Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Twitter)   WTF is an "office bod"?   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, shot  
•       •       •

1911 clicks; posted to Business » on 16 Jul 2021 at 11:05 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-07-16 9:42:43 AM  
Original Tweet:

 
2021-07-16 9:49:51 AM  
This kind of weirdness goes hand in hand with stuff like "office wife" or "office husband"..

I farking hate that mentality. We hired a new person to a team I led and I made sure everyone felt at home and part of the team. I like giving gifts, so this one new hire was struggling with their calculator so I went and spent $20 at a thrift store and told them to take their pick. "You're the best work husband ever" she said and I immediately shut that shiat down and moved her to another position in the company. Absolutely not. Same with thinking I need to "look good" for my co-workers. I'm way more impressed by good ideas than your rice cake and tuna 4 times daily snack regimen.
 
2021-07-16 9:50:51 AM  
I put on clothes to hide my office bod.

You're welcome coworkers.
 
2021-07-16 9:52:16 AM  
A body that can wear clothes other than sweatpants and a smelly T-shirt.  I have no idea what size my waist even is right now.
 
2021-07-16 9:52:27 AM  
Zoom calls add 20 lbs.
 
2021-07-16 9:54:27 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Zoom calls add 20 lbs.


and farting sounds.
 
2021-07-16 9:55:15 AM  

Pinche Mateo: fragMasterFlash: Zoom calls add 20 lbs.

and farting sounds.


I just did a shift and a SBD. Does zoom pick up on that?
 
2021-07-16 10:02:15 AM  
I just need to get rid of my Pandemic Liver..
 
2021-07-16 10:04:37 AM  
One good enough to catch the eye of Sandra in accounts
 
2021-07-16 10:06:47 AM  
One shaped like a cube, in order to fit properly into your cubicle.
 
2021-07-16 10:07:56 AM  
Eh. People judge you based on how you look. This is inevitable. It's up to you to chose how much you care about it and what you do with that knowledge.

As I'm rounding into middle age, I have come to the realization that for dudes, the biggest keys to aging "gracefully" are staying active and avoiding getting a belly. I've already worked off the weight I gained last year during the lockdowns, but I probably have a little further to go before I'm satisfied. Unfortunately, this means I'm hangry most of the time I'm at the office, you stupid farks.
 
2021-07-16 10:11:16 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 10:19:48 AM  
doughy and pasty
 
2021-07-16 10:39:16 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Just say no
 
2021-07-16 10:42:05 AM  

ytterbium: [Fark user image 400x300]

Just say no


WTF man? You really want us to try and drink her pretty this early in the day?
 
2021-07-16 10:42:24 AM  

arrogantbastich: Pinche Mateo: fragMasterFlash: Zoom calls add 20 lbs.

and farting sounds.

I just did a shift and a SBD. Does zoom pick up on that?


Probably not but I hope your sitting on a bag of charcaol briquets in case of bystanders.
 
2021-07-16 10:45:01 AM  
 
2021-07-16 10:46:37 AM  

ytterbium: [Fark user image 400x300]

Just say no


Hairy ears are from poor air quality? I thought it was just that I was over 40.
 
2021-07-16 11:08:30 AM  
whateverthefark body I have at that time is the office bod.
 
hej
2021-07-16 11:09:19 AM  
It's the same as Fark bod, only you are salaried.
 
Juc
2021-07-16 11:51:07 AM  
It's the body judgemental people need to have in order to feel like they themselves aren't being judged.
 
2021-07-16 11:52:55 AM  
Some people are highly motivated to put their best foot forward in front of their colleagues, which includes their physique. News at 11.
 
2021-07-16 12:09:35 PM  

hobnail: ytterbium: [Fark user image 400x300]

Just say no

Hairy ears are from poor air quality? I thought it was just that I was over 40.


Of all the things I heard about would happen when I got older, hairy ears were never mentioned. Hell, I knew full well my metabolism was going to slow down and I wouldn't be mean and lean forever. But not one farking whisper of needing a special shaver for my ears.
 
2021-07-16 12:11:02 PM  

markie_farkie: I just need to get rid of my Pandemic Liver..


You and me both.
 
2021-07-16 12:16:46 PM  

MelGoesOnTour: markie_farkie: I just need to get rid of my Pandemic Liver..

You and me both.


I'll drink to that
 
2021-07-16 12:20:49 PM  
Clothes are expensive! I've got a whole closet full of suit pants that are "refusing to go back to work". I've got to start suffering on the treadmill unless I want to pay for a bunch of new threads by cutting back my Total Fark subscription drinking allowance.
 
2021-07-16 12:30:24 PM  
People were concerned about their weight before the pandemic?
 
2021-07-16 12:30:41 PM  
my dad (adopted) has some super gene that sadly he won't be passing on, worked in a office all his life had a 20 year of no sport/exercise whatsoever from 35/55y/o and routine of work come home watch tv eat chips. smokes 2 packs a day.

he's 75 now still lift heavy stuff didn't lose muscle mass takes 0 medication for the 0 medical condition has he was still able to beat me at arm wresling at 65. people tend to think he's in his late 50's has great lung capacity still. good eyesight still.
 
2021-07-16 12:37:20 PM  
It's when you are still wearing the same button-up shirts but it looks like the buttons are struggling a little more now to do the job.
 
2021-07-16 12:37:44 PM  

bluewave69: my dad (adopted) has some super gene that sadly he won't be passing on, worked in a office all his life had a 20 year of no sport/exercise whatsoever from 35/55y/o and routine of work come home watch tv eat chips. smokes 2 packs a day.

he's 75 now still lift heavy stuff didn't lose muscle mass takes 0 medication for the 0 medical condition has he was still able to beat me at arm wresling at 65. people tend to think he's in his late 50's has great lung capacity still. good eyesight still.


It's the cigarettes. They're a stimulant.
 
2021-07-16 12:41:06 PM  

bluewave69: my dad (adopted) has some super gene that sadly he won't be passing on, worked in a office all his life had a 20 year of no sport/exercise whatsoever from 35/55y/o and routine of work come home watch tv eat chips. smokes 2 packs a day.

he's 75 now still lift heavy stuff didn't lose muscle mass takes 0 medication for the 0 medical condition has he was still able to beat me at arm wresling at 65. people tend to think he's in his late 50's has great lung capacity still. good eyesight still.


My grandfather is like this. He'll probably outlive me. He doesn't live some kind of healthy life style. He smokes, etc, eats whatever he wants, is old and sedentary. Still thin and fit with a full head of farking hair that still isn't grey. farkin Lazarus Long motherfarker.
 
2021-07-16 12:58:31 PM  

markie_farkie: I just need to get rid of my Pandemic Liver..


Yeah, I should probably tone that down myself. But, surprisingly, I lost about ten pounds in the last year of quarantine even with the added alcohol. Turns out that eating fast food for lunch every day is a lot of calories. Sensible lunches and a loooot more cooking has offset the beer fairly well.

My wife, on the other hand, has swapped her commute for an hour workout every morning for about 8 months now and is in the best shape of her life. That is one of the many perks of the last year.
 
2021-07-16 1:06:01 PM  
"Quiet on the set, everyone! Okay, Dirk, this is when you say 'Gee boss, I gotta ask: what's it like having such a sophisticated office bod?' and she's gonna say 'Come over here and I'll show you-- unless you wanna get slapped with a harassment lawsuit for asking me about my office bod'. Okay, got it? Aaaaand action!"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-16 1:14:42 PM  
I weigh less now than I did when I was actually in the office.  Not sure I need to do anything to get an "office bod".
 
2021-07-16 1:15:25 PM  

arrogantbastich: hobnail: ytterbium: [Fark user image 400x300]

Just say no

Hairy ears are from poor air quality? I thought it was just that I was over 40.

Of all the things I heard about would happen when I got older, hairy ears were never mentioned. Hell, I knew full well my metabolism was going to slow down and I wouldn't be mean and lean forever. But not one farking whisper of needing a special shaver for my ears.


Thankfully I'm at the occasionally plucking the occasional stray stage.
 
2021-07-16 1:41:16 PM  
Well judging by the people in my office on our return to work, it is something resembling a barrel
 
2021-07-16 1:45:53 PM  
The term used to be "dorm butt", now it's "office bod"...
 
2021-07-16 2:07:52 PM  

Sporkabob: I weigh less now than I did when I was actually in the office.  Not sure I need to do anything to get an "office bod".


Same here. I'm taking better care of myself now that I'm WFH
 
2021-07-16 2:18:32 PM  

Tannhauser: Sporkabob: I weigh less now than I did when I was actually in the office.  Not sure I need to do anything to get an "office bod".

Same here. I'm taking better care of myself now that I'm WFH


Same here, too. I lost 10 pounds despite adding to my diet things like Yodels and chocolate pudding and making ice-cream more often than ever. And I don't watch what I eat (although I do eat well, zero fast-food for instance) in addition to drinking earlier in the day. But I also go t bed earlier than before. In any case, 10 pounds vanished and I have no idea how it remained that way so far.
 
2021-07-16 2:18:46 PM  
The problem with clothes is that they shrink on their own. I've been working from home since before the pandemic (cue lightning sound effect) and every time I have to go into the office my clothes have obviously gotten smaller.
 
2021-07-16 8:18:28 PM  
A just acceptable enough pudge that you won't be feel too bad about being shot down by the hot new intern, and that your wife won't wonder who you're trying to slim down for?
 
2021-07-16 8:26:24 PM  

arrogantbastich: This kind of weirdness goes hand in hand with stuff like "office wife" or "office husband"..

I farking hate that mentality. We hired a new person to a team I led and I made sure everyone felt at home and part of the team. I like giving gifts, so this one new hire was struggling with their calculator so I went and spent $20 at a thrift store and told them to take their pick. "You're the best work husband ever" she said and I immediately shut that shiat down and moved her to another position in the company. Absolutely not. Same with thinking I need to "look good" for my co-workers. I'm way more impressed by good ideas than your rice cake and tuna 4 times daily snack regimen.


Sounds like you need some work marriage counseling. You can get through this. Do it for the baby calculators.
 
2021-07-16 8:42:58 PM  

arrogantbastich: This kind of weirdness goes hand in hand with stuff like "office wife" or "office husband"..

I farking hate that mentality. We hired a new person to a team I led and I made sure everyone felt at home and part of the team. I like giving gifts, so this one new hire was struggling with their calculator so I went and spent $20 at a thrift store and told them to take their pick. "You're the best work husband ever" she said and I immediately shut that shiat down and moved her to another position in the company. Absolutely not. Same with thinking I need to "look good" for my co-workers. I'm way more impressed by good ideas than your rice cake and tuna 4 times daily snack regimen.


I always took the phrase as someone on your team that you work especially well with. My old sous chef was my work wife, because we'd worked together long enough that we knew and trusted the other completely. I knew that she'd keep the kitchen running how I preferred it, and could explain why we did things the way we did, and she knew that the moment that the second hand ticked over our acceptable delivery time window that I'd be on the phone tracking stuff down for service, or heading to the car to pick up stuff that we needed badly. We joked, we laughed, and if someone f*cked up, we had a united front on how to approach it. Not a good cop or bad cop mentality, but she had her approach and I had mine, and if I asked her to talk to someone it was because I trusted her approach to be the better, and if she fired said person, I'd back her up. And if she preferred to NOT talk to someone, it was because she knew that I'd handle it better than she would. It was all about the love and trust that we'd built as friends and co-workers for ten some odd years. Across more than a couple of restaurants.

My wife knew Holly, and knew there was nothing remotely hanky-pankyish, because she knew that Holly was the one I kvetched to and visa versa. She was one of my best friends. I knew her husband. I was her daughter's godfather. We babysat for one another. We were really close as coworkers and friends, and it was that level of trust that made her my work wife.
 
2021-07-17 3:29:57 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-17 11:17:32 AM  

rummonkey: It's when you are still wearing the same button-up shirts but it looks like the buttons are struggling a little more now to do the job.


Cool Hand Luke (1967) - Car Wash Scene (2/8) | Movieclips
Youtube cINFeXqwbDo

"Buttons struggling to do the job" reminded me of this movie clip.
 
2021-07-17 5:54:26 PM  
I lost my office body within four months of working in a warehouse after being laid off from my newsroom job of 15 years.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.