Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SFGate)   When you think of an otter, what comes to mind? A cute, cuddly creature prone to adorable hijinks? Well, brace yourself. In truth they're "necrophiliac, serial-killing fur monsters of the sea who use their intellects for great evil"   (sfgate.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Sea otter, Mustelidae, Otter, Pinniped, behavior of otters, Japanese river otter, American river otters, Monterey Bay Aquarium  
•       •       •

1187 clicks; posted to D'awww » on 16 May 2021 at 12:50 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-05-15 10:16:20 PM  
I learned to sail in Monterey bay. I learned to freedive up in Mendocino. I've lived half my life on boats.

I've seen a lot of sharks in the water. They're usually a welcome site. Usually.

Otters otoh will happily eat your family while forcing you to watch. They always worried me in the water. More than rapist dolphins and too-friendly sea-lions.
 
2021-05-15 10:27:20 PM  
Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.
 
2021-05-15 10:29:13 PM  
Aren't they basically river weasels?  They're cute, but this isn't surprising.
 
2021-05-15 10:34:24 PM  
Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if an otter ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you cared about!
 
2021-05-15 10:43:36 PM  

hubiestubert: Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.


No.

Most things that live in the ocean are autotrophs.
 
2021-05-15 11:01:38 PM  

yohohogreengiant: hubiestubert: Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.

No.

Most things that live in the ocean are autotrophs.


To be fair, if you removed every topographical feature, and every living creature save worms instantly, the world would still give back the same ping for an instant as the worms that live in and on pretty much EVERYTHING would still be there for a fraction of a second until gravity took over. There are a lot of the wee f*ckers. Same with autotrophs.

This does not denigrate from the nature of life in the sea beyond a certain degree of complexity. Even baleen feeders are MASSIVE killlers on a scale that is unimaginable by most. Even the giants that hit 6cm. Whales, pretty much anything visible to the naked eye are pretty much all absolutely terrifying to something. Plants, algae and bacteria make up a redonculously large number of the biomass of the planet, but are you seriously pulling a 'technically' on this point? If it's got a notochord, something generally is terrified of it.
 
2021-05-16 12:09:31 AM  
That is creepy, but only Ted Bundy creepy, not John Wayne Gacy creepy.
 
2021-05-16 12:10:47 AM  
The first time otters creeped me out it was those red eyed Amazon giant river otters feasting on bitey fish.

They looked like they were normal otters after 10 days of coke and steroids.
 
2021-05-16 12:21:41 AM  
Sea otters are cute and cuddly.

River otters are damp ill-tempered murder machines.
 
2021-05-16 1:42:59 AM  
Now I feel a little less sorry for the only river otter I've seen, who was trying to deal with a fish that had gotten stuck in its throat.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-16 2:19:11 AM  
Just like Benedict Cumberbatch after all.
 
2021-05-16 4:25:34 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-05-16 4:50:14 AM  
"I will crush your skull like a clam on my tummy!"
 
2021-05-16 5:02:01 AM  
So in other words . . . They're mammals?
 
2021-05-16 5:06:38 AM  
That's Mudge
 
2021-05-16 5:24:53 AM  
Man they sure hired a good PR firm though.
 
2021-05-16 6:03:06 AM  
Cute & cuddly =/= safe & innocent

Fark user imageView Full Size


/in both life & anime
 
2021-05-16 6:07:08 AM  
CSB: I managed to destroy an important friendship by insisting on this fact long past the point where I should have just dropped the topic and moved on. The ability to "read the room" is not one of my strengths, even when "the room" consists of precisely one other person.
 
2021-05-16 6:25:35 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-16 6:31:02 AM  
What!? Are you telling me that Disney has lied to me all of these years and that nature is as cruel as it is beautiful?

Well thank you very much for ruining my well adjusted life!
 
2021-05-16 6:43:11 AM  

End_Of_Line: What!? Are you telling me that Disney has lied to me all of these years and that nature is as cruel as it is beautiful?

Well thank you very much for ruining my well adjusted life!


Disney taught me this by forcing a shiat load of lemmings off of a cliff.
 
2021-05-16 7:39:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-16 9:39:09 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

/savage night howler
 
2021-05-16 10:18:34 AM  
Why not both?
 
2021-05-16 11:23:09 AM  
Seems a little harsh for the D'awww tab.
 
2021-05-16 11:35:26 AM  

hubiestubert: Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.


Compare to the death toll of cats.  Can anything match the cute house kitten in pure serial murder body count?
 
2021-05-16 11:46:58 AM  

yet_another_wumpus: hubiestubert: Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.

Compare to the death toll of cats.  Can anything match the cute house kitten in pure serial murder body count?


Fark user imageView Full Size


Seriously.  Hilarious and cute and cuddly and they hit the water at upwards of 60 mph to grab fish from behind

Blue-Footed Boobies Diving || ViralHog
Youtube f27RS2jyveA


If a predator isn't a terrifying murder machine it will starve to death.
 
2021-05-16 1:28:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-16 1:39:03 PM  
Nothing in this article is news to me. Aside from telling visitors/kayakers not to get too close to sea otters (it's illegal) I refrain from telling people about sea otter's less savory behavior. Why upset the tourists?
 
2021-05-16 3:55:39 PM  
58 Seconds of Baby Otters Squeaking
Youtube 2X3AybtLAEk
 
2021-05-16 4:26:50 PM  
Why must we tell these hurtful lies, Subby?

Fark user imageView Full Size


I bet you feel badly now, as you well should.
 
2021-05-16 4:56:27 PM  

yet_another_wumpus: hubiestubert: Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.

Compare to the death toll of cats.  Can anything match the cute house kitten in pure serial murder body count?


Dragonflies.

No, seriously. 90% of hunts end successfully. Big cats? Like maybe 25%.
 
2021-05-16 5:36:13 PM  

yet_another_wumpus: hubiestubert: Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.

Compare to the death toll of cats.  Can anything match the cute house kitten in pure serial murder body count?


My favorite pet cat was the tiniest, cutest animal we've ever had. It farkin' ruled the neighborhood.  [WARNING: I've told this story before] We took it to a new vet for shots. The vet was preparing to one-hand the cat for the shot, and I tried to warn him. He was a burly guy and scoffed my concern with an "I've been doing this for 20 years" kind of remark. Well, ok. The needle had barely nicked the cat's skin when that tiny kitty elevated 18" straight up and the syringe cartwheeled [in slo-mo] through the air. "Can I get some help in here."
 
2021-05-16 5:47:09 PM  
We were at a dock on an island near the Gulf of Mexico, and 2-3 otters had boarded an empty boat looking for bait.  A kid on the pier (or nearby boat) leaned over and dangled some bait at the otters. I wanted to shout something about razor-sharp teeth, but didn't. (IIRC, our boat was in the process of leaving and I never heard what the upshot of the kid's dance with Death produced.)

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-05-17 2:40:02 AM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: Cute & cuddly =/= safe & innocent

[Fark user image 813x668]

/in both life & anime


YES I WANT TO MAKE A CONTRACT!
 
2021-05-17 1:49:16 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: yet_another_wumpus: hubiestubert: Everything that lives in the ocean is essentially terrible. The most intelligent species? Predators. Their 'play' is training to kill. Lots of things. From orcas to dolphins to, yeah, otters.

Compare to the death toll of cats.  Can anything match the cute house kitten in pure serial murder body count?

[Fark user image image 850x647]

Seriously.  Hilarious and cute and cuddly and they hit the water at upwards of 60 mph to grab fish from behind

[YouTube video: Blue-Footed Boobies Diving || ViralHog]

If a predator isn't a terrifying murder machine it will starve to death.


Dude, NSFW!  You just come in here and throw a pair of boobies in the thread...
 
Displayed 36 of 36 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.