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    More: Florida, Crime, Miami-Dade County, Florida, Miami-Dade Police Department, Police, Assault, Miami Police Department, store clerk, NORTHWEST MIAMI-DADE  
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3762 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2021 at 11:50 AM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-05-30 10:05:47 AM  
While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.
 
2021-05-30 11:54:28 AM  
Miami seems like a great place to stay away from.
 
2021-05-30 11:54:45 AM  
EVERYBODY POOP NOW!
 
2021-05-30 11:54:56 AM  
If you've reached to point of pulling a shootin' iron on some guy, why bother asking for permission?
Just let nature take it's course and relieve yourself wherever you happen to be.
It will bother people a lot less than you waving your pistola all around the place.
 
2021-05-30 11:56:07 AM  
If Hamilton from Fast Times was clerking this shift, this story would have had a much different ending.
 
2021-05-30 11:56:54 AM  

theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.


I have gone in some sketchy bathrooms when desperation strikes. I am jealous of men because you can pee easily anywhere. As a woman I have to find a nasty toilet or find a good plant to hide behind.

Also, what is it with many bathrooms not keeping soap stocked? So many places seem to skimp on the soap. Probably means the bathroom has been cleaned once every few months.

The worst gas station restroom I went into was one that wouldn't lock and had a good foot long hole in the bottom of the door. If I wasn't going to explode I wouldn't have used it. Made me very nervous as a woman. There also wasn't any soap there. Hand sanitizer has been a staple in my purse since before Covid.
 
2021-05-30 11:57:04 AM  

jso2897: If you've reached to point of pulling a shootin' iron on some guy, why bother asking for permission?
Just let nature take it's course and relieve yourself wherever you happen to be.
It will bother people a lot less than you waving your pistola all around the place.


What's the point of having a gun if you can't wave it around in everybody's face!!!
It's like you don't understand guns at all
 
2021-05-30 11:57:16 AM  

vudukungfu: EVERYBODY POOP NOW!


Now I'm hearing that song in my head with fart noises in place of the bass... thanks, I think?
 
2021-05-30 12:03:31 PM  

theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.


Hmm... the name and the activity means I'll expect to see you in a headline soon enough...
 
2021-05-30 12:10:55 PM  
I desecrated a cemetery once because of lactose intolerance  (this was the time I figured it out) and an inability to find a bathroom fast enough.
.
So, Mt. Calvary Catholic Cemetery please accept my heartfelt apologies for that little gift I left in the middle of the burial staff workroom in 1996. I really had to go.
 
2021-05-30 12:12:15 PM  
"The store employee told detectives that the man became belligerent when he was told he could not use the restrooms because they were locked. When the store employee asked him to leave, he pointed a gun and told the employee he was going to shoot, but then fled the scene.'


See, the 2nd Amendment is the solution to all sorts of problems.
 
2021-05-30 12:12:17 PM  

jso2897: If you've reached to point of pulling a shootin' iron on some guy, why bother asking for permission?
Just let nature take it's course and relieve yourself wherever you happen to be.
It will bother people a lot less than you waving your pistola all around the place.


Someone might see his tiny dick.
 
2021-05-30 12:13:25 PM  
CSB: traveling some back country road and had to pee like crazy. I see a gas station and stop. Sigh on the door says "Restrooms for PAYING customers only." Fine. Whateves.
I pee, and I'm on my way out the door when the man at the counter tells "Hey! Ain't you gonna buy something?" I say "No." He yells back "It costs money to flush that toilet, you know!" I turn around and smile and say "oh that's ok, I didn't flush!"

He didn't seemed the least bit  pleased with the fact that I saved him money.
 
2021-05-30 12:15:15 PM  

vudukungfu: EVERYBODY POOP NOW!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-30 12:17:03 PM  
Are gas station bathrooms allowed to be open in corona world?  Is the state this happened in a maga state or a good state still on full lockdown?  If you want to poop in a public toilet, go to a maga state.
 
2021-05-30 12:17:54 PM  

4seasons85!: theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.

I have gone in some sketchy bathrooms when desperation strikes. I am jealous of men because you can pee easily anywhere. As a woman I have to find a nasty toilet or find a good plant to hide behind.

Also, what is it with many bathrooms not keeping soap stocked? So many places seem to skimp on the soap. Probably means the bathroom has been cleaned once every few months.

The worst gas station restroom I went into was one that wouldn't lock and had a good foot long hole in the bottom of the door. If I wasn't going to explode I wouldn't have used it. Made me very nervous as a woman. There also wasn't any soap there. Hand sanitizer has been a staple in my purse since before Covid.


At least the really scary gas station bathrooms likely aren't a Covid risk.  All the other stuff in there will kick it's ass and eat it long before it can infect you.
 
2021-05-30 12:18:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-30 12:23:15 PM  

vudukungfu: EVERYBODY POOP NOW!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-30 12:26:14 PM  
Miami police need public's help to ID man, say they have 'exhausted all leads'

As with the perp, the police have nothing to go on.
 
2021-05-30 12:36:48 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-30 12:39:15 PM  
Hey, clerk should have let him in, once he's in there move something to bar the door and call the cops.
Easy peasy
 
2021-05-30 12:39:37 PM  
Every gun owner is a responsible gun owner until they're not.
 
2021-05-30 1:20:28 PM  

4seasons85!: theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.

I have gone in some sketchy bathrooms when desperation strikes. I am jealous of men because you can pee easily anywhere. As a woman I have to find a nasty toilet or find a good plant to hide behind.

Also, what is it with many bathrooms not keeping soap stocked? So many places seem to skimp on the soap. Probably means the bathroom has been cleaned once every few months.

The worst gas station restroom I went into was one that wouldn't lock and had a good foot long hole in the bottom of the door. If I wasn't going to explode I wouldn't have used it. Made me very nervous as a woman. There also wasn't any soap there. Hand sanitizer has been a staple in my purse since before Covid.


It's awful- I keep those disposable stand to pee things in my car in case of emergencies. And wipes.
 
2021-05-30 1:24:34 PM  

AmbassadorBooze: Are gas station bathrooms allowed to be open in corona world?  Is the state this happened in a maga state or a good state still on full lockdown?  If you want to poop in a public toilet, go to a maga state.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-30 1:38:10 PM  

brilett: 4seasons85!: theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.

I have gone in some sketchy bathrooms when desperation strikes. I am jealous of men because you can pee easily anywhere. As a woman I have to find a nasty toilet or find a good plant to hide behind.

Also, what is it with many bathrooms not keeping soap stocked? So many places seem to skimp on the soap. Probably means the bathroom has been cleaned once every few months.

The worst gas station restroom I went into was one that wouldn't lock and had a good foot long hole in the bottom of the door. If I wasn't going to explode I wouldn't have used it. Made me very nervous as a woman. There also wasn't any soap there. Hand sanitizer has been a staple in my purse since before Covid.

It's awful- I keep those disposable stand to pee things in my car in case of emergencies. And wipes.


A she-wee? I should probably invest in that. How do you keep I clean though between uses? I know thats gross to ask but just curious.
 
2021-05-30 1:38:51 PM  

brilett: 4seasons85!: theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.

I have gone in some sketchy bathrooms when desperation strikes. I am jealous of men because you can pee easily anywhere. As a woman I have to find a nasty toilet or find a good plant to hide behind.

Also, what is it with many bathrooms not keeping soap stocked? So many places seem to skimp on the soap. Probably means the bathroom has been cleaned once every few months.

The worst gas station restroom I went into was one that wouldn't lock and had a good foot long hole in the bottom of the door. If I wasn't going to explode I wouldn't have used it. Made me very nervous as a woman. There also wasn't any soap there. Hand sanitizer has been a staple in my purse since before Covid.

It's awful- I keep those disposable stand to pee things in my car in case of emergencies. And wipes.


Never mind I just read it was disposable.  I've seen the reusable ones.
 
2021-05-30 2:26:20 PM  
yhup...
 
2021-05-30 2:36:48 PM  
Falling Down (6/10) Movie CLIP - The Customer is Always Right (1993) HD
Youtube hlzm7-gvTRg
 
2021-05-30 2:39:05 PM  

vudukungfu: EVERYBODY POOP NOW!


Y-AY!
 
2021-05-30 3:11:17 PM  
Anyone else remember these shirts/ad?
Fark user imageView Full Size


/who knew he'd go on to a decent film career?
 
2021-05-30 3:17:00 PM  

theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.


You sound like you're not female.

Go cry when you've wiped your vagina with a hot rock in the middle of the desert because you can't piss in a bottle.

Also, Europe largely doesn't have  public restrooms. Pay to poo/pee. And you don't see everyone relieving themselves behind buildings.

What I'm saying is you either have digestive issues or can't plan better than a kindergartner regarding your toilet time.
 
2021-05-30 3:17:49 PM  
...you get eaten by a t-rex?

/got nothin
 
2021-05-30 3:25:00 PM  

MythDragon: CSB: traveling some back country road and had to pee like crazy. I see a gas station and stop. Sigh on the door says "Restrooms for PAYING customers only." Fine. Whateves.
I pee, and I'm on my way out the door when the man at the counter tells "Hey! Ain't you gonna buy something?" I say "No." He yells back "It costs money to flush that toilet, you know!" I turn around and smile and say "oh that's ok, I didn't flush!"

He didn't seemed the least bit  pleased with the fact that I saved him money.


No offense...but you are a stupid asshole! Anchorman 2
Youtube ldH7LHXIOfg
 
2021-05-30 3:29:19 PM  

4seasons85!: brilett: 4seasons85!: theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.

I have gone in some sketchy bathrooms when desperation strikes. I am jealous of men because you can pee easily anywhere. As a woman I have to find a nasty toilet or find a good plant to hide behind.

Also, what is it with many bathrooms not keeping soap stocked? So many places seem to skimp on the soap. Probably means the bathroom has been cleaned once every few months.

The worst gas station restroom I went into was one that wouldn't lock and had a good foot long hole in the bottom of the door. If I wasn't going to explode I wouldn't have used it. Made me very nervous as a woman. There also wasn't any soap there. Hand sanitizer has been a staple in my purse since before Covid.

It's awful- I keep those disposable stand to pee things in my car in case of emergencies. And wipes.

A she-wee? I should probably invest in that. How do you keep I clean though between uses? I know thats gross to ask but just curious.


You can learn to pee standing up, through pants with a zipper. It takes practice, but is possible. There are online tutorials. I'm not sure fark would like me linking them, so you'll have to google it on your own.
 
2021-05-30 3:42:44 PM  
Such funny timing... My BIL is up for the week, and it's a 12 hour drive from Phx, so the discussion was about places to stop and one choice of gas station over another, which branched into a discussion about convenience stores in general. We got around to 7-11,and he said "They're always old and dirty, and the restrooms are always locked.".

Then, 15 minutes later, I open Fark, and here we are: A 7-11 with locked restrooms.
 
2021-05-30 3:58:23 PM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: vudukungfu: EVERYBODY POOP NOW!

Now I'm hearing that song in my head with fart noises in place of the bass... thanks, I think?


Everything exists on the internet.

Everybody fart now
Youtube 9aLt6Ga0iyM
 
2021-05-30 4:09:09 PM  
Miami. Miami. I think I heard about a mass shooting in Miami several threads down. We're really approaching Peak Freedoms these days. Remember, folks: all problems can be solved by waving a gun. What's better is that Jesus wants all of us to pack heat, as he said after his miracle of the loaves and the magazines. Or was that the loaves and the clips?
 
2021-05-30 4:13:10 PM  
Dropping a log is serious business
 
2021-05-30 4:19:01 PM  

brilett: AmbassadorBooze: Are gas station bathrooms allowed to be open in corona world?  Is the state this happened in a maga state or a good state still on full lockdown?  If you want to poop in a public toilet, go to a maga state.

[Fark user image 250x145] [View Full Size image _x_]


What the fark is wrong with you closet hiders.  Get you GD vaccine and get back to life.  It is EXACTLY that simple.  We have almost no one wearing masks anymore.  If you are vaccinated there is no worry...if you are not...you are a farking idiot.  There is nothing in between.  So you are an idiot liberal who evidently doesnt trust the science, isnt vaccinated, or is just a complete idiot.  I guess it could be any combo...but there is no reason to be hiding at home behind a mask...unless you are an anti-vaxxer.
 
2021-05-30 4:59:06 PM  

Charles of York: Dropping a log is serious business


Especially when the cashier gives you attitude.

Snoop Dogg - Drop It Like It's Hot (Official Music Video) ft. Pharrell Williams
Youtube GtUVQei3nX4
 
2021-05-30 5:33:37 PM  

4seasons85!: brilett: 4seasons85!: theteacher: While I have never pulled a gun on anyone, I HAVE peed behind buildings when not allowed to use a bathroom. I have seen enough videos of people shiatting in the aisles to know that this store is playing a dangerous game by keeping doors locked. Gas stations should be mandated to have open bathrooms for people, customers or not.

I've had to shiat on the side of the road because nothing was open...on a Sunday morning in the midwest. Not my proudest moment.

Yesterday while hiking I had to pee so many times that I didn't even have time to step off trail. I'm not going to let that stop me from losing weight...but it is embarrassing.

I have gone in some sketchy bathrooms when desperation strikes. I am jealous of men because you can pee easily anywhere. As a woman I have to find a nasty toilet or find a good plant to hide behind.

Also, what is it with many bathrooms not keeping soap stocked? So many places seem to skimp on the soap. Probably means the bathroom has been cleaned once every few months.

The worst gas station restroom I went into was one that wouldn't lock and had a good foot long hole in the bottom of the door. If I wasn't going to explode I wouldn't have used it. Made me very nervous as a woman. There also wasn't any soap there. Hand sanitizer has been a staple in my purse since before Covid.

It's awful- I keep those disposable stand to pee things in my car in case of emergencies. And wipes.

A she-wee? I should probably invest in that. How do you keep I clean though between uses? I know thats gross to ask but just curious.


"those disposable"
 
2021-05-30 5:37:38 PM  

zippyZRX: brilett: AmbassadorBooze: Are gas station bathrooms allowed to be open in corona world?  Is the state this happened in a maga state or a good state still on full lockdown?  If you want to poop in a public toilet, go to a maga state.

[Fark user image 250x145] [View Full Size image _x_]

What the fark is wrong with you closet hiders.  Get you GD vaccine and get back to life.  It is EXACTLY that simple.  We have almost no one wearing masks anymore.  If you are vaccinated there is no worry...if you are not...you are a farking idiot.  There is nothing in between.  So you are an idiot liberal who evidently doesnt trust the science, isnt vaccinated, or is just a complete idiot.  I guess it could be any combo...but there is no reason to be hiding at home behind a mask...unless you are an anti-vaxxer.


Not sure where you got that from my critique of the other poster.

Me - very much pro vaccination- very much fully vaccinated.
 
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