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(Patheos)   Christian 'prophet' Jeff Jansen (before): God told me he would overthrow Biden and restore Trump to the White House by April. Christian 'prophet' Jeff Jansen (now): God told me he would overthrow Biden and restore Trump to the White House by June 23   (friendlyatheist.patheos.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, Donald Trump, Jeff Jansen, Barack Obama, Ivana Trump, Fred Trump, good time, Global Fire Ministries International, President Trump  
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1090 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 Jun 2021 at 9:34 AM (6 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



128 Comments     (+0 »)
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6 days ago  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
6 days ago  
Did he just say that Spring starts June 23rd?
 
6 days ago  
He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.
 
6 days ago  
farking autocorrect : flare-> false
 
6 days ago  

anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.


Yes it is, but the fact is they will just send him money, instead
 
6 days ago  

TuckFrump: anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.

Yes it is, but the fact is they will just send him money, instead


Sad to watch standards fall like that.
 
6 days ago  
I guess he didn't get enough money by April, please send him enough to get it done by June 23rd.
 
6 days ago  

anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.


No, see, the "sign" only happened in a spiritual sense, so the prophecy was fulfilled.

Or there was going to be a sign but you idiots screwed it up with your sin and lack of faith.

There are a lot of potential loopholes that Christians necessarily need to accept as valid.
 
6 days ago  

anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.


He obviously wasn't wearing enough flare.

Fark user imageView Full Size


I mean, sure, if you just want to do the bare minimum....
 
6 days ago  
"Hi, I'm God, and you're watching PUNK'D!"
 
6 days ago  
I thought Dumpy said August.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
6 days ago  

nakmuay: I thought Dumpy said August. [Fark user image 589x331]


Preview is your friend.
 
6 days ago  
I find it endlessly amusing that a 78 year old man is more powerful than their stupid god.
 
6 days ago  
I mean c'mon. God's busy. He'll get to it when He gets to it.
 
6 days ago  
Oh look.  Another angry white theo-fascist making videos in his car.
 
6 days ago  
Maybe God thinks he's a dick, and is just messing with him.
 
6 days ago  

TuckFrump: anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.

Yes it is, but the fact is they will just send him money, instead


Yeah its the only way to keep those false prophets out of heaven. Pretty much the only way to not go to heaven is to be rich.

You guys should consider doing the same thing to me. I would be super obnoxious as a roommate.
 
6 days ago  
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6 days ago  
That God always kidding around
 
6 days ago  
The Bible is full of warnings against false prophets.  Strange that so many Christians don't heed them, it's almost like they don't read their own book.
 
6 days ago  
Living in the south, I loathe the summer. So I was pleasantly surprised to learn we're going to get a second spring instead. I think I could get used to this kind of climate change!
 
6 days ago  
Send his ass to a mental hospital. 20 years of being strapped to a bed might be good for him and his imaginary friend.
 
6 days ago  
So your saying you support Trump overthrowing the legitimate government?

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6 days ago  
Jeremiah 14:14

14And the Lord said to me, "The prophets prophesy lies in My name. I have not sent them, commanded them, nor spoken to them; they prophesy to you a false vision, [a]divination, a worthless thing, and the deceit of their heart.


Revelation 20:10

10The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where[a] the beast and the false prophet are. And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.
 
6 days ago  

nakmuay: I thought Dumpy said August. [Fark user image 589x331]


How did you find a photo of an old, white guy who still shops at the knock-off Tommy Bahama outlet? I think it was called Milo Martinique or something...

/ Kid Rock ain't a kid anymore
// Hasn't been for AGES
/// Bawitdaba was a smoking crater of ass
 
6 days ago  

anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.


Fark user imageView Full Size

Oh, surely not.
 
6 days ago  

baronbloodbath: So your saying you support Trump overthrowing the legitimate government?

[Fark user image image 425x184]


*you're, damnit
 
6 days ago  
Well, I haven't given up on my dream. I may need some duct tape, a broom and lot of lube but I'm still holding out hope.

i.cbc.caView Full Size
 
6 days ago  

anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.


He fishing for donations?  More like "profit".
 
6 days ago  
Something tells me he is full of shiat. Pretty sure it's not a god, but I'm gonna listen to it anyway.
 
6 days ago  

Snapper Carr: Oh look.  Another angry white theo-fascist making videos in his car.


They do that because their long-suffering wives will make fun of them if they do it in the house. Being called a dumbass as they talk about being upset by the propaganda they intentionally sought out makes them look weak in front of their derpy Internet friends.
 
6 days ago  

anuran: He's predicted a "sign or wonder" that didn't happen. That means he's a flare prophet, and it's the duty of every Christian to kill him.



That was always my favorite Final Fantasy 4 summon.
 
6 days ago  

nakmuay: I thought Dumpy said August. [Fark user image image 589x331]


Didn't Kid Rock open an escort service in back of Four Seasons Landscaping?
 
6 days ago  
A prophecy date based on your arraignment date?  Trump's going to pardon you when he's damn ready.
 
6 days ago  

CthulhuCalling: The Bible is full of warnings against false prophets.  Strange that so many Christians don't heed them, it's almost like they don't read their own book.


Indeed.

With how they act...you'd think that they might have read a VERY different book. One that was first written by Abdul Alhazred....
 
6 days ago  
Wouldn't it have been easier if God simply allow Trump to win last November, if God truly wanted Trump to be the POTUS for four more years?
 
6 days ago  
These people are still going to be waiting for the Second Coming of Donald Trump 2000 years from now.

Just watch.  We're watching the birth of a new religion.  An exceptionally shiatty one.
 
6 days ago  
I'm beginning to think that this "christian" "prophet" is full of shiat.
 
6 days ago  
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6 days ago  
He said something along the lines of "It's time for a revolution."

I think the FBI should pay a call to this idiot.
 
6 days ago  

HeartBurnKid: These people are still going to be waiting for the Second Coming of Donald Trump 2000 years from now.

Just watch.  We're watching the birth of a new religion.  An exceptionally shiatty one.


Is there a non-shiaty religion?
 
6 days ago  

Senseless_drivel: Well, I haven't given up on my dream. I may need some duct tape, a broom and lot of lube but I'm still holding out hope.

[i.cbc.ca image 780x1182]


And a shovel. Don't forget the shovel.
 
6 days ago  

HeartBurnKid: These people are still going to be waiting for the Second Coming of Donald Trump 2000 years from now.

Just watch.  We're watching the birth of a new religion.  An exceptionally shiatty one.


I would love to be born again in 2000 years from now and see the evolution (ha) of Trump's image by then.  He will be a 6'7" muscular dude, with great blonde hair, and did all sorts of wonderful miracles... like destroy Covid by simply waving his index finger... Build a bridge from DC to Mt Everest in 4 days... was POTUS for 120 years, you know, normal things people do today.
 
6 days ago  

morlinge: Maybe God thinks he's a dick, and is just messing with him.


It's God that is making herself look weak in comparison to the Golden studmuffin in order to accomplish her evil master plan of getting them all into one ark and then smiting it with fire.
 
6 days ago  
And he got fired from his ministry for "poor moral choices". What did he cheat on pastor with the usher, or versey vicey?
 
6 days ago  
Ob:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Linky
 
6 days ago  

iheartscotch: I find it endlessly amusing that a 78 year old man is more powerful than their stupid god.


Since he's imaginary, it's not a very high bar to cross
 
6 days ago  

Someone Else's Alt: HeartBurnKid: These people are still going to be waiting for the Second Coming of Donald Trump 2000 years from now.

Just watch.  We're watching the birth of a new religion.  An exceptionally shiatty one.

Is there a non-shiaty religion?


Unitarian Universalists are pretty cool.
 
6 days ago  

HeartBurnKid: Someone Else's Alt: HeartBurnKid: These people are still going to be waiting for the Second Coming of Donald Trump 2000 years from now.

Just watch.  We're watching the birth of a new religion.  An exceptionally shiatty one.

Is there a non-shiaty religion?

Unitarian Universalists are pretty cool.


Oooh, also Sikhs.  Sikhs are awesome.
 
6 days ago  
I can't wait until one of these morons who are busy monologuing in their car gets so caught up in their diatribe that they plow into the rear of a garbage truck and its caught on camera.
 
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