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(Slate)   Muslim parents struggle to find names that won't result in their children's lives being made harder by knee-jerk discrimination. Luke Johnpaul McChristblood has a nice ring to it   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Middle name, Arabic name, short list of Arabic names, non-Muslim, baby boy, Muslim names, melting pot of America, skateboarding days  
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1747 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2021 at 12:50 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



209 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-06-08 11:59:24 AM  
I think everyone's just paranoid...I was flying with my buddy who is Middle Eastern recently and I was like "Keep you hands where I can see them, Omar!" and his name is Nick.

--Mike Birbiglia, paraphrased
 
2021-06-08 12:21:04 PM  
What, no love for George or Ringo?
 
2021-06-08 12:28:29 PM  
"IT'S PRONOUNCED AHHHS WEE PAY!!"
 
2021-06-08 12:51:27 PM  
Relax they can just change it to "Nikki"
 
2021-06-08 12:51:42 PM  
This is a rough question:  do you honor your heritage knowing it'll cause strife and hatred, or do you distance yourself from your identity because racists are the worst?
 
2021-06-08 12:52:35 PM  
Have they heard the story of Saint Floyd? Or Hunter McCrimeSpree?
 
2021-06-08 12:53:15 PM  
s3media.247sports.comView Full Size

This guys name is so white it got the first lifeboat on the Titanic.
 
2021-06-08 12:53:45 PM  
I dunno, sounds awfully Catholic...
 
2021-06-08 12:54:54 PM  
You can have whatever name you want. They're still going to ask "where you're *really* from?".
 
2021-06-08 12:54:58 PM  
I had a student once whose name was just "Islam." I could not get his name right. Something about my brain refused to accept that it could be a first name as well as a whole religion. I called him Isaac, Isaiah, Elijah, etc. He was really nice about it and just let me kept correcting myself.

Until, uh, I accidentally called him "Israel." Oops. He was still very polite but visibly frustrated. I concentrated pretty hard on getting it right after that.
 
2021-06-08 12:55:20 PM  
It might be easier to give up on Islam and try to assimilate. If it weren't for the death sentence.
 
2021-06-08 12:55:43 PM  
A judge here once carelessly threatened to deport me. (I was born in New Jersey.)

Trust me, for certain portions of New Jersey, you don't want to get deported there.

*cough* NORTH *cough*
 
2021-06-08 12:55:54 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 12:56:12 PM  

austerity101: This is a rough question:  do you honor your heritage knowing it'll cause strife and hatred, or do you distance yourself from your identity because racists are the worst?


th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 12:56:48 PM  

dothemath: [s3media.247sports.com image 850x444]
This guys name is so white it got the first lifeboat on the Titanic.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 12:57:09 PM  
Parents really should stick with the list of names you can get personalized souvenirs for. Little Tadcree is never going to get an amusement park fridge magnet with his name on it.
 
2021-06-08 12:57:20 PM  
I suggest names like Haime, Moshe, or Levi..
 
2021-06-08 12:58:37 PM  

gonegirl: Something about my brain refused to accept that it could be a first name as well as a whole religion.


Even in Albinoland, "Christian" is a common first name.
 
2021-06-08 12:58:47 PM  

WastrelWay: It might be easier to give up on Islam and try to assimilate. If it weren't for the death sentence.


Assimilate into what?   Be specific.
 
2021-06-08 12:58:55 PM  
Obligatory
i.kinja-img.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 12:59:30 PM  

Solty Dog: Parents really should stick with the list of names you can get personalized souvenirs for. Little Tadcree is never going to get an amusement park fridge magnet with his name on it.


compote.slate.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 12:59:30 PM  

phalamir: gonegirl: Something about my brain refused to accept that it could be a first name as well as a whole religion.

Even in Albinoland, "Christian" is a common first name.


Yeah, but "Christianity" is not.
 
2021-06-08 12:59:35 PM  

baronbloodbath: A judge here once carelessly threatened to deport me. (I was born in New Jersey.)

Trust me, for certain portions of New Jersey, you don't want to get deported there.

*cough* NORTH *cough*


Son, we've had enough.  You are irredeemable and incorrigible, and society will no longer waste it's time trying to change that.  I hereby sentence you to Camden, and may god have mercy on your soul.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 1:00:10 PM  

jaytkay: Obligatory[i.kinja-img.com image 479x403]


Newport. Black people arent really naming their kids after menthol cigarettes are they? This is made up....?

Unless youre Omar from The Wire thats not a great decision.
 
2021-06-08 1:00:49 PM  
Lee Harvey Al-Masood has a nice ring to it.
 
2021-06-08 1:01:50 PM  

Solty Dog: Parents really should stick with the list of names you can get personalized souvenirs for. Little Tadcree is never going to get an amusement park fridge magnet with his name on it.


CONFORM, CITIZEN
 
2021-06-08 1:02:17 PM  

dothemath: jaytkay: Obligatory[i.kinja-img.com image 479x403]

Newport. Black people arent really naming their kids after menthol cigarettes are they? This is made up....?

Unless youre Omar from The Wire thats not a great decision.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 1:02:59 PM  
 
2021-06-08 1:03:15 PM  

austerity101: This is a rough question:  do you honor your heritage knowing it'll cause strife and hatred, or do you distance yourself from your identity because racists are the worst?


Let's run it up a flagpole.
 
2021-06-08 1:03:40 PM  

baorao: You can have whatever name you want. They're still going to ask "where you're *really* from?".


Lol true.
Back when you could go to restaurants I would go to the Mandarin and in horribly broken English my waitress and Waiter were always named Rebecca, Michael, Lisa, Ryan and whatnot and I always wanted to just up and ask wtf their actual name was.
Becuase if you have an English name but struggle to pronounce Coca-Cola or Today's Special Is then odds are you're not really called that name when not on the Buffet Floor.
 
2021-06-08 1:03:48 PM  

dothemath: [s3media.247sports.com image 850x444]
This guys name is so white it got the first lifeboat on the Titanic.


Bonus points for the giant crucifix on his right forearm....I'm sure he's a giant piece of shiat already.
 
2021-06-08 1:03:55 PM  

bughunter: I suggest names like Haime, Moshe, or Levi..


One of our rabid apartheid defenders shrieked "anti-Semite!!!" at me for using Moshe as a generic name for a Jew. Regarding some failure by Israeli cops, I joked "That's some fine police work there, Moshe"
 
2021-06-08 1:03:57 PM  

Subtonic: dothemath: jaytkay: Obligatory[i.kinja-img.com image 479x403]

Newport. Black people arent really naming their kids after menthol cigarettes are they? This is made up....?

Unless youre Omar from The Wire thats not a great decision.

[Fark user image 850x765]


Ok, I missed the joke.

My eye just caught on that one word.
 
2021-06-08 1:04:19 PM  

dothemath: jaytkay: Obligatory[i.kinja-img.com image 479x403]

Newport. Black people arent really naming their kids after menthol cigarettes are they? This is made up....?

Unless youre Omar from The Wire thats not a great decision.


Yes it is made up, and pretty insulting to boot.

Sinutab should have been your first clue.  Oh, and Propecia, too.

I did know a local girl who named her daughter Chablis.   A white girl.  I made a snarky comment about naming her first son Burgundy.  It wasn't appreciated.
 
2021-06-08 1:06:07 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: baronbloodbath: A judge here once carelessly threatened to deport me. (I was born in New Jersey.)

Trust me, for certain portions of New Jersey, you don't want to get deported there.

*cough* NORTH *cough*

Son, we've had enough.  You are irredeemable and incorrigible, and society will no longer waste it's time trying to change that.  I hereby sentence you to Camden, and may god have mercy on your soul.

[Fark user image image 263x192]


Could be worse. I spent a year in Newark, one evening.
 
2021-06-08 1:06:10 PM  
Ayden, Cayden and his twin brother Caiden, ticondereeka, shawasaneika, and Bob.
 
2021-06-08 1:07:00 PM  
A tale as old as time.  At least we're past the days of the workers at Ellis Island telling you what your name was.
 
2021-06-08 1:07:15 PM  

Dewey Fidalgo: Yes it is made up, and pretty insulting to boot.


lighten up, Francis.
 
2021-06-08 1:08:38 PM  
Romesh Ranganathan's Real Name Is JONATHAN RANGANATHAN | Universal Comedy
Youtube efz4ExtNxRU
 
2021-06-08 1:09:00 PM  

gonegirl: phalamir: gonegirl: Something about my brain refused to accept that it could be a first name as well as a whole religion.

Even in Albinoland, "Christian" is a common first name.

Yeah, but "Christianity" is not.


That's what you would call him when he's little.
 
2021-06-08 1:09:05 PM  

austerity101: This is a rough question:  do you honor your heritage knowing it'll cause strife and hatred, or do you distance yourself from your identity because racists are the worst?


Lots of immigrants have made the decision to go with more familiar name for their kids it's one of the easiest ways to help them integrate. Asians have been doing it for years and they are doing quite well. You don't have to fit in but if you decide to stick out don't complain because people can't pronounce your name.
 
2021-06-08 1:11:01 PM  
I knew two brothers, both named Mohammed. They went by their middle names. I learned a bit about the Islamic version of religious food restrictions as I am curious on how people make good stuff when you can't use all the cool stuff.
 
2021-06-08 1:11:02 PM  
Saw a patient on the schedule the other day named Sinnamon. I thought it was kinda neat.
 
2021-06-08 1:12:08 PM  

TotallyRealNotFake: baorao: You can have whatever name you want. They're still going to ask "where you're *really* from?".

Lol true.
Back when you could go to restaurants I would go to the Mandarin and in horribly broken English my waitress and Waiter were always named Rebecca, Michael, Lisa, Ryan and whatnot and I always wanted to just up and ask wtf their actual name was.
Becuase if you have an English name but struggle to pronounce Coca-Cola or Today's Special Is then odds are you're not really called that name when not on the Buffet Floor.


That happens a ton in the Boston area.  Tons of the Chinese grad engineering students (and I'm assuming ugrads too, just didn't interact with them) had an "American" first name they went by instead of what their legal name was (but was still visible in their university email address).  I've also encountered that with resident physicians around there too.  I had one whose name tag was "Emily" but her official name on the documents was a string of vowels, Xs and Hs I had no hope of pronouncing correctly without help or a google search.  They all seem to speak decent English though as long as you don't use many idioms or words with subtle meanings that aren't part of the dictionary definition.
 
2021-06-08 1:12:43 PM  

jaytkay: bughunter: I suggest names like Haime, Moshe, or Levi..

One of our rabid apartheid defenders shrieked "anti-Semite!!!" at me for using Moshe as a generic name for a Jew. Regarding some failure by Israeli cops, I joked "That's some fine police work there, Moshe"


Just hit 'em over the head with this:

https://www.chabad.org/library/article​_cdo/aid/3825225/jewish/Popular-Jewish​-Hebrew-Boy-Names.htm

/note the domain
//fark dinnae ken the url
 
2021-06-08 1:13:00 PM  

Gleeman: Saw a patient on the schedule the other day named Sinnamon. I thought it was kinda neat.


That's a stripper name.
 
2021-06-08 1:13:38 PM  
Unless you can change the color of your skin, choosing a different name aint going to change a damn thing with racists
 
2021-06-08 1:13:44 PM  
There a PBA bull rider named Ryan Dirteater.
I can dig wanting to honor his native American ancestors, but that's just not an auspicious name for a bull rider.
 
2021-06-08 1:13:46 PM  
When I was in Boy Scouts we had a scout of Latino origin named Jesus, and for the longest time I actually thought his name was Zeus. Because "Hey, Zeus!"

/yes I was am that dumb
 
2021-06-08 1:14:03 PM  

Gleeman: Saw a patient on the schedule the other day named Sinnamon. I thought it was kinda neat.


Was this at the stripper clinic?
 
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