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(Mashable)   Weirdos with too much time on their hands think another online store is a secret front for child trafficking   (mashable.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Conspiracy theory, Conspiracy theories, viral TikTok video, Amazon.com, Conspiracy?, Conspiracy theorists, The X-Files, Ali Momin  
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6039 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 03 Jun 2021 at 8:31 PM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



66 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-06-03 6:05:08 PM  
Those prices are pretty good, compared to adoption. A lot less paperwork, too.

/I'm trying for "disgustingly facetious"
//but I'd settle for "facetiously disgusting".
///sarcastically annoying <////>
 
2021-06-03 6:44:50 PM  
For example, the near $16,000 price for a light-up fedora party hat was actually for an order of nearly 3,000 hats. That's approximately $5.50 per hat. Nothing unusual about that.

I mean there's plenty unusual about that, like who the fark needs 3,000 light-up fedora party hats with one-day shipping, but it is pride month, and there are conventions for internet tough guys, so still plausible.
 
2021-06-03 8:34:37 PM  
We should start spreading the conspiracy theories that theres children in Trump's basement, at least theres a chance that its true. I mean, the guy imported ''models'' from eastern europe for his rich friends to rape, has always been a sexual predator and is friend with at least 4 convicted pedophiles.
 
2021-06-03 8:35:11 PM  
If we get enough cries of wolf, eventually the real one can hide in broad daylight.
 
2021-06-03 8:36:08 PM  
I heard some weirdo named "lolmao500" hangs around in Trump's basement.
 
2021-06-03 8:39:09 PM  
TikTok is a cancer.

Fark cancer.
 
2021-06-03 8:40:30 PM  
According to the Dark Net websites I visit through my seven proxies, you can't get a kid for under $25,000. Oh, wait ++++carrier lost+++++
 
2021-06-03 8:41:25 PM  
I knew we were dumb. I just had no idea how dumb.
 
2021-06-03 8:41:53 PM  
These people make me wish we did eat children.

"Save the children" - how about fark off and die you derping piece of filth, how about that instead, motherfarker.
 
2021-06-03 8:45:27 PM  
Car dealerships are selling cars that are $30,000, $40,000.

And I bet they put the kids in the trunks!
 
2021-06-03 8:46:24 PM  
Seems like a decent lawyer could take a few dollars out of TicTok and Amazon.
 
2021-06-03 8:47:31 PM  
Sooner or later a slightly deranged conservative type is going to show up at one of these places and ventilate it real good.
 
2021-06-03 8:47:56 PM  

baronbloodbath: Car dealerships are selling cars that are $30,000, $40,000.

And I bet they put the kids in the trunks!


I always buy used. A spare kid could account for the steep depreciation from new though.
 
2021-06-03 8:50:09 PM  

Por que tan serioso: baronbloodbath: Car dealerships are selling cars that are $30,000, $40,000.

And I bet they put the kids in the trunks!

I always buy used. A spare kid could account for the steep depreciation from new though.


They even have a slogan: Kars for Kids! WAKE UP SHEOPLE!
 
2021-06-03 8:54:44 PM  

baronbloodbath: Car dealerships are selling cars that are $30,000, $40,000.

And I bet they put the kids in the trunks!


No we put dead hookers in the trunk, we aren't animals!
Dirty Work (5/12) Movie CLIP - A Whole Lotta Dead Hookers (1998) HD
Youtube BlWpx55Mo5s
 
2021-06-03 8:55:56 PM  
Maybe when someone is making bombs and buying lots of guns the best way to get Law Enforcement to pay attention is get on TikTok. Maybe something real like the Nashville bomber would have been stopped.
 
2021-06-03 8:56:04 PM  
Jesus Tittyfarking Christ.
 
2021-06-03 8:57:47 PM  

Catsaregreen: According to the Dark Net websites I visit through my seven proxies, you can't get a kid for under $25,000. Oh, wait ++++carrier lost+++++


Cheaper, if you don't mind it missing some ancillary organs.
 
2021-06-03 9:00:08 PM  
My plan to corner the light-up LED novelty market is coming to fruition.

Mwah-ha-ha!
 
2021-06-03 9:00:46 PM  

groppet: baronbloodbath: Car dealerships are selling cars that are $30,000, $40,000.

And I bet they put the kids in the trunks!

No we put dead hookers in the trunk, we aren't animals!
[YouTube video: Dirty Work (5/12) Movie CLIP - A Whole Lotta Dead Hookers (1998) HD]


The dude with the "Lord knows I have" remark gets me every time.
 
2021-06-03 9:03:38 PM  
100% of conspiracy theories originate from TV brains half reading some "research" they've dug up while constantly looking away from their printouts to find out why Tucker is making his dumbfounded  face.
 
2021-06-03 9:16:11 PM  

Another Government Employee: Sooner or later a slightly deranged conservative type is going to show up at one of these places and ventilate it real good.


You mean like comet pizzeria? Because that already happened.

Or the freaking Halls of Congress? I really can't think of a worse way that could have targeted than the Congress itself, but still it happened, and still nothing is done.

We have already reached peak conspiracy theory.
 
2021-06-03 9:16:19 PM  
We're laughing and joking - but don't forget that this guy was RUINED by these loons.
 
2021-06-03 9:19:07 PM  
And nothing is being done about the TikTok'er who started all this.
 
2021-06-03 9:20:41 PM  

koder: For example, the near $16,000 price for a light-up fedora party hat was actually for an order of nearly 3,000 hats. That's approximately $5.50 per hat. Nothing unusual about that.

I mean there's plenty unusual about that, like who the fark needs 3,000 light-up fedora party hats with one-day shipping, but it is pride month, and there are conventions for internet tough guys, so still plausible.


I think everyone here at Fark should have a light up Fedora.

Drew could just throw one in anytime someone springs for a whole year of TF.
 
2021-06-03 9:22:16 PM  
People, in general, are farking stupid.
 
2021-06-03 9:30:20 PM  

Thosw: And nothing is being done about the TikTok'er who started all this.


^^^This^^^
Somehow we need to get these people to be held responsible for their utter nonsense
 
2021-06-03 9:30:59 PM  
As per the article, all of these items have been pulled from Amazon by now.  Based on the screenshots in the article, though, this guy is partly to blame:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Is that a listing for 2,880 hats?  That's incredibly not clear from the product listing.  I'd hope the detailed description would be clearer, but I somehow doubt it.  Take out some keywords from the listing and make it clear it's a BULK ORDER FOR 2,880 HATS.

Amazon probably took them down not cause of the bullshiat conspiracy theory, but for violating their rules on having clear product descriptions.
 
2021-06-03 9:32:16 PM  

Thosw: And nothing is being done about the TikTok'er who started all this.


Amazon closed the hat selling guy's account what more needs to be done?
 
2021-06-03 9:40:23 PM  
Suspect isn't hatless?
 
2021-06-03 9:41:14 PM  
This is exactly how gnomes are trafficked in WOW. You ever seen those level 3 white items for 150k gold?

Now you know why.

fark gnomes anyway.
 
2021-06-03 9:42:02 PM  
Those weirdos should first allow their own homes to be searched before making claims about other places
 
2021-06-03 9:48:04 PM  
Republicans somehow just keep getting crazier.
 
2021-06-03 9:53:31 PM  
I want to leave a review along the lines of how I was satisfied like 3000 times by my purchases, and that nothing feels as tight and good as farking a fresh, young, sequined hat.

"I guarantee it's better sex than farking someone who believes Q."
 
2021-06-03 9:54:24 PM  

koder: For example, the near $16,000 price for a light-up fedora party hat was actually for an order of nearly 3,000 hats. That's approximately $5.50 per hat. Nothing unusual about that.

I mean there's plenty unusual about that, like who the fark needs 3,000 light-up fedora party hats with one-day shipping, but it is pride month, and there are conventions for internet tough guys, so still plausible.


I have 5 of these hats. I went to a party at a conference a few years ago and they were all over the place. The guy must have ordered in bulk. Hopefully they didn't also send him a child.
 
2021-06-03 9:54:57 PM  
When Bad Listing Titles Attack, Vol 1.
 
2021-06-03 10:01:28 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-03 10:08:47 PM  

tyyreaunn: As per the article, all of these items have been pulled from Amazon by now.  Based on the screenshots in the article, though, this guy is partly to blame:
[Fark user image 410x296]

Is that a listing for 2,880 hats?  That's incredibly not clear from the product listing.  I'd hope the detailed description would be clearer, but I somehow doubt it.  Take out some keywords from the listing and make it clear it's a BULK ORDER FOR 2,880 HATS.

Amazon probably took them down not cause of the bullshiat conspiracy theory, but for violating their rules on having clear product descriptions.


Wait, there's a rule about clear product descriptions? You wouldn't know it by browsing... pretty much any category besides movies and music.
 
2021-06-03 10:19:20 PM  
Those are trilbies.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-06-03 10:21:23 PM  
Kids don't call cool fashion fly or dope or gucci anymore.  The new expression is "child trafficking" as in you "Dude, your hat is so child trafficking."
 
2021-06-03 10:25:36 PM  
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

process.fs.grailed.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-03 10:32:42 PM  
When you hear the words "viral TikTok video," you probably think

media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-06-03 10:33:22 PM  

baronbloodbath: groppet: baronbloodbath: Car dealerships are selling cars that are $30,000, $40,000.

And I bet they put the kids in the trunks!

No we put dead hookers in the trunk, we aren't animals!
[YouTube video: Dirty Work (5/12) Movie CLIP - A Whole Lotta Dead Hookers (1998) HD]

The dude with the "Lord knows I have" remark gets me every time.


TIME TO PAY THE FIDDLER, WHORE!
 
2021-06-03 10:34:24 PM  
These theories are so ridiculous. For one thing, I would bet a child costs way more than that. When you consider the risks of kidnapping and trafficking even a single child, a $16,000 payday just doesn't sound like nearly enough. For another, you think the people who want to buy a child are so unpicky that they'll just buy a mystery child through Amazon? Are they supposed to put "South Asian female age 8-10" in the order notes, or do the sellers call you up later and ask "What kinda kid you want?" If you're already in the loop to know that buying this high-priced item from an online store is the way to order children, then you must be in the loop enough to cut out the online store and go directly to the seller.
 
2021-06-03 10:36:34 PM  
footwearnews.comView Full Size

Too late
 
2021-06-03 10:41:27 PM  
At some point it's going to be absolutely necessary to utilize 2A against these morons. It's beyond debatable that they're all unhinged and dangerous to society.
 
2021-06-03 10:41:54 PM  

NephilimNexus: When you hear the words "viral TikTok video," you probably think

[media.tenor.com image 640x278]


Stop passing pics of me around the internet.  And yes, I do think that when I hear those words.
 
2021-06-03 10:43:19 PM  
Why are unverified non-purchaser reviews even allowed in the first place? Stupid as shiat.
 
2021-06-03 10:47:37 PM  

lolmao500: We should start spreading the conspiracy theories that theres children in Trump's basement, at least theres a chance that its true. I mean, the guy imported ''models'' from eastern europe for his rich friends to rape, has always been a sexual predator and is friend with at least 4 convicted pedophiles.


Why start a conspiracy like that when it's common knowledge that Trump branded properties worldwide are used trafficking children to be raped by wealthy men, and that the rapes themselves frequently take place on-premises.

The conspiracy wingnuts don't care about that because they want to join the wealthy men raping children - they only get upset about it when they think it's Democrats getting to do the raping.
 
2021-06-03 10:51:48 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

How many hats do I need to buy?
 
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