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(Eat This Not That)   "Meanwhile, just 1% of respondents said that they don't put any toppings on their burgers" - Otherwise known as a troglodyte   (eatthis.com) divider line
    More: Survey, Hamburger, new poll, data analytics, French fries, thirds of respondents, firm YouGov, regular cheese-less burgers, popular choice  
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437 clicks; posted to Food » on 07 Jun 2021 at 5:43 AM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-06-07 12:37:08 AM  
Meat and a coupla slices of lettuce to hold it with, end of

/maaaybe a dab of mustard
// "My God! That's Moose Turd Pie!"
/// ...It's good, though!
 
2021-06-07 12:39:50 AM  
Lettuce
Mayo
Mustard
Pickles
Cheese optional
Tomatoes optional

As long as the meat is good and seasoned and not overcooked.
 
2021-06-07 12:49:17 AM  
Some people have dietary requirements so strict that a once-a-month plain burger patty is a huge deal. Now that you have wrapped your head around that let me introduce you to their vegetarian bestie.
 
2021-06-07 1:06:02 AM  
Cheese
Bacon
Grilled onions
Pickles
Bacon
BBQ sauce
Bacon
 
2021-06-07 1:24:19 AM  
Sometimes you just want a burger.

But god if it's not seasoned right...
 
2021-06-07 2:07:12 AM  
If I'm microwaving a precooked burger patty at home, I just add 2 slices of bread and some BBQ sauce.  Then start microwaving the next one.
 
2021-06-07 2:23:12 AM  
Meanwhile, just 1% of respondents said that they don't put any toppings on their burgers

Those damned 1 percenters!  They ruin everything!
 
2021-06-07 2:50:56 AM  

unixpro: Meanwhile, just 1% of respondents said that they don't put any toppings on their burgers

Those damned 1 percenters!  They ruin everything!


Ohhh, I don't know they ruined everything!
Kinda liked those rare attributes...
Fark user imageView Full Size



/I could find them work.
 
2021-06-07 3:31:56 AM  

Redh8t: unixpro: Meanwhile, just 1% of respondents said that they don't put any toppings on their burgers

Those damned 1 percenters!  They ruin everything!

Ohhh, I don't know they ruined everything!
Kinda liked those rare attributes...
[Fark user image 300x168]


/I could find them work.


the one on the left looks like AOC with a different hair color.
 
2021-06-07 3:41:21 AM  
Two all-beef patties
Special sauce
Lettuce
Cheese
Pickles
Onions
On a sesame seed bun

/Good luck getting that earworm outta your head
 
2021-06-07 4:09:52 AM  

puffy999: Redh8t: unixpro: Meanwhile, just 1% of respondents said that they don't put any toppings on their burgers

Those damned 1 percenters!  They ruin everything!

Ohhh, I don't know they ruined everything!
Kinda liked those rare attributes...
[Fark user image 300x168]


/I could find them work.

the one on the left looks like AOC with a different hair color.


Perhaps,
Fark user imageView Full Size

/.......
//All evidence is admissible on Fark.
 
2021-06-07 4:11:33 AM  

Redh8t: puffy999: Redh8t: unixpro: Meanwhile, just 1% of respondents said that they don't put any toppings on their burgers

Those damned 1 percenters!  They ruin everything!

Ohhh, I don't know they ruined everything!
Kinda liked those rare attributes...
[Fark user image 300x168]


/I could find them work.

the one on the left looks like AOC with a different hair color.

Perhaps,
[Fark user image 425x239] [View Full Size image _x_]
/.......
//All evidence is admissible on Fark.


She's got that Flavacol jones.
 
2021-06-07 4:12:09 AM  
Seriously though if your burger sucks? A sprinkle of Flavacol.

/I'm always there
 
2021-06-07 5:22:08 AM  
I am the 1%.

I find ketchup and mustard to be particularly foul. On anything.
 
2021-06-07 5:55:05 AM  
American "cheese" sucks.
 
2021-06-07 6:06:32 AM  

puffy999: Redh8t: puffy999: Redh8t: unixpro: Meanwhile, just 1% of respondents said that they don't put any toppings on their burgers

Those damned 1 percenters!  They ruin everything!

Ohhh, I don't know they ruined everything!
Kinda liked those rare attributes...
[Fark user image 300x168]


/I could find them work.

the one on the left looks like AOC with a different hair color.

Perhaps,
[Fark user image 425x239] [View Full Size image _x_]
/.......
//All evidence is admissible on Fark.

She's got that Flavacol jones.


Yeah, she tickles my Elmo too.
Fark user imageView Full Size

You started it!
 
2021-06-07 6:19:51 AM  
My favorite combos:

1) Mayo and plenty of tomatoes,
2) American cheese (that's right - fight me)
3) Coleslaw
3) Avocado and bacon
All give a different taste experience, so I don't mix them.
 
2021-06-07 6:20:17 AM  
Burgers are the Swiss army knife of yums.  There is NO set "this is a burger" except it must have hamburger obviously.

For Me Cheese :(any kind) except blue cheese, pimento, or anything that smells like feet or crotch or both(fark those)

Bacon
Yellow mustard
Brown mustard
Spicy mustard
Ketchup
Mayo(not that sweet crap)
Dill pickle slices(chilled)
Brined Banana peppers or pepperoncini(chilled)(slices)
If a restaurant has sauerkraut I'm ecstatic!

Onions ONLY IF THEY ARE GRILLED(raw onions make me gag)
No tomatoes(ever I don't like them)
Lettuce(only if I make the burgers at home and can wash the raw veggies myself) But I prefer baby spinach.

A fried egg over hard is nice once in awhile.

All ingredients listed aren't for the same burger every time and for variety.

One pet peeve is restaurants that make 6-8 inch hamburgers that no human could conceivably bite ???  Stop being ridiculous?
 
2021-06-07 6:42:20 AM  

puffy999: Sometimes you just want a burger.

But god if it's not seasoned right...


Seasoning is critical but don't salt the meat.

Get your dry skillet plenty hot, then put a generous dusting of salt in the bottom. This serves to season the meat, gives a better sear, and keeps it from sticking until some of the internal fat renders into the pan.

For the patties, I handle them minimally (to give a lighter texture) and season with garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper, and cayenne pepper, just on one side.

Drop the burgers in to sear. While the first side is cooking, sprinkle more garlic-onion-black pepper-red-pepper on the raw face. Flip once, don't overcook.
 
2021-06-07 6:47:36 AM  
Fried egg.

If I'm cooking at home or for the family I'm going hang over style.

LTOP, mustard, bacon, avocado, peppers and some mayo is all acceptable.

Kids under the age of 16 are forgiven for ketchup.
 
2021-06-07 7:51:21 AM  
So, what Subby is saying, is that they don't like the the taste of ground beef, and have to disguise it with various other flavors and textures.

Hey, I understand, it's easy to screw up a plain burger, the meat goes bad quickly, it might have had stale meat going into the grinder, it might have been previously frozen, it's easy to overcook it, or cook it without the Maillard reaction, so it's just damned bland in and off itself.

I'm not sure the troglodyte comment was warranted however, if someone is eating burger plain, they've either gone to great effort to select and grind and cook a decent piece of cow, or they're dirt poor and are eating what they can get.

I kind of feel the same way about potatoes, they're a great vehicle for transporting butter and salt, but I wouldn't really want to eat a boiled one plain.
 
2021-06-07 8:01:28 AM  
Mustard and pickles are what I prefer on a burger. Not lettuce, not tomato, definitely not ketchup, absolutely not mayonnaise. I don't need a salad or half the condiment shelf from the fridge. If there's so much on the burger I need to eat it with a knife and fork to avoid it ending up on my shirt and/or lap, then there's too much shiat on it.

Spicy brown mustard and good dill pickle slices on a bacon cheeseburger is like manna from heaven, I tell you.
 
2021-06-07 8:17:00 AM  
My ideal burger is ketchup, pickles, onions, tomato and lettuce.

Every once in a while I like just A1 and grilled onions on a bun that's been given the garlic bread treatment.

But if I'm at a cookout where the host just bought the Heinz ketchup/mustard/relish three pack and called ot a day, I'll just go meat and bread.
 
2021-06-07 8:39:26 AM  
I don't put any condiments on my burgers, but I typically enjoy them with lettuce and tomato.

But I season my burgers when I make them, so the flavor is always in the meat.

*Waggles eyebrows*
 
2021-06-07 8:50:44 AM  
Mustard, thick tomato, lettuce, maybe some pickles.  That's it.
 
2021-06-07 8:57:11 AM  
We had a hamburger bar at one of our kids' teen birthday parties. One of the kids' school friends helped. We asked him to poll invitees on their favorite burger toppings. It's been five or six years since we had that party. So, I can't remember everything we put out, but it included 3 or 4 kinds of sliced cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, sliced onion, ketchup, mustard, Korean Ketchup, sliced jalapenos (jarred), salsa, Vietnamese pickled carrots & daikon, and that's all I can remember right now. Those kids ate like locusts. :)
 
2021-06-07 9:02:30 AM  
Fellow one percenter. Meat and bread, please.
 
2021-06-07 9:13:53 AM  
I am currently on a jerked lamb-burger kick. Mix in copious amounts of jerk paste (currently Walkers Wood hot and spicy) with ground lamb then patty them up and grill. I use a toasted onion bun and decorate with a light spread of mayo, fresh tomato, arugula, and crumbled feta (non-brined). It is freaking tasty.
 
2021-06-07 9:18:06 AM  
Depends.

Most of the time, I just do a slice of onion and a little mustard. If there is a good tomato, it's welcome.

There is one burger joint I do straight. I'm not sure where they source their cow, but all it needs is the little bit of salt they throw on before it hits the flat top.
 
2021-06-07 9:43:22 AM  
Here is the poll results

https://today.yougov.com/topics/food/​s​urvey-results/daily/2021/05/27/e6f62/2​

It looks like older folks (55+) like almost all toppings the most (or at least among those willing to answer a poll about hamburgers)

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
WGJ [TotalFark]
2021-06-07 9:45:04 AM  
Mandatory
-Bun
-Cheese

Optional
-Bacon
-A1 sauce

Nothing else
 
2021-06-07 9:49:38 AM  
Whole Nine Yards... Mayonnaise
Youtube q51JzPVfSuE
 
2021-06-07 10:22:05 AM  
My SO is adamant on "mustard and ketchup only."

She has the taste of a 5 year old.
 
2021-06-07 10:38:47 AM  
Mayo on the bottom bun, to stop the juices from soaking the bread.  Type of cheese rotates, but mainly American.  1 slice of tomato.


/Bacon once in a while as a treat.  But not necessary.
 
Ant
2021-06-07 10:39:20 AM  
When I'm the one cooking, and I can take a burger from grill to bun to mouth in a few seconds, I'll eat one without condiments. This is usually the best burger ever. Otherwise, I'll have lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, mustard, and mayo
 
Ant
2021-06-07 10:44:15 AM  

MrBallou: Seasoning is critical but don't salt the meat.


Salt the surface of the burger, but don't mix salt into the meat, unless you want dense, bouncy burger patties.
 
2021-06-07 10:58:14 AM  
Depends on the burger, really. I usually like lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, and a bit of sauce, but I've happily eaten a "plain" burger because it was perfectly cooked, fresh off the grill, and dripping with grease - practically self-sauced.

Ant: When I'm the one cooking, and I can take a burger from grill to bun to mouth in a few seconds, I'll eat one without condiments. This is usually the best burger ever. Otherwise, I'll have lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, mustard, and mayo


This, basically.
 
2021-06-07 12:21:33 PM  
Yes, why would anyone want to actually taste the meat when they could savor the flavor of runny tomato jelly and rancid cucumber salt water instead.
 
2021-06-07 1:37:33 PM  
Chili, dammit. With cheddar, onions, and mustard.
 
2021-06-07 1:43:13 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Chili, dammit. With cheddar, onions, and mustard.


That is for the Texas style chili dog.
 
2021-06-07 1:55:24 PM  

Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs: Yes, why would anyone want to actually taste the meat when they could savor the flavor of runny tomato jelly and rancid cucumber salt water instead.


I read an article once that said people who drink coffee black are posers who don't even like coffee.  Apparently because the milk and sugar bring out coffees natural creamy sweetness.  I mean, they were probably trolling...
 
2021-06-07 2:03:25 PM  

McGrits: common sense is an oxymoron: Chili, dammit. With cheddar, onions, and mustard.

That is for the Texas style chili dog.


Works with burgers as well, except I forgot to add a tomato slice.
 
2021-06-07 2:18:46 PM  

Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs: Yes, why would anyone want to actually taste the meat when they could savor the flavor of runny tomato jelly and rancid cucumber salt water instead.


Fark yeah! People who hate the natural taste of fresh meat even put hypertension rocks on it and ground up "nigrum" seeds. Then they burn it with fire instead of eating it raw straight from the squirming animal the way god intended.
 
2021-06-07 2:27:19 PM  
I'm not a fan of a pile of sauces on burgers. Don't want ketchup, mustard, mayo, etc.

American Cheese-product
2 slices bacon ultra crispified
Fresh jalapeno (fark that picked garbage), leave the seeds for extra heat
one large enough piece of iceberg lettuce
2 thin quarter pound burgers
sprinkle some tony chechere seasoning on the burgs

That shiat is heaven.
 
2021-06-07 2:59:46 PM  

FarkingSmurf: A fried egg over hard is nice once in awhile.


[carygrantgetout.jpg]

Axeofjudgement: Fried egg.

If I'm cooking at home or for the family I'm going hang over style.

LTOP, mustard, bacon, avocado, peppers and some mayo is all acceptable.

Kids under the age of 16 are forgiven for ketchup.


all of ^^^this. esp. the egg.

I get grilled-cheezus at 5guys, and normally ask for "all the way" ...minus ketchup. and always add: raw onyon, jalapenho, green pepper, bbq sawse, sometimes hot sauce.

Fark user imageView Full Size



phe-farking-nom-nom-nomenal.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-07 3:55:28 PM  

tintar: FarkingSmurf: A fried egg over hard is nice once in awhile.

[carygrantgetout.jpg]

Axeofjudgement: Fried egg.

If I'm cooking at home or for the family I'm going hang over style.

LTOP, mustard, bacon, avocado, peppers and some mayo is all acceptable.

Kids under the age of 16 are forgiven for ketchup.

all of ^^^this. esp. the egg.

I get grilled-cheezus at 5guys, and normally ask for "all the way" ...minus ketchup. and always add: raw onyon, jalapenho, green pepper, bbq sawse, sometimes hot sauce.

[Fark user image image 800x382]


phe-farking-nom-nom-nomenal.

[Fark user image image 850x1140]


I like your style. Oooh and banana peppers or Hungarian wax! Not the spiciest, but the flavor 😍
 
2021-06-07 5:25:38 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size

EAT IT
 
2021-06-07 5:59:01 PM  
I can't stand ketchup on a hamburger. I really hate A-1 sauce or barbecue sauce on there, more than anything. And if I order a mushroom and swiss and the mushrooms come with gravy and the "swiss" is a slice of pasteurized process cheese that doesn't even taste like Swiss cheese, I can't stand that. And avocado is too slimy for my tastes. And bleu cheese throws the flavor balance off, for my tastes. It's been too overpowering when I've tried it.

Literally every other burger accompaniment is good, though I much prefer real cheese to american/velveeta.
 
2021-06-07 11:26:45 PM  
Medium rare burger with American cheese, ketchup and pickles or a slice of Vidalia onion.

Too much crap makes the burger into a slip n slide.

I didn't know people put mustard on their burgers until I traveled outside of NY. It's a weird concept to me and I can't say it's a preferred taste. I also don't believe in ketchup on hot dogs past the age of 5.
 
2021-06-08 4:14:55 AM  
Potato chips instead of lettuce.
 
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