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(NBC Washington)   Kayaker who was attempting to solo paddle from California to Hawaii would like to thank you for providing the tax dollars that were used to rescue his dumb ass at sea   (nbcwashington.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, United States Coast Guard, Ocean, Cyril Derreumaux, Canadian Coast Guard, Coast guard, land crew, Kayak, U.S. Coast Guard helicopter  
•       •       •

2482 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jun 2021 at 12:41 AM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-06-07 9:47:52 PM  
45kts of wind and 16ft seas for most of the last month and this clown thinks it's a good time to paddle to Hawaii? "Uhh..you're breaking up, what was your location? Sorry can't hear you, over and out"
 
2021-06-07 9:59:23 PM  
rock95.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 11:30:30 PM  
Cyril Derreumaux

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 12:42:43 AM  
People should be free to do stupid shiat.  They should also be free to die.
 
2021-06-08 12:42:45 AM  
Why, is it far? I bet not many people knew that it was far until he found out.
 
2021-06-08 12:46:10 AM  
Geez, he only had 2,330 miles to go. Must be hard to get so close not make it.
 
2021-06-08 12:46:34 AM  
While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."
 
2021-06-08 12:52:32 AM  
At least he didn't bring a pug along to drown with him
 
2021-06-08 12:52:52 AM  
His foolproof plan was almost perfect he had the fool part covered but he forgot the plan part.
 
2021-06-08 12:53:36 AM  
After consulting with his land crew, Derreumaux phoned the Coast Guard

How I admire this intrepid, bold, summit-busting, barrier-breaking adventurer thought his plan through.
 
2021-06-08 12:54:13 AM  
They should have sent a rescue ship out there. When they got close they should have got on their speaker, yelled "FARK YOU, DUMBASS", and then left. Seriously, the only point of doing such a risky trip solo is to later brag about your giant balls and not having a safety net.
 
2021-06-08 12:54:39 AM  

maddog2030: 45kts of wind and 16ft seas for most of the last month and this clown thinks it's a good time to paddle to Hawaii? "Uhh..you're breaking up, what was your location? Sorry can't hear you, over and out"


... We're going to have to send in a navy aircraft to drop a laser guided position marker.
 
2021-06-08 12:56:17 AM  

The Pope of Manwich Village: Geez, he only had 2,330 miles to go. Must be hard to get so close not make it.


At his pace he only had another 210 days .. Piece of cake for a speedster like him ..
 
2021-06-08 12:57:45 AM  
My thought exactly subby.  Even for Marin that dude is hella clueless and entitled.  And that's saying something.

""Morale is good, I still have my passion for this adventure intact, and I am still determined to make it happen," Derreumaux wrote. "I won't give up!!!" "
 
2021-06-08 12:58:50 AM  

Wobambo: Why, is it far? I bet not many people knew that it was far until he found out.


Depending on your map or globe, a couple of inches. Shouldn't take long.
 
2021-06-08 12:58:59 AM  
After consulting with his land crew, Derreumaux phoned the Coast Guard for a rescue Saturday night about 70 miles west of Santa Cruz.

So exactly why didn't this dumbass try the novel idea of... turning around?  Its not an issue of the ocean currents, as its more southern at that point...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 1:00:31 AM  
Derreumaux's boat remains adrift in the ocean. He said he hopes to coordinate a retrieval effort this week when the winds die down.

Someone needs to go scuttle that piece of garbage and say they lost it during a salvage attempt.
 
2021-06-08 1:01:56 AM  
idiot has no clue about currents and wind
 
2021-06-08 1:02:32 AM  
70 miles, huh? Almost made it
 
2021-06-08 1:03:16 AM  

NephilimNexus: While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."


Part of socialized medicine should be genetic or brain engineering to stop people in the system from doing things that are not good for the system.  If a person wants to be or cannot be part of the system, they should be shat out of the system and become and outlander or non person.  A person who is part of the socialized medical system shouldn't even be able to just suddenly opt out of it and then waste the decades of resources applied to them.  They should be in they system until the system deems them a waste of resources.

For instance:  A person is born into the socialized medical system.  And that system provides resources to keep them healthy and alive for 21 or so years.  They used public education the whole time, and were even trained to be an engineer or even a government worker.  Then the "person" with "free will" just decides to kayak to hawaii from California.  And the system lets them, since they can be free, but the system won't save them.  However the system just spent 21 years wasting resources on them.  Why should they be free to waste the resources of the system?  Instead, wouldn't it be better for the system to take away free will and make the "person" work towards the goals and betterment of the collective?  Let the chuds who are not part of the system waste their lives and resources on stupid shiat.

However, if a person does their time and benefits the collective and are no longer a benefit to the collective, such as uncurable cancer that the system will just waste resources keeping the "person" alive on, then that person should be allowed or even encouraged to do stupid shiat, so they are no longer a burden on the system.  In such a situation, and only in these extreme situations should a person in the system be allowed out.  If a person is dying but their meat is healthy enough to be converted into soylent green, they should be sent to the soylent factory, not allowed to kayak to hawaii.  If the system paid for the meat, the system should be allowed to eat the meat.
 
2021-06-08 1:06:32 AM  

BadReligion: Wobambo: Why, is it far? I bet not many people knew that it was far until he found out.

Depending on your map or globe, a couple of inches. Shouldn't take long.


Hey Anne Frank is out in that area somewhere, on an island, maybe she could have helped the guy.
 
2021-06-08 1:08:41 AM  
Kayak shouldn't have used cardboard and cardboard derivatives.
 
2021-06-08 1:10:56 AM  
I bet he'll get home and the first thing he'll do is take a shower, put on some clean and comfy clothes, grab a hot cup of tea and stare at the Successories picture in his den for two hours straight.
 
2021-06-08 1:11:38 AM  
I've kayaked on the Delaware river from the Walt Whitman bridge down to Dave and Busters (just beyond the Ben Franklin bridge) and back a number of times. Roughly an 12 mile round trip in ripping tidal water. That alone will build up lactic acid if you don't manage your stride correctly.. It's grueling to fight tidal water. I came prepared, PFD on, food, water, cell phone in a water proof container in case of an emergency. Let friends and family know what I was doing each time.

So. How this idiot thought paddling 2000+ miles in the farking ocean was going to be a good idea is mind boggling.
 
2021-06-08 1:17:42 AM  
I hope the tail he imagined he'd get from this was high quality.
 
2021-06-08 1:18:37 AM  
70 miles really?  A 16 y/o girl rowed across the Atlantic Ocean solo a few years ago.  I hope the Coast Guard confiscated his man card and gave him a hole punch on his Darwin card.
 
2021-06-08 1:20:35 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: NephilimNexus: While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."

Part of socialized medicine should be genetic or brain engineering to stop people in the system from doing things that are not good for the system.  If a person wants to be or cannot be part of the system, they should be shat out of the system and become and outlander or non person.  A person who is part of the socialized medical system shouldn't even be able to just suddenly opt out of it and then waste the decades of resources applied to them.  They should be in they system until the system deems them a waste of resources.

For instance:  A person is born into the socialized medical system.  And that system provides resources to keep them healthy and alive for 21 or so years.  They used public education the whole time, and were even trained to be an engineer or even a government worker.  Then the "person" with "free will" just decides to kayak to hawaii from California.  And the system lets them, since they can be free, but the system won't save them.  However the system just spent 21 years wasting resources on them.  Why should they be free to waste the resources of the system?  Instead, wouldn't it be better for the system to take away free will and make the "person" work towards the goals and betterment of the collective?  Let the chuds who are not part of the system waste their lives and resources on stupid shiat.

However, if a person does their time and benefits the collective and are no longer a benefit to the collective, such as uncurable cancer that the system will just waste resources keeping the "person" alive on, then that person should be allowed or even encouraged to do stupid shiat, so they are no longer a burden on the system.  In such a situation, and only in these extreme situations should a person in the system be allowed out.  If a person is dying but their meat is healthy enough to be converted into soylent green, they should be sent to the soylent factory, not allowed to kayak to hawaii.  If the system paid for the meat, the system should be allowed to eat the meat.


That sounds like the makings of a good movie. Has sort of a Brave New World vibe to it.
 
2021-06-08 1:24:13 AM  
Ope, I think I found the guy's problem...

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 1:24:55 AM  

FarkingSmurf: 70 miles really?  A 16 y/o girl rowed across the Atlantic Ocean solo a few years ago.  I hope the Coast Guard confiscated his man card and gave him a hole punch on his Darwin card.


I thought she sailed solo. Rowing is a whole neither animal.
 
2021-06-08 1:25:59 AM  

styckx: I've kayaked on the Delaware river from the Walt Whitman bridge down to Dave and Busters (just beyond the Ben Franklin bridge) and back a number of times. Roughly an 12 mile round trip in ripping tidal water. That alone will build up lactic acid if you don't manage your stride correctly.. It's grueling to fight tidal water. I came prepared, PFD on, food, water, cell phone in a water proof container in case of an emergency. Let friends and family know what I was doing each time.

So. How this idiot thought paddling 2000+ miles in the farking ocean was going to be a good idea is mind boggling.


https://explorersweb.com/2020/12/28/t​o​p-expeditions-1970-2020-5-ed-gillet-ka​yaks-to-hawaii/

Ed Gillet should have died in his attempt. I cannot imagine the nightmares that followed his trip.
 
2021-06-08 1:28:38 AM  
Maybe he could just use Kayak.com to book a flight next time and just tell people he kayaked all the way to save face.
 
2021-06-08 1:32:07 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: NephilimNexus: While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."

Part of socialized medicine should be genetic or brain engineering to stop people in the system from doing things that are not good for the system.  If a person wants to be or cannot be part of the system, they should be shat out of the system and become and outlander or non person.  A person who is part of the socialized medical system shouldn't even be able to just suddenly opt out of it and then waste the decades of resources applied to them.  They should be in they system until the system deems them a waste of resources.

For instance:  A person is born into the socialized medical system.  And that system provides resources to keep them healthy and alive for 21 or so years.  They used public education the whole time, and were even trained to be an engineer or even a government worker.  Then the "person" with "free will" just decides to kayak to hawaii from California.  And the system lets them, since they can be free, but the system won't save them.  However the system just spent 21 years wasting resources on them.  Why should they be free to waste the resources of the system?  Instead, wouldn't it be better for the system to take away free will and make the "person" work towards the goals and betterment of the collective?  Let the chuds who are not part of the system waste their lives and resources on stupid shiat.

However, if a person does their time and benefits the collective and are no longer a benefit to the collective, such as uncurable cancer that the system will just waste resources keeping the "person" alive on, then that person should be allowed or even encouraged to do stupid shiat, so they are no longer a burden on the system.  In such a situation, and only in these extreme situations should a person in the system be allowed out.  If a person is dying but their meat is healthy enough to be ...


Hitler and Marx would battle for who should be prouder of this mindset.
 
2021-06-08 1:32:41 AM  
Please put me back on the land

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-08 1:34:03 AM  

FarkingSmurf: 70 miles really?  A 16 y/o girl rowed across the Atlantic Ocean solo a few years ago.  I hope the Coast Guard confiscated his man card and gave him a hole punch on his Darwin card.


wasn't she rescued as well, after her boat was damaged by the ocean?
 
2021-06-08 1:34:24 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: NephilimNexus: While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."

Part of socialized medicine should be genetic or brain engineering to stop people in the system from doing things that are not good for the system.  If a person wants to be or cannot be part of the system, they should be shat out of the system and become and outlander or non person.  A person who is part of the socialized medical system shouldn't even be able to just suddenly opt out of it and then waste the decades of resources applied to them.  They should be in they system until the system deems them a waste of resources.

For instance:  A person is born into the socialized medical system.  And that system provides resources to keep them healthy and alive for 21 or so years.  They used public education the whole time, and were even trained to be an engineer or even a government worker.  Then the "person" with "free will" just decides to kayak to hawaii from California.  And the system lets them, since they can be free, but the system won't save them.  However the system just spent 21 years wasting resources on them.  Why should they be free to waste the resources of the system?  Instead, wouldn't it be better for the system to take away free will and make the "person" work towards the goals and betterment of the collective?  Let the chuds who are not part of the system waste their lives and resources on stupid shiat.

However, if a person does their time and benefits the collective and are no longer a benefit to the collective, such as uncurable cancer that the system will just waste resources keeping the "person" alive on, then that person should be allowed or even encouraged to do stupid shiat, so they are no longer a burden on the system.  In such a situation, and only in these extreme situations should a person in the system be allowed out.  If a person is dying but their meat is healthy enough to be ...


The intro to idiocracy is a good example of how this guy developed...
 
2021-06-08 1:35:44 AM  

almejita: BadReligion: Wobambo: Why, is it far? I bet not many people knew that it was far until he found out.

Depending on your map or globe, a couple of inches. Shouldn't take long.

Hey Anne Frank is out in that area somewhere, on an island, maybe she could have helped the guy.


dunno about that, she can't see or hear the ocean.
 
2021-06-08 1:37:24 AM  

BadReligion: FarkingSmurf: 70 miles really?  A 16 y/o girl rowed across the Atlantic Ocean solo a few years ago.  I hope the Coast Guard confiscated his man card and gave him a hole punch on his Darwin card.

I thought she sailed solo. Rowing is a whole neither animal.


I think my brain combined two separate things into one. the female rower was 21 y/o solo Atlantic rower.

https://abcnews.go.com/International/​j​asmine-harrison-youngest-woman-row-sol​o-ocean/story?id=76030771

The sailor was the youngest female to solo circumnavigate the globe, aged 16.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_D​e​kker#2010%E2%80%932011_solo_circumnavi​gation
 
2021-06-08 1:39:02 AM  

Abox: I hope the tail he imagined he'd get from this was high quality.


He's s power bottom.
 
2021-06-08 1:39:04 AM  

maddog2030: 45kts of wind and 16ft seas for most of the last month and this clown thinks it's a good time to paddle to Hawaii? "Uhh..you're breaking up, what was your location? Sorry can't hear you, over and out"


45 kilotons of wind does seem like way too much.
 
2021-06-08 1:44:24 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: NephilimNexus: While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."

Part of socialized medicine should be genetic or brain engineering to stop people in the system from doing things that are not good for the system.  If a person wants to be or cannot be part of the system, they should be shat out of the system and become and outlander or non person.  A person who is part of the socialized medical system shouldn't even be able to just suddenly opt out of it and then waste the decades of resources applied to them.  They should be in they system until the system deems them a waste of resources.

For instance:  A person is born into the socialized medical system.  And that system provides resources to keep them healthy and alive for 21 or so years.  They used public education the whole time, and were even trained to be an engineer or even a government worker.  Then the "person" with "free will" just decides to kayak to hawaii from California.  And the system lets them, since they can be free, but the system won't save them.  However the system just spent 21 years wasting resources on them.  Why should they be free to waste the resources of the system?  Instead, wouldn't it be better for the system to take away free will and make the "person" work towards the goals and betterment of the collective?  Let the chuds who are not part of the system waste their lives and resources on stupid shiat.

However, if a person does their time and benefits the collective and are no longer a benefit to the collective, such as uncurable cancer that the system will just waste resources keeping the "person" alive on, then that person should be allowed or even encouraged to do stupid shiat, so they are no longer a burden on the system.  In such a situation, and only in these extreme situations should a person in the system be allowed out.  If a person is dying but their meat is healthy enough to be converted into soylent green, they should be sent to the soylent factory, not allowed to kayak to hawaii.  If the system paid for the meat, the system should be allowed to eat the meat.


Fascism ispretty popular at the moment, so maybe your idea could gain some ground in the next few years.
 
2021-06-08 1:44:46 AM  
Why does everyone always have to pay to bail people out of situations they created for themselves?!
 
2021-06-08 1:48:09 AM  
It would only have taken him another 233 days at that rate of travel, why'd he quit?
 
2021-06-08 1:49:12 AM  

The more you eat the more you fart: Why does everyone always have to pay to bail people out of situations they created for themselves?!


See the GOP in action.  Texas's electrical grid system is a good recent example.
 
2021-06-08 1:51:20 AM  

deadsanta: It would only have taken him another 233 days at that rate of travel, why'd he quit?


Wilson jumped ship, he emotionally broke down after that.
 
2021-06-08 1:55:43 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: NephilimNexus: While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."

Part of socialized medicine should be genetic or brain engineering to stop people in the system from doing things that are not good for the system.  If a person wants to be or cannot be part of the system, they should be shat out of the system and become and outlander or non person.  A person who is part of the socialized medical system shouldn't even be able to just suddenly opt out of it and then waste the decades of resources applied to them.  They should be in they system until the system deems them a waste of resources.

For instance:  A person is born into the socialized medical system.  And that system provides resources to keep them healthy and alive for 21 or so years.  They used public education the whole time, and were even trained to be an engineer or even a government worker.  Then the "person" with "free will" just decides to kayak to hawaii from California.  And the system lets them, since they can be free, but the system won't save them.  However the system just spent 21 years wasting resources on them.  Why should they be free to waste the resources of the system?  Instead, wouldn't it be better for the system to take away free will and make the "person" work towards the goals and betterment of the collective?  Let the chuds who are not part of the system waste their lives and resources on stupid shiat.

However, if a person does their time and benefits the collective and are no longer a benefit to the collective, such as uncurable cancer that the system will just waste resources keeping the "person" alive on, then that person should be allowed or even encouraged to do stupid shiat, so they are no longer a burden on the system.  In such a situation, and only in these extreme situations should a person in the system be allowed out.  If a person is dying but their meat is healthy enough to be ...

Wait a minute!

I'm starting to think this guy is adopting some kind of persona.

Are people often not totally genuine on fark?
 
2021-06-08 2:00:14 AM  
He was probably also cold, because you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
 
2021-06-08 2:05:08 AM  

LordOfThePings: Please put me back on the land

[Fark user image image 804x453]


Freaking love that story
 
2021-06-08 2:20:21 AM  

TorpedoOrca: 70 miles, huh? Almost made it


In six days
 
2021-06-08 2:22:28 AM  

The Darkest Timeline: AmbassadorBooze: NephilimNexus: While I do support the idea of socialized medicine, articles like this force me to place an addendum that begins with "certain exceptions apply."

Part of socialized medicine should be genetic or brain engineering to stop people in the system from doing things that are not good for the system.  If a person wants to be or cannot be part of the system, they should be shat out of the system and become and outlander or non person.  A person who is part of the socialized medical system shouldn't even be able to just suddenly opt out of it and then waste the decades of resources applied to them.  They should be in they system until the system deems them a waste of resources.

For instance:  A person is born into the socialized medical system.  And that system provides resources to keep them healthy and alive for 21 or so years.  They used public education the whole time, and were even trained to be an engineer or even a government worker.  Then the "person" with "free will" just decides to kayak to hawaii from California.  And the system lets them, since they can be free, but the system won't save them.  However the system just spent 21 years wasting resources on them.  Why should they be free to waste the resources of the system?  Instead, wouldn't it be better for the system to take away free will and make the "person" work towards the goals and betterment of the collective?  Let the chuds who are not part of the system waste their lives and resources on stupid shiat.

However, if a person does their time and benefits the collective and are no longer a benefit to the collective, such as uncurable cancer that the system will just waste resources keeping the "person" alive on, then that person should be allowed or even encouraged to do stupid shiat, so they are no longer a burden on the system.  In such a situation, and only in these extreme situations should a person in the system be allowed out.  If a person is dying but their meat is hea ...


It isn't fascism.  It is keeping people safe, and productive for the collective.  Fascism is what trump wants.  Does trump want people to have universal health care, and to be well educated and productive for the collective?  No, he just wants racism and to grab em by the pussy.  But we cannot have universal health care and a collective if a person can just opt out of the collective, after decades of resources are invested, when they feel like it.  For the collective to work, all units in it must be singularly unified to make the collective work and grow.  What I want is a collective utopia.  A new age of aquarious.  I want everybody to work together, be educated, and make the collective better, and grow the collective.  Ideally towards a singular hive mind consiousness where we are literally all one.
 
2021-06-08 2:36:22 AM  

Tex570: styckx: I've kayaked on the Delaware river from the Walt Whitman bridge down to Dave and Busters (just beyond the Ben Franklin bridge) and back a number of times. Roughly an 12 mile round trip in ripping tidal water. That alone will build up lactic acid if you don't manage your stride correctly.. It's grueling to fight tidal water. I came prepared, PFD on, food, water, cell phone in a water proof container in case of an emergency. Let friends and family know what I was doing each time.

So. How this idiot thought paddling 2000+ miles in the farking ocean was going to be a good idea is mind boggling.

https://explorersweb.com/2020/12/28/to​p-expeditions-1970-2020-5-ed-gillet-ka​yaks-to-hawaii/

Ed Gillet should have died in his attempt. I cannot imagine the nightmares that followed his trip.


It was such a bad idea that he didn't want to talk about it.
 
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