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(YouTube) Hero Dear Daddy, here we are again. We lost too many Dads this year. I'm still here, so what would you say to your Dad today if you could   (youtube.com) divider line
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925 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 20 Jun 2021 at 7:00 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-06-20 12:52:45 AM  
This is the 14th year that I have been posting this thread. They are somehow cathartic for many in a very FARK way. Cafarktic? That should be a thing.
I usually post links from past years. This year I think we'll let you find those on your own. 
I am saying goodbye to too many father's that I know this year.
Many saying goodbye, heart-breakingly, via facetime.
This one might be a rough read. Hang in there kids.
 
2021-06-20 1:12:38 AM  

spontn80: This is the 14th year that I have been posting this thread. They are somehow cathartic for many in a very FARK way. Cafarktic? That should be a thing.
I usually post links from past years. This year I think we'll let you find those on your own.
I am saying goodbye to too many father's that I know this year.
Many saying goodbye, heart-breakingly, via facetime.
This one might be a rough read. Hang in there kids.


♥♥
 
2021-06-20 1:20:21 AM  
Bathia_Mapes:
♥♥
butt bumps!
 
2021-06-20 1:30:37 AM  

spontn80: Bathia_Mapes:
♥♥
butt bumps!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-20 2:06:59 AM  
And yet again, I want a 12-string
 
2021-06-20 2:36:39 AM  
Dad died last September. His birthday was this week, the first since he died, and tomorrow's the first Father's Day.

I miss you, Dad.
 
2021-06-20 3:18:37 AM  

wearsmanyhats: And yet again, I want a 12-string


life is too short to do without
I found this recently
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-20 4:12:02 AM  
I'm older than my dad was when he died. I still can't really wrap my head around the fact that when I think of my dad I'm now thinking of a younger man.

What would I say to him? I'd tell him that I love him and still want to make him proud. I'd want him to know that even though I've been through some things and I'm nowhere near where he was in life when he died, I'm still trying to push forward and be a good man.

I still think about him every day. I miss you, dad, and I love you.
 
2021-06-20 5:48:40 AM  
I would tell him I'd finally learned to play his favorite type of chord melody guitar pieces, and play him a song.
 
2021-06-20 7:07:29 AM  
The same things I was lucky enough to say before he died 5 years ago: Thanks for being my dad, thanks for loving me, I love you.
 
2021-06-20 7:08:26 AM  
Lucky to have a great dad who's still with us. The pandemic has kept us an ocean apart, but the kids and I FaceTimed with him earlier. He got to start Father's Day having some Frozen songs screamed in his face, so he was very pretend pleased.
 
2021-06-20 7:09:01 AM  
Dad, you died when I was two. I wish I had known you, I think I would be a better man and father myself had I had you to guide me. I can only hope I get my children to be half the man I know you were
 
2021-06-20 7:14:35 AM  
thanks for leaving me.  to my stepdad im sorry it took 20 years to appreciate what you did rip 2018
 
2021-06-20 7:23:58 AM  
"Miss you, dad.  I'm going to reload my sniper rifle and try again."

Just kidding.  I wouldn't waste my time on him other than to say "F*ck you!!" to his face.

Happy Father's Day, everyone.
 
2021-06-20 7:24:34 AM  
The happy thoughts in this thread about dads makes me glad that there are a lot of dads in the world who didn't actively try to screw over their kids.
 
2021-06-20 7:26:44 AM  
you deserved better.
 
2021-06-20 7:33:14 AM  
More than 10 years since he passed and I still regret that I was on the other side of the world and couldn't get back in time before he was gone. I still miss him but I appreciate him more as time goes by. A flawed man but true to himself and he did his best. That was good enough for me and I hope I can live up to him.
 
2021-06-20 7:33:27 AM  
I'm trying to be a better father than he was.
Not a high bar to clear.

But I had some good men in my life and my mom did a great job on her own too so it's all good, I'll honor them today.

Cheers for those of you celebrating the day as intended, hopefully down the road I'll have earned those accolades. :)
 
2021-06-20 7:33:37 AM  
My Dad died early in 2019. He was elderly, and hadn't been well for some time, so it was not at all unexpected.

He had his faults, but overall he had a life well lived, and made a success of himself while coming from a very poor background. He's an inspirational figure in that regard.

Funny thing is, I'm sort of glad he went before the pandemic, because it meant I was able to see him one last time before he died. We had a family Christmas in 2018, said our goodbyes knowing it was probably going to be the last time we saw each other, and parted. Less than two months later, he was gone. I was able to go back for the funeral (I was about to leave for the airport when my brother called to say Dad had slipped away) and grieve.

He was a humanist, so I'm not going to say he's up in Heaven or any of that shiat, but Dad, wherever you are--or aren't--you did a pretty good job with us. I just wish you'd owned up a bit before often to Mum when you snacked on the left over roast beef or pork at night instead of blaming it on us :)
 
2021-06-20 7:34:12 AM  

The Crepes of Wrath: The happy thoughts in this thread about dads makes me glad that there are a lot of dads in the world who didn't actively try to screw over their kids.


Yeah.  I usually stay out of these threads because I don't have anything nice to say.
 
2021-06-20 7:38:22 AM  
The worst is having your Dad die when you are 10 or so. Just old enough to bond, then that dreaded day when you come home from riding your bike, and your house is full of crying relatives, and you get ushered into a back room for a "talk".
 
2021-06-20 7:38:42 AM  
I lost my Dad back in October of 2010, so it's been a while.  He was 30 days from turning 70.

As more & more time passes, I realized that I never thanked him for teaching me some of the basic skills in life, or "life's lessons" to be exact:  to ride a bike, to drive a stick shift, to handle a firearm, how to cast the line on the open-faced Spincast fishing pole, to know right from wrong (common sense things), how to work on your own car...& sooooo many other little things a person needs to know in this day & age.

He was very much a "people person" & enjoyed playing golf with his other friends OFTEN, so I know he wouldn't have survived 2020.  In a strange way, I'm thankful for that!  But on the other hand, I lost my Sister last year (my Mother remarried so it's not his daughter) so seeing yet another family member passing would just be...too...much!  And seeing all the advertising on TV, radio, internet about Father's day...well...it just gets to me!  "What will you get YOUR Dad for Father's day"? they say.  How about flowers for his headstone, I say.  But I can't even do that because I live in a different part of the country from where his plot is, so it is what it is!

I miss you, Dad!  I just want you to know that I'm doing okay.  I've moved a third of the way across the country since you passed so I now have a new home, new job, new friends, new Mustang out front...I'm alright now!  Really, I'm alright & life is good here!  You've taught me to take care of myself & THAT'S a big deal to me...& IT WORKED!
 
2021-06-20 7:38:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-20 7:41:49 AM  
You destroyed the family, thanks for that. I was bitter for a long time, but I've come to accept it - as if there's a choice in the matter.

You live halfway across the country and we seldom speak. There's no acrimony, but we aren't close. You don't know your granddaughter other than through pictures seen on social media. I'm ok with this.
 
2021-06-20 7:45:36 AM  
My boyfriend and I will be heading over to my parents' house later for lunch, though the weather means Dad won't be grilling this year (BOOOOOOO). I'll say the same thing to him I say every Father's Day.

"Hey, Dad. I love you. Happy Father's Day."

My sister and I are incredibly fortunate to have a wonderful father in our lives. Some of my friends (and my boyfriend) can't say the same. He can be a pain in the ass sometimes, and he gets on mom's nerves because he's always harping at her about taking better care of herself (she has COPD and CHF), but it's because he cares.

I wish some of you didn't have to go through the things you did. I read these threads every year and feel an immense amount of sorrow for what you had to suffer because no one should have to live like that. For those that have/had a great father like I've got, we should count ourselves incredibly lucky.
 
2021-06-20 7:50:45 AM  
Dear Sperm Donor,

F*ck you.

Bye,
Kitty
 
2021-06-20 7:51:22 AM  

spontn80: wearsmanyhats: And yet again, I want a 12-string

life is too short to do without
I found this recently
[Fark user image 850x478]


Nice!
 
2021-06-20 7:51:45 AM  
"Hey dad, I finished typing up that article you're going to submit to [nationally distributed magazine]".

In fact, I'll tell him that today when he comes over.

Snark aside, I understand though.  He's 83, and every time someone can't get ahold of him for a day I end up having to drive over to check on him because I'm the only family close enough.  I get that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach, because the distaffbopper and I discovered her mother dead at 50 under the same kind of circumstances.  He'll say "I'm not dead yet" in a humorous tone, but we know it's inevitable that one of these times, that's not going to be true, and I'm dreading that day.
 
2021-06-20 7:54:02 AM  
Don't know why you didn't make your way 5 hours south to watch your first granddaughter graduate. But your undiagnosed autistic traits give me some idea. You're lucky my wife and I brought our children to you enough times over the years that they have positive memories of you. You're also lucky I've carved out a version of you in my head that portrays you as someone still worth the effort. Stay off the 24 hour news channels.
 
2021-06-20 7:55:06 AM  
I'll see him in an hour or so. I might kick him in the shin for fun.
 
2021-06-20 7:58:46 AM  

undernova: Don't know why you didn't make your way 5 hours south to watch your first granddaughter graduate. But your undiagnosed autistic traits give me some idea. You're lucky my wife and I brought our children to you enough times over the years that they have positive memories of you. You're also lucky I've carved out a version of you in my head that portrays you as someone still worth the effort. Stay off the 24 hour news channels.


This.  That CNN and MSNBC shiat will rot your brain.
 
2021-06-20 8:02:46 AM  
He had dementia. He lost his my backwards. He remembered older things but not more recent events. The last time I saw him he didn't recognize me. Mom introduced me and he was surprised. He said, "How did you get so big?" I read part of a Robert Burns poem at his funeral.

"My father was a farmer
Upon the Carrick border.
Carefully he bred me
in decency and order.
He bade me play a manly part
Though I had ne'er a farthing.
For without an honest manly heart
no man is worth regarding."
 
2021-06-20 8:10:11 AM  
I would thank him for his infinite love and care for us. We all took it for granted. I would tell him how much I love and miss him, even though he's been gone for 25 years now. I hope my daughter finds as good a man to marry when the time comes for her to make a choice.
 
2021-06-20 8:11:06 AM  
My father's last words to me before he died was, "I hate you! I hope you die!" I have said before if there was one thing I could go back in time and change, it would just be to simply say, "I am sorry." to him.

Do not let this happen to you.
 
2021-06-20 8:11:21 AM  
After reading these threads over many years, I often wondered what I would write. I will write what I know.

Being a father requires a sense of obligation and commitment. I am the father I wanted to be.

My father, and his father, and my brother, my mother's father, and my nephew have all embraced a family tradition of finding themselves, breaking vows and obligations, and divorcing the mother of their children. My mother has married such men multiple times, as did her mother. My sister married one too. So what is wrong with me?

All of them have withheld support from their children, reasoning that if the kids had to work hard and find their own way, then their kids should also have to. It builds character, you see. And if the kids have to skip college, or go to college beholden to the kindness of strangers, rather than by that of their parents, well, that is a family tradition too.

Mostly, and I mean 90%, all of these men are "nice people" who divorced more or less amicably after having affairs or just being uncomfortable with the vows they took. What I know is that I did not want to be like them. I am not perfect, and my children do not always like me, but they do respect me. I just never put myself before them or their mother and never waffled out of a responsibility because it would have made me feel good. At the very least, I have put an end to four and probably more generations of weak men who left their families to follow another woman and neglect their children.

It has meant a lot of sacrifices and hard choices. As recently as last week, I had to tell my ambitious self that taking big risks is one way to screw up my life and that of my family. I won't allow myself a mid-life crisis until my duties are fulfilled.

There is a part two....
 
2021-06-20 8:12:16 AM  
My dad has been gone for 26 years. My parents were born and raised in Italy so if I could have him back even for just a brief instant, I would greet him with a huge hug and kiss him on both cheek like I used to do when he was alive. Then I would ask him his secret personal recipe for making the best prosciutto !

Mi manchi papà.
 
2021-06-20 8:15:38 AM  
I spoke to my dad yesterday. He wants me to empty out his storage unit into my basement because he's tired of paying for it.

Happy Father's Day
 
2021-06-20 8:16:48 AM  
My dad died at 78 of lung cancer. When he was diagnosed, we knew he only had months, but I was busy and kept putting off going to visit him for weeks. Then, I got the call that he had been admitted to ICU and probably wasn't coming out. I drove all night (600 miles) to get there. When I came in, he was unconscious but still holding on. Our family friend who had stayed overnight with him said "John's here". He opened his eyes for a few seconds and looked at me, then closed them again. He couldn't speak, but his eyes said, "I love you. Goodbye." After that he never woke up again and died a few hours later. I feel sure he held on just to see me.

That's haunted me since. I fell guilty for not going to see him earlier, but amazingly loved, and honored to be the last thing he saw in this world.

That's a father's love.
 
2021-06-20 8:17:31 AM  
My father died 30 years ago. My FIL died 6 years before him.

They were both good men, good fathers, and loving husbands.

I have never regretted knowing them...
 
2021-06-20 8:20:11 AM  
You've been gone over 20 years. I still miss you.

Still think my degree was worthless? I, unlike my brothers, am doing well.
 
2021-06-20 8:22:09 AM  
Father's Day has little meaning for me, unfortunately. My biological father died in prison while I was a toddler. My stepfather was an abusive, sadistic monster who, I believe, is also dead at this point. I won't demean the day by railing at dead men.

Instead, I'll celebrate my stepson's father, and enjoy the company of my stepson. My stepson's father is a good man, and one of the things about which I'm proud is that I've managed to be both a good stepfather to his son and a friend to him. I didn't have much training in the job, but as they're both happy to see & hear from me on a regular basis, I'll take that as a win and look forward to my stepson's usual call on this day (after he calls his dad.)
 
2021-06-20 8:25:09 AM  
I want to add to what I said above: in hating anyone that was close to you, think if you love them at all, and think hard because you will be thinking about it after they are dead, and there is nothing you can do after that happens.
 
2021-06-20 8:25:54 AM  
Dad - I hope you have a wonderful father's day with your other son who turned out to be the perfect Christian you wanted all your kids to be. I'm sorry that your obsession with fundamentalist religion is the main priority in your life even over your own children. I'm not sorry for turning out gay, as it gave me the gift of your absence in my life. And it's been a pretty good one. Thankfully my husband has a father who in the few years I've known him has been more of a father to me than you ever were.
 
2021-06-20 8:26:28 AM  
Dad's been gone since 2003. I don't visit his grave as much as I used to; just tired of being sad about losing him. (He was killed in an accident at work.) He wasn't perfect; I mean, would you be if your father beat you so much your teeth rattled out of your head, then left a few years before you watched your grandfather, the man who tried to take over for your asshat dad, die while play-wrestling with you? But that's how his life went. He worked his butt off for us, making sure we got everything he couldn't have. Unfortunately that left him MIA a lot, but he tried his best to make up for it. I know he wouldn't approve of some of my paths but still wouldn't mind hearing him say so at this point.

I miss him.
 
2021-06-20 8:32:14 AM  

spontn80: wearsmanyhats: And yet again, I want a 12-string

life is too short to do without
I found this recently
[Fark user image image 850x478]


To make this relevant to the thread:

When i was a kid, my older brother was the golden boy. Star athlete, favored bu both parents, got Cub Scouts, guitar lessons, and got away with reprimands while I didn't get the athletic talent, guitar lessons, and Scouts were 'too expensive'. Instead of reprimands, I got a sound beating.

When i was 16, i had self-taught enough guitar that I wanted one for my own. My brother had kong given up on playing, but instead of getting his guitar, my parents sold it.

So, I found an Alvarez at a local music shop and put $100 of my corn detasseling money down on layaway. It was only $350, but somehow my dad found out and made me go down to the store to get my money back, because it was a 'frivolous' purchase.

After a long argument with the shop owner, Dad got my money back, and 'held onto it' for six months until I 'learned my lesson.'

I ended up buying a $100 beater Yamaha that I had to keep at a friend's house until I went away to college.

I've been playing 45 years now, and I still remember the humiliation of going into that shop. I've been relatively successful in my career, and have lived well within my means. The one place I've splurged? Guess.


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-20 8:33:04 AM  
I'm sober, dad.
 
2021-06-20 8:34:50 AM  

johnphantom: I want to add to what I said above: in hating anyone that was close to you, think if you love them at all, and think hard because you will be thinking about it after they are dead, and there is nothing you can do after that happens.


That's your regret, it is not everyone's.

I loved my dad and I hated him more. I don't regret that he died alone in a fire and wasn't identified until six months later. Some people deserve this fate. And he was definitely one of them.

It doesn't hurt my heart that he never got to see me one last time or hear me beg for him to say I love you to me just one more time.

And I did the exact same thing to my equally abusive grandmother when she requested to see me as she lay dying so she could apologize and make amends. fark you, die with your guilt.
 
2021-06-20 8:42:12 AM  
Not much. Probably just "Hey".
He didn't like talk, and he didn't like talkers.
Of course he'd be 107 if he were still alive, so he might not have much to say in any event.
 
2021-06-20 8:43:53 AM  
My dad and I don't see eye to eye on a whole lot of anything, but over time, we've come to an understanding about topics to avoid, and it allows us to have a fairly reasonable relationship. I've learned many things from him, including things not to do. He is not perfect, but then no man is. I'll probably drop him a note on "the Facebook" today.

And my father in law passed last year at the ripe old age of 92. I will miss him terribly today. He was a through and through good man.
 
2021-06-20 8:44:26 AM  
Both born on the same day.

To Pops (stepdad): Thanks for all the help and support. Love from me.

To Dad: I loved you despite everything. Me.
 
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