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(Marketwatch)   My sister took care of our parents and kept their $80K savings when they died. Now she wants to live rent-free in their house. She's already in my head - isn't that enough?   (marketwatch.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Sibling, Family, ethical questions, sister, own personal feelings, two-unit story building, right thing, Dow Jones  
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340 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 09 Jun 2021 at 8:50 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



8 Comments     (+0 »)
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2021-06-09 8:29:31 AM  
She's in your head? In your head. Sissy, sissy, sissy-y-y-y-y-o-o-o-o
 
2021-06-09 9:17:57 AM  
Took care of invalid parents for 8 years, and at least 4 months of bed ridden, end of life care? I'd say for $80k and a two unit apartment building you got of cheap. Sign over the property, and move on with your lives.
 
2021-06-09 9:30:42 AM  
If your sister decides as the executor of the estate that she's just going to ignore the will and give all the money to herself, you have more serious issues that you should have dealt with.
 
2021-06-09 9:35:27 AM  

duke3522: Took care of invalid parents for 8 years, and at least 4 months of bed ridden, end of life care? I'd say for $80k and a two unit apartment building you got of cheap. Sign over the property, and move on with your lives.


Yeah, that's my thought. She kept your parents from having to go to a nursing care home. That should be worth quite a bit to a decent human being.
 
2021-06-09 10:04:52 AM  

The Madd Mann: If your sister decides as the executor of the estate that she's just going to ignore the will and give all the money to herself, you have more serious issues that you should have dealt with.


Having done the unthinkable & read tfa first (I shall flog myself as penance...), the sister isn't the executor but rather the LW & a brother (at least of the real estate, it was kind of unclear about the cash (which all involved seemed to agree should go to the sister for her care of the parents)).  The property was left to all eight siblings (duplex it sounded like, parents & sister lived in one side, sister's daughter (granddaughter of the parents) lived in the other with the parents permission 'while going to school' rent free.  Since graduated & 'helping out' by paying her utilities).  With eight people having a claim on it ... yeah it needs to be sold to get the estate closed if no other reason.
 
2021-06-09 11:51:50 AM  

Recoil Therapy: The Madd Mann: If your sister decides as the executor of the estate that she's just going to ignore the will and give all the money to herself, you have more serious issues that you should have dealt with.

Having done the unthinkable & read tfa first (I shall flog myself as penance...), the sister isn't the executor but rather the LW & a brother (at least of the real estate, it was kind of unclear about the cash (which all involved seemed to agree should go to the sister for her care of the parents)).  The property was left to all eight siblings (duplex it sounded like, parents & sister lived in one side, sister's daughter (granddaughter of the parents) lived in the other with the parents permission 'while going to school' rent free.  Since graduated & 'helping out' by paying her utilities).  With eight people having a claim on it ... yeah it needs to be sold to get the estate closed if no other reason.


At the very least, sell one side, and leave the care-giver sister in the second side with her now graduate daughter.  And, yeah, along with $10K/year for caring for her invalid parents ($10k/year @ 40 hrs week = $4.80/hr -- if full time, it's only $192/week - that's not even a food budget for an 8 children family), let her just have the second half free.  As mentioned above, she kept the parents out of nursing homes which would have wiped out their life savings rapidly.

Oh, and where were the other seven siblings during all this?  Did any of them pitch in on the care?  Having cared for an Alzheimer mother for 10 years, let me tell you - the siblings are the first to wipe their hands of the care "ahh, you've got this under control - what could you possibly need my help for?"  Yes, my siblings bailed on me too.  I spent every single minute of my vacation time at mother's doctors appointments, while they went on cruises, European vacations, etc.
 
2021-06-09 12:09:57 PM  

Ixnay on the ottenray: At the very least, sell one side, and leave the care-giver sister in the second side with her now graduate daughter.


Find out the current market value of the place.  Have the sister buy it at half the price minus another 1/8th (give her the 2nd side & the other gets divided between the 8 of them).  So if it was worth, say $200k she would buy it for $87.5k.  That keeps the duplex/apt under one deed & reduced communal maintenance headaches (who pays for a new roof if it needs it...?).  I'd assume most any bank would write a mortgage where there's already 50%+ equity in the place.
 
2021-06-09 4:42:17 PM  

duke3522: Took care of invalid parents for 8 years, and at least 4 months of bed ridden, end of life care? I'd say for $80k and a two unit apartment building you got of cheap. Sign over the property, and move on with your lives.


Exactly this. You aren't losing a damned thing anyway, and what do you possibly hope to gain? If anything she's probably doing you a favor by also taking on whatever expenses/obligations/hassles that are going to come from owning the property.
 
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