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(Click Orlando)   "Ya'll chill, I'm just intoxicated" may not be the smartest thing to say to cops after you've just run down a pedestrian while driving 114 mph   (clickorlando.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Police, Road, Speed, English-language films, Alcohol law, Drunk driving, Alcohol, Blood alcohol content  
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2731 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jun 2021 at 11:46 PM (4 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
4 days ago  
Maybe he should have lead with, "I let Jesus take the wheel."
 
4 days ago  
But we can't have autonomous vehicles because they might kill someone.
 
4 days ago  
Damyankees don't know how to spell "y'all."
 
4 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
He should've led with "I was fleeing from this crazy biatch"

csb
Back in the early 90's I used to do grateful dead merch, my boss had a high performance audi and went to a show in Northern NH. On the way back he's doing well over a 100mph and gets pulled over.  He's a really cleancut looking guy and he tells the trooper he was driving so fast because these crazy hippie looking people were chasing him.  The trooper accepted his story because he was stationed on that highway to bust the hippies leaving the dead show.  Let him go with a warning, slow down.
 
4 days ago  
I don't think he'll be driving anywhere anytime soon. Like forever.

Reminds me of the dumb f**k who got out of jail for car theft and promptly stole a car from the parking lot because he didn't have a ride. Some folks never learn.
 
4 days ago  
i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck
 
4 days ago  

some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck


Just give yourself two hours, you'll be fine.
 
4 days ago  
When the small Mexican crashed into my parked truck on Christmas eve, I walked up and pulled him out of his truck. He went to get back in and I pulled him back out. I was a little shocked, but I held him loosely. My big black bouncer neighbor turned up and I said "get the keys."  I held him loosely until the first cop arrived, and he made the man take a seat until other units arrived. After the whole show arrived, I was handed a clipboard and statement form, and I gave a non-judgmental statement, describing the man as disoriented. I didn't say he was drunk, I'm not a breathalyzer. Hell, I had already started drinking when that happened.

My 70 day old truck was totaled, and I was the picture of calm because I have good insurance. My neighbor was amazed how calm I was about things, but I did air traffic control, where I learned not to panic. What was I supposed to do? The cops would deal with him, and the driver was not having a good night.

The next day I had to call for a ride to Christmas activities, and it took a week to find a wrecker able to handle a truck with a bent frame and wheels broken off the back axles.

Day after Christmas I got a rental (good insurance) and it was a beastly F-250 super 4x4 I'd never normally use. That evening, I was out enjoying some sales, and I had the option to go one way to hunt sales or just stop for In-n-Out. While at the burger joint, everyone's phones rang out with tornado warnings. If I had gone for more shopping, I would have been in a tornado zone. I retreated to some covered public parking I knew because I hadn't opted for the loss of use insurance.

This isn't relevant, just a spontaneous writing exercise.
 
4 days ago  

Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck

Just give yourself two hours, you'll be fine.


it's 48 hours according to google maps. across canada from vancouver to london. 10 hours to calgary over the mountains
 
4 days ago  
"Y'all chill, I'm just incarcerated"

/he needs a long stint behind bars
 
4 days ago  
was it in london again? cause that's where i'm going
 
4 days ago  
Suspect told police he was busy with his phone while driving. They then asked him what would he possibly be doing on his phone while driving 114mph. He said, "I browse."
 
4 days ago  

wildcardjack: When the small Mexican crashed into my parked truck on Christmas eve, I walked up and pulled him out of his truck. He went to get back in and I pulled him back out. I was a little shocked, but I held him loosely. My big black bouncer neighbor turned up and I said "get the keys."  I held him loosely until the first cop arrived, and he made the man take a seat until other units arrived. After the whole show arrived, I was handed a clipboard and statement form, and I gave a non-judgmental statement, describing the man as disoriented. I didn't say he was drunk, I'm not a breathalyzer. Hell, I had already started drinking when that happened.

My 70 day old truck was totaled, and I was the picture of calm because I have good insurance. My neighbor was amazed how calm I was about things, but I did air traffic control, where I learned not to panic. What was I supposed to do? The cops would deal with him, and the driver was not having a good night.

The next day I had to call for a ride to Christmas activities, and it took a week to find a wrecker able to handle a truck with a bent frame and wheels broken off the back axles.

Day after Christmas I got a rental (good insurance) and it was a beastly F-250 super 4x4 I'd never normally use. That evening, I was out enjoying some sales, and I had the option to go one way to hunt sales or just stop for In-n-Out. While at the burger joint, everyone's phones rang out with tornado warnings. If I had gone for more shopping, I would have been in a tornado zone. I retreated to some covered public parking I knew because I hadn't opted for the loss of use insurance.

This isn't relevant, just a spontaneous writing exercise.


Sounds like you definitely need to sacrifice your first-born...
 
4 days ago  
114 seems a little fast for a pedestrian.
 
4 days ago  

LarrySouth: wildcardjack: When the small Mexican crashed into my parked truck on Christmas eve, I walked up and pulled him out of his truck. He went to get back in and I pulled him back out. I was a little shocked, but I held him loosely. My big black bouncer neighbor turned up and I said "get the keys."  I held him loosely until the first cop arrived, and he made the man take a seat until other units arrived. After the whole show arrived, I was handed a clipboard and statement form, and I gave a non-judgmental statement, describing the man as disoriented. I didn't say he was drunk, I'm not a breathalyzer. Hell, I had already started drinking when that happened.

My 70 day old truck was totaled, and I was the picture of calm because I have good insurance. My neighbor was amazed how calm I was about things, but I did air traffic control, where I learned not to panic. What was I supposed to do? The cops would deal with him, and the driver was not having a good night.

The next day I had to call for a ride to Christmas activities, and it took a week to find a wrecker able to handle a truck with a bent frame and wheels broken off the back axles.

Day after Christmas I got a rental (good insurance) and it was a beastly F-250 super 4x4 I'd never normally use. That evening, I was out enjoying some sales, and I had the option to go one way to hunt sales or just stop for In-n-Out. While at the burger joint, everyone's phones rang out with tornado warnings. If I had gone for more shopping, I would have been in a tornado zone. I retreated to some covered public parking I knew because I hadn't opted for the loss of use insurance.

This isn't relevant, just a spontaneous writing exercise.

Sounds like you definitely need to sacrifice your first-born...


Solomon's has a special this week, you can get half off.
 
4 days ago  

some_beer_drinker: Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck

Just give yourself two hours, you'll be fine.

it's 48 hours according to google maps. across canada from vancouver to london. 10 hours to calgary over the mountains


Get to sleep. Wake up early.
 
4 days ago  
It is gut wrenching to read about kids having to work to support the household instead of working for college, or just being kids.

This guy created four more of those kids by running down that father.

I seem like a real prude fogie to some Farkers, but I know it does not have to be this way and I just call it as I see it. Alcohol ruins lives, speed kills, recklessness and stupidity have huge human costs that societies often can not bear. The US has safety nets that are ripped and torn at best. I don't know what is going to take care of this victim's wife and kids.

Another family thrown to the wolves. I think it is awful.

/ Maybe someone has to be a certain age to feel like this.
// Or maybe a father.
/// Fathers' Day coming up everybody!
 
4 days ago  
I can't believe this is the second thread in as many days that I have to confirm I am not the guy who got hit in this story. Thanks again to whoever gifted me a TF when I was hit by a car in a crosswalk last Monday.

Freakin post-COVID drivers!
 
4 days ago  
RENO 911! - Drunk Catwalk
Youtube D6VQDNIZH7U
 
4 days ago  

some_beer_drinker: Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck

Just give yourself two hours, you'll be fine.

it's 48 hours according to google maps. across canada from vancouver to london. 10 hours to calgary over the mountains


Well, if you follow the posted speed limit, maybe.
 
4 days ago  
Assuming he isn't an off-duty cop, he's going to go to prison for a very long time.
 
4 days ago  

some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck


Good thing you aren't excessive_beer_drinker.
 
4 days ago  

some_beer_drinker: Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck

Just give yourself two hours, you'll be fine.

it's 48 hours according to google maps. across canada from vancouver to london. 10 hours to calgary over the mountains


London? Won't you need a boat?
 
4 days ago  

some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck


I drive from Sequim Wash to Spokane Wash and back in one day every couple of months. 14 hour round trip with a couple of hours hanging out in Spokane.  Boring as fark drive...like driving up the 5 thru central Cali.
 
4 days ago  
More ruined lives from selfish, careless idiocy.
 
4 days ago  
Wait, he hit and killed a pedestrian in January and told police at the scene that he was drunk, blew a .24 and it took 5 MONTHS to charge him with homicide?
 
4 days ago  
Don't even trip.
 
4 days ago  

DarkSoulNoHope: Maybe he should have lead with, "I let Jesus take the wheel."


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

maxandgrinch: 114 seems a little fast for a pedestrian.


You've never been to a prune juice sale in Wisconsin, have you.
 
4 days ago  
I'm normally opposed to civil forfeiture, except when it comes to people like this. Take away his damn car. If he gets another one, take that away too.
 
4 days ago  

Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck

Just give yourself two hours, you'll be fine.

it's 48 hours according to google maps. across canada from vancouver to london. 10 hours to calgary over the mountains

London? Won't you need a boat?


If you can make it from Vancouver to London in 48 hours by boat I'll buy you a Coke.
 
4 days ago  
Also:
pyxis.nymag.comView Full Size


Calm down.
...
You're on 3rd street.
 
4 days ago  

Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: Gyrfalcon: some_beer_drinker: i have to drive 4,500km starting tomorrow. wish me luck

Just give yourself two hours, you'll be fine.

it's 48 hours according to google maps. across canada from vancouver to london. 10 hours to calgary over the mountains

London? Won't you need a boat?


i bet you are not canadian
 
4 days ago  

wildcardjack: When the small Mexican crashed into my parked truck on Christmas eve, I walked up and pulled him out of his truck. He went to get back in and I pulled him back out. I was a little shocked, but I held him loosely. My big black bouncer neighbor turned up and I said "get the keys."  I held him loosely until the first cop arrived, and he made the man take a seat until other units arrived. After the whole show arrived, I was handed a clipboard and statement form, and I gave a non-judgmental statement, describing the man as disoriented. I didn't say he was drunk, I'm not a breathalyzer. Hell, I had already started drinking when that happened.

My 70 day old truck was totaled, and I was the picture of calm because I have good insurance. My neighbor was amazed how calm I was about things, but I did air traffic control, where I learned not to panic. What was I supposed to do? The cops would deal with him, and the driver was not having a good night.

The next day I had to call for a ride to Christmas activities, and it took a week to find a wrecker able to handle a truck with a bent frame and wheels broken off the back axles.

Day after Christmas I got a rental (good insurance) and it was a beastly F-250 super 4x4 I'd never normally use. That evening, I was out enjoying some sales, and I had the option to go one way to hunt sales or just stop for In-n-Out. While at the burger joint, everyone's phones rang out with tornado warnings. If I had gone for more shopping, I would have been in a tornado zone. I retreated to some covered public parking I knew because I hadn't opted for the loss of use insurance.

This isn't relevant, just a spontaneous writing exercise.


Don't lose your day job.
 
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