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(Fark)   "As a writer, you should not judge, you should understand." ―Ernest Hemingway. Meanwhile, I judge everything I write to be crap, and don't understand why I drunkenly bought a five pound bag of gummy bears online. This is your Fark Writer's Thread   (fark.com) divider line
    More: CSB, Writing, Cascading Style Sheets, Coming out, Gummi bear, Entertainment, headline quote, Politics, Ernest Hemingway  
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323 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 16 Jun 2021 at 4:55 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-06-16 3:10:51 PM  
On the one hand, Sturgeon's Law kinda backs me up statistically on my self-judgement, even if the gummy bears (the good Haribo ones at least, and not the sugar-free ones of gastrointestinal distress legend) do make the top ten percent.  So I've got that going for me.  On the other hand, at the risk of making yet another roundabout excuse for why I've gotten so little actual writing done this week, I can say that at least nothing I wrote was crap!

The headline quote came from an article listing the books Hemingway considered to be essential education for a writer.  I was pleasantly surprised to note that I'd actually read quite of few of them, even if Hemingway would consider me uneducated (and probably a lightweight drinker, but that would apply to most people, I think.)

Question of the week:
What books would you consider essential education for a writer of your genre?

Fark Fiction Anthology Update!
We're still hard at work here on this year's Anthology and we're starting to pull out of the doldrums, with a bunch of new submissions coming in!  (If I haven't responded to you yet, don't worry, I'll get a receipt email out to everyone by this weekend!) Remember that submissions will close July 31, so we've only got a month and a half or so left for you to get your stories to us!
 
2021-06-16 5:28:12 PM  
I once got drunk and bought a can of luck off ebay.
 
2021-06-16 5:31:14 PM  
Oh, Bram Stoker & Hunter S.Thompson.

Two writers who shatter ideals about how books are supposed to be written. The former destroyed the typical narrative, and the latter speaks with you instead of at you.
 
2021-06-16 5:46:28 PM  
My genera?

Oh boy...

Robert Key's "The Green Flag:  A History of Irish Nationalism" maybe to start.  It's an imperfect but relatively complete history but offers an excellent summation of the Penal Laws.   Anything on 17th century shipping and ship design.    Biographies of Oliver Cromwell with a focus on the English Civil War and the interregnum.   Anything on the Tudor dynasty with an emphasis on the Elizabethan period.

Uhh....

And lots and lots of Bukowski.

There's probably more.
 
2021-06-16 5:47:01 PM  

Claude Ballse: I once got drunk and bought a can of luck off ebay.


I ordered one, but the idiot shipper accidentally sent me a bunch of gold bricks and precious stones instead.
 
2021-06-16 5:56:08 PM  
"For sale: baby diaper, full of crap."
 
2021-06-16 6:14:22 PM  
toraque:

Question of the week:
What books would you consider essential education for a writer of your genre?


Answer:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-16 6:26:34 PM  
Essential?  When I was in high school, my reading list included Lord Of The Flies, Alas Babylon, Candide, Song of Solomon, and plenty of other trigger books.  In Latin, I translated Catullus.

I'm not saying my high school bred weird free-thinking radicals, but we certainly playing it safe, and I was grateful.
 
2021-06-16 6:27:37 PM  
We weren't playing it safe.

Also, I misspell things a lot.
 
2021-06-16 6:34:37 PM  
As long as it wasn't the sugar-free Haribo Gummy Bears.
 
2021-06-16 6:51:59 PM  
I finished my first novel in February. I'm kind of afraid to send it out to agents. Any advice?
 
2021-06-16 6:58:58 PM  

LoneCoon: I finished my first novel in February. I'm kind of afraid to send it out to agents. Any advice?


Send it out to agents.
 
2021-06-16 7:05:12 PM  

LoneCoon: I finished my first novel in February. I'm kind of afraid to send it out to agents. Any advice?


Don't be afraid of rejection. It will happen. It happens to the best writers and the worst. Send out a bunch of queries at once, and then move on to writing something else without worrying about them. Good agents will respond, other ones will take a couple of months, the ones that don't even bother to send a rejection are the ones you don't want to work with anyway.

You will hear the word 'subjective' a lot. Don't make a drinking game of this.

Try https://pitchwars.org/pitmad/ #PitMad on twitter, or one of the practice events.  It's a great way to hone your elevator pitch, but be aware going into it that there's nothing more maddening than trying to distill all of the complexity of your novel down to just a few sentences.

There's a host of resources on line for finding agents to query, but avoid anything that expects you to pay anything at all.  In general, agents will be trying to find someone to sell to a publisher, and anyone trying to make money from you directly will not be working in your best interests.

/And don't bother playing the 'I bet I can get more rejections than you, Toraque' game, because I can smoke you all
 
2021-06-16 7:29:13 PM  
5 lbs? That's what, one gummy bear?

Worlds largest gummy bear
 
2021-06-16 7:40:09 PM  

Chemlight Battery: Claude Ballse: I once got drunk and bought a can of luck off ebay.

I ordered one, but the idiot shipper accidentally sent me a bunch of gold bricks and precious stones instead.


Ha.
I lost the thing in a move, so I never got to open it to see if anything was inside. However, it cost me $1 with free shipping. But the parcel said the shipper paid $1.25 to send it to me from across town. So it didn't really have a winning streak for the last guy, so losing it was probably for the best. Or at the very least par for the course for that cursed can.
 
2021-06-16 7:41:47 PM  

VigoDeCarpathia: 5 lbs? That's what, one gummy bear?

Worlds largest gummy bear


Also

Trying to catch the world's largest gummy bear in our mouths. Part 2
Youtube IL6nyBEgQas
 
2021-06-16 7:48:27 PM  
I heard a song recently, and it's one that tends to get stuck in my head. On Saturday I was doing some landscape engineering, the song started playing up there, and an idea popped into my head. The story is practically writing itself, which doesn't happen often.

On a related topic, this story needs someone with the proper accent to do the audio, and I'd be more than happy to do it and take some work off the shoulders of your staff. I have experience and can provide samples. Plus I'd do it for free, whaddaya say?
 
2021-06-16 8:24:05 PM  
I'm torn on the book recommendations as I learned the most through classes/lectures.  Bill Martell offers the least BS, most nuts-and-bolts writing advice I know.

This is his most famous screenwriting advice book but honestly, anything from him is likely worth your time and especially your money (he's not a fan of overpriced 'gurus').  I've mostly watched his online videos and read his various posts but he's a stand-up guy and I think still has the record of most produced scripts (though most went the TV movie or direct release route).

Also, after a party thrown for him on the day he had two movies release on DVD at the same time, he realized I'd greatly over-estimated how often the buses were running and gave me a ride back home, along with another writer with the same problem.  Hell of a good guy.
 
2021-06-16 9:00:46 PM  
During the worst part of COVID I finished my fourth and most horrible novel. I write as a hobby. The manuscripts exist, but I don't want to share them with anyone. Or more accurately, torture them with it.
 
2021-06-16 9:15:33 PM  
I joined a Drabble group so I can say I'm still writing -- 100 words a week. Ha. But I recommend it for anyone who is not currently writing But doesn't want to stall out.

The more you know: Approximately 45 different people work on your novel in the process of getting it into the hands of the public.
 
2021-06-16 9:42:38 PM  
Wahoo, I got an occupancy permit for my house. I have been working on it basically everyday, and most nights. Even when I was sleeping on my floor, I'd spend half the night dreaming about working on it. Now that I legally have a home that still needs work, I can get back into writing.

I miss always having something I have and want to do. Course it means a bit of research and getting up before the sun, but I'm thinking I have a good story to tell.

My third book is in editing so I have to get it out before the new story. I think besides working, my summer at least is full.
I mentioned last week about a publishing company that wants to represent me, for a price. I read the proposal. Briefly they would set up a website for me, the author, plus the other social media that I'd rather not be involved with. It's nice to know somebody out there thinks I might have 10,000.00 dollars to spend on my dreams. Even though my books are no longer a dream, the only fantasy is that they might sell.  I think if they really wanted my money they would want a piece of the profits. This would or could make me think they believe the books are worth something.

There's a lot more than just a good story to getting a book known out there. There's something to be said for hiring professionals at least when your getting started. I still have my original manuscripts, what I thought was the book, that I'd be embarrassed to let people read  now.  It cost me to use a pay to publish, but I know it's money I would of spent somewhere anyway.

A friend called me once and asked how he could put a floor in his house, I told him first thing you do is hire a pro (Me).

I never even considered sending my stuff to a publisher. I wonder how many no's I would have collected if I had asked. I just wanted to see if I could write a book, including seeing it in print. For someone who never even thought of writing fiction it's good enough for me to know I could write for the rest of my life. Each book getting better. At least in the mechanics of bookmaking.

Someday I might even break even on writing.

One thing I've been thinking is the publishers that want me to use them make movie scripts out of your books. Selling a book to have it turned into a movie sounds like a retirement plan to me. Getting your writing to the movie and television people would seem like about the best a writer can do.  My books would make good video but they would cost to much to make.
I have a movie script that could be made for almost nothing, sort of , movie treatment. It's a period piece from the naughts. I call it "Feeding the Homeless, Son of C.H.U.D." About a preacher who discovers that chud live in the underground tunnels of Saint Louis. He accidentally finds profit and fame after he starts feeding the homeless, to the chud. Kind of dark comedy but would require mostly acting.
1-800-308-1151 EXT: 101TOMEPUBLISHING.COM|THE EPITOME IN PUBLISHINg1st $2,479.752ND $2,449.753RD $2,449.754TH $2,449.75_________________________TOTA​L: $9,829
 
2021-06-16 9:52:28 PM  
I have been hard at work organizing my rat nest of files from over a dozen different ideas and transcribing everything into proper order and formatting for screenplays. After the SnyderCut, Army of the Dead, and Jupiter's Legacy, something snapped in me and I decided that, clearly, Hollywood has money to give me.

Using this pitch bible that was used to sell Stranger Things as a guide: http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Strang​e​r_Things/Stranger_Things_-_Bible.pdf .

Also been a good motivator to keep working on dieting, working out, and looking sexy.
 
2021-06-16 9:53:35 PM  

claudius: I joined a Drabble group so I can say I'm still writing -- 100 words a week. Ha. But I recommend it for anyone who is not currently writing But doesn't want to stall out.

The more you know: Approximately 45 different people work on your novel in the process of getting it into the hands of the public.


I wonder how many work on the average fark post?
 
2021-06-16 10:04:24 PM  
Wine gums!!!   Gummy Bears blow chunks out of dead pigs.
 
2021-06-16 11:26:45 PM  
So, should I start posting random chapters of my My Little Pony/Mechwarrior/Avengers/Harry Potter/Bolo/Larry Niven's Ringworld mashup fusion fic where Q and Captain Picard show up for no good reason and half the characters are magically metamorphosed ocelots or velociraptors or whatever, including one of the AI tanks?
 
2021-06-16 11:28:40 PM  

dickfreckle: During the worst part of COVID I finished my fourth and most horrible novel. I write as a hobby. The manuscripts exist, but I don't want to share them with anyone. Or more accurately, torture them with it.


Is the main character a self-interest hermaphrodite furry?

If not, it's probably okay.
 
2021-06-16 11:32:08 PM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: dickfreckle: During the worst part of COVID I finished my fourth and most horrible novel. I write as a hobby. The manuscripts exist, but I don't want to share them with anyone. Or more accurately, torture them with it.

Is the main character a self-interest* hermaphrodite furry?

If not, it's probably okay.


*insert.  Fml.
 
2021-06-17 9:40:17 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Why ask why?

Sweeet 'beetus...
 
2021-06-17 10:19:36 AM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: So, should I start posting random chapters of my My Little Pony/Mechwarrior/Avengers/Harry Potter/Bolo/Larry Niven's Ringworld mashup fusion fic where Q and Captain Picard show up for no good reason and half the characters are magically metamorphosed ocelots or velociraptors or whatever, including one of the AI tanks?



I doubt you. this looks way too middle bell Hollywood fanfic mash to be your own work. You're just describing the latest trailer most of haven't seen yet aren't you?
 
2021-06-17 11:24:11 AM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: So, should I start posting random chapters of my My Little Pony/Mechwarrior/Avengers/Harry Potter/Bolo/Larry Niven's Ringworld mashup fusion fic where Q and Captain Picard show up for no good reason and half the characters are magically metamorphosed ocelots or velociraptors or whatever, including one of the AI tanks?


You joke, but seriously watch jurassic Park camp cretaceous and tell me this isn't what they did.

That show is great.
 
2021-06-17 11:25:10 AM  
P.S. that whole jurassic park is loaded with perfect meme material
 
2021-06-17 10:46:50 PM  
A great book which I have purchased twice is Writing Treatments That Sell by Kenneth Atchity.

A treatment is a 2-10 page description of your screenplay, from start to finish. Unfinished screenplays have been sold based on a strong treatment.

Also, working on a treatment helps you fine tune your story arc, and recognize weak spots, before you write a 90 page script.

Of course, screenplays and not the only story form which a treatment can help develop.

Lately I've been getting lots of Idiot's Guides off ebay for under $5. Most have been music/band related, but yesterday I ordered a book on selling articles to magazines and one on getting your book published. The seller offered Buy 2 Get 1 Free, so they ended up being really cheap. Undoubtedly some useful, practical info in them as well.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-17 10:58:32 PM  
Also, I learned something useful this week.

I was ordering some music software on ebay for my new 2008 macbook, and learned they make keyboard covers which include color-coded keyboard shortcuts for programs like Logic, Readon, Ableton, and Final Cut, available for under $20. Those are the only ones I noticed, but I'm sure they also make them for other major programs like photoshop or desktop publishing software.

They make these slipover covers for different keyboards and models, and for $20 each it's easy to get several and swap them out when using different programs.

I figured someone else here would be as amazed by this information as I was.
 
2021-06-17 11:03:46 PM  
I forgot to mention that I got my macbook for $120 on ebay. It was a 2008 model, but had the El Capitan OS installed.

I thought somebody might need to hear that they can get a functional laptop, delivered in a couple days, for just $120.
 
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