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(Daily Mail)   "Iris made hosts Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield blush after admitting that their first night of passion, which included an 'entire tube of KY jelly', left Iris 'saddle sore'. " Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Weird  
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4353 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 May 2021 at 9:40 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-05-27 8:45:48 AM  
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Followed by
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2021-05-27 8:59:11 AM  
Cougar? Naw man, she's a sabretooth tiger.
 
2021-05-27 9:28:07 AM  
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2021-05-27 9:43:30 AM  
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2021-05-27 9:49:45 AM  

steklo: [Fark user image 850x614]


Thank goodness they used a coaster under the Pepsi can!!!
 
2021-05-27 9:50:54 AM  
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2021-05-27 9:51:42 AM  
You needed a whole tube of lube and you were still sore?
Doesn't sound very "passionate" to me.
Sounds like the Mojave Desert.
 
2021-05-27 9:51:44 AM  
Dat thigh gap tho
 
2021-05-27 9:54:27 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-27 9:55:02 AM  
Homie is working for that visa.
 
2021-05-27 9:55:05 AM  

ar393: Thank goodness they used a coaster under the Pepsi can!!!


That's no coaster, it looks like a stolen prescription pad from the dentist for more oxy....
 
2021-05-27 9:59:35 AM  
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                                      ​                                  
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2021-05-27 9:59:50 AM  
Human sexuality is a strange thing.
A 50 year old man putting the blocks to a 22 year old woman seems perfectly normal but a crusty old lady being plowed by a much younger man is downright disgusting.

Also, most women would say I am average looking. But, if you also told them I have a billion dollars then my numbers would instantly shoot way up. Not so for women. Nothing about my level of attraction would change if you showed me Oprah and then told me she was a billionaire. Or Amber Heard even. If anything it would probably make her less attractive.
 
2021-05-27 10:00:33 AM  
Back in HS, a friend's mother was explaining to me her husband's balls would burn when she put cologne on them.
I was uncomfortable, my friend was mortified.

/not a MILF, not on my worst farkin' day.
 
2021-05-27 10:01:40 AM  

steklo: [Fark user image 850x614]


Is that a whinee the poo plate on their bed?  For some reason the hot air balloons look familiar to me.

/No, those are not my parents.
 
2021-05-27 10:03:04 AM  
hdfloyd73.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-27 10:03:22 AM  
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2021-05-27 10:03:28 AM  

steklo: ar393: Thank goodness they used a coaster under the Pepsi can!!!

That's no coaster, it looks like a stolen prescription pad from the dentist for more oxy....


"Anything is a coaster, if you're brave enough to use it under your can" - Abraham Lincoln
 
2021-05-27 10:08:12 AM  

SloppyFrenchKisser: [hdfloyd73.files.wordpress.com image 420x294]


It doesn't have to be romantic, it just has to feel good.
 
2021-05-27 10:09:47 AM  

SloppyFrenchKisser: [hdfloyd73.files.wordpress.com image 420x294]


Weird, every guy probably thinks the same thing.
 
2021-05-27 10:11:09 AM  

ar393: steklo: ar393: Thank goodness they used a coaster under the Pepsi can!!!

That's no coaster, it looks like a stolen prescription pad from the dentist for more oxy....

"Anything is a coaster, if you're brave enough to use it under your can" - Abraham Lincoln


Lincoln was truly a man ahead of his time
 
2021-05-27 10:11:33 AM  
"Why am I telling you?  I'm telling everybody!"
 
2021-05-27 10:13:52 AM  

jso2897: You needed a whole tube of lube and you were still sore?
Doesn't sound very "passionate" to me.
Sounds like the Mojave Desert.


Yeah.. like on the beach, but hotter and dryer..
 
2021-05-27 10:13:56 AM  

Salmon: Is that a whinee the poo plate on their bed?


I'm more interested in the note he's holding in his hand. Is that one of those love coupons couples give to one another for being a good S/O?

"one clean the house coupon"
"one wash the car coupon"
"one anal experience coupon"
"one back rub coupon"

etc..
 
2021-05-27 10:14:04 AM  
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You need this, lady. A bathtub full, soak in it for 12 hours, quick shine with a shammy and you will be good to go.
 
2021-05-27 10:14:50 AM  
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2021-05-27 10:23:40 AM  
So, is she going to be the new benchmark for British Hot?
 
2021-05-27 10:23:40 AM  

dothemath: Human sexuality is a strange thing.
A 50 year old man putting the blocks to a 22 year old woman seems perfectly normal but a crusty old lady being plowed by a much younger man is downright disgusting.

Also, most women would say I am average looking. But, if you also told them I have a billion dollars then my numbers would instantly shoot way up. Not so for women. Nothing about my level of attraction would change if you showed me Oprah and then told me she was a billionaire. Or Amber Heard even. If anything it would probably make her less attractive.


1. You're the one here saying this is disgusting, but it'd be ok if the ages were reversed.

2. "Putting the blocks to"? I can kinda sus the meaning from context, but, putting the blocks to? Are they playing Lego together?
 
2021-05-27 10:24:22 AM  

mcmnky: dothemath: Human sexuality is a strange thing.
A 50 year old man putting the blocks to a 22 year old woman seems perfectly normal but a crusty old lady being plowed by a much younger man is downright disgusting.

Also, most women would say I am average looking. But, if you also told them I have a billion dollars then my numbers would instantly shoot way up. Not so for women. Nothing about my level of attraction would change if you showed me Oprah and then told me she was a billionaire. Or Amber Heard even. If anything it would probably make her less attractive.

1. You're the one here saying this is disgusting, but it'd be ok if the ages were reversed.

2. "Putting the blocks to"? I can kinda sus the meaning from context, but, putting the blocks to? Are they playing Lego together?


Blocks as in chock blocks.  Keeps her from sliding off the bed after all that lube.
 
2021-05-27 10:25:00 AM  
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2021-05-27 10:26:06 AM  

mcmnky: dothemath: Human sexuality is a strange thing.
A 50 year old man putting the blocks to a 22 year old woman seems perfectly normal but a crusty old lady being plowed by a much younger man is downright disgusting.

Also, most women would say I am average looking. But, if you also told them I have a billion dollars then my numbers would instantly shoot way up. Not so for women. Nothing about my level of attraction would change if you showed me Oprah and then told me she was a billionaire. Or Amber Heard even. If anything it would probably make her less attractive.

1. You're the one here saying this is disgusting, but it'd be ok if the ages were reversed.


Youre a shrewd one. You put this together just from me typing it all out word for word.

2. "Putting the blocks to"? I can kinda sus the meaning from context, but, putting the blocks to? Are they playing Lego together?

Ok fine, he was re-grouting her shower.
 
2021-05-27 10:28:57 AM  

dothemath: mcmnky: dothemath: Human sexuality is a strange thing.
A 50 year old man putting the blocks to a 22 year old woman seems perfectly normal but a crusty old lady being plowed by a much younger man is downright disgusting.

Also, most women would say I am average looking. But, if you also told them I have a billion dollars then my numbers would instantly shoot way up. Not so for women. Nothing about my level of attraction would change if you showed me Oprah and then told me she was a billionaire. Or Amber Heard even. If anything it would probably make her less attractive.

1. You're the one here saying this is disgusting, but it'd be ok if the ages were reversed.

Youre a shrewd one. You put this together just from me typing it all out word for word.

2. "Putting the blocks to"? I can kinda sus the meaning from context, but, putting the blocks to? Are they playing Lego together?

Ok fine, he was re-grouting her shower.


Or pointing her foundation, or sealing her driveway, or perhaps even relining her chimney?
 
2021-05-27 10:29:13 AM  
God 80 is going to be fun
 
2021-05-27 10:31:31 AM  

Warthog: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 225x225]


i.imgur.comView Full Size


Excuse me, Sir, this is also a Holly Willoughby thread.
 
2021-05-27 10:32:29 AM  

ingo: dothemath: mcmnky: dothemath: Human sexuality is a strange thing.
A 50 year old man putting the blocks to a 22 year old woman seems perfectly normal but a crusty old lady being plowed by a much younger man is downright disgusting.

Also, most women would say I am average looking. But, if you also told them I have a billion dollars then my numbers would instantly shoot way up. Not so for women. Nothing about my level of attraction would change if you showed me Oprah and then told me she was a billionaire. Or Amber Heard even. If anything it would probably make her less attractive.

1. You're the one here saying this is disgusting, but it'd be ok if the ages were reversed.

Youre a shrewd one. You put this together just from me typing it all out word for word.

2. "Putting the blocks to"? I can kinda sus the meaning from context, but, putting the blocks to? Are they playing Lego together?

Ok fine, he was re-grouting her shower.

Or pointing her foundation, or sealing her driveway, or perhaps even relining her chimney?


Getting his hand caught in her garbage disposal.
 
2021-05-27 10:33:45 AM  
Don't let anyone ever tell ya you're too old and too British for a little bedroom rodeo.

/show 'em your O face grams
 
2021-05-27 10:35:46 AM  
Even Ben Franklin said older women are better.
 
2021-05-27 10:41:44 AM  
At first I thought the passage read Irish saddle, which was a euphemism I'd never encountered before, so naturally I googled it and was rewarded with this picture:
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2021-05-27 10:54:52 AM  
To be fair she is holding it together pretty damned well to be 81.
 
2021-05-27 10:55:05 AM  

Slypork: Even Ben Franklin said older women are better.


JIMMY SOUL-"IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY"(LYRICS)
Youtube 6EqFVWzOfN8

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
 
2021-05-27 10:58:04 AM  
Were they all capable of informed, ethical consent? Did they consent? Yes?

Next.
 
2021-05-27 11:19:31 AM  

InfoFreako: Homie is working for that visa.


To quote Bugs Bunny, "eh, it's a living."
 
2021-05-27 11:39:20 AM  
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2021-05-27 12:14:36 PM  

Odd Bird: Back in HS, a friend's mother was explaining to me her husband's balls would burn when she put cologne on them.
I was uncomfortable, my friend was mortified.


Why were you uncomfortable -- was the friend's mom putting cologne on your balls at the time?
 
2021-05-27 12:19:44 PM  
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Is now on the registry...
 
2021-05-27 1:09:40 PM  
Whelp! Guess I'm skipping breakfast today.
 
2021-05-27 1:45:04 PM  

Odd Bird: Back in HS, a friend's mother was explaining to me her husband's balls would burn when she put cologne on them.
I was uncomfortable, my friend was mortified.

/not a MILF, not on my worst farkin' day.


I, too, intend to use the threat of embarrassment to keep my kiddos in line. Your friend probably mouthed off to his mom the day before, and this was his punishment.

Personally, I'm thinking SO and I will volunteer to chaperone dances, and get rather jiggy with it on the dance floor.
 
2021-05-27 1:57:53 PM  

Odd Bird: Back in HS, a friend's mother was explaining to me her husband's balls would burn when she put cologne on them.
I was uncomfortable, my friend was mortified.

/not a MILF, not on my worst farkin' day.


My bro in law's name is Milf
 
2021-05-27 2:22:34 PM  
Holly Willoughby cohosted Celebrity Juice for 12 years.  I doubt much could make her blush.
 
2021-05-27 2:43:00 PM  
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