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(AOL)   Barry Bonds "wows crowds with his schnauzer". Surprisingly not a euphemism   (aol.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Sylvester Stallone, Dog breed, miniature schnauzer Rocky, Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, Dog, Home run, Rocky, time home run leader  
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2109 clicks; posted to Main » and Sports » on 14 Jun 2021 at 2:35 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-14 1:32:57 PM  
15 is my limit on Schnauzers.

/baby I am not from Havana
 
2021-06-14 2:36:25 PM  
Have they tested the dog for steroids?
 
2021-06-14 2:37:51 PM  

Ragin' Asian: Have they tested the dog for steroids?


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-14 2:38:23 PM  

Ragin' Asian: Have they tested the dog for steroids?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-14 2:39:17 PM  
Does he have two left feet?
 
2021-06-14 2:40:40 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: Ragin' Asian: Have they tested the dog for steroids?

[i.pinimg.com image 384x549]


That thing is an intentional rock.
 
2021-06-14 2:40:42 PM  
schnauzer*
 
2021-06-14 2:43:53 PM  
I have a soft spot for those dogs- they look like grumpy old men ready to tell me to get off their lawns.
 
2021-06-14 2:44:39 PM  
You should see his Lab
 
2021-06-14 2:48:42 PM  
I thought that was the kind of thing that shrunk with what he did.
 
2021-06-14 2:53:56 PM  
If we're going for disgraced athletes trying to rehab their image at a dog show, there's only name that come to mind.
 
2021-06-14 2:55:40 PM  

fark account name: If we're going for disgraced athletes trying to rehab their image at a dog show, there's only name that come to mind.


Vick?
 
2021-06-14 2:56:37 PM  

Somacandra: 15 is my limit on Schnauzers.

/baby I am not from Havana


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-14 2:57:02 PM  

Pfighting Polish: I thought that was the kind of thing that shrunk with what he did.


The schnauzer used to be a Great Dane.
 
2021-06-14 3:12:16 PM  

Ragin' Asian: Have they tested the dog for steroids?


so that's why it actually looked like a Giant Schnauzer.
 
2021-06-14 3:15:11 PM  

Pfighting Polish: I thought that was the kind of thing that shrunk with what he did.


It's a miniature schnauzer.  It used to be normal size.
 
2021-06-14 3:21:44 PM  
And then he wows her with his enormous schwanstucker.
 
2021-06-14 3:25:30 PM  
Mrs Englaja noticed our dog was having hearing problems, so she took it to the veterinarian.

The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine but said she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some hair removal cream and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady went to the chemist and asked for some hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, it's very caustic, so don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "Well. if you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."

"I'm not using it on my legs. It's for my Schnauzer."

The pharmacist says, "In that case, don't ride a bicycle for a fortnight."

/Thank you Sir Les Patterson for the joke - nobody tells it like you
//No schnauzer, shih tzu
 
TWX
2021-06-14 3:30:37 PM  
top secret - german lessons
Youtube 2w_mBnzyVTg
 
2021-06-14 3:39:31 PM  
Before Roids:
Fark user imageView Full Size



After Roids
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-14 3:49:41 PM  

englaja: Mrs Englaja noticed our dog was having hearing problems, so she took it to the veterinarian.

The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine but said she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some hair removal cream and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady went to the chemist and asked for some hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, it's very caustic, so don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "Well. if you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."

"I'm not using it on my legs. It's for my Schnauzer."

The pharmacist says, "In that case, don't ride a bicycle for a fortnight."

/Thank you Sir Les Patterson for the joke - nobody tells it like you
//No schnauzer, shih tzu


that was funny, I shih tzu not.
 
2021-06-14 3:50:33 PM  

RolfBlitzer: The Googles Do Nothing: Ragin' Asian: Have they tested the dog for steroids?

[i.pinimg.com image 384x549]

That thing is an intentional rock.


Apparently it's a genetic condition, one of the genes regulating muscle production mutated and sat around getting drunk instead of doing it's job.  She's about twice the normal weight for a female of her breed, and it doesn't bode well for her future health at all.

/basically Wendy's a messed up pupper
//the muscular equivalent of being born with Downs or something
///she's actually a whippet, which tells you something about how much of a mess she is just looking at her
 
2021-06-14 3:51:35 PM  

HighlanderRPI: Before Roids:
[Fark user image image 772x1172]


After Roids
[Fark user image image 736x701]


I was thinking it would be the other way - the dog would swell up like Barry's hat size, except the nuts, which would shrivel so much that neutering wasn't necessary.
 
2021-06-14 4:45:33 PM  
He looks so puny now that he is no longer jacked up on steroids.
 
2021-06-14 4:46:21 PM  

Ragin' Asian: Have they tested the dog for steroids?


The dog? Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Barry 'roided up for this.
 
2021-06-14 6:30:30 PM  
Bonds is/was listed at 6'1" / 185 lbs. No way in hell. I was in the same room with him one time-- he is/was built like a shiathouse, and not the straw- or stick- variety.
 
2021-06-14 9:45:36 PM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: I have a soft spot for those dogs- they look like grumpy old men ready to tell me to get off their lawns.


Me too, when I was about 7 my grandmother took me to the pound and told me I could pick out any dog for her, selected a Miniature Schnauzer. She had that dog for nearly 20 years. He was a great dog, intelligent, protective, and friendly to kids plus loved to play fetch.
 
2021-06-15 2:20:23 AM  
Every time Bonds came to bat everyone would stop and watch. He should be in the Hall of Fame. Nice dog, too.
 
2021-06-15 4:20:58 AM  

virulent_loser: englaja: Mrs Englaja noticed our dog was having hearing problems, so she took it to the veterinarian.

The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine but said she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the chemist and get some hair removal cream and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.

The lady went to the chemist and asked for some hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, it's very caustic, so don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady said, "I'm not using it under my arms."

The pharmacist said, "Well. if you're using it on your legs, don't shave for a couple of days."

"I'm not using it on my legs. It's for my Schnauzer."

The pharmacist says, "In that case, don't ride a bicycle for a fortnight."

/Thank you Sir Les Patterson for the joke - nobody tells it like you
//No schnauzer, shih tzu

that was funny, I shih tzu not.


#Viral video Hilarious Dog Joke
Youtube 6FwWmLQB61k
 
2021-06-15 11:34:33 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: RolfBlitzer: The Googles Do Nothing: Ragin' Asian: Have they tested the dog for steroids?

[i.pinimg.com image 384x549]

That thing is an intentional rock.

Apparently it's a genetic condition, one of the genes regulating muscle production mutated and sat around getting drunk instead of doing it's job.  She's about twice the normal weight for a female of her breed, and it doesn't bode well for her future health at all.

/basically Wendy's a messed up pupper
//the muscular equivalent of being born with Downs or something
///she's actually a whippet, which tells you something about how much of a mess she is just looking at her


there is a breed of cow that this condition is common in... they refer to it as 'double muscle'.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-​m​uscled_cattle
 
2021-06-15 5:00:39 PM  

red5ish: Every time Bonds came to bat everyone would stop and watch. He should be in the Hall of Fame. Nice dog, too.


Pretty much every time someone steps up to the plate to bat everyone stops and watches.
 
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