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(Some Guy)   "The 1980s were a decade of neglect, and I haven't felt freedom or terror like it since"   (outline.com) divider line
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4757 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jul 2021 at 12:50 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-07-14 11:25:36 AM  
TFA:
Helicopter parents were born in the 1980s, a direct response to their personal experience of being roundly ignored by their own parents. Children were not to be seen nor heard, and we were definitely not supposed to complain about any injuries sustained during the 15 hours a day we roamed the streets.

Yup. A lot of us died too, "enjoying" that freedom, and there weren't very many Gen X to begin with.

I have no shame in being a helicopter parent or pinning a participation award on Sprout. The world is about to get a lot harder for everyone, we shouldn't hesitate to endow some cheaply purchased happiness for our children to remember when they will face a global environment far harsher than we did.

I loved my childhood in the 70's/80's, but wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was stupid, unsupervised, and unnecessarily dangerous. I had friends that barely made it to adulthood and more that died shortly after becoming adults.
 
2021-07-14 11:54:34 AM  
Maybe we might have done better with all that freedom if folks hadn't handed us sh*t like lawn darts and clackers and sent us on our way. Don't get me wrong, I had a great childhood, and did some amazingly stoopid sh*t that I am amazed in retrospect didn't get us killed, but I got to know an ER a lot better than I should have been comfortable with as a boy.

My daughter got a li'l less of that freedom, until she got older and had an idea of possible dangers. Me? I got to wander a mountain in Germany on the regular, filled with gullies, drops, wild boars, wild dogs, and the occasional old un-exploded ordinance in forgotten bunkers carved into the bedrock. I was far too familiar with explosives at a young age than again, I would be comfortable with a child knowing today. And I did NOT use that knowledge in a safe or responsible fashion. Though, we DID at least aerosolize gasoline and then hit that cloud with MOAR fireworks from the platform on a pond, as opposed to in the forest. The fireball was impressive...impressive enough that it got MPs to roll over. MPs do NOT have a sense of humor when blow stuff up on base.
 
2021-07-14 12:36:02 PM  
Yeah I really really don't remember as much peeing outside as the author does and I'm really happy and disgusted about it.
 
2021-07-14 12:52:39 PM  
Mostly I worried about Reagan and Andropov getting us all nuked.
 
2021-07-14 12:53:14 PM  
I can only remember a couple of near death experiences as a child growing up in the woods of NH in the 80s/90s...far fewer on average than many of my friends.  I'm not complaining.
 
2021-07-14 12:54:43 PM  
Eight years of Reagan and two years of Bush 41.

Fear and freedom, You betcha. We can disagree about the cause and effect, whether fear or freedumbs, but we can't disagree on the facts about who was in the White House or the Shadow Presidency.
 
2021-07-14 12:55:04 PM  
I initially thought this was going to be about the Atlanta Child Murders which also caused lots of kids to stay inside.
 
2021-07-14 12:55:38 PM  

yohohogreengiant: I have no shame in being a helicopter parent or pinning a participation award on Sprout.


Corrected. Raising a bubble kid is a recipe for adult disaster.

Also: the author is a fkin idiot.
 
2021-07-14 12:56:09 PM  
Bonus points:  Early T-Rump, at least in the New York press.
 
2021-07-14 12:56:12 PM  
I was 13 in 1987.

In the summer Id be gone from 9 am till about 9 pm. Riding BMX bikes, knocking on doors and running away, dialing random numbers and asking to talk to Nancy Reagan, shoplifting GI Joes from Kaybees. These were the intellectually stimulating pursuits of my youth.

I grew up in the back of a bail bonds place across the street from the county jail.
I used to talk to the prisoners who took care of the cops horses in the barn next to the impound yard. Id steal cigarettes from my mom and give them to them.
 
2021-07-14 12:56:39 PM  

yohohogreengiant: I have no shame in being a helicopter parent or pinning a participation award on Sprout. The world is about to get a lot harder for everyone, we shouldn't hesitate to endow some cheaply purchased happiness for our children to remember when they will face a global environment far harsher than we did.


Especially when the real "critics" are just stupid right wingers with an agenda against anything "liberal."

Unless that child is being abused, it's none of your goddamned business how they're being raised.
 
2021-07-14 12:56:54 PM  

Miss5280: Yeah I really really don't remember as much peeing outside as the author does and I'm really happy and disgusted about it.


I peed in the alley between my and my neighbors house, mainly because it was easier than going inside and up the stairs.

I did that a lot actually.  So did my brothers.


Was that weird?
 
2021-07-14 12:57:39 PM  
Childhood spent on a barrier island in Florida. Both parents worked, and when I didn't have to watch my younger brother and sister, I was either a half mile out in the ocean with a snorkel, jumping my bmx off a ramp at the end of a dock into the Indian River, riding over to the mainland to check out "civilization" and whatever girls might be over there, canoeing in the Indian River and camping on one of the sedge islands, or pool hopping all the apartments and resorts up and down the beach.

There were no cell phones and basically I was off the map as far as my parents knew, and only knew when I was supposed to be home.

I don't know if that was an ideal way to grow up or not. My home life kind of sucked because my Dad was an asshole, so it was ideal considering the circumstances.
 
2021-07-14 12:58:43 PM  
Get a drink of water from the garden hose. Walk up to the drug store/soda shop for a 50¢ blue raspberry Slush Puppy.
 
2021-07-14 12:59:10 PM  
I was also a free range kid.  Yeah we survived but some didn't.

I dunno.  I think there's a balance in there somewhere between my upbringing and helicopter parents.  But I'll never really care because I don't have kids.
 
2021-07-14 12:59:15 PM  
Epic.  I'm verklempt.  Tawk amongst yourselves.
 
2021-07-14 1:00:05 PM  
I was a 90s kid but in the boonies so we were 10 years behind the real world. We got up to some fun trouble but there were very few serious injuries or fatalities.

I miss being able to roll out the back door and straight into the woods.
 
2021-07-14 1:00:43 PM  
Graduated HS in 1983....I had wonderful parents who let me do whatever the hell I wanted as long as I came home before mid-night. The older I got, the more they stretched my curfew.

I was also very lucky that I had been working since the age of 13 and what do suburban kids do when they have money?

Drugs. Lots of drugs...

good times...
 
2021-07-14 1:00:57 PM  

dothemath: I was 13 in 1987.

In the summer Id be gone from 9 am till about 9 pm. Riding BMX bikes, knocking on doors and running away, dialing random numbers and asking to talk to Nancy Reagan, shoplifting GI Joes from Kaybees. These were the intellectually stimulating pursuits of my youth.

I grew up in the back of a bail bonds place across the street from the county jail.
I used to talk to the prisoners who took care of the cops horses in the barn next to the impound yard. Id steal cigarettes from my mom and give them to them.


In the old cheesy department store in our town, a buddy would pick up a Super Pinky rubber ball, walk around the store bouncing it then walk right out the door.  He had like 50 of those things.
 
2021-07-14 1:02:23 PM  
I too was one of these feral children, a Lost Boy with at least a roof to keep over his head.

I don't really remember the video games, and god knows how often I was playing them.

I remember the trips to the roller rink. The fear of a banana spider web o your face. The sound of thunder before the rain. Retrieving golf balls from a pond on a golf course. Biking around the neighborhood and taking my bike on some really sweet jumps. Getting stitches after a Barbasol can was chucked at my head.

The inside rarely changes. But the outdoor time, that's where memories are made.
 
2021-07-14 1:02:50 PM  

Jake Havechek: In the old cheesy department store in our town, a buddy would pick up a Super Pinky rubber ball, walk around the store bouncing it then walk right out the door.  He had like 50 of those things.


I worked here for two weeks...never thought about stealing super bouncy balls though...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-07-14 1:02:50 PM  
"Bahhhh! Parents these days are all helicopter parents! Back in mah day, we used to break our bones and heal them with popsicle stick splints because our parents didn't give a shiat!"

/old man yells at cloud
//your blog sucks
 
2021-07-14 1:05:09 PM  

Professor Horatio Hufnagel: "Bahhhh! Parents these days are all helicopter parents! Back in mah day, we used to break our bones and heal them with popsicle stick splints because our parents didn't give a shiat!"

/old man yells at cloud
//your blog sucks


When I was 10 i broke my arm trying to jump off the top of the pool slide in my backyard. I wasnt supposed to swim when my mom was at work so I tried to hide it from her that night. The pain got too intense and I spilled my guts and went to the ER.
 
2021-07-14 1:06:15 PM  

baronbloodbath: But the outdoor time, that's where memories are made.


Constantly on my bike. Constantly riding into other friend's neighborhoods miles away...had many many many outdoor adventures. I knew every side-street, every nook and cranny of my town...which came in handy when I got a car and needed to look for pot...

Atari had been out but none of my friends got swept under that spell.

Instead we all got musical instruments, formed a band and did that until we each got cars and went off to college...
 
2021-07-14 1:07:15 PM  
As a child of the 70s and early 80s, I can relate. I compare/contrast my children's childhoods with my own, and they are/were quite different for a whole host of reasons. Personally, I wouldn't trade my free childhood for anything. It was, by a wide margin, the best period of my life.
 
2021-07-14 1:07:16 PM  
My brushes with death happened mostly in the 70s
 
2021-07-14 1:07:17 PM  
I wouldn't say it was neglect, but the more time us kids spent outside, the better interactions with our parents went. It's just what you did. Then everybody started getting Atari or Intellivision or whatever.
 
2021-07-14 1:08:05 PM  
Worst of all, the good old days just led to a flood of nostalgic essays about the good old days.

Yes, I lived during that time.  It was a time when people said things like, "It goes without saying" (paradoxically or not) because other people were not dummies and were experiencing the same things you were.  Trying to explain it to people two generations younger is just as futile as trying to understand their "crappy taste in music".
 
2021-07-14 1:08:08 PM  

dothemath: When I was 10 i broke my arm trying to jump off the top of the pool slide in my backyard.


My good friend Jay was dared to jump from the top bench of the folded up bleachers in our gym. First his head hit the back of the basketball net thingy, fell straight down on his arm. This was in June...he had to get a special cast he could get wet as his summer vacation was on his dad's sail boat for the whole summer...
 
2021-07-14 1:08:28 PM  

yohohogreengiant: TFA:
Helicopter parents were born in the 1980s, a direct response to their personal experience of being roundly ignored by their own parents. Children were not to be seen nor heard, and we were definitely not supposed to complain about any injuries sustained during the 15 hours a day we roamed the streets.

Yup. A lot of us died too, "enjoying" that freedom, and there weren't very many Gen X to begin with.

I have no shame in being a helicopter parent or pinning a participation award on Sprout. The world is about to get a lot harder for everyone, we shouldn't hesitate to endow some cheaply purchased happiness for our children to remember when they will face a global environment far harsher than we did.

I loved my childhood in the 70's/80's, but wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was stupid, unsupervised, and unnecessarily dangerous. I had friends that barely made it to adulthood and more that died shortly after becoming adults.


I feel the exact opposite of you. It was by far the best times of my life. Friends, freedom, danger- it all went hand and hand, and it was exhilarating. Adulthood has been pretty lame by comparison.
 
2021-07-14 1:08:45 PM  

Jake Havechek: Mostly I worried about Reagan and Andropov getting us all nuked.


I have to wonder how much of that freedom was based on the assumption that we weren't going to live that long anyway.

I must have been a wimp (ok, I broke my femur at age 3, so "be careful" was imprinted deep in my brain), most of the "sudden death narrowly avoided" *was* under parental supervision (and involved bikes vs. cars.  What a surprise).  Of course, there was that incident with the kid high up in the tree and it suddenly breaking.  And what really gets me is that my memory of that stops after him getting first aid and presumably still alive (I think he lived, but really can't be sure).

And I also have to wonder how many adults have any idea how much of that freedom was from the "child abduction scare".  The media wants you to think that it is a guy with the "free candy van".  In reality the abductions are from the non-custodial parent, and children are molested (in increasingly decreasing probability) of family, preachers, teachers, and others parents place them "under their supervision".  If you want to help the odds, keep them far away from any church/tabernacle/temple/mosque.
 
2021-07-14 1:08:46 PM  
Oh, the 80's. I'd work 10 hours a day, lived at home, spent my money on drugs to sit in someone's basement every weekend and complain about what an asshole Reagan was. I'm pretty pleased with the music that was generated in that timeframe though.
 
2021-07-14 1:09:38 PM  
We weren't always the product of intentional neglect.  Our generation at the time was defined as latch key kids being raised by a single parent.
And yes, maybe we snuck off down the tracks and found some woods porn, and yes we sometimes ran into an angry homeless guy doing coke who was wondering what happened to his woods porn.

Maybe you walked the sidewalks and a car stopped and an angry guy asking directions would tell you to come closer and would become angrier when you didn't.  Different guy every week, too.  You'd have to be flattered when such a variety of perverts picked you to be his victim.

Maybe Mark Wahlberg was drunk at a McDonalds parking lot trying to fight anyone a couple years younger than him who was also shorter than him unless you were going to buy him some fries.  These thing just happened to all of us in the 80's

Then maybe the terror of that freedom was reinforced for several years by a multitude of made for TV movies based on horrifying true stories.

One week Meredith Baxter Birney saves you from a rapist kidnapper, the next week SHE'S the rapist kidnapper.  You never know about her and that's why you need to be extra EXTRA careful with your kids.  She invented both helicopter parenting AND Lifetime for Women.
 
2021-07-14 1:10:58 PM  
I feel like we had more yo-yos per capita than any other generation.
 
2021-07-14 1:11:18 PM  
milwaukeeeyecare.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-14 1:11:19 PM  
We saw the original Star Wars films in the theatres.
 
2021-07-14 1:11:35 PM  
Helicopter parents were around late 60s and 70s.

Heck Trump's parents were helicopter parents.

Conservative's are the real helicopter parents because they want to control every aspect of the children's lives.

Gal contradicts herself in the article.  He said the real trouble was being able to find a bathroom to use cause he was tossed out the house and in the same breath he says his mother was never home and he was a latchkey kid.  Talk about fogged up rose colored glasses.

I doubt her mother made her stay out of the house all day while she was work.  If so she had a shiatty mother.

I was 10 in 1980.  I could ride my bike around the neighborhood when we lived in small town America but when we moved to New Orleans I could not because of traffic or someone would have stolen it from me.

However, I was able to take the street car and buses all over the city but I still had to be home before dark and my parents always seemed to be able to find me even without a cell phone to track me.  Because they were responsible parents.

Let me point out some facts.

She is 44 years old according to her website.

I am 51 according to my birth certificate.

I was 10 in 1980 which made me 19 in 1989.

So that makes her 3 in 1980 and 10 in 89.

So either she had a shiatty parent who was letting her wander the streets between 3-10 years of age or she is making shiat up.

http://daniellehenderson.net/about

Her bio paints a different pic from her article.

She reminds of of a few  farkettes from a decade ago who tried to rewrite their own history while taking control of fark.

Y'all remember one in particular, from Nola.  Superfeminist with a sugar daddy, but was always posting pics like this.

findema.comView Full Size
 
2021-07-14 1:12:01 PM  

yet_another_wumpus: And I also have to wonder how many adults have any idea how much of that freedom was from the "child abduction scare".  The media wants you to think that it is a guy with the "free candy van".  In reality the abductions are from the non-custodial parent, and children are molested (in increasingly decreasing probability) of family, preachers, teachers, and others parents place them "under their supervision".  If you want to help the odds, keep them far away from any church/tabernacle/temple/mosque.


There were some creepy characters around, but my gang of friends and I seemed to avoid them or they didn't come around where we were.

I remember when the Tylenol scare ruined Halloween that year. That sucked. The year previous I had gotten a monster haul of candy.
 
2021-07-14 1:12:08 PM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: I feel like we had more yo-yos per capita than any other generation.


I was good at the "walking the dog" yo-yo trick.

but that was about it...
 
2021-07-14 1:12:31 PM  

Jake Havechek: Mostly I worried about Reagan and Andropov getting us all nuked.


And super-smarmy songs from Sting
 
2021-07-14 1:13:00 PM  

dothemath: I was 13 in 1987.

In the summer Id be gone from 9 am till about 9 pm. Riding BMX bikes, knocking on doors and running away, dialing random numbers and asking to talk to Nancy Reagan, shoplifting GI Joes from Kaybees. These were the intellectually stimulating pursuits of my youth.

I grew up in the back of a bail bonds place across the street from the county jail.
I used to talk to the prisoners who took care of the cops horses in the barn next to the impound yard. Id steal cigarettes from my mom and give them to them.


I looked her up, in 1987 she was literally 7 years old.  She was not doing anything like she described in the article.
 
2021-07-14 1:13:16 PM  

Porous Horace: We saw the original Star Wars films in the theatres.


1977...the line wrapped around the movie theater. That year I saw it 6 times.

Can't stand to watch it now...
 
2021-07-14 1:13:20 PM  

Jake Havechek: Mostly I worried about Reagan and Andropov getting us all nuked.


This! We were about to die in a nuclear holocaust. Who gave a damn if we rode bicycles barefoot through fields of broken glass.
 
2021-07-14 1:14:30 PM  

steklo: We Ate the Necco Wafers: I feel like we had more yo-yos per capita than any other generation.

I was good at the "walking the dog" yo-yo trick.

but that was about it...


I don't think we were very good at it. Today's yo-yoists are insane. But every kid I knew had one, compared to today where you're more likely to find a kid playing a Nintendo Switch than a yo-yo.
 
2021-07-14 1:15:20 PM  
That was a lot of "my mom was so mean" navel gazing.

I grew up "feral" or "wild" in the 70's and as a latchkey kid. And in a very rural area. Nobody I knew of had to pee outside: You went to the nearest home of the nearest kid you knew and asked to use the toilet. Someone's mom was always home. We didn't live in a desolate wasteland. Those were still the days when stores would let kids use the bathrooms.

Any feelings of isolation or abandonment are entirely in the minds of people who had parents who abandoned them. Mine did not.
 
2021-07-14 1:16:12 PM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: But every kid I knew had one


Elementary school kids...they had them. They even had a Duncun Yo-yo rep come to the school one year.


but I never saw a DARE cop come to the school...
 
2021-07-14 1:16:42 PM  

steklo: We Ate the Necco Wafers: But every kid I knew had one

Elementary school kids...they had them. They even had a Duncun Yo-yo rep come to the school one year.


but I never saw a DARE cop come to the school...


Speaking of yo-yos. Lol.
 
2021-07-14 1:16:48 PM  

IRestoreFurniture: Miss5280: Yeah I really really don't remember as much peeing outside as the author does and I'm really happy and disgusted about it.

I peed in the alley between my and my neighbors house, mainly because it was easier than going inside and up the stairs.

I did that a lot actually.  So did my brothers.


Was that weird?


I am both happy and disgusted.
 
2021-07-14 1:17:40 PM  
In '82, this dinky one room video arcade opened up but my parents wouldn't let me go there because "drugs are sold in those places".
 
2021-07-14 1:17:43 PM  
Elementary school memories...Flipping baseball cards...

"Hey you got my Reggie Jackson!"

"tough boggers, shouldn't have flipped it then, sucker"
 
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