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(Mirror.co.uk)   Chef shares hack for committing one of the greatest food crimes known to humanity   (mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Sick, Damnation, extra cheesy pizza, sneaky pizza chef, sneaky little hack, sly pizza hack, triangular shape, whole life, else feel  
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1437 clicks; posted to Food » on 08 Jun 2021 at 10:17 AM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-08 9:53:50 AM  
Fark Conundrum:

The pizza has ham and pineapple on it.
 
2021-06-08 10:04:56 AM  
Except that when you put it in a box, it is going to be obvious that the diameter of the pizza is much smaller than what the box was made to handle.

If this is a place you've ordered from before, you have a pretty good idea of how big the pizza is supposed to be.

And this would be pretty goddamn hard for pizza delivery drivers to pull off since the pizza has probably already been sliced by the time they get it and if it wasn't sliced in this particular fashion, the con ain't going to work.

/Professor Snopes
 
2021-06-08 10:20:39 AM  
Just grab a couple of sausage pieces off the top like all the other delivery drivers.
 
2021-06-08 10:21:33 AM  
I think we've reached the point where use of the word "hack" to describe anything that's not related to an attack by a bladed weapon should result in permanent excommunication from society. Just start shipping people to some island somewhere, leave them there, and tell them that they can leave if they find a way to hack their way out.
 
2021-06-08 10:24:01 AM  

Pocket Ninja: I think we've reached the point where use of the word "hack" to describe anything that's not related to an attack by a bladed weapon should result in permanent excommunication from society. Just start shipping people to some island somewhere, leave them there, and tell them that they can leave if they find a way to hack their way out.


I'm going to use this idea in my blog post entitled, "How to hack society to make it better".
 
2021-06-08 10:27:35 AM  

Pocket Ninja: I think we've reached the point where use of the word "hack" to describe anything that's not related to an attack by a bladed weapon should result in permanent excommunication from society. Just start shipping people to some island somewhere, leave them there, and tell them that they can leave if they find a way to hack their way out.


Easy. I have this one weird trick that excommunicators hate!
 
2021-06-08 10:31:32 AM  
So, theft then?
 
2021-06-08 10:33:04 AM  
Today, I learned shurikens are part of a hackers arsenal.
 
2021-06-08 10:34:29 AM  
Seems like a lot of work, and risk to your job, for one lousy slice of pizza.
 
2021-06-08 10:37:21 AM  

Pocket Ninja: I think we've reached the point where use of the word "hack" to describe anything that's not related to an attack by a bladed weapon should result in permanent excommunication from society. Just start shipping people to some island somewhere, leave them there, and tell them that they can leave if they find a way to hack their way out.


No more, Hack the planet!? =(
 
2021-06-08 10:50:20 AM  
If there is a "chef" involved in a pizza you're eating, you're doing it wrong.
 
Ant
2021-06-08 10:50:49 AM  

Combustion: Seems like a lot of work, and risk to your job, for one lousy slice of pizza.


Yeah, the real way to get free pizza is to accidentally make the wrong pizza, or have a friend call in an order, then cancel after it's already been made.

These tactics only work if your manager isn't following company policy too closely, because the official response to a mistake is supposed to be to trash the order.

I got so sick of pizza when I was in highschool that I don't think I wanted it for a few years after quitting Pizza Hut. I don't see why anyone would ever have to resort to cutting themselves a piece like in the article.
 
2021-06-08 10:55:45 AM  

Ant: Combustion: Seems like a lot of work, and risk to your job, for one lousy slice of pizza.

Yeah, the real way to get free pizza is to accidentally make the wrong pizza, or have a friend call in an order, then cancel after it's already been made.

These tactics only work if your manager isn't following company policy too closely, because the official response to a mistake is supposed to be to trash the order.

I got so sick of pizza when I was in highschool that I don't think I wanted it for a few years after quitting Pizza Hut. I don't see why anyone would ever have to resort to cutting themselves a piece like in the article.


I don't think they do. It's just click-bait TikTok nonsense.
 
2021-06-08 11:02:47 AM  

Barfmaker: Pocket Ninja: I think we've reached the point where use of the word "hack" to describe anything that's not related to an attack by a bladed weapon should result in permanent excommunication from society. Just start shipping people to some island somewhere, leave them there, and tell them that they can leave if they find a way to hack their way out.

I'm going to use this idea in my blog post entitled, "How to hack society to make it better".


I'd do that, but I had to give up my blog after everyone called me a talentless hack.
 
2021-06-08 11:03:07 AM  
Is it none pizza with left beef?
 
2021-06-08 11:12:22 AM  
This "hack" is dumb. Plus, if you work in a pizza place, you don't have to steal it, you can have it anytime you want. Free or at a reduced price.

We (at unnamed pizza place) traded food with nearby places (KFC, etc.). We were not supposed to do this, but ... we were making minimum wage plus tips, so fark the owner guy.
 
2021-06-08 11:19:18 AM  
why would anyone who works at a pizza place need to do this
 
2021-06-08 11:34:22 AM  

EatHam: why would anyone who works at a pizza place need to do this


Extra income from viral videos.
 
2021-06-08 11:49:23 AM  
I do admire the geometry, That could be the Donnie two-scoops slice [keyboard is drying still no period key]
 
2021-06-08 11:52:48 AM  

syrynxx: If there is a "chef" involved in a pizza you're eating, you're doing it wrong.


Nah, there's room for all kinds of pizza.  From the small shop around the corner to semi-fine dining.  It's all good.
 
2021-06-08 11:56:17 AM  
Wait until they see my Banach-Tarski pizza slicing method.
 
2021-06-08 1:18:12 PM  
...or you could just eat that "mistake" pie...

Seriously. You don't have to steal food from customers. And for damn sure not be so f*cking obvious about it. Congrats on creating a worry where none actually existed.
 
2021-06-08 1:58:30 PM  
So, the guy that makes pizza for a living, has all the required ingredients on hand and a real pizza oven to cook it in is going to 'steal' a slice from your pie. Pretty sure even the delivery driver gets a free slice or two per shift.
 
2021-06-08 1:59:44 PM  

Barfmaker: Pocket Ninja: I think we've reached the point where use of the word "hack" to describe anything that's not related to an attack by a bladed weapon should result in permanent excommunication from society. Just start shipping people to some island somewhere, leave them there, and tell them that they can leave if they find a way to hack their way out.

I'm going to use this idea in my blog post entitled, "How to hack society to make it better".


You mean hack with a bladed weapon, tho.  Right?

Motion Seconded, if that is the case.
 
2021-06-08 2:22:10 PM  
Yeah sure like I'm not going to notice the significant reduction in pizza volume. What an ass.
 
2021-06-08 2:39:18 PM  

syrynxx: If there is a "chef" involved in a pizza you're eating, you're doing it wrong.


Ok, when you're right you're right.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 2:45:05 PM  
The video very carefully does not show the pizza from above when it's pushed back together. Because it would look obviously oblong and the slices would probably not meet up perfectly. This is a great way to get fired when your first customer complains.
 
2021-06-08 3:27:01 PM  
Slicing pizza is hard for a lot of people. I don't eat a lot. When I buy a pizza I ask them to slice it into four because usually they slice into six, but I can't eat six slices. There look at me like I'm an idiot and slice it into six! So I throw two slices in the bin. If they'd sliced it into four there would be no waste. I hate wasting pizza, but I just can't eat six slices.
 
2021-06-08 4:54:47 PM  
Yeah, great - now ya got an unsaleable weird slice and the boss is pissed at you for farking around stealing food and jacking his reputation up - you used to have a job but totally worth it.  Cough.  That kind of shiat is only useful for repairing a pie that had something catastrophic happen to the middle, so you at least have something to serve.  And even then, you tell them what happened and make 'em another small or something to make up for it.
 
2021-06-08 5:04:22 PM  

Ambitwistor: Wait until they see my Banach-Tarski pizza slicing method.


What if your manager won't let you assume AC?
 
2021-06-08 5:52:13 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 7:02:39 PM  

Swiss Colony: Slicing pizza is hard for a lot of people. I don't eat a lot. When I buy a pizza I ask them to slice it into four because usually they slice into six, but I can't eat six slices. There look at me like I'm an idiot and slice it into six! So I throw two slices in the bin. If they'd sliced it into four there would be no waste. I hate wasting pizza, but I just can't eat six slices.


images01.military.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 8:40:29 PM  
That bullschitt doesn't fly. I know exactly what 18" is and what 12" is. 18" is the span of my two hands, and 12" is 2x the length of my dick measured from the taint. I'd never fall for it...
 
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