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(Fast Company)   "We need to stop referring to work as 'family'." Um, when did we start?   (fastcompany.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Love, Thought, 2006 singles, Friendship, bad work environment, Mind, Company, Duct tape  
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546 clicks; posted to Business » on 20 Jun 2021 at 2:15 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
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2021-06-20 11:21:20 AM  
Being stuck with people who you'd generally not chose to be stuck with for large amounts of time?

Subby and I grew up in entirely different kinds of families.
 
2021-06-20 11:35:35 AM  

arrogantbastich: Being stuck with people who you'd generally not chose to be stuck with for large amounts of time?


And that right there is the real-life definition of family.  For far too many people anyway.
 
2021-06-20 12:14:56 PM  
I often see my coworkers more than my family. We rely on and trust each on a regular basis. We get our tails kicked in together, and can even do a sing song in the middle of it. I know about their trials and tribulations, and if they need something outside of work, for damn sure I'm there. We bust each others' chops, but they're there for me, and visa versa. Kitchens form crews that are family. Screwed up, riddled with substance abuse, and often contentious to Hell and back, but still family. Stress and the long hours, and odd highs of doing something really well with a team you trust does that.

It's not the company we love, it's the crew that loves each other. People are family. And even if they leave the company, they're still family.
 
2021-06-20 12:18:07 PM  
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2021-06-20 12:19:08 PM  

hubiestubert: I often see my coworkers more than my family. We rely on and trust each on a regular basis. We get our tails kicked in together, and can even do a sing song in the middle of it. I know about their trials and tribulations, and if they need something outside of work, for damn sure I'm there. We bust each others' chops, but they're there for me, and visa versa. Kitchens form crews that are family. Screwed up, riddled with substance abuse, and often contentious to Hell and back, but still family. Stress and the long hours, and odd highs of doing something really well with a team you trust does that.

It's not the company we love, it's the crew that loves each other. People are family. And even if they leave the company, they're still family.


It's a family in the sense that all the kids are putting up with and working around a dad that's a malignant narcissist.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2021-06-20 12:20:00 PM  
When you started working at Olive Garden, Subby.
 
2021-06-20 12:33:53 PM  
We see this often in TV shows where a person's co-workers become a substitute family. Need to separate the two. Family is family for life, coworkers come and go.
 
2021-06-20 12:57:21 PM  

runwiz: We see this often in TV shows where a person's co-workers become a substitute family. Need to separate the two. Family is family for life, coworkers come and go.


Most of them do. I have a friend at work that I've worked with for 23 years now and she's closer to me than most of my family.

That is the exception to the rule, though.
 
2021-06-20 1:19:10 PM  
My family doesn't send me a letter every year stating that while I will be a member of the family for the following year, such membership constitutes no guarantee of continued membership when the year ends.
 
2021-06-20 1:54:42 PM  
Depends on who is usually doing the family titling. If it's the company you're definitely about to be farked over or are in the current process of getting farked.

The only other time they do this is in the aftermath of an active shooting or death at work where they use the part of the family line to acknowledge that the survivors need to get back to work but no, they won't actually improve the mental health care benefit.
 
2021-06-20 2:36:57 PM  
If your surname is Cathey, it is.

Pretty much everwhere else? You are just another serf.
 
2021-06-20 2:40:34 PM  
What if your parents own the business & siblings work there too?
 
2021-06-20 2:46:10 PM  
I've worked at places with rampant nepotism. The best way up is in.
 
2021-06-20 2:48:01 PM  
Right this is similar to when they say "we're a team, we're all in this together"

/were we "all in this together" when Mario (former owner) cashed the check for selling his company?
 
2021-06-20 2:51:03 PM  

hubiestubert: I often see my coworkers more than my family. We rely on and trust each on a regular basis. We get our tails kicked in together, and can even do a sing song in the middle of it. I know about their trials and tribulations, and if they need something outside of work, for damn sure I'm there. We bust each others' chops, but they're there for me, and visa versa. Kitchens form crews that are family. Screwed up, riddled with substance abuse, and often contentious to Hell and back, but still family. Stress and the long hours, and odd highs of doing something really well with a team you trust does that.

It's not the company we love, it's the crew that loves each other. People are family. And even if they leave the company, they're still family.


When it comes to restaurants, this is 100% true. I haven't worked in the industry since college, but it's an experience that everyone should have.
 
2021-06-20 2:52:44 PM  
What about "murder-suicide"?

Too dark?
 
2021-06-20 3:32:13 PM  
Unfortunately, this is the case where I work. All emails from the president and others address us as family. It's as insulting as it is manipulative. I sent my supervisor 10 articles similar to the one here asking him to stop following the practice. He hasn't done it since, which is nice. I wish the president would follow suit. We are not a family.
 
2021-06-20 3:43:37 PM  
FAMILIES DON'T FIRE PEOPLE

Uh, yeah they do.  I fired my stepdad and his entire family years ago.  Right now pretty much my entire family is on furlough since the insurrection (though that was just the tip of it).  Most of my extended family is part-time, even as far as extended families go.

It's kind of sad but a lot of people do feel more at home and welcome among their coworkers.  Some componies do, if fact, love their employees more than some of their employees' families do.


(Now, what is a little silly is when management tries to push "family" terminology as part of their corporate culture.)
 
2021-06-20 3:52:44 PM  
If the companies kept employees through thick and thin, paid them well, encouraged upwards movement, and paid them a retirement pension...then they may build up enough loyalty to call them family.

As it is now, it is wayyy to clear that the labor force is poorly paid and utterly expendable, so calling it a family is just a cheap attempt to emotionally manipulate people to stay and suffer in the name of loyalty that will absolutely not be reciprocated.
 
2021-06-20 4:02:38 PM  
Smacks of something out of a management book where the person in charge read the opening paragraph of a chapter and skimmed over the implementation section. Something like 'treat your employees like they were family you wish to see, lavish attention on, and send presents too on holidays.' But instead of treating people well, management just took away 'call people family and you can exploit them for cheap labor.'
 
2021-06-20 4:25:00 PM  
It's very common to call someone a "work wife" or a "work nephew".
 
2021-06-20 4:37:09 PM  
FTFA:

FAMILIES DON'T FIRE PEOPLE

LOL. Now who looks naive.
 
2021-06-20 5:14:52 PM  

thornhill: FTFA:

FAMILIES DON'T FIRE PEOPLE

LOL. Now who looks naive.


They "empower them to seek new challenges and achieve new goals" or some horsesh*t.
 
2021-06-20 6:57:18 PM  

runwiz: We see this often in TV shows where a person's co-workers become a substitute family. Need to separate the two. Family is family for life, coworkers come and go.


There is a reason TV and Movies like to stress that work is family, another way of keeping the working class working long stupid hours for low pay
 
2021-06-20 7:01:12 PM  

Fara Clark: Right this is similar to when they say "we're a team, we're all in this together"

/were we "all in this together" when Mario (former owner) cashed the check for selling his company?


I work for a owner who purchased the company from another guy, everyone to a fault for the first year or two was extremely loyal to the ex owner (those who worked for him) and it was simply they liked the guy, he never gave raises, no holiday pay, no health or other benefits and when he sold out (making a good profit) he didnt share in his gain, didn't even buy the stores pizza but hey they were family.  

we are family is a bunch of crap
 
2021-06-20 8:19:01 PM  
I've learned too many times that people are just out for themselves, regardless of what setting (corporate, academic, or government). It's getting so hard to help people out, especially when it comes time for me to ask, it's always, "oh man, I would, but...".

/I hate everyone today.
 
2021-06-20 8:47:51 PM  
Fast and the Furious 17.
 
2021-06-20 9:51:28 PM  

arrogantbastich: Being stuck with people who you'd generally not chose to be stuck with for large amounts of time?

Subby and I grew up in entirely different kinds of families.


Except your work "family" can let you for for any reason, with zero warning.
I need to feel safe and valued at work, but I don't need them to be "family".
 
2021-06-20 10:14:46 PM  
Yeah, the kind of family with 8 molestery uncles
 
2021-06-20 11:29:35 PM  
This entire article is a big "no, duh". I owe loyalty to no company and anyone that does is a sucker. What makes me mad is how companies expect you to give them a two week notice before you leave whereas they'd fire you tomorrow. I get no two week firing notice.
 
2021-06-21 4:01:33 AM  
As an employer, I've asked my fellow business partners to stop using that language. It's manipulative and dishonest.

Having said that, most of us are very close. In the before times, I hung out with a couple different sets of co-workers outside of the office (I became partner during the pandemic) a couple times a week, at least. We help eachother move; have backyard fires; play sports together; go to the gym together; go camping together, etc. We genuinely really enjoy each other's company and that helps the days go by just a little easier

For instance, three of us got our second doses on Saturday. Later that night, all three of us and our partners all went for a fire and dinner at another former co-worker's house. I was the first to leave around midnight.

We work our employees hard and pay them accordingly. My firm (typically) pays for two, two-night retreats each year (summer and winter), all costs covered including food, transportation, activities like golf, skiing, and boating excursions, hotel/camping, booze, and even at least a couple forms of legal and semi-legal drugs.

Great colleagues make a huge difference and while we're not family, many of us are genuine friends. Becoming a boss has made things a little more complicated but because I started as a rank and file employee, I'm probably given a little more leeway. That may change and I'm okay with that, so long as he other employees continue to bond with eachother.

Just be good to your employees and they'll be good to you. It's not rocket surgery.

/It's 3am and I'm tired, so apologies if this was a little unfocused
//major chills from the second dose
 
2021-06-21 6:55:17 AM  

omg bbq: arrogantbastich: Being stuck with people who you'd generally not chose to be stuck with for large amounts of time?

Subby and I grew up in entirely different kinds of families.

Except your work "family" can let you for for any reason, with zero warning.
I need to feel safe and valued at work, but I don't need them to be "family".


Well, it's generally not 'zero' warning but imagine coming out to your highly religious parents. Or as liberal to better red than dead parents. Or something as simple as when I saw someone's dad make them eat a bratwurst when they desperately wanted to be a vegetarian. That was the last night they ever saw them. Over a farking bratwurst!
 
2021-06-21 7:35:48 AM  
I refer to my real family as "associates."
 
2021-06-21 6:11:33 PM  
Love the work, pay is acceptable, though not overly generous, insurance is "meh", and the coworkers are good folks to work with. I consider none of this "family". When I go to work, it is to get paid for doing something I enjoy, with people I can count on. When I move on, it will be a bit sad to leave some folks I have worked with for a long time, but I will not miss the company one little bit. It is a large, impersonal, bureacracy-heavy behemoth, and doesn't know or care about me. I have no loyalty to it, and it certainly has none to me. I do the work, they pay me.
 
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