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(CNN)   Judge tells defendant that 'stand your ground' doesn't apply to iguanas   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Death, PJ Nilaja Patterson, Bodily harm, Palm Beach County, Florida, Violence, Patterson's attorneys, 3-foot iguana, Stand Your Ground  
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2016 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jun 2021 at 2:35 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-06-02 2:20:50 PM  
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2021-06-02 2:36:53 PM  
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zez [recently expired TotalFark]
2021-06-02 2:37:19 PM  
What about BBQing them?
 
2021-06-02 2:38:22 PM  

gopher321: [Fark user image 394x244] [View Full Size image _x_]


"Hey, you crazy cat, that's not fud!"
 
2021-06-02 2:40:35 PM  
Putting your hands on another living thing, particularly non verbal wildlife, is the first point of violent contact, not the animal defending against being grabbed with a bite.

Keep your hands to yourself.
 
2021-06-02 2:41:19 PM  
Huh.
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2021-06-02 2:41:23 PM  
What about chihuahuas?

/Asking for Billy the Kid.
 
2021-06-02 2:42:11 PM  
Should have yelled, "IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!".
 
2021-06-02 2:42:17 PM  
Maybe the only thing that can stop a bad Florida man with a gun is a good iguana with a gun?  It's time we start arming the iguanas.  Or something. I don't know.
 
2021-06-02 2:45:34 PM  
"I was trying to help it across the street and it bit me" sounds really unlik
 
2021-06-02 2:45:50 PM  
Subby and nine others didn't read the article.
 
2021-06-02 2:46:24 PM  
y, especially when the dang lizard runs across the "Add Comment" button.
 
2021-06-02 2:47:11 PM  

zez: What about BBQing them?


Only if there's the Tiajuana tag.
 
2021-06-02 2:47:48 PM  
I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to an animal, it certainly is not. But iguanas are an invasive species in FL... so I'm a little confused as to why the court even gives a crap when their roads in the southern part of the state are like 30% iguana carcass.
 
2021-06-02 2:48:43 PM  
Anyone who pointed out it was only a matter of time until some asshole tried this defense against an animal was called a gun grabbing lib. Stay tuned for when some molester shoots a kid and cites them as a threat.
 
2021-06-02 2:49:55 PM  

tuxq: I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to an animal, it certainly is not. But iguanas are an invasive species in FL... so I'm a little confused as to why the court even gives a crap when their roads in the southern part of the state are like 30% iguana carcass.


You're still not allowed to torture them for 32 minutes and claim self defense, like this guy did.
 
2021-06-02 3:01:27 PM  

tuxq: I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to an animal, it certainly is not. But iguanas are an invasive species in FL... so I'm a little confused as to why the court even gives a crap when their roads in the southern part of the state are like 30% iguana carcass.


The court "gives a crap" because when Animal Control enforced the law and charged this person with breaking that law, he tried to get a court to dismiss the charges.

For some strange reason only understood by Internet Legal Scholars, courts "give a crap" about each and every case on their docket.  Weird.
 
2021-06-02 3:02:45 PM  

UltimaCS: tuxq: I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to an animal, it certainly is not. But iguanas are an invasive species in FL... so I'm a little confused as to why the court even gives a crap when their roads in the southern part of the state are like 30% iguana carcass.

You're still not allowed to torture them for 32 minutes and claim self defense, like this guy did.


Not even in Floriduh?
 
2021-06-02 3:04:37 PM  

Rapmaster2000: tuxq: I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to an animal, it certainly is not. But iguanas are an invasive species in FL... so I'm a little confused as to why the court even gives a crap when their roads in the southern part of the state are like 30% iguana carcass.

The court "gives a crap" because when Animal Control enforced the law and charged this person with breaking that law, he tried to get a court to dismiss the charges.

For some strange reason only understood by Internet Legal Scholars, courts "give a crap" about each and every case on their docket.  Weird.


It was a jab at Florida, not your feelings.
 
2021-06-02 3:07:41 PM  

tuxq: Rapmaster2000: tuxq: I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to an animal, it certainly is not. But iguanas are an invasive species in FL... so I'm a little confused as to why the court even gives a crap when their roads in the southern part of the state are like 30% iguana carcass.

The court "gives a crap" because when Animal Control enforced the law and charged this person with breaking that law, he tried to get a court to dismiss the charges.

For some strange reason only understood by Internet Legal Scholars, courts "give a crap" about each and every case on their docket.  Weird.

It was a jab at Florida, not your feelings.


Why would my mockery of you have anything to do with my feelings?
 
2021-06-02 3:08:00 PM  
The reptile was going to inject venom into him though!

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2021-06-02 3:11:08 PM  
The judge is correct.  Stand Your Ground laws only apply to shooting Black people.
 
2021-06-02 3:16:41 PM  
Iguanas are exotic invasives in Florida and should be killed on sight, along with pythons, boa constrictors, lionfish, and wild hogs.

/sic semper tyrannosaurus
 
2021-06-02 3:22:50 PM  
This.  Florida iguanas are just giant scaly rats that carry disease and shiat everywhere.  It's too bad that the rare hard freeze doesn't kill more of them.
 
2021-06-02 3:25:14 PM  
Did the perp have this color of skin tone?

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2021-06-02 3:26:31 PM  
Aren't iguanas an invasive species?
 
2021-06-02 3:52:17 PM  

tuxq: I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to an animal, it certainly is not. But iguanas are an invasive species in FL... so I'm a little confused as to why the court even gives a crap when their roads in the southern part of the state are like 30% iguana carcass.


This. I was pretty sure it's open season on them. They even taste good.
 
2021-06-02 4:09:33 PM  
Does "Stand Your Ground" still apply to lizard people? Would Ted Cruz be considered fair game or animal abuse?
 
2021-06-02 4:13:27 PM  

Teddy Brosevelt: Maybe the only thing that can stop a bad Florida man with a gun is a good iguana with a gun?  It's time we start arming the iguanas.  Or something. I don't know.


In this time of morning, it's too early to talk about this iguana control.

Iguanas don't kill people, people kill people
 
2021-06-02 4:20:31 PM  
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2021-06-02 4:49:52 PM  

Harry Wagstaff: Subby and nine others didn't read the article.


I read the article. What are you referring to?
 
2021-06-02 4:50:39 PM  
Killing iguanas, a destructive invasive species, should be encouraged or even incentivized.

Killing iguanas by torturing them to death, not so much.
 
2021-06-02 4:51:56 PM  

yakmans_dad: Harry Wagstaff: Subby and nine others didn't read the article.

I read the article. What are you referring to?


I'm guessing all the people who think he shot it instead of kicking and bashing it for an extended period.
 
2021-06-02 4:58:08 PM  

Jeff5: yakmans_dad: Harry Wagstaff: Subby and nine others didn't read the article.

I read the article. What are you referring to?

I'm guessing all the people who think he shot it instead of kicking and bashing it for an extended period.


That and the headline has been changed to omit the word shooting.
 
2021-06-02 7:22:02 PM  

Purple_Urkle: Putting your hands on another living thing, particularly non verbal wildlife, is the first point of violent contact, not the animal defending against being grabbed with a bite.

Keep your hands to yourself.


I've always said, first rule of living in a civilized society is "keep your hands to yourself."

But of course, America isn't civilized.
 
2021-06-02 8:51:18 PM  
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Nice add placement.
 
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