shopping at Hot Topic?

No!
They're being auctioned off as sex toys.

The fool's errand was a failure.

You're unfit to wear that mustache.
Shave it off in shame!
Shame on you John Bolton!
 
2021-07-16 4:49:01 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 4:53:14 PM  
Well, using that logic, the US did not win the revolutionary war, because the British just left.

Although, that is true.  We "won" that war just the way that the Vietnamese "won" theirs.
 
2021-07-16 4:53:32 PM  

You'd turn it off when I was halfway across: edmo: Has he ever won at anything in life? Does he know what winning is?

John Bolton once succesfully persuaded President Trump to attack Iran.

Then he went home to have a shower and change his suit and while he was doing that someone talked Trump out of going ahead with the attack.

So yeah, John Bolton missed out on achieving his lifelong dream because he creamed his suit pants, the farking loser.


Milley did, at least that's what I gather from all these stories.
 
2021-07-16 4:54:02 PM  
Osama bin Laden is dead.

What was the other mission?
 
2021-07-16 5:03:54 PM  
Yeah, listening to Republicans babble about how much they care about the females of any Muslim country is one of their more nauseating shticks.

They'd prefer to just bomb the shiat out of everyone, regardless of how many of them are innocent bystanders, but that rarely gets traction, except among their insular online groups, where they all must jerk themselves raw fantasizing about leveling a major city filled with brown people.
 
2021-07-16 5:06:30 PM  

Senseless_drivel: Osama bin Laden is dead.

What was the other mission?


Nation building.

There's no Westfield shopping center in Kabul.

Thereby according to the international ancient laws of war, for failing the capitalist mission of the Dulles plan by neglecting to install at least 10 McDonald's, Bolton owes reality a seppuku or equivalent, but frankly I have a difficult time perceiving him as alive or human right now. He's a condom fulla wet gunpowder with bristles sticking out. A dadaesque mishmash of failure, shame and psychopathy.

There's a vast emptiness where his humanity should be. It stinks of feet and rancid meat.
 
2021-07-16 5:13:28 PM  

Senseless_drivel: Osama bin Laden is dead.

What was the other mission?


This is from the Men Who Stare at Goats which is about the Iraq War but the nation build excuse was used to justify both wars.
Private Military Contractors in Iraq
Youtube gNMXl9Xj72c
year 0
 
2021-07-16 5:15:10 PM  
I proudly proclaim Afghanistan was a clear and decisive victory for the USA to all the veterans down at the VA who lose their shiat whenever a car backfires.  Some of them get angry.  Some of them curl up in a ball.  I should get my car serviced.
 
2021-07-16 5:18:21 PM  

UltimaCS: The fact that John Bolton and Dick Cheney are going to die of old age in their mansions should be proof enough that the justice system doesn't work.


Don't forget the war criminal Kissinger
 
2021-07-16 5:19:20 PM  
vivisxn.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 5:32:04 PM  

iheartscotch: We just really need to get the F out of there. It sucks that there's going to be a lot of people hurt by that. We should make an effort to get as many Kurdish and other people who helped us out of there and to the US.


Maybe China will take over. Good luck taking advantage of their good nature, Taliban.
 
2021-07-16 5:40:51 PM  
In the article he actually blamed Biden for Trump signing the withdrawal agreement.

So I guess Obama is letting Biden use his magic time machine.
 
2021-07-16 6:03:24 PM  

jerryskid: Well, using that logic, the US did not win the revolutionary war, because the British just left.


Well, yes, they left after getting their asses beat at Yorktown in 1781 and surrendering to George Washington.  We're not surrendering in Afghanistan, we're yelling very loudly WE WON SO WE'RE GOING HOME fark THIS PLACE fark ALL Y'ALL and then running away.  It's a different thing.

What we should have done was just bomb Osama bin Laden and his pals into their component atomic elements pour encourager les autres and then left. Instead we spent twenty years and countless lives playing nation-builder in places that fundamentally reject our view and definitions of civilization, which was farking stupid.
 
2021-07-16 6:04:22 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 6:15:09 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: When we go back in 10 years, I say we annex the whole place, and build massive earthworks installations, complete with underground tunnels carved by those Elon Musk Boring machines.

make it the 53rd state.


Yes, a single-lane semi-secret tunnel for the super-rich sure would accomplish that.
 
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