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(Slate)   Today's Slatesplanation: Whatever happened to all those shirtless Abercrombie & Fitch greeters?   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Greeting, Doing It, shirtless hunks, Shirtless Guys, good impression, top-tier hunks, financial advisers, A&F  
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2702 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 May 2021 at 11:04 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-05-26 10:04:23 AM  
Parking cars and pumping gas?
 
2021-05-26 10:17:10 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 10:23:41 AM  
"Harry Tucker" sounds like a drag queen's stage name
 
2021-05-26 10:37:36 AM  
They ate Chinese food and became violently ill...that summer.
 
2021-05-26 10:38:02 AM  

scottydoesntknow: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Zac and Sethie Make a Prono?
 
2021-05-26 11:09:28 AM  

NikolaiFarkoff: They ate Chinese food and became violently ill...that summer.


Nicely done
 
2021-05-26 11:10:35 AM  
This concept should be embraced by Victoria's Secret.
 
2021-05-26 11:10:35 AM  

NikolaiFarkoff: They ate Chinese food and became violently ill...that summer.


It took eagles95for me to get it, but yes, this is a solid comment.
 
2021-05-26 11:11:03 AM  
They got kicked out of Cougartown when their looks faded and now sell used cars in Bakersfield?
 
2021-05-26 11:12:00 AM  
I got arrested boycotting A&F. I still stand by my convictions, though. There should be topless women greeters thrown into the mix.
 
2021-05-26 11:13:07 AM  
I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.
 
2021-05-26 11:15:20 AM  
Didn't care then, even less now.
 
2021-05-26 11:17:01 AM  

dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.


It might increase mall attendance
 
2021-05-26 11:18:46 AM  

pastramithemosterotic: dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.

It might increase mall attendance


And at least double the incidence of mall based statutory rape.
 
2021-05-26 11:20:40 AM  

Pinche Mateo: Parking cars and pumping gas?


*thump thump thump*
 
2021-05-26 11:21:55 AM  
Having a shirtless guy direct you to a clothing store is kind of like having a toothless person directing people to the dentist.

Take your own advice, man.
 
2021-05-26 11:22:32 AM  
I knew one years ago who eventually got a marketing degree and was doing quite well the last I heard.
 
2021-05-26 11:23:51 AM  

dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.


They did have topless women models in a few of their "Back to School" catalogs.
 
2021-05-26 11:24:23 AM  
I'm pretty sure I never went in an Abmercrombie store in the early 2000s, specifically because the 12-foot shirtless dude thirst trap pictures plastered on the walls, loud music, intimate lighting, and overwhelming smell of body spray gave me the distinct impression that this was not a place for straight men.

Apparently they've toned it way back since then, but now I'm old and need to go for a different aesthetic if I'm catering to my vanity.
 
2021-05-26 11:24:41 AM  

TheGreatGazoo: dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.

They did have topless women models in a few of their "Back to School" catalogs.


Man, that sounds illegal and hot.
 
2021-05-26 11:27:46 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: I'm pretty sure I never went in an Abmercrombie store in the early 2000s, specifically because the 12-foot shirtless dude thirst trap pictures plastered on the walls, loud music, intimate lighting, and overwhelming smell of body spray gave me the distinct impression that this was not a place for straight men.

Apparently they've toned it way back since then, but now I'm old and need to go for a different aesthetic if I'm catering to my vanity.


I mean I was their prime target (high school aged female in the early 2000s) and I don't think I've ever even walked inside an A&F.
 
2021-05-26 11:37:05 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: I'm pretty sure I never went in an Abmercrombie store in the early 2000s, specifically because the 12-foot shirtless dude thirst trap pictures plastered on the walls, loud music, intimate lighting, and overwhelming smell of body spray gave me the distinct impression that this was not a place for straight men.

Apparently they've toned it way back since then, but now I'm old and need to go for a different aesthetic if I'm catering to my vanity.


"Mine" had guys that were much much more "twink" than "beefcake" and the vibe was  indeed very gay (NTTAWWT), but the shirts were high quality. I still have some that look new after 15 years.
 
2021-05-26 11:37:54 AM  
some of the women being a little too hands on: "Sometimes they would put their hands in places that they shouldn't put their hands

Sexual exploitation, sexual harassment and sexual assault are fine when women dot it to men!
 
2021-05-26 11:38:09 AM  

dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 11:41:18 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 11:45:08 AM  

dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.


Roy Moore's Fark account detected.
 
2021-05-26 11:46:46 AM  

Pinche Mateo: Parking cars and pumping gas?


New Jersey resident detected. The rest of us can operate the gas pumps ourselves.
 
2021-05-26 11:48:36 AM  

akya: Having a shirtless guy direct you to a clothing store is kind of like having a toothless person directing people to the dentist.

Take your own advice, man.


If you walk into a barbershop with two barbers, do you pick the one with a good haircut or a lousy one?
 
2021-05-26 11:55:18 AM  

gar1013: akya: Having a shirtless guy direct you to a clothing store is kind of like having a toothless person directing people to the dentist.

Take your own advice, man.

If you walk into a barbershop with two barbers, do you pick the one with a good haircut or a lousy one?


Do barbers cut their own hair, or am I to assume they cut each others hair?

Which would make sense, as they spend a lot of time together, anyway.

in which case, it seems the one with the lousy cut would be the smart choice.

Maybe consider going to a different barbershop altogether since at least one of the barbers is suspect.
 
2021-05-26 11:57:29 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: I'm pretty sure I never went in an Abmercrombie store in the early 2000s, specifically because the 12-foot shirtless dude thirst trap pictures plastered on the walls, loud music, intimate lighting, and overwhelming smell of body spray gave me the distinct impression that this was not a place for straight men.

Apparently they've toned it way back since then, but now I'm old and need to go for a different aesthetic if I'm catering to my vanity.


It's always been the dead spot in every mall. Nobody wants to get nearer than twenty feet to it.
 
2021-05-26 12:00:56 PM  
We're doing quite well, thank you.

/s

If you looked good enough to get the job I think you'd be okay.
 
2021-05-26 12:07:42 PM  

Fursecution: Martian_Astronomer: I'm pretty sure I never went in an Abmercrombie store in the early 2000s, specifically because the 12-foot shirtless dude thirst trap pictures plastered on the walls, loud music, intimate lighting, and overwhelming smell of body spray gave me the distinct impression that this was not a place for straight men.

Apparently they've toned it way back since then, but now I'm old and need to go for a different aesthetic if I'm catering to my vanity.

It's always been the dead spot in every mall. Nobody wants to get nearer than twenty feet to it.


When I was in Portland years ago, at the Mall, I went into one just to see what the big deal was.   While I am just an old hippie (with a Hermes scarf that I found in a used clothes store...score!  11.00 bucks), I did (and still do) know good quality clothing  and do like clothes that last forever.   Anyway, I was utterly unimpressed by the clothes and the whole vibe.   I was lucky, the kids were never into it.  Especially my son.  His "thing" was Dickies pants.  The daughter was mostly hippie chic/skater for lack of a better term.  She is amused that her youngest daughter is into the baggy skater look of her own teenage years, with "mom jeans" added on.

But we don't have a mall anywhere near us.  Which is nice.

I still wear 501s, have for decades.   Back when a pair cost 5.98.
 
2021-05-26 12:10:08 PM  

eagles95: NikolaiFarkoff: They ate Chinese food and became violently ill...that summer.

Nicely done


Not so fun facts:  2/3 of LFO have died of cancer, and the surviving original third became a pro-life activist.
 
2021-05-26 12:14:26 PM  
Pretty sure they'll be just fine. Model level good looks for a guy is a serious leg up in life.

That sage bit of commentary is provided to you by Captain Obvious.
 
2021-05-26 12:32:18 PM  
Beer is what happened.

I look at pictures of my 25-year old self and wonder what I'd look like today...without beer.
 
2021-05-26 1:02:22 PM  

dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.


Too old
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 1:11:34 PM  
Now they need to get rid of the noxious perfume they spritz into the air for hundreds of feet surrounding the store.  I have to avoid that section of the mall, because I can't breathe and my lungs close up due to the cheap cologne.

We call it Abercrombie and Stench.
 
2021-05-26 1:12:26 PM  

austerity101: eagles95: NikolaiFarkoff: They ate Chinese food and became violently ill...that summer.

Nicely done

Not so fun facts:  2/3 of LFO have died of cancer, and the surviving original third became a pro-life activist.


I knew 1 died of cancer. Jesus christ what a mess
 
2021-05-26 1:13:32 PM  
Hey, 2020 defnitely hasn't been kind to us...

//Them. 2020 definitely hasn't been kind to them....
 
2021-05-26 1:27:59 PM  

dothemath: I cant help but reflect on the unfairness of not allowing hot 17 year old girls to stand topless in the mall.


Matt Gaetz, Mall Cop
 
2021-05-26 1:45:29 PM  
Not actually having been to a mall since the late 90s, I was completely unaware of this phenomenon. It explains a great deal about the rise of Channing Tatum though.
 
2021-05-26 2:02:23 PM  
I was more into Hot Topic.
 
2021-05-26 2:07:59 PM  

Jadedgrl: I was more into Hot Topic.


I was more into Hot Pockets.
 
2021-05-26 2:25:56 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: I'm pretty sure I never went in an Abercrombie store in the early 2000s, specifically because the 12-foot shirtless dude thirst trap pictures plastered on the walls, loud music, intimate lighting, and overwhelming smell of body spray gave me the distinct impression that this was not a place for straight men.


Many moons ago, the ex and I, whenever we went to the mall, would stop at A&F so we could rock our semis for the rest of the day.
 
2021-05-26 2:27:41 PM  

Animatronik: Beer is what happened.

I look at pictures of my 25-year old self and wonder what I'd look like today...without beer.


Same, but I was 46 when I was rockin' a killer bod.  Then winter happened.  Then COVID happened.  Now I'm still in shape, but it's more of the "round" variety of shape.
 
2021-05-26 2:30:12 PM  
They realized that no straight guys were ever going to buy anything there?
 
2021-05-26 3:18:02 PM  
I remember the ONE time I went to A&F with my baby sister. She was their demographic, I belonged at Hot Topic, haha. Anyway, I looked around and thought if we replaced all the clothes with books, the cologne with "old books and leather", and put glasses on the shirtless himbos it would have been delightful. I loved the dark furniture and low lighting. Just not the merch.
 
2021-05-26 3:22:41 PM  
A few weeks ago there was another Fark thread about Abercrombie. I posted this:


We hosted a 17 year old Italian exchange student back in 2011. At Christmas we were walking through the mall and passed by Abercrombie. There were a couple young guys out front just standing there as eye candy. No shirts, jeans slung so low on their hips that it was a miracle that they weren't exposing themselves to the shoppers. The girl behind the counter saw our Marco and practically leaped over the counter to rush up to him and offer him a job. She told him he wouldn't have to do anything, just stand there and talk to all the girls that passed by. He told her he couldn't take the job because as an exchange student he wasn't allowed to. She was very sad about it but she gave him her number anyway.

Here's what he looks like now:
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user image

Gee, I wonder why they wanted to hire him.
 
2021-05-26 4:59:04 PM  
Stewie might have a couple...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-26 5:08:09 PM  

akya: Having a shirtless guy direct you to a clothing store is kind of like having a toothless person directing people to the dentist.

Take your own advice, man.


Like, You want me to buy clothes?  I'm not the one without a shirt.

My only guess is maybe it's a "no shoes, no Shirt, No service" thing and he's looking for someone to buy a shirt for him?  LIke a teenager standing outside the liquor store?  I guess that could drum up business.
 
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