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(Google)   Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. It's your Bad Joke Thursday thread   (google.com) divider line
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116 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 10 Jun 2021 at 7:05 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-09 9:04:52 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-09 9:05:14 PM  
cdn.statically.ioView Full Size
 
2021-06-09 9:21:11 PM  
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

......


The it hit me.
 
2021-06-09 9:23:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-10 12:01:02 AM  
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.
 
2021-06-10 12:11:25 AM  
Needs more cowbell.
 
2021-06-10 1:25:17 AM  
Did you hear about the baguette at the zoo?

It was bread in captivity.
 
2021-06-10 5:48:20 AM  

Dasher McHappenstance: Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.

So I pushed her over.


That...that was you?
 
2021-06-10 7:09:22 AM  
A male bovine has unfortunately just swallowed a ticking time bomb. How would you describe this situation in one word?

Abominable.

Five minutes later the bomb has detonated leaving little beyond a small hole in the ground. What one word describes the new situation?

Noble.
 
2021-06-10 7:11:28 AM  
What do you call a cow with no legs???

Ground Beef!!

What do you call a dog with no legs???

Doesn't matter, it won't come to you anyways!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes???

No eye dear!!! (No idea)
 
2021-06-10 7:21:03 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-10 7:35:13 AM  
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
 
2021-06-10 7:38:38 AM  
What is brown and sticky?

A stick.
 
2021-06-10 8:26:48 AM  
How does a moon cut its hair?

Eclipse it
 
2021-06-10 9:30:51 AM  

wild9: What do you call a cow with no legs???

Ground Beef!!

What do you call a dog with no legs???

Doesn't matter, it won't come to you anyways!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes???

No eye dear!!! (No idea)


What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Cigarette-- you take it out for a drag.
 
2021-06-10 10:01:46 AM  

Everything is Awful: wild9: What do you call a cow with no legs???

Ground Beef!!

What do you call a dog with no legs???

Doesn't matter, it won't come to you anyways!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes???

No eye dear!!! (No idea)

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Cigarette-- you take it out for a drag.


What do you call a dog with no legs in the middle of the road?
Spot.
 
2021-06-10 10:14:31 AM  
Can you show us on the doll where Jesus touched you
 
2021-06-10 10:23:46 AM  

wild9: What do you call a deer with no eyes???

No eye dear!!! (No idea)


What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no eye deer.
 
2021-06-10 10:34:02 AM  

ocendot: Everything is Awful: wild9: What do you call a cow with no legs???

Ground Beef!!

What do you call a dog with no legs???

Doesn't matter, it won't come to you anyways!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes???

No eye dear!!! (No idea)

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Cigarette-- you take it out for a drag.

What do you call a dog with no legs in the middle of the road?
Spot.


What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.
 
2021-06-10 10:39:40 AM  
I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
 
2021-06-10 10:53:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-10 10:59:29 AM  

Pinnacle Point: What is brown and sticky?

A stick.


No, that is what you call a boomerang that does not come back.
 
2021-06-10 11:03:48 AM  

Pinnacle Point: What is brown and sticky?

A stick.


What's red and sticky?

A red stick.
 
2021-06-10 11:19:33 AM  

wild9: What do you call a cow with no legs???

Ground Beef!!

What do you call a dog with no legs???

Doesn't matter, it won't come to you anyways!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes???

No eye dear!!! (No idea)

(ALTERNATE PUNCHLINE)

What do you call a dog with no legs???

Cigarette, because you take him out for a drag once in a while.
 
2021-06-10 11:22:32 AM  

sniderman: wild9: What do you call a cow with no legs???

Ground Beef!!

What do you call a dog with no legs???

Doesn't matter, it won't come to you anyways!!

What do you call a deer with no eyes???

No eye dear!!! (No idea)

(ALTERNATE PUNCHLINE)
What do you call a dog with no legs???

Cigarette, because you take him out for a drag once in a while.


Argh, beaten to the punch (line).
 
2021-06-10 11:35:57 AM  

Pinnacle Point: What is brown and sticky?

A stick.


What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!
 
2021-06-10 11:50:15 AM  

kdawg7736: [i.pinimg.com image 500x342]


Why won't shrimp share their treasure?
They're shellfish.
 
2021-06-10 12:38:16 PM  

Thudfark: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?


1. Assure them that the details for Trumpcare and infrastructure week will be announced in two weeks.
Do this repeatedly while Trump is president.

Then, after the Trump presidency, repeatedly
2. Assure them you're about to drop overwhelming evidence of 2020 election fraud which will make Trump president again in two months..(optional: because god told you so)

Works like a charm

/ Runs off to pol tab
 
2021-06-10 3:40:34 PM  

Squid_for_Brains: Pinnacle Point: What is brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!


What's brown and rhymes with snoop?


Dr. Dre
 
BBH
2021-06-10 9:00:09 PM  
The Mayo Clinic is relocating to Sandwich.  (IL)
 
2021-06-11 3:35:23 AM  
There's a spider somewhere in my room I call Cotton Eye Joe because I have two questions for it:

1. Where did you come from?
2. Where did you go?
 
2021-06-11 6:52:02 AM  
There's only one superhero who can get into frozen meals

....leave it to Thor
 
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