Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Takeout) Weeners Remember that time dad began his boycott of the Chinese restaurant because they shorted him one fortune cookie? Bob Farrell screams give 'em the pickle   (thetakeout.com) divider line
    More: Weeners, Family, Mother, Father, Chair, Parent, dinner table, Friday nights, Dinner  
•       •       •

798 clicks; posted to Food » on 21 Jun 2021 at 2:20 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-21 2:40:54 PM  
lol @ the communion wine story
 
2021-06-21 2:52:21 PM  

IHadMeAVision: lol @ the communion wine story


Heh - that shiat is invariably the most god-awful wine too.  No one wants to waste the good stuff it seems.
 
2021-06-21 2:52:25 PM  
"When we'd go to Lily's, the three of us would split two entrees. One was a Sweet & Sour Chicken; the other usually being more Sweet & Sour Chicken."

lololol, so one of my friends from HK would always try to arrange a group of us school chums to have New Year's lunch or dinner, in Boston's Chinatown.

new years? is farking special. there are dishes that you would never once see any other time of year. and we're, y'know, sharing all the food family style. but... our stupid farking idiot friends?
- I gotta have the orange chicken!
- me, I need that sesame chicken!
- I want the general tsos chicken!
- sweet and sour chicken for me!

waiter: (in Cantonese to my friend and me) - "they do know those are all the SAME FARKING THING RIGHT."
me: "tsan geh? haih meh?! keuih-deih hou hou HOU chun ah" (are you seriously serious? these people are farking morans)
waiter: *laughs evilly*
 
2021-06-21 3:35:18 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Heh - that shiat is invariably the most god-awful wine too.  No one wants to waste the good stuff it seems.


I only do it if I happen to be part of the ceremony (i.e. my kids' religious milestones) and it makes me miss Methodist church with the simple grape juice.
 
2021-06-21 4:02:42 PM  

tintar: "When we'd go to Lily's, the three of us would split two entrees. One was a Sweet & Sour Chicken; the other usually being more Sweet & Sour Chicken."

lololol, so one of my friends from HK would always try to arrange a group of us school chums to have New Year's lunch or dinner, in Boston's Chinatown.

new years? is farking special. there are dishes that you would never once see any other time of year. and we're, y'know, sharing all the food family style. but... our stupid farking idiot friends?
- I gotta have the orange chicken!
- me, I need that sesame chicken!
- I want the general tsos chicken!
- sweet and sour chicken for me!

waiter: (in Cantonese to my friend and me) - "they do know those are all the SAME FARKING THING RIGHT."
me: "tsan geh? haih meh?! keuih-deih hou hou HOU chun ah" (are you seriously serious? these people are farking morans)
waiter: *laughs evilly*


I feel like you need Steven He in your life.

How Asian Parents Flex
Youtube 1M9CBvRTv5o
 
2021-06-21 4:39:18 PM  
My family was all about food.  My father was a second generation tavern owner that served lunch and dinner every day.  But he was always home at 5 for dinner. And god help my mother if dinner wasn't on the table at 5.  Not 5:03 or 5:05.  5 sharp.  My mother was not a great cook.  But she always managed to put dinner on the table at the correct time for the 8 of us.  Lots of chicken and mashed potatoes and meat loaf etc.

Dinner was often a raucous affair, with dad holding court on the issues of the day.  Discussions about Kennedy or moon landings or gas prices going over 50 cents a gallon.

Once when we were retuning from our annual pilgrimage to Wildwood, New Jersey in our Comet station wagon we were all griping about being hungry.  We passed several fast food joints, but my father maintained that "there's a whole row of them just up ahead".  Well of course the roadway turned barren right after he said this and we had to travel another hour before we finally found a place to eat.  We never let him forget about that one.
 
2021-06-21 5:47:22 PM  

rosekolodny: I feel like you need Steven He in your life.

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/1M9CBvRT​v5o?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


oh dear lord, you had me at about 8 seconds in!

/subscribed
 
2021-06-21 5:50:43 PM  
what the helllll is a dishwasher?

I don't know, it's a expensive drying-rack!
 
2021-06-21 5:52:23 PM  

tintar: "When we'd go to Lily's, the three of us would split two entrees. One was a Sweet & Sour Chicken; the other usually being more Sweet & Sour Chicken."

lololol, so one of my friends from HK would always try to arrange a group of us school chums to have New Year's lunch or dinner, in Boston's Chinatown.

new years? is farking special. there are dishes that you would never once see any other time of year. and we're, y'know, sharing all the food family style. but... our stupid farking idiot friends?
- I gotta have the orange chicken!
- me, I need that sesame chicken!
- I want the general tsos chicken!
- sweet and sour chicken for me!

waiter: (in Cantonese to my friend and me) - "they do know those are all the SAME FARKING THING RIGHT."
me: "tsan geh? haih meh?! keuih-deih hou hou HOU chun ah" (are you seriously serious? these people are farking morans)
waiter: *laughs evilly*


I mean I wouldn't say American Chinese is anything good.

But I really worry about people needing to eat chicken and beef and vegetables mixed in with a sugar slurry.

I actually had to stop reading at that line about sweet n sour chicken.
 
2021-06-21 6:24:35 PM  

Axeofjudgement: I mean I wouldn't say American Chinese is anything good.

But I really worry about people needing to eat chicken and beef and vegetables mixed in with a sugar slurry.

I actually had to stop reading at that line about sweet n sour chicken.


ours across the street is one of those "everything" places - they actually do an amazingly-decent skrimps Pad Thai, and their tomyam soups ain't half-bad neither. the wife usually gets the super-fancy sushi rolls (and you can just guess who gets stuck finishing those horrific things lololol. sweet-potato-tenpura maki? yeah, I'll eat it, but.) - and I don't mind their egg foo yung or mooshi pancakes ever' now and then, but, yeah.

I'm still remain not-unconvinced anything like steamed broccoli or veg.lomien does not contain chimkens-stock, but eh I ain't that fussy these days.

now, salt-n-pepa squibs? hells to the yeah, that I can deal with.
 
2021-06-21 8:39:15 PM  

tintar: Axeofjudgement: I mean I wouldn't say American Chinese is anything good.

But I really worry about people needing to eat chicken and beef and vegetables mixed in with a sugar slurry.

I actually had to stop reading at that line about sweet n sour chicken.

ours across the street is one of those "everything" places - they actually do an amazingly-decent skrimps Pad Thai, and their tomyam soups ain't half-bad neither. the wife usually gets the super-fancy sushi rolls (and you can just guess who gets stuck finishing those horrific things lololol. sweet-potato-tenpura maki? yeah, I'll eat it, but.) - and I don't mind their egg foo yung or mooshi pancakes ever' now and then, but, yeah.

I'm still remain not-unconvinced anything like steamed broccoli or veg.lomien does not contain chimkens-stock, but eh I ain't that fussy these days.

now, salt-n-pepa squibs? hells to the yeah, that I can deal with.


In totally guilty of going for the cheap cheap sushi with the avocado and salmon roe and good stuff. I think the only reason the buffet near my last jobsite didn't kick me out was cause 8 other people were eating the cheap shiat. When I started eating about 4 entire rolls on my own, you could see them becoming discerned.

Hey the apprentice is eating rice. Most the others are eating some deep fried shiat.

I'm the one making use of shady but delicious sushi for my money's worth.

Then I got others to try the sushi.

Never got sick from the place. The rolls aren't glorious like "I'm gonna go dinner of 2 and blow 80 to 100 on sushi" but he'll yeah for 10 bucks? Panko avocado, fake crab. White fish. And even eel? I'll murder that shiat for 10 dollars.

10 dollars of some form of sweet n sour pales alongside of 10 dollars of maki rolls
 
2021-06-22 2:33:03 AM  

Axeofjudgement: In totally guilty of going for the cheap cheap sushi with the avocado and salmon roe and good stuff. I think the only reason the buffet near my last jobsite didn't kick me out was cause 8 other people were eating the cheap shiat. When I started eating about 4 entire rolls on my own, you could see them becoming discerned.


right? I think the only non-sushi thing I get at those places is the fried "scallops" (which honestly I think they just take a big ass-punch to skate/ray wings, but, you know what, I farking love me some skate so is cool)

it's been more than a longwhile since I went to a cheap buffet, but totally yeah will I go to town on the maki!

/hmm, looks like there's one only ~8 miles from me...
 
2021-06-22 4:33:56 AM  
i never had take out Chinese until i left home. our Dad was convinced TOC was cat. he had a lot of scary ideas. people should have to pass strict tests before they can have or be responsible for children. so we had Chun King or something like that from the grocery. it was horrible. most of the stuff in supermarkets is not fit to eat, it really isn't.
 
2021-06-22 4:44:12 AM  

sinko swimo: i never had take out Chinese until i left home. our Dad was convinced TOC was cat. he had a lot of scary ideas. people should have to pass strict tests before they can have or be responsible for children. so we had Chun King or something like that from the grocery. it was horrible. most of the stuff in supermarkets is not fit to eat, it really isn't.


I should probably feel even more ashamed of myself than usual, but this really never gets old

i.pinimg.comView Full Size


and yeah, als-Kind we totally had Chun King stuff from the supermarche. ugh, just... ugh. "chop suey" was the usual bland disgusting dish t'home, flavored only with the cheapest soy sauce and topped with those crunchy fried noodles* from a can and some horribly overcooked Uncle Ben's minute-rice. to this day I still cannot farking stand canned water-chestnuts (well, unless wrapped in bacon and run thru a broiler/salamander, this is the only correct use of them.)

*no, this is NOT what "chao-mien" means. that's not what any of this means!

/great, now I want a dry-style chow-fun
//oddly enough, one of my favoritest movies of the evars is... Chong Hing Sam Lam
///aka... wait for it... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C​hungkin​g_Express
 
2021-06-22 4:50:11 AM  
only for completeness' sake, the gorgeous incomparable Wong Faye

Chungking Express - California Dreaming - Mamas & Papas
Youtube nNFxfmHjjrM


and, why yes, one time when I was cat & house sitting for some friends who went home to Ireland for a month, I TOTALLY RELABELLED ALL THEIR CANNED GOODS.

/people really don't seem to like it when you do that, go fig
 
2021-06-22 5:00:52 AM  
oh man, I'd nearly forgotten! Leung Chiu-Wai's character orders the same damn thing every damn time - "chiu-sii salad" == chef's salad.

and, ah tellyu whut, "HK Western Food" is a damsite better than a lot of diner food, and most-certes better than your garden-variety 'Murican-Chinese fake menus.

it's like, "ohai I heard you like club sanguiches, and I have no idea how to make them but I seen pictures and heard of it only by rough description, so here ya go!"

Fark user imageView Full Size


/zero farking complaints
 
2021-06-22 12:39:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-22 3:41:02 PM  

tintar: "When we'd go to Lily's, the three of us would split two entrees. One was a Sweet & Sour Chicken; the other usually being more Sweet & Sour Chicken."

lololol, so one of my friends from HK would always try to arrange a group of us school chums to have New Year's lunch or dinner, in Boston's Chinatown.

new years? is farking special. there are dishes that you would never once see any other time of year. and we're, y'know, sharing all the food family style. but... our stupid farking idiot friends?
- I gotta have the orange chicken!
- me, I need that sesame chicken!
- I want the general tsos chicken!
- sweet and sour chicken for me!

waiter: (in Cantonese to my friend and me) - "they do know those are all the SAME FARKING THING RIGHT."
me: "tsan geh? haih meh?! keuih-deih hou hou HOU chun ah" (are you seriously serious? these people are farking morans)
waiter: *laughs evilly*


The flip side of that story

I was the only white guy in a building of rented office spaces.  Landlord and all the other tenants were from HK. which isn't uncommon in Vancouver. For Chinese New Year landlord sends around an invite to all the tenants to chip in on a big dim sum lunch.  Hells yeah, I'm in. I like food.

The other tenants tried to play "gross out the gwai lo" but they could not.  Tripe with pumpkin in that spicy sauce?  Love that shiat.    Of course I'll eat the feng zuah...oh but those are DUCK feet?  Yeah, gotta try that.  Duck tongue? Never tried that before but I absolutely will. etc.

Only thing I turned my nose up at was the taro cakes in bean sauce.  Like wallpaper paste that's been congealed. Yuck. They all laughed at me that I'd eat feet and guts and and kinds of offal but was a hard pass on a what is basically a mashed root vegetable.
 
2021-06-22 9:49:15 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: The flip side of that story

I was the only white guy in a building of rented office spaces.  Landlord and all the other tenants were from HK. which isn't uncommon in Vancouver. For Chinese New Year landlord sends around an invite to all the tenants to chip in on a big dim sum lunch.  Hells yeah, I'm in. I like food.

The other tenants tried to play "gross out the gwai lo" but they could not.  Tripe with pumpkin in that spicy sauce?  Love that shiat.    Of course I'll eat the feng zuah...oh but those are DUCK feet?  Yeah, gotta try that.  Duck tongue? Never tried that before but I absolutely will. etc.

Only thing I turned my nose up at was the taro cakes in bean sauce.  Like wallpaper paste that's been congealed. Yuck. They all laughed at me that I'd eat feet and guts and and kinds of offal but was a hard pass on a what is basically a mashed root vegetable.


ha, nice csb!

me, though? I farking love taro-ennathing and turnip/radish-cake, altho'... NINEv2 and Percise1 will mock me 'cos it is near-unpossible to get lo bak go without there also being little pork bits in it...

/heh heh heh, yeah, "gross out the gwailo" is a game I am not entirely unfamiliar with
 
2021-06-23 1:38:37 AM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: tintar: "When we'd go to Lily's, the three of us would split two entrees. One was a Sweet & Sour Chicken; the other usually being more Sweet & Sour Chicken."

lololol, so one of my friends from HK would always try to arrange a group of us school chums to have New Year's lunch or dinner, in Boston's Chinatown.

new years? is farking special. there are dishes that you would never once see any other time of year. and we're, y'know, sharing all the food family style. but... our stupid farking idiot friends?
- I gotta have the orange chicken!
- me, I need that sesame chicken!
- I want the general tsos chicken!
- sweet and sour chicken for me!

waiter: (in Cantonese to my friend and me) - "they do know those are all the SAME FARKING THING RIGHT."
me: "tsan geh? haih meh?! keuih-deih hou hou HOU chun ah" (are you seriously serious? these people are farking morans)
waiter: *laughs evilly*

The flip side of that story

I was the only white guy in a building of rented office spaces.  Landlord and all the other tenants were from HK. which isn't uncommon in Vancouver. For Chinese New Year landlord sends around an invite to all the tenants to chip in on a big dim sum lunch.  Hells yeah, I'm in. I like food.

The other tenants tried to play "gross out the gwai lo" but they could not.  Tripe with pumpkin in that spicy sauce?  Love that shiat.    Of course I'll eat the feng zuah...oh but those are DUCK feet?  Yeah, gotta try that.  Duck tongue? Never tried that before but I absolutely will. etc.

Only thing I turned my nose up at was the taro cakes in bean sauce.  Like wallpaper paste that's been congealed. Yuck. They all laughed at me that I'd eat feet and guts and and kinds of offal but was a hard pass on a what is basically a mashed root vegetable.


I'd say you made the right decision.  Taro was a definite, "Ok... no." for me.  Tried it once.  Your assessment is pretty much correct.
 
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.