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(MSN)   Joel Osteen preaches "don't focus on what you have or don't have." Yet here are four things that he should get rid of   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Lakewood Church, Joel Osteen, Victoria Osteen, John Osteen, Joel Osteen's May, Pastor, Lakewood Church pastor, Hurricane Harvey response  
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1192 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Jun 2021 at 1:20 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-09 11:22:32 AM  
At least Tony Robbins has the decency to not hide behind a Bible.
 
2021-06-09 12:29:42 PM  
"Since Osteen was quick to say we shouldn't focus on what we don't have - not that he would know, since he has everything - here are some items Houstonians can take off his hands."

The form of this argument is stupid.

Yes, I know he's trying to dunk on Osteen for hypocrisy or whatever. But the argument as quoted isn't "don't have nice things," it's "don't worry about the things you do or don't have." At which point, Osteen's can simply claim "I'm not focused on my private jet and my Ferrari" and be self-consistent.

Don't get me wrong, Osteen is a parasite and a shiatty human being who should not be given airtime to promote his bullshiat, but this article is facile.
 
2021-06-09 12:51:40 PM  
I'm all for actually taxing the rich but this "hey, let's you and me give away this guy's stuff" is a dumb propostion.
 
2021-06-09 1:30:09 PM  
Why would I not focus on the stuff I have? That's why I bought it.
 
2021-06-09 1:32:30 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: "Since Osteen was quick to say we shouldn't focus on what we don't have - not that he would know, since he has everything - here are some items Houstonians can take off his hands."

The form of this argument is stupid.

Yes, I know he's trying to dunk on Osteen for hypocrisy or whatever. But the argument as quoted isn't "don't have nice things," it's "don't worry about the things you do or don't have." At which point, Osteen's can simply claim "I'm not focused on my private jet and my Ferrari" and be self-consistent.

Don't get me wrong, Osteen is a parasite and a shiatty human being who should not be given airtime to promote his bullshiat, but this article is facile.


Pedantic much?
 
2021-06-09 1:32:36 PM  
In a sane world, everyone would be outraged about this and outraged about all the politicians violating their own lockdown orders.  Instead, we have people only outraged about one or the other.

edmo: I'm all for actually taxing the rich but this "hey, let's you and me give away this guy's stuff" is a dumb propostion.


Why?  It's simply cutting out the middleman.
 
2021-06-09 1:33:28 PM  
If a group gather pitchforks, torches, and other misc. weapons and go on a rampage of pillaging and looting his property, wouldn't that be "God's will", and therefore he must accept this and be A-OK with it?
 
2021-06-09 1:37:25 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: "Since Osteen was quick to say we shouldn't focus on what we don't have - not that he would know, since he has everything - here are some items Houstonians can take off his hands."

The form of this argument is stupid.

Yes, I know he's trying to dunk on Osteen for hypocrisy or whatever. But the argument as quoted isn't "don't have nice things," it's "don't worry about the things you do or don't have." At which point, Osteen's can simply claim "I'm not focused on my private jet and my Ferrari" and be self-consistent.

Don't get me wrong, Osteen is a parasite and a shiatty human being who should not be given airtime to promote his bullshiat, but this article is facile.


We need more people like you around here.
 
2021-06-09 1:41:14 PM  
I think Osteen should follow in Christ's footsteps and do that whole cross thing to show how devout he really is. Nails and all. Maybe try that 3 day resuscitation trick!
 
2021-06-09 1:44:12 PM  
Don't focus on not riding in first class.
 
2021-06-09 1:45:21 PM  

Magnus: Martian_Astronomer: "Since Osteen was quick to say we shouldn't focus on what we don't have - not that he would know, since he has everything - here are some items Houstonians can take off his hands."

The form of this argument is stupid.

Yes, I know he's trying to dunk on Osteen for hypocrisy or whatever. But the argument as quoted isn't "don't have nice things," it's "don't worry about the things you do or don't have." At which point, Osteen's can simply claim "I'm not focused on my private jet and my Ferrari" and be self-consistent.

Don't get me wrong, Osteen is a parasite and a shiatty human being who should not be given airtime to promote his bullshiat, but this article is facile.

We need more people like you around here.


Need more? This is Fark, birthplace of Actual Lee.

If there's an anything that happens, someone will be along to "Well, Technically" the fark out of it.
 
2021-06-09 1:47:55 PM  
F*ck him, and f*ck you for making me think of him.
 
2021-06-09 1:55:39 PM  
Charlatan, sycophant, heretic, heathen, apostate, con artist, rat bastard sonofabiatch...

So many, MANY, words could describe that colossal prick.
 
2021-06-09 2:01:02 PM  
That sh*tweasel smiles too much. I don't like people who smile too much.
 
2021-06-09 2:02:57 PM  
Joel Osteen looks like what would happen if Martin Short took HGH to try to look like Tony Robbins.
 
2021-06-09 2:06:28 PM  
Bill Burr on Joel Osteen
Youtube zMgbi2quOos
 
2021-06-09 2:08:12 PM  
Joel Osteens real father is Lyle Lovett.Change my mind.
 
2021-06-09 2:17:41 PM  
Next article "Things this writer should get rid since he is preaching Joel should get rid of things".

Dude is missing the point of the message.  Maybe he should listen to more than just 20 seconds of one sermon before making an ass of himself.

I could go on but i wont.  I dont want to defend his theology, it cant really be done without bursting into flames.

But he is a decent life coach if you take the sermons that way.  Positivity, focus on what is important, and belief in yourself go along way.
 
2021-06-09 2:20:43 PM  
Some things I know about Joel Osteen:

He's a bad person with bad theology.
He's pitiful when it comes to helping his community.
He made his money from book sales and does not take a salary from his church.

Contrast that with Rick Warren who just announced his retirement this week:  (promised 40 years of ministry and delivered 40 years of ministry)

By all accounts, a genuinely good guy.
Never a hint of scandal.
Wrote one of the best selling books of all time and with the money:  Reimbursed the church for every salary they ever paid him, and "reverse-tithes" (lives off of 10% and donates 90%).  During the pandemic, he cancelled church services and devoted the church to feeding people who were out of work.  Saddleback Church ended up becoming one of the largest grocery distribution centers in all of California.
 
2021-06-09 2:23:06 PM  

I sound fat: Next article "Things this writer should get rid since he is preaching Joel should get rid of things".

Dude is missing the point of the message.  Maybe he should listen to more than just 20 seconds of one sermon before making an ass of himself.

I could go on but i wont.  I dont want to defend his theology, it cant really be done without bursting into flames.

But he is a decent life coach if you take the sermons that way.  Positivity, focus on what is important, and belief in yourself go along way.


Is it really theology if he isn't a theologian?
 
2021-06-09 2:35:09 PM  
He still says it was a blessing to get a professional basketball arena to move his church into.  I don't see that as a blessing.  An unemployed man getting a job after being out of work for awhile, that's a blessing.  A foster child getting put in a loving, caring family, that's a blessing.  A sports arena is not a blessing.
 
2021-06-09 2:50:09 PM  
The only good thing to come from Osteen is Joel Dongsteen, a Twitter bot that takes Osteen tweets and replaces 'God' with 'your dick'.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-09 2:54:15 PM  

Arachnophobe: The only good thing to come from Osteen is Joel Dongsteen, a Twitter bot that takes Osteen tweets and replaces 'God' with 'your dick'.

[Fark user image 425x465]

[Fark user image 425x391]


Sometimes the internet has these little moments of beauty where something low and crass (like Joel Osteen) is combined with something else low and crass (like a twitter bot that replaces "God" with "your dick") and the result is somehow sublime and transcendent.
 
2021-06-09 3:06:19 PM  

Back2Good: Joel Osteens real father is Lyle Lovett.Change my mind.


ACTUAL LEE

Lyle Lovett, born 11/1/1957 in Houston, Texas.  Begins drinking HGH enhanced milk in 1958.  Grows beard to cover acne in 1959.  Sings at his prom in 1960.  Becomes a rough neck to pay for hookers and blow in 1961.  Enters rehab in 1962 where he meets Joel Osteen's mom.

Joel Osteen's mom gives birth to Lyle Lovett's love child on 3/5/1963, in Houston, Texas.
 
2021-06-09 3:35:25 PM  
Why do all these shiaty articles that aren't actually MSN come through as MSN?  Not that MSN is totally all that great a place for news either...
 
2021-06-09 3:45:49 PM  

Arachnophobe: The only good thing to come from Osteen is Joel Dongsteen, a Twitter bot that takes Osteen tweets and replaces 'God' with 'your dick'.

[Fark user image image 425x465]

[Fark user image image 425x391]


Omfg... I'm f'n dying here.
 
2021-06-09 3:54:19 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: Arachnophobe: The only good thing to come from Osteen is Joel Dongsteen, a Twitter bot that takes Osteen tweets and replaces 'God' with 'your dick'.

[Fark user image image 425x465]

[Fark user image image 425x391]

Omfg... I'm f'n dying here.


Sometimes they don't QUITE work, like one of those I posted. But when they DO work, they're gold.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-09 3:56:00 PM  

Arachnophobe: Sometimes they don't QUITE work, like one of those I posted. But when they DO work, they're gold.

[Fark user image 425x426]

[Fark user image 425x468]


Okay, that last one...I can't breathe...
 
2021-06-09 3:58:11 PM  

Arachnophobe: Sometimes they don't QUITE work, like one of those I posted. But when they DO work, they're gold.


And then some of them take a really dark, sociopathic turn...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-09 5:43:47 PM  
Easy to say for a guy who has so much that he actually can't focus on a particular item, nor can he figure out what he doesn't have amid the huge pile of what he does have.
 
2021-06-10 12:19:54 AM  
TAX HIM AND ALL THE OTHER MOTHERFARKERS LIKE HIM.

Those people make me sick.
 
2021-06-10 7:55:21 PM  

Back2Good: Joel Osteens real father is Lyle Lovett.Change my mind.


Lyle Lovett: Church
Youtube zZI0zO2TS1Y
 
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