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Headline of the Year 2024 Voting

(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   Mayfield Heights, OH officials object to renewing Chuck E. Cheese's liquor license due to numerous fights and foul language. Wait, Chuck E. Cheese has a liquor license?   (cleveland.com) divider line
76
    More: Awkward, Councillor, City council, City Council, Irving, Texas, Variance, Chuck E. Cheese's, The Work, Parapet  
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1171 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2021 at 10:53 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



76 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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Harry Wagstaff  
Smartest (45)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 10:21:21 AM  
Could you be around that many screaming children without a stiff drink?

NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (21)   Funniest (9)  
2021-07-01 10:33:26 AM  
Oh, subby. You sweet summer child.

Fabric_Man [BareFark]  
Smartest (34)   Funniest (6)  
2021-07-01 10:56:30 AM  
Half the liquor is for the parents. The other half is for the staff.

Doctoral Candidate Zaius  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (1)  
2021-07-01 10:56:53 AM  
Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?

Pants full of macaroni!! [BareFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2021-07-01 10:57:15 AM  
Duh.  How else do you expect the grownups to survive the experience?

Be polite walk on the right  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2021-07-01 10:58:05 AM  
Where a kid can beak a kid.

SirDigbyChickenCaesar  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (29)  
2021-07-01 10:58:56 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


Someone that has ever been to a Chuck E Cheese without one.

The Pope of Manwich Village [TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (1)  
2021-07-01 10:58:59 AM  
"Daddy hit the bad talking lady on my birthday, so he didn't have to hit me."

Walker [TotalFark]  
Smartest (10)   Funniest (3)  
2021-07-01 10:59:09 AM  
Well it's Ohio, you pretty much need to be drunk all the time to live there.

Fark user imageView Full Size

Sin_City_Superhero  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2021-07-01 10:59:17 AM  
Kids are more entertaining when they're loaded.

BenSaw2  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 10:59:58 AM  
I imagine liquor at a CC's is sort of like the Balmer curve - it helps until it don't.

pueblonative  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (14)  
2021-07-01 11:00:29 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


Mickey Mouse settling scores.

Sentient  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:00:38 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?
Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


Makes more sense if you imagine they weren't there for a party or anything, they just came for the bar

Walker [TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (23)  
2021-07-01 11:00:59 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Kids are more entertaining when they're loaded.


i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size

bthom37  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2021-07-01 11:01:14 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


Anyone who knows that farking weasel is up to no good.

See below documentary on this topic:
WILLY'S WONDERLAND Trailer (2021) Nicolas Cage VS Animatronics
Youtube ZrDPfUqbCRQ

holdmybones  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (8)  
2021-07-01 11:02:16 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


The prepared.

Fear the Clam  
Smartest (13)   Funniest (3)  
2021-07-01 11:07:29 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


The same assholes who shoot up four-year-olds' birthday parties around here. Somebody gets their feelings hurt, or feels disrespected, or learns they're not the daddy, or whatever Maury/Jerry/Rikki bullshait sets them off, and all a sudden it's Fallujah on the Charles.

Ragin' Asian [recently expired TotalFark]  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (12)  
2021-07-01 11:07:37 AM  
Oh yeah. Most areas just for beer. My wife had childhood Yinzer friends who would hold their kids' birthday parties at Charles Entertainment Cheese. Watching the drunk fights were more entertaining than the video games.

To tell an ancillary tale, at one of these parties, one of our little girl guests, I think she was seven, was shoved to the ground by a ten year old boy. Out of nowhere, her nine year old brother comes flying through the air, tackles the attacker, and just starts pummeling him. We gave him two minutes before breaking it up.

Harry Freakstorm  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2021-07-01 11:07:54 AM  
Sure... mouseketel...nyuk,nyuk,nyuk

Or if you're feeling Abbott and Costello:  Moselle which Abbott believed turned Lou in to a mouse AND Bud and Lou were cartoon mice.  Damn.  Why did I buy a EV Logic?  Now I have to plug it in after all that driving around.

Manfred J. Hattan  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (10)  
2021-07-01 11:08:32 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


Chuck E Cheese is Waffle House when you want to creep out your kids.

Serious Post on Serious Thread  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2021-07-01 11:10:43 AM  
There's a chucky cheese at the Atlantic/Barclays subway stop/mall. I really had to piss but the public bathrooms were closed. I thought I'd play some video games. I ran out screaming and pissed in the stairwell. Turns out Target has an open bathroom. Live & learn.

LarryDan43  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (2)  
2021-07-01 11:12:19 AM  
You will still be able to buy drugs in the parking lot.

chitownmike  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (1)  
2021-07-01 11:13:02 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


Who doesn't

IamTomJoad  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (4)  
2021-07-01 11:13:47 AM  
I was under the impression that a Chuck E. Cheez with a liquor license was called a Dave & Busters

Learn things every day I guess

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (11)  
2021-07-01 11:15:09 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Kids are more entertaining when they're loaded.


As are guns.

neongoats [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:18:12 AM  
This is the most Mayfield Heights story ever.

Walker [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (15)  
2021-07-01 11:19:28 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: There's a chucky cheese at the Atlantic/Barclays subway stop/mall. I really had to piss but the public bathrooms were closed. I thought I'd play some video games. I ran out screaming and pissed in the stairwell. Turns out Target has an open bathroom. Live & learn.


The one near me doesn't even let a single adult in unless they have a kid with them.
Do you know how much trouble you can get in kidnapping a kid just so you can use the bathroom?
Man, next time I'll go behind the building.

jtown  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:20:34 AM  
Hell yeah they serve beer.  Why else would parents take their kids there?

chitownmike  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:21:44 AM  

jtown: Hell yeah they serve beer.  Why else would parents take their kids there?


I just take mine to the bar

roc6783  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (2)  
2021-07-01 11:25:59 AM  
Man, y'all go to some wild ass CECs. I've been to the one by our house maybe 50 times over the last 10 years of having kids, and never seen anyone doing anything out of the ordinary. The closest was a couple getting into a shouting match as they were walking out the door. And this is the southwest corner of West Allis, not in Brookfield. Both are Milwaukee suburbs, but the median income is significantly higher in Brookfield.

Sexy Jesus  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (7)  
2021-07-01 11:27:34 AM  
Used to be my go-to for kid management: Daddy's having a beer, now go shiat in the tubes or ratfark the  skeeball. The twins would have one sitting up on the rings, catching balls and putting them through the 1000pt hole. Diapers would disappear in the overhead tubes. I felt kinda bad for the new employee who had to shimmy through that hellish Habitrail collecting them.

jtown  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (7)  
2021-07-01 11:28:11 AM  

chitownmike: jtown: Hell yeah they serve beer.  Why else would parents take their kids there?

I just take mine to the bar


i.gifer.comView Full Size

TheSteelCricket  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:31:05 AM  
I was totally paranoid about what a germ factory Check E Cheese was prior to the pandemic, no freaking way I would take my kid there now.

ElwoodCuse  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (3)  
2021-07-01 11:32:26 AM  
one of these articles once included a quote from a cop who said he responded to more calls to break up fights at chuck e cheese than the biker bar down the street

Kalyco Jack  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:34:26 AM  
shiat, subby! You actually think people take their kids to those things sober?!

big pig peaches  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:35:58 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


The kind of people who go to Chuck E Cheese.

Kalyco Jack  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (7)  
2021-07-01 11:36:03 AM  

ElwoodCuse: one of these articles once included a quote from a cop who said he responded to more calls to break up fights at chuck e cheese than the biker bar down the street


Also the band at the biker bar has fewer ex-cons in it.

Be polite walk on the right  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2021-07-01 11:39:31 AM  
when I was a kid we didn't have any Chunky Cheeses we just played with OURSELVES

/and we liked it
//angry old man

xxBirdMadGirlxx  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (11)  
2021-07-01 11:41:22 AM  

Be polite walk on the right: when I was a kid we didn't have any Chunky Cheeses we just played with OURSELVES

/and we liked it
//angry old man


So we've just completely abandoned phrasing huh?

Kalyco Jack  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2021-07-01 11:42:40 AM  

pueblonative: Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?

Mickey Mouse settling scores.


I was gonna go with 'a methed-up Ronald McDonald' but yours works too.

Disney or McD's: which has a higher body count?

Oneiros [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:43:35 AM  

bthom37: Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?

Anyone who knows that farking weasel is up to no good.

See below documentary on this topic:
[YouTube video: WILLY'S WONDERLAND Trailer (2021) Nicolas Cage VS Animatronics]


So.... they couldn't get the rights to 5 Nights at Freddie's, or they just decided the movie would drag on if they had to go a full 5 nights?

And I should rewatch From Dusk 'til Dawn

Kalyco Jack  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (8)  
2021-07-01 11:44:30 AM  

Be polite walk on the right: when I was a kid we didn't have any Chunky Cheeses we just played with OURSELVES

/and we liked it
//angry old man


Yeah don't do that at Chucky Cheese, you're liable to get put on some kind of list for life; possibly become a Fark headline.

Doctoral Candidate Zaius  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:52:27 AM  

Sentient: Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?
Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?

Makes more sense if you imagine they weren't there for a party or anything, they just came for the bar


I thought it was one of those places where you had to bring a kid with you or they wouldn't let you in. Or was that just an urban legend?

The Brains  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 11:53:52 AM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


The type of people that shouldn't be having children, yet have the most.

That's always the way it goes. Idiocracy was a prophecy.

And before any accusations of classism, I grew up in deep-red Trump country. I know these people. General Sherman never finished the job.

Lsherm [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 12:00:06 PM  

roc6783: Man, y'all go to some wild ass CECs. I've been to the one by our house maybe 50 times over the last 10 years of having kids, and never seen anyone doing anything out of the ordinary. The closest was a couple getting into a shouting match as they were walking out the door. And this is the southwest corner of West Allis, not in Brookfield. Both are Milwaukee suburbs, but the median income is significantly higher in Brookfield.


The standalone ones tend to be newer and in better neighborhoods. The ones in strip malls are older and while the neighborhoods were probably good in the 80's, they aren't now. My childhood CEC near Cincinnati was nice until about 1995, then it turned into a shiathole.

You can usually tell if it's a good CEC or a bad one by following these three simple rules:

Is it in a strip mall?
Is there a Chinese Buffet restaurant within 200 yards?
Is there an automobile without a hood parked anywhere in the parking lot?

Answer yes to any of those questions - avoid it.

Lsherm [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 12:01:05 PM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Sentient: Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?
Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?

Makes more sense if you imagine they weren't there for a party or anything, they just came for the bar

I thought it was one of those places where you had to bring a kid with you or they wouldn't let you in. Or was that just an urban legend?


Nah, there's one in Ashburn, VA and we tried to go there for lunch during the week because they were running a crazy pizza special. They wouldn't let us in because we didn't have kids with us. Maybe it varies by store?

Louisiana_Sitar_Club [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (3)  
2021-07-01 12:06:05 PM  
New business idea:  A pizza place with games, flashing lights, spinning-rides and an all-you-can-drink beer fountain.  Up-Chuck E. Cheese.

sinko swimo  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-07-01 12:13:37 PM  

Doctoral Candidate Zaius: Two incidents involved guns being brandished?

Who brings a gun to a Chuck E Cheese?


This is Ohio. Most of the population is armed. Many places have signs posted telling people not to bring weapons inside. When I moved here from NJ i had to knock off my NY attitude/mouth/hand signals. so glad we're moving to SC.

When I lived in Galloway OH USA my neighbor would have weekly card games. Every guy there was packing. One fellow showed me 5 healed bullet holes going up the front of his body. And this was a really nice HOA neighborhood.
 
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