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(Salon)   Why are we still judging women for having casual sex?   (salon.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Self-esteem, Human sexual behavior, Sexual intercourse, Human sexuality, Gender, Woman, people's sexual behavior, casual sex  
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508 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 21 Jun 2021 at 4:15 AM (24 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



83 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-06-20 10:56:29 PM  
Men are monsters and will never change.

Next.
 
2021-06-20 11:01:22 PM  
Why, hellooooo, Phoebe...

mediaproxy.salon.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-20 11:08:34 PM  
Because they're not having it with us
 
2021-06-20 11:09:33 PM  
Jealousy/Envy (I can never remember which is which). A judgy man wants them to be having casual sex with him (and usually only him), while a judgy woman wants to be having the casual sex but feels she can't because $reason.

/I have more questionable takes if anyone wants to hear them.
 
2021-06-20 11:10:43 PM  
Insecurity?
 
2021-06-20 11:20:31 PM  
Oh my god!

Women having casual sex?! That's disgusting! Where?

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: That's Disgusting
Youtube y-ih6dcuaYc
 
2021-06-20 11:59:09 PM  
Honestly?


Because you touch yourself at night.
 
2021-06-21 12:11:35 AM  
Because culturally we judge women for:
Having too few kids
Having too many kids
Being divorced
Not being married
Being single
Being the bread winner
Enjoying sex
Not enjoying sex
Being emotional
Being unemotional
Being successful
Being confident
Being in charge
Being independent
Working
Not working
Being self actualized
Not smiling
Not flirty
Not giving a fark what you think

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
 
2021-06-21 12:48:00 AM  
Because men expect and desire unplowed lands as they play the field, and controlling women is just part of what God wants.
 
2021-06-21 1:42:54 AM  
I don't pretend to have the foggiest idea what women really feel or want, but if it's anything like the incessant horniness I've felt pretty much continuously since I was 13, I say let the farking flow.
 
2021-06-21 2:53:37 AM  

sithon: Because they're not having it with us


We have a winner.

/also other women contribute to this because they don't like the competition.
 
2021-06-21 3:52:15 AM  

sithon: Because they're not having it with us


nice try, but no. Men are perfectly capable of calling women names after she has slept with them. People are simply awful.
 
2021-06-21 4:02:22 AM  
Because if there is one thing Jesus cannot abide, it is a woman of questionable sexual history.
 
2021-06-21 4:42:34 AM  
There is the aspect of male investment in raising his children. A woman can be pretty well certain she's the mother. Purely biologically, a male who invests their resources in child rearing has an interest in being confident they are his children. Conceptually, he also wants to maximize the number of surviving children.

I don't offer that as a moral or ethical justification, but as a structural basis that cultural norms may have borrowed from.
 
2021-06-21 5:14:03 AM  

educated: Honestly?


Because you touch yourself at night.


Based on how many times I've heard that answer I am convinced that I make the world go 'round.

/I never said it was a good world
 
2021-06-21 5:47:26 AM  

sithon: Because they're not having it with us


THIS
 
2021-06-21 6:07:16 AM  
I though it was because for a man to get laid he has to have some qualities like looks, charm, or money. All a woman needs is to be able to say "yes". Hardly challenging. How much respect do you give for something that requires no effort at all?
 
2021-06-21 6:13:27 AM  
Who is "we" in TFH, subby?

"We" all think your mom is pretty spiffy.
 
2021-06-21 6:26:37 AM  
I mean, I'm not judging them..?

/ I'm kind of envious of them
// I'm also kind of trash, which is why I'm not having sex :/
 
2021-06-21 6:32:23 AM  
Because we're hypocrites.
 
2021-06-21 6:33:09 AM  

Nidiot: I though it was because for a man to get laid he has to have some qualities like looks, charm, or money. All a woman needs is to be able to say "yes". Hardly challenging. How much respect do you give for something that requires no effort at all?


Patronize Wal-Mart to take in women who are mothers. It is amazing what men won't stick their dick into. anything goes. anything. women with mustaches, women so overweight they can barely walk, you name it.
 
2021-06-21 6:37:27 AM  
Men saying that society shouldn't slut-shame aren't doing that for the benefit of the women who are promiscuous; they are doing it so women keep being promiscuous because that is what they want. They do not care one whit if that harms the women who are promiscuous. In short, there are plenty of people in the world who will use you (then discard you when you're used up) if you let them.
 
2021-06-21 6:37:38 AM  
Assuming we are, we shouldn't be.

The backwards mentality behind it stems from looking down on what is perceived as taking the path of least resistance. For men, the path of least resistance is to stay home and not get laid. This is looked upon as being a loser.

For women, the path of least resistance is to give into the many offers of sex they supposedly get on daily basis. This is looked upon as being a "slut."

If we found out that Linda Tripp (i.e., a homely woman) managed to get miles of Magic-Mike quality dong over the course of her life, I think we might respect her for that, deservedly or not.
 
2021-06-21 6:47:38 AM  

Yankees Team Gynecologist: f we found out that Linda Tripp (i.e., a homely woman) managed to get miles of Magic-Mike quality dong over the course of her life, I think we might respect her for that, deservedly or not.


There are plenty of males who'll do women who look worse than Linda Tripp because they think it's better than using their hand to get off. Even the good looking ones will if there isn't any better option that night.
 
2021-06-21 7:01:22 AM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size


It all depends on whether or not you care what other people say.
 
2021-06-21 7:02:54 AM  
Who's doing that? In my experience it's other women that mostly slut shame.
 
2021-06-21 7:12:14 AM  
Who is "we"?

I have a particular friend who loves posting, "Why do all men believe X?" on Facebook, where X is a thing that zero men I know who believe anything close to.  I'm sure I'll be seeing this linked soon.
 
2021-06-21 7:14:39 AM  

Befuddled: Men saying that society shouldn't slut-shame aren't doing that for the benefit of the women who are promiscuous; they are doing it so women keep being promiscuous because that is what they want. They do not care one whit if that harms the women who are promiscuous. In short, there are plenty of people in the world who will use you (then discard you when you're used up) if you let them.


Username checks out.
 
2021-06-21 7:19:28 AM  

EvilEgg: sithon: Because they're not having it with us

nice try, but no. Men are perfectly capable of calling women names after she has slept with them. People are simply awful.


It was a joke. Labelling people who enjoy sex is stupid.
 
2021-06-21 8:01:09 AM  
Could it be... hedonism?
 
2021-06-21 8:23:59 AM  
For women, casual sex is usually a poor decision.  There is too much risk compared to the 10 minute reward.
 
2021-06-21 8:27:36 AM  

Nidiot: I though it was because for a man to get laid he has to have some qualities like looks, charm, or money. All a woman needs is to be able to say "yes". Hardly challenging. How much respect do you give for something that requires no effort at all?


Well that's obvious bullshiat.

We've seen a myriad of instances where the woman hasn't even said "yes" first.
 
2021-06-21 8:34:02 AM  
Because you have men who are married for 20+ years who do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, kid tuck ins, etc, but they are completely ignored and are in sexless marriages.
 
2021-06-21 8:36:30 AM  

Befuddled: Men saying that society shouldn't slut-shame aren't doing that for the benefit of the women who are promiscuous; they are doing it so women keep being promiscuous because that is what they want. They do not care one whit if that harms the women who are promiscuous. In short, there are plenty of people in the world who will use you (then discard you when you're used up) if you let them.


It would appear that the idea of 'sexual liberation' for women is really just pressure to 'have more sex' which does essentially result in giving men more of what men want. If a woman opts to be more chaste, she is unlikely to be supported for her choice, or for taking control of her sex life, she is going to be shamed for being frigid or a cock-tease etc.

My favourite thing to remember: just because you are desired does not mean you are valued.
 
2021-06-21 8:43:12 AM  

sinko swimo: Nidiot: I though it was because for a man to get laid he has to have some qualities like looks, charm, or money. All a woman needs is to be able to say "yes". Hardly challenging. How much respect do you give for something that requires no effort at all?

Patronize Wal-Mart to take in women who are mothers. It is amazing what men won't stick their dick into. anything goes. anything. women with mustaches, women so overweight they can barely walk, you name it.


Which is why it amuses me when you see a woman act all superior on the basis that bunch of men want to bang her, yeah, most of those men would also happily put their dick in a hole in a watermelon, it's not exactly something to be proud of.
 
2021-06-21 8:47:20 AM  
Part of the problem is that men are desperate for physical human contact, but too often conflate it with sex and sexual contact.
 
2021-06-21 9:12:37 AM  
I always heard stories about college girls, and sorority girls, and couldn't wait to get in on that action.

Then I went to college, met a lot of college/sorority girls, and I don't know if they were having a lot of casual sex, but I know none of them were having casual sex with me.

Turns out the problem might be me.
 
2021-06-21 9:17:02 AM  

Gramma: For women, casual sex is usually a poor decision.  There is too much risk compared to the 10 minute reward.

Ten

minutes?
 
2021-06-21 9:21:30 AM  

buntz: I always heard stories about college girls, and sorority girls, and couldn't wait to get in on that action.

Then I went to college, met a lot of college/sorority girls, and I don't know if they were having a lot of casual sex, but I know none of them were having casual sex with me.

Turns out the problem might be me.


I think every man is sure there is someone else out there getting more than they are. I'll bet there are male porn studs that are jealous of some other guy because he got more in one day than he did.
 
2021-06-21 9:22:40 AM  

Bootleg: Jealousy/Envy (I can never remember which is which). A judgy man wants them to be having casual sex with him (and usually only him), while a judgy woman wants to be having the casual sex but feels she can't because $reason.

/I have more questionable takes if anyone wants to hear them.


I always remember the diference from the Simpsons:
Envy is wanting something someone else has.
Jealousy is fear that someone is taking what you have.
 
2021-06-21 9:26:20 AM  

steve_wmn: I think every man is sure there is someone else out there getting more than they are. I'll bet there are male porn studs that are jealous of some other guy because he got more in one day than he did.


Well, I was having none.

So I would have to assume that some guys in college were definitely having more sex than me.
 
2021-06-21 9:29:43 AM  
It's not judging, it's identifying. It always has been. Cuts out some of the guesswork for lazy dudes.
 
2021-06-21 9:34:49 AM  

sinko swimo: Nidiot: I though it was because for a man to get laid he has to have some qualities like looks, charm, or money. All a woman needs is to be able to say "yes". Hardly challenging. How much respect do you give for something that requires no effort at all?

Patronize Wal-Mart to take in women who are mothers. It is amazing what men won't stick their dick into. anything goes. anything. women with mustaches, women so overweight they can barely walk, you name it.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-21 9:43:55 AM  

Gramma: For women, casual sex is usually a poor decision.  There is too much risk compared to the 10 minute reward.


Yep. This is why it became okay to slut shame women in the first place (and why women are just as likely if not more so to do it) - women have always had a lot to lose, especially since no birth control is 100%, and the notion that it is a sign of poor judgment dies hard.
 
2021-06-21 9:55:23 AM  
It's so empowering to realize my body is only as worthwhile as a melon. If only I'd known sooner.
 
2021-06-21 10:25:22 AM  

ytterbium: It's so empowering to realize my body is only as worthwhile as a melon. If only I'd known sooner.


Hey honey, how you dewing?

/I feel bad for even typing a pun that bad
 
2021-06-21 10:29:34 AM  

Nana's Vibrator: [i.kym-cdn.com image 850x461]

It all depends on whether or not you care what other people say.


Then wash it Ash!
 
2021-06-21 10:34:58 AM  

wademh: There is the aspect of male investment in raising his children. A woman can be pretty well certain she's the mother. Purely biologically, a male who invests their resources in child rearing has an interest in being confident they are his children. Conceptually, he also wants to maximize the number of surviving children.

I don't offer that as a moral or ethical justification, but as a structural basis that cultural norms may have borrowed from.


And it's complete and utter post-hoc rationalized bullshiat.
 
2021-06-21 10:37:47 AM  

Kattungali: And it's complete and utter post-hoc rationalized bullshiat.


Care to propose an alternative theory?
 
2021-06-21 10:51:21 AM  
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