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(Fark)   "A book is a loaded gun in the house next door...Who knows who might be the target of the well-read man?" ―Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Pleasure to Burn Edition   (fark.com) divider line
    More: CSB, Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury, Food, Politics, True story, short stories, STEM, Entertainment  
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473 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 09 Jun 2021 at 6:55 PM (12 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-09 5:02:02 PM  
So I originally started looking for Fahrenheit 451 quotes due to the tragic demise of a loyal friend (luckily, nothing caught on fire) and ended up here.  True story: in high school at one point my class was assigned this book.  I was the only one who read it and gave a set of Cliff's Notes to all my friends.  We weren't a smart bunch, that's all I'm saying, but at least those particular people are unarmed in this regard.

Speaking of books and burning . . . interest in short stories, the 2021 Fark Fiction Anthology is still open for submissions!

Interested in showing your wit to the world? Have a burning idea for a story fit to scorch the page? Being chased by a mechanical hound after setting fire to Err, skip that one, I think.  Regardless, we're looking for the best short fiction Farkers can come up with, in the genres of:

Fantasy
Science Fiction
Humor
Horror
Suspense/mystery/thriller


(Terms and conditions apply. 10,000 words or less, please.  Multiple submissions accepted. Do not attempt to overthrow the status quo with subversive book publishing schemes)

Have an idea?  Send it in!
 
2021-06-09 7:00:27 PM  
I saw a bible some merchant sailor had turned into a gun in a museum once.  Sometimes your metaphors can be literal.
 
2021-06-09 7:22:13 PM  
I have been overwhelmed with various ideas to pitch and have been kind of fool-heartedly constructing an outline for a DC 'cinematic' universe, because I want in on that craze (also reasonably fit and good-looking, so some requirements for being on camera reached). Realistically, it may land me a seat in a writers room at best since this is a career change for me, but lofty goal is to be in the Feige chair except for DC.

Keeping most of my 'phases' 1-3 (only using the term for simplicity) ideas mostly unconnected and with D-listers since I want to be able to focus on developing each individual idea in the best way without worrying about tying it in. Most developed ideas so far are a Riddler movie, Metropolis Special Crimes Unit movie, and Detective Chimp serial. Big bads for the whole 'phase' (ugh - my 'Thanos' in the series) are Eclipso, Mary Queen of Blood, and Helspont/the daemonites in an unholy alliance to take over the Earth.

/no Supes, no Bats
//not until end of 'phase' 3
 
2021-06-09 7:28:38 PM  
OK, I'll step up to the plate again. This week I'll be sending you a 3,850 word science fiction short story and a 7,260 word horror short story.
 
2021-06-09 7:34:05 PM  
Welcome the American future - where every house has a loaded gun in it, and none have any books.
 
2021-06-09 7:40:40 PM  
I burned creationist science book once. Back when I was willing to debate the issue I bought one from a lecturer at a college where he was speaking. I even got him to sign it. He was one of those intelligent design idiots. I read it and tossed it aside. Burned when I came across it recently. I couldn't bear to send it to half price books for some idiot to find.
 
2021-06-09 7:56:26 PM  

toraque: Fahrenheit 451 quotes


"The good writers touch life often.  The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her.  The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies."
 
2021-06-09 7:57:55 PM  
Still trying to put a shine on my story, the first rewrite is done. That won't leave much time for a second one.

I look for brainwashers at the local book drop, rip them up, and recycle the pieces. At least that way they do some good. I don't consider it free speech when it's weaponized.
 
2021-06-09 8:05:52 PM  
On a certain chat system, I have been assigned port 451.
 
2021-06-09 8:13:02 PM  
... Otherwise, I think the Solar Pons mysteries by August Derleth could be burned without any great loss. (But not by me.) I have a book of these stories and they have everything I try to avoid in a mystery: tenuous logical leaps, preposterous scenarios and condescending snarky dialogue. Last night I was offended by a murder mystery in which an aged vicar was lured outside under a tree and a hangman's noose was dropped over his head. The murderer supposedly made off in one direction but the body was found in the crypt of the church, in the other direction. Now I ask you.

Burn, baby, burn!
 
2021-06-09 8:16:01 PM  
Bradbury wrote Fahrenheit 451 on rental typewriters at the LA Public Library, I think for 10 cents an hour. One of the streets next to it is named after him.

For some reason, I had always imagined Bradbury writing 451 on the spot, racing his creativity against the clock. It made the novel even more impressive for me.

But about a year ago, I was typing a story from my hand written notes. The 'story' was mostly complete and I was simply transcribing it. Around that time 451 got mentioned, and I had the flash of insight that Bradbury had already outlined his entire book before he ever sat down at those rental typewriters.

Then I had the flash of insight that I must be a special type of simpleton to imagine that Ray Bradbury composed an entire novel while seated at a coin-operated typewriter.

And furthermore:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-09 8:31:25 PM  
What Happened, Hillary Clinton.

Chapter 1.  She says this book won't tell you what happened.

Should have stopped reading right there.
(She drank a lot in that book)
 
2021-06-09 8:47:08 PM  
My Ray Bradbury story.

In high school, my English teacher was an authority on him and she wrote the cliff notes on his works. (He wasn't a big enough author for each one individually to have its own set, so the cliff notes covered several of his books.)

Anyway... one day a student decided he would do a paper on his works.  I guess he either was out the day she told us about her knowledge of the author or just wasn't paying attention.  Either way, though, he plagiarized the hell out of his paper, including from the cliff notes that SHE wrote.

The next day, she sat at the front of the class and took her personal collection of materials out and had highlighted every place he copied from.  Lastly, she gave him the cliff notes and asked him to look and see who wrote them.

Needless to say, he failed.
 
2021-06-09 8:56:13 PM  

Wobambo: I have been overwhelmed with various ideas to pitch and have been kind of fool-heartedly constructing an outline for a DC 'cinematic' universe, because I want in on that craze (also reasonably fit and good-looking, so some requirements for being on camera reached). Realistically, it may land me a seat in a writers room at best since this is a career change for me, but lofty goal is to be in the Feige chair except for DC.

Keeping most of my 'phases' 1-3 (only using the term for simplicity) ideas mostly unconnected and with D-listers since I want to be able to focus on developing each individual idea in the best way without worrying about tying it in. Most developed ideas so far are a Riddler movie, Metropolis Special Crimes Unit movie, and Detective Chimp serial. Big bads for the whole 'phase' (ugh - my 'Thanos' in the series) are Eclipso, Mary Queen of Blood, and Helspont/the daemonites in an unholy alliance to take over the Earth.

/no Supes, no Bats
//not until end of 'phase' 3


Well, if you manage to land a sweet gig as a bigshot writer for DC, be sure to hook me up with a lesser position of a similar nature.
 
2021-06-09 9:20:09 PM  

Fireproof: Wobambo: I have been overwhelmed with various ideas to pitch and have been kind of fool-heartedly constructing an outline for a DC 'cinematic' universe, because I want in on that craze (also reasonably fit and good-looking, so some requirements for being on camera reached). Realistically, it may land me a seat in a writers room at best since this is a career change for me, but lofty goal is to be in the Feige chair except for DC.

Keeping most of my 'phases' 1-3 (only using the term for simplicity) ideas mostly unconnected and with D-listers since I want to be able to focus on developing each individual idea in the best way without worrying about tying it in. Most developed ideas so far are a Riddler movie, Metropolis Special Crimes Unit movie, and Detective Chimp serial. Big bads for the whole 'phase' (ugh - my 'Thanos' in the series) are Eclipso, Mary Queen of Blood, and Helspont/the daemonites in an unholy alliance to take over the Earth.

/no Supes, no Bats
//not until end of 'phase' 3

Well, if you manage to land a sweet gig as a bigshot writer for DC, be sure to hook me up with a lesser position of a similar nature.


Totally open to collaborations. Never considered writing for film or for preexisting properties, so it's kind of like playing with action figures so far. I started off by brainstorming all characters I'd actually want to write in both Marvel and DC. DC had far, far more, plus I feel like I can actually do better than what they put out. Lofty goals, but I want to see Infinity War quality takes on Eclipso: The Darkness Within, Doomsday, Reign of Supermen/Return of Superman, Rann-Thanagar War, and Crisis on Infinite Earths.
 
2021-06-09 9:41:50 PM  
Mildred's obsession with media is a fascinating component.

As I've aged and the personalized nature of entertainment has arrived I wonder if we already suffer from the loneliness and despair she felt in her isolation? I mean we live in screens all day, is that any different than parlor walls?
 
2021-06-10 2:04:06 AM  
I have an interesting problem. A man called me on my home phone(Land line guy). He said he was from Tome publishing company and wants to represent my books, or market them? For a price of course.

I just got an email of his proposal.  Haven't read it yet because I'm sure I can't afford it.  Plus I've been around enough to know that people love to make money on peoples dreams. Being a writer I can think of all kinds of angles for the man to call me. Not even first that he's an alien, or shape shifting lizard people.

For a second I was paranoid, how did he get my phone number? Then I remembered I've been in the phone book for about thirty years. I asked why me? He said his company has book scouts. Mostly he gave his pitch, that why write a five hundred page book, if your not going to do anything to get it out there.

Tough one, he asked if I believe in my books. I couldn't really answer that, all I did was write them, it's up to readers if they want to read it and let me know. He also said they could target my audience. Who I'm writing the book for. He suggested I should target a teen audience.

I didn't write thinking I was going to get paid, but it would be nice.
It is also kind of an ego booster that someone  read my books. I don't know what it would cost but they advertise they can make a book into a movie script. Without any guarantee's that I make a sell.

I don't know, how I would pay for it anyway. Any guesses?
 
2021-06-10 5:10:14 AM  

mad cowboy: I have an interesting problem. A man called me on my home phone(Land line guy). He said he was from Tome publishing company and wants to represent my books, or market them? For a price of course.

I just got an email of his proposal.  Haven't read it yet because I'm sure I can't afford it.  Plus I've been around enough to know that people love to make money on peoples dreams. Being a writer I can think of all kinds of angles for the man to call me. Not even first that he's an alien, or shape shifting lizard people.

For a second I was paranoid, how did he get my phone number? Then I remembered I've been in the phone book for about thirty years. I asked why me? He said his company has book scouts. Mostly he gave his pitch, that why write a five hundred page book, if your not going to do anything to get it out there.

Tough one, he asked if I believe in my books. I couldn't really answer that, all I did was write them, it's up to readers if they want to read it and let me know. He also said they could target my audience. Who I'm writing the book for. He suggested I should target a teen audience.

I didn't write thinking I was going to get paid, but it would be nice.
It is also kind of an ego booster that someone  read my books. I don't know what it would cost but they advertise they can make a book into a movie script. Without any guarantee's that I make a sell.

I don't know, how I would pay for it anyway. Any guesses?



A publisher called you unsolicited, and wants to publish/market your works for a fee YOU pay them?

Scam.

Get an agent, or an attorney (porque no los dos?) before you do any business with this entity.
 
2021-06-10 8:44:44 AM  
It's a scam. If you really want it out there and can't find a publisher - there are a gajillion small pubs that would probably give you a shot - publish it yourself. It's not rocket science and there's free software to help you along. Do a cover in Inkscape and Gimp, use Calibre for file conversions, Sigil to make an ePub, and KindleGen to make a mobi.

mad cowboy: I have an interesting problem. A man called me on my home phone(Land line guy). He said he was from Tome publishing company and wants to represent my books, or market them? For a price of course.

I just got an email of his proposal.  Haven't read it yet because I'm sure I can't afford it.  Plus I've been around enough to know that people love to make money on peoples dreams. Being a writer I can think of all kinds of angles for the man to call me. Not even first that he's an alien, or shape shifting lizard people.

For a second I was paranoid, how did he get my phone number? Then I remembered I've been in the phone book for about thirty years. I asked why me? He said his company has book scouts. Mostly he gave his pitch, that why write a five hundred page book, if your not going to do anything to get it out there.

Tough one, he asked if I believe in my books. I couldn't really answer that, all I did was write them, it's up to readers if they want to read it and let me know. He also said they could target my audience. Who I'm writing the book for. He suggested I should target a teen audience.

I didn't write thinking I was going to get paid, but it would be nice.
It is also kind of an ego booster that someone  read my books. I don't know what it would cost but they advertise they can make a book into a movie script. Without any guarantee's that I make a sell.

I don't know, how I would pay for it anyway. Any guesses?

 
2021-06-10 9:25:22 AM  
several of you need to Band together and start writing Roblox pulp fiction.   Get an artist (several good ones on fark)  to illustrate your books, one person to represent the group and boom, you are professional writers making money.

It might be pulp, but it would be out there (costco, target) and making money.

But it only works if you have several of you working together like Voltron.
 
2021-06-10 9:58:17 AM  

Spice Must Flow: Bradbury wrote Fahrenheit 451 on rental typewriters at the LA Public Library, I think for 10 cents an hour. One of the streets next to it is named after him.

For some reason, I had always imagined Bradbury writing 451 on the spot, racing his creativity against the clock. It made the novel even more impressive for me.

But about a year ago, I was typing a story from my hand written notes. The 'story' was mostly complete and I was simply transcribing it. Around that time 451 got mentioned, and I had the flash of insight that Bradbury had already outlined his entire book before he ever sat down at those rental typewriters.

Then I had the flash of insight that I must be a special type of simpleton to imagine that Ray Bradbury composed an entire novel while seated at a coin-operated typewriter.

And furthermore:
[Fark user image 425x515]


"melange" means "mixture", from "meler" , "to commingle", which is perhaps most commonly used today to mean meddling,  as in getting involved in somebody else's business.   Ne vous mêlez pas des aff​aires des mag​iciens, car ils sont subtils et prompts à la colère.

It's a big stretch to translate it as "variety", but it's such an odd name that I can't help thinking you're right. It's not the only French word in his universe (most of "CHOAM" qualifies, in an international-compromise kind of way, like FIFA) , but it still stands out amid all the Arabic and Dutch.    You couldn't use "varieté " or "diversité" , that would be too obvious since it would be hard to accept as a noun.

Makes me wonder why he didn't go with an Arabic term. I think "tanawue" would be right, and it's pretty opaque to English speakers.  Too opaque, I guess.
 
2021-06-10 12:07:00 PM  

Wenchmaster: mad cowboy: I have an interesting problem. A man called me on my home phone(Land line guy). He said he was from Tome publishing company and wants to represent my books, or market them? For a price of course.

I just got an email of his proposal.  Haven't read it yet because I'm sure I can't afford it.  Plus I've been around enough to know that people love to make money on peoples dreams. Being a writer I can think of all kinds of angles for the man to call me. Not even first that he's an alien, or shape shifting lizard people.

For a second I was paranoid, how did he get my phone number? Then I remembered I've been in the phone book for about thirty years. I asked why me? He said his company has book scouts. Mostly he gave his pitch, that why write a five hundred page book, if your not going to do anything to get it out there.

Tough one, he asked if I believe in my books. I couldn't really answer that, all I did was write them, it's up to readers if they want to read it and let me know. He also said they could target my audience. Who I'm writing the book for. He suggested I should target a teen audience.

I didn't write thinking I was going to get paid, but it would be nice.
It is also kind of an ego booster that someone  read my books. I don't know what it would cost but they advertise they can make a book into a movie script. Without any guarantee's that I make a sell.

I don't know, how I would pay for it anyway. Any guesses?


A publisher called you unsolicited, and wants to publish/market your works for a fee YOU pay them?

Scam.

Get an agent, or an attorney (porque no los dos?) before you do any business with this entity.


Absolutely.  That's going to be a scam, or at absolute best a vanity publisher.  Stay away.

In this day and age, everything that person is offering can be done without him. You can publish on Amazon for absolutely free--even the setup is free, and there's people on here (including me) who've done it and can help or offer advice.  You can market directly to your audience directly through Amazon, and if you can expand out from there to other booksellers as well (Barnes and Noble, etc) assuming you don't go with Kindle Unlimited, but that's a detail.

We self-publish the annual Fark Fiction Anthologies with no extra help or cost. You can, of course, always throw money at having an artist make a cover for you, or pay for ad campaigns, but in honesty getting your book in print only needs to cost you the price of whatever copies you buy for yourself or to give away. It's easy and free.
 
2021-06-10 7:21:08 PM  
I think I miss-represented the offer. I was thinking publicist . My books are already published. I'm on amazon kinder where ever. This is abut representing the book, getting it on social media, finding an audience.

I agree it's probably a scam, and I'll do a google check before I'd do anything anytime.

About self publishing. maybe after you have written a lot you can do your own thing, but there's a lot to do to get a book to paper. Of course Scribed  is easy, I've posted a couple of books on it.

Thanks for the replies, I'll read the proposal they sent me and let you know if it happens.
 
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