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(WJAC TV Johnstown)   Woman sues town and umbrella business, after being impaled by beach umbrella, citing back and pelvic pain, numbness in right arm and hand, and a range of mental health conditions, and the sudden urge to collapse frequently   (wjactv.com) divider line
    More: Weird, PA woman, Umbrella, umbrella files negligence lawsuit, beach  
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1497 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2021 at 6:35 PM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-07 6:28:05 PM  
Wind = Act of God. Case dismissed.
 
2021-06-07 6:38:15 PM  
Get back to me when a tornado smacks you with a cow.
 
2021-06-07 6:39:42 PM  
Life's a beach umbrella.
 
2021-06-07 6:41:13 PM  
Subpoena to be served:

Mr. W
Youtube 2mTLO2F_ERY
 
2021-06-07 6:42:34 PM  
Family Guy did it, I think
 
2021-06-07 6:44:43 PM  
Could be worse.  Could have got wedged in sideways.
 
2021-06-07 6:44:51 PM  
When life gives you beach umbrella impalements, lawsuit lemonade?
 
2021-06-07 6:44:58 PM  

edmo: Wind = Act of God. Case dismissed.


Plaintiff's lawyer: Improper securing of umbrellas, inadequate base materials and weight, lack of consideration of potential danger, poor planning for known high wind conditions.  Case not dismissed.

/true or not, a decent lawyer would shoot that shiat down in 20 seconds
 
2021-06-07 6:45:11 PM  
Years ago we were on the beach in Pensacola and a young guy came over and went to a lot of trouble to make sure our umbrella was sturdily buried. He'd seen a kid fatally impaled and it had obviously affected him. He went down the beach checking all of the umbrellas. When we saw him the next day we gave him a joint.
 
2021-06-07 6:47:20 PM  
Someone just needs to push her button. She'll pop right back into shape.
 
2021-06-07 6:48:08 PM  
i blame this guy...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 6:48:22 PM  

schubie: Years ago we were on the beach in Pensacola and a young guy came over and went to a lot of trouble to make sure our umbrella was sturdily buried. He'd seen a kid fatally impaled and it had obviously affected him. He went down the beach checking all of the umbrellas. When we saw him the next day we gave him a joint.


So he just walks up and down the beach everyday shoving umbrellas deeper into the sand while saying, "I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw...."?  What a downer.
 
2021-06-07 6:50:59 PM  
Christo unavailable for comment.
 
2021-06-07 6:52:34 PM  
 
2021-06-07 6:52:45 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 6:53:27 PM  
media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 6:53:31 PM  
It's a golden parachute, not a golden umbrella.
 
2021-06-07 6:54:08 PM  
Well she should have worn a different suit.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 7:03:59 PM  
It's is definitely a freak accident that would leave one with a deep set avulsion to Mary Poppins and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. Georgi Markov probably felt that way . . . briefly.
 
2021-06-07 7:04:05 PM  

HighwayBill: Christo unavailable for comment.


Came for this
 
2021-06-07 7:04:33 PM  

edmo: Wind = Act of God. Case dismissed.


Was it properly secured against the wind?
 
2021-06-07 7:12:03 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: schubie: Years ago we were on the beach in Pensacola and a young guy came over and went to a lot of trouble to make sure our umbrella was sturdily buried. He'd seen a kid fatally impaled and it had obviously affected him. He went down the beach checking all of the umbrellas. When we saw him the next day we gave him a joint.

So he just walks up and down the beach everyday shoving umbrellas deeper into the sand while saying, "I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw...."?  What a downer.


Well, he was pretty hot so it was okay. Plus now I always make sure to stay upwind of umbrellas.
 
2021-06-07 7:12:43 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: schubie: Years ago we were on the beach in Pensacola and a young guy came over and went to a lot of trouble to make sure our umbrella was sturdily buried. He'd seen a kid fatally impaled and it had obviously affected him. He went down the beach checking all of the umbrellas. When we saw him the next day we gave him a joint.

So he just walks up and down the beach everyday shoving umbrellas deeper into the sand while saying, "I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw...."?  What a downer.


It's Pensacola. It is probably a tactic to get you talking about his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
 
zez [recently expired TotalFark]
2021-06-07 7:13:02 PM  
If we had proper health coverage in this country people wouldn't need to sue to be able to pay for their care.
 
2021-06-07 7:35:10 PM  

zez: If we had proper health coverage in this country people wouldn't need to sue to be able to pay for their care.


Yes, because punitive damages and loss of wages due to missing work go away if you have good health care coverage.
 
2021-06-07 7:39:26 PM  

DRTFA: zez: If we had proper health coverage in this country people wouldn't need to sue to be able to pay for their care.

Yes, because punitive damages and loss of wages due to missing work go away if you have good health care coverage.


No, the missing wages goes away with robust social safety nets and sensible labor laws.

The punitive damages here probably go away because it appears to be force major, unless there's a series of flying umbrellas that have been recorded.
 
2021-06-07 8:47:01 PM  

leeksfromchichis: DRTFA: zez: If we had proper health coverage in this country people wouldn't need to sue to be able to pay for their care.

Yes, because punitive damages and loss of wages due to missing work go away if you have good health care coverage.

No, the missing wages goes away with robust social safety nets and sensible labor laws.

The punitive damages here probably go away because it appears to be force major, unless there's a series of flying umbrellas that have been recorded.


Flying umbrellas would be a major force.
 
2021-06-07 9:29:27 PM  
This is why you should always have an umbrella policy as part of your insurance package.
 
2021-06-07 10:15:04 PM  
Attack of the Umbrellas - Run Vine
Youtube eTMb2UkW4xY
 
2021-06-07 10:25:35 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: schubie: Years ago we were on the beach in Pensacola and a young guy came over and went to a lot of trouble to make sure our umbrella was sturdily buried. He'd seen a kid fatally impaled and it had obviously affected him. He went down the beach checking all of the umbrellas. When we saw him the next day we gave him a joint.

So he just walks up and down the beach everyday shoving umbrellas deeper into the sand while saying, "I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw a kid get impaled once.  Have a nice day.  I saw...."?  What a downer.


sometimes people are permanently affected. the guy who invented modern day whip cream cans saw a boy get killed when a lid blew off a pressurized cream can being transported.
 
2021-06-07 10:59:34 PM  
I am reminded of one of my all time favorite Fark headlines...

"More fun than you can stake a chick at..."
 
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