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(Tallahassee Democrat)   When hiding bodies in a lake, try to at least choose one that doesn't drain completely every few years   (tallahassee.com) divider line
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4151 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jun 2021 at 4:20 PM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-07 4:00:30 PM  
Oh, now you tell me.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2021-06-07 4:21:31 PM  
The best watery grave around Boston was an old quarry that was filled with dirt excavated during the Big Dig. Authorities dove to look for bodies before filling it in but the water was too murky to find them all.
 
2021-06-07 4:23:05 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 4:26:13 PM  
I felt this.

I also drain completely every few years and want to hide my body.
 
2021-06-07 4:26:52 PM  
That has led to large portions of the lake being far drier than usual. No lies detected
gannett-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 4:27:18 PM  
How did I know this would be about Lake Jackson?

I grew up on those shores.

/I did not hide any bodies in it.
 
2021-06-07 4:29:05 PM  

ZAZ: The best watery grave around Boston was an old quarry that was filled with dirt excavated during the Big Dig. Authorities dove to look for bodies before filling it in but the water was too murky to find them all.


Back in the 90s someone saw a woman jump from the bridge from KY into Cincinnati Ohio.  The mayor ordered a search, and they pulled up five bodies that did not match the description of the jumper.  At that point they stopped searching.
There must be a dozen mass grave sites out there from Whitey Bulger.  Lots of muddy corpses at the bottom of the Mystic and Charles rivers.
/Charles Stuart approves
 
2021-06-07 4:29:12 PM  
The documentary series "Nip/Tuck" lead me to believe that gators will immediately devour any evidence of bodies mere seconds after being dumped in a swamp.
 
2021-06-07 4:29:32 PM  
You mean at the Dirty Dancing Resort?
 
2021-06-07 4:30:48 PM  
May want to pick something a bit deeper than 6 feet also. Not that I would know anything about that.
 
2021-06-07 4:31:43 PM  
Kinda interested in what turns up in Lake Mead in a decade or so...
 
2021-06-07 4:33:00 PM  
Every few years? If I went undetected for 6 months after dumping a body in the water, rather than just dumping it at a hog farm like usual, I wouldn't be too worried about the cops finding anything useful.
 
2021-06-07 4:33:47 PM  
I heard from the Chippewa on down that Lake Superior doesn't give up it's dead.
 
2021-06-07 4:34:18 PM  

The5thElement: May want to pick something a bit deeper than 6 feet also. Not that I would know anything about that.


it's a big lake and those six feet would be marshy and covered up by water plants typically, so it's enough

until the lake drains
 
2021-06-07 4:34:32 PM  
I'm sorry Lake Jackson (ooh) I am for real
Never meant to dump those bodies
I apologize a trillion times
 
2021-06-07 4:34:47 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Wanted for questioning.
 
2021-06-07 4:35:20 PM  
Hiding bodies in a lake? Lol, amateurs.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 4:35:29 PM  

Northern: ZAZ: The best watery grave around Boston was an old quarry that was filled with dirt excavated during the Big Dig. Authorities dove to look for bodies before filling it in but the water was too murky to find them all.

Back in the 90s someone saw a woman jump from the bridge from KY into Cincinnati Ohio.  The mayor ordered a search, and they pulled up five bodies that did not match the description of the jumper.  At that point they stopped searching.
There must be a dozen mass grave sites out there from Whitey Bulger.  Lots of muddy corpses at the bottom of the Mystic and Charles rivers.
/Charles Stuart approves


Catfish probably got her.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 4:35:52 PM  

Northern: ZAZ: The best watery grave around Boston was an old quarry that was filled with dirt excavated during the Big Dig. Authorities dove to look for bodies before filling it in but the water was too murky to find them all.

Back in the 90s someone saw a woman jump from the bridge from KY into Cincinnati Ohio.  The mayor ordered a search, and they pulled up five bodies that did not match the description of the jumper.  At that point they stopped searching.
There must be a dozen mass grave sites out there from Whitey Bulger.  Lots of muddy corpses at the bottom of the Mystic and Charles rivers.
/Charles Stuart approves


Kinda makes what happened to ol Whitey in prison (old & decrepit, wheelchair bound, getting the living sh*t beaten out of him by cons with iron fists and shut mouths) seem not so bad.
 
2021-06-07 4:41:44 PM  
Dumbass.  You cover the body in salmon oil and feed it to the tigers.  The Florida way.
 
2021-06-07 4:42:08 PM  
medius:

/I did not hide any bodies in it.

That's exact what someone who did hide bodies in it would say.
 
2021-06-07 4:44:16 PM  

medius: How did I know this would be about Lake Jackson?

I grew up on those shores.

/I did not hide any bodies in it.


You hid these bodies in there didn't you?
 
2021-06-07 4:45:07 PM  

The5thElement: May want to pick something a bit deeper than 6 feet also. Not that I would know anything about that.


And not near the friggin' boat launch.
 
2021-06-07 4:48:01 PM  
I live on this "lake".  Bought it during good times.

And while I didn't see medius dump the bodies, I didn't not see him dump the bodies.
 
2021-06-07 4:52:45 PM  
According to the article, there is no evidence bodies were dumped. Just heads.
 
2021-06-07 4:52:46 PM  

RogueWallEnthusiast: The5thElement: May want to pick something a bit deeper than 6 feet also. Not that I would know anything about that.

And not near the friggin' boat launch.


You know, when your buddy chokes on his own vomit from drinking too much, and you almost forget to toss him overboard just before you reach to boat ramp... I mean, at night it's not that easy to see, and you can't just randomly dump old Clem just anywhere...

So I've heard.
 
2021-06-07 4:57:34 PM  

akya: Kinda interested in what turns up in Lake Mead in a decade or so...


The mob is too.
 
2021-06-07 4:59:41 PM  
Or at least put the body in when the lake won't thaw for months.

(for best results, use da woodchipper you betcha now)

/Minnesotan
 
2021-06-07 5:04:14 PM  

menschenfresser: Or at least put the body in when the lake won't thaw for months.

(for best results, use da woodchipper you betcha now)

/Minnesotan


I think you mean..."doncha know..."

/Former Minnesotan
 
2021-06-07 5:14:54 PM  
hey hey hey

I can't believe what I'm seeing in here.

Y'all don't want to end up in a lake, do you?

/not a threat
 
2021-06-07 5:46:41 PM  
Gotta love how an article about skeletal remains found talks for a couple of paragraphs about the bodies, then gushes and waxes poetic about the lake and its cycles and history for 10.

Sheesh, Florida.
 
2021-06-07 6:05:54 PM  

Magnanimous_J: The documentary series "Nip/Tuck" lead me to believe that gators will immediately devour any evidence of bodies mere seconds after being dumped in a swamp.



Gators don't like fresh meat They'll stash a corpse under a log and let it ripen for a few days before they eat it


Luckily Florida cops are so lazy you've got at least a week before they start looking.
 
2021-06-07 6:16:53 PM  

medius: hey hey hey

I can't believe what I'm seeing in here.

Y'all don't want to end up in a lake, do you?

/not a threat


Your defense is weak.  You need to fess up and you'll feel better.

We're a pretty good judge around here.  We've been judging folks for a long time.
 
2021-06-07 6:26:02 PM  
Its kinda cool when the lake drains. First time I saw it happen I was like, WTF? Then I learned that it drains every few years. Next time it happens I am going to go.

I live a mile from there.
 
2021-06-07 6:26:35 PM  
I bet that lake stinks to high hell right now.
 
2021-06-07 6:27:06 PM  

cherryl taggart: been judging folks for a long time.


listen, n00b, you're the one sinking to my level, not vice versa 

I've been swimming in these waters long enough to have dried off with a Guinness bar towel.
 
2021-06-07 6:56:55 PM  

medius: How did I know this would be about Lake Jackson?

I grew up on those shores.

/I did not hide any bodies in it.


I lived in that area for a while and somehow knew it would be about lake Jackson as well.

/used to run across the lake bed whenever the lake got real low
//never did find any bodies though...
 
2021-06-07 7:26:09 PM  

Urban Bigfoot: Its kinda cool when the lake drains. First time I saw it happen I was like, WTF? Then I learned that it drains every few years. Next time it happens I am going to go.

I live a mile from there.


Whadda mean, "next time?" Next time is now. There is a whole article at the top of the page about how now "next time" is.
 
2021-06-07 8:16:49 PM  

Lumber Jack Off: medius: How did I know this would be about Lake Jackson?

I grew up on those shores.

/I did not hide any bodies in it.

I lived in that area for a while and somehow knew it would be about lake Jackson as well.

/used to run across the lake bed whenever the lake got real low
//never did find any bodies though...


That's right, you didn't.
 
2021-06-07 8:30:50 PM  
You're in Florida. You have ocean on 3 sides.
 
2021-06-07 9:03:45 PM  

stuffy: You're in Florida. You have ocean on 3 sides.


Gulf to the left of me, Ocean to the right, here I am, stuck in the drained pond with you
 
2021-06-08 1:21:00 AM  
Leon County Sherriff's Office spokesman Shade McMillian said it was unclear if foul play was a factor due to "the age and deterioration" of the skeletal remains.

Well, now we know who killed them.
 
2021-06-08 7:35:30 AM  

NephilimNexus: Leon County Sherriff's Office spokesman Shade McMillian said it was unclear if foul play was a factor due to "the age and deterioration" of the skeletal remains.

Well, now we know who killed them.


Remember:

Snitches get put in bags and dumped over the side of the johnboat.
 
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