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(Slate)   "My son is 14, coping with identity issues; he mentioned girls in his English class say whatever they want and blast the 'straight white men' for being part of the patriarchy. I fear he may be influenced by pathetic incels. How can I help him?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Anxiety, little bit, years of political discourse, John Donne's poem, English class, 16-year-old daughter, original Karate Kid movie, sure Caroline  
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329 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 04 May 2021 at 7:54 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-05-04 3:15:47 AM  
"And I'm probably straight"

I mean, teenagers seem to gloss onto the wrong things and blurt out honesty when called out on their bullshiat.

Maybe mom is asking the wrong questions and her attitude (for whatever reason) is keeping him from being more... Inwardly-focused. And he's lashing out in kind.
 
2021-05-04 6:43:15 AM  
Teach him how to fap.
 
2021-05-04 7:53:01 AM  
It's a pretty good response. Learning to ignore purposely provocative stuff like #killallmen or #Trumpwon2020 will serve him great in the Politics tab.
 
2021-05-04 7:53:15 AM  
I've seen  that video. Would not watch again.
 
2021-05-04 8:05:32 AM  
My nephew is a very shy and socially awkward kid who spends a lot of time on the internet and who just turned 15 and my sister is very worried about him getting sucked into one of these incel type mindsets.  I don't have any good advice.  The only thing I did on a computer at that age was homework and play Test Drive III and Daryl Gates Police Quest:  Open Season.
 
2021-05-04 8:13:02 AM  
I predict this thread will soon be off the rails. And if not, I'll be back to give it that nudge.
 
2021-05-04 8:19:41 AM  
Make sure he is clear on the difference between a fedora and a trilby
 
2021-05-04 8:19:54 AM  

vudukungfu: Teach him how to fap.


Fark user imageView Full Size

And much more...
 
2021-05-04 8:24:36 AM  
Teach him that anyone can be an asshole and that anyone is a very inclusive word.
 
2021-05-04 8:28:04 AM  
To be honest, if he's having trouble with teenage girls, that just makes him normal. Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.
 
2021-05-04 8:28:56 AM  
I recently watched all three seasons of Cobra Kai on Netflix...[plot summary]... And then maybe you guys could make a podcast about doing that, because there should definitely be more feminist cultural content that's aimed at boys, not just their concerned moms.


Did... Did C&F come up with a podcast idea they couldn't pull off and just make up a letter as an excuse to pitch it?
 
2021-05-04 8:33:40 AM  

Gramma: Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.


No truer words were ever spoken.
 
2021-05-04 8:37:39 AM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: Make sure he is clear on the difference between a fedora and a trilby


God damn it, a trilby IS a fedora.  This shiat has been driving me nuts for 15 years.  A fedora has several sub-categories of hat: the trilby, the homburg, the stingy brim, the porkpie, etc.

farkin PEOPLE.
 
2021-05-04 9:12:25 AM  
He needs to learn the very useful skill of rolling your eyes and moving on.

He's about the age when kids are between realizing that the world is full of BS and realizing that the world has always been that way and will always be that way and there's not much you can do about it, other than nudging your immediate environment in the right direction.
 
2021-05-04 9:13:32 AM  
We live in a society where a subculture exists that irrationally believe that people's position in society is based on sex, gender and skin color.  When ask for further information they yell you down because, you're part of the white patriarchal system that needs to be torn down.  The only solution is to hail lobster and move on with your life.
 
2021-05-04 9:17:43 AM  
"Is your son having difficulty in school?  Do the mean girls there bother him?  MIGHT HE BE GAY?  Then 'Cobra Kai' might be for you!  Cobra Kai!  1-800-NO-MERCY!  Call naaaaooouuuuww!!"

:-P
 
2021-05-04 9:26:16 AM  

Gramma: To be honest, if he's having trouble with teenage girls, that just makes him normal. Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.


Once again you have used "annoying" when you meant "evil"

It happens
 
2021-05-04 9:53:04 AM  
Slate must have a new editor looking to get numbers or something. They should stick to a more genuine feminist poutrage, like side with Clementine and say she was right to say C19 wasn't killing men fast enough or something. That would generate far more clicks and would practically be copy/paste, so cheaper to publish.
 
2021-05-04 10:41:43 AM  
"Well, if you want your little baby boy living in your basement when he's thirty, fat, smelly, completely with out social skills, but still validating your identity as 'Mommy', you just rush out and have a word with the school and those girls' moms right now.  Otherwise, get him off his ass, explain that he can't dictate how other people feel or what they can say, and start talking about what he can do that is more productive than Minecraft, Pokémon, and eating Cheezy Poofs. Is there a welding class at the community college in the evenings?"

Yeah, when I hear this sort of screed, usually Mommy wants her baby to be perfect, but still doesn't really want him to stop being a baby.
 
2021-05-04 12:27:12 PM  

Laobaojun: "Well, if you want your little baby boy living in your basement when he's thirty, fat, smelly, completely with out social skills, but still validating your identity as 'Mommy', you just rush out and have a word with the school and those girls' moms right now.  Otherwise, get him off his ass, explain that he can't dictate how other people feel or what they can say, and start talking about what he can do that is more productive than Minecraft, Pokémon, and eating Cheezy Poofs. Is there a welding class at the community college in the evenings?"

Yeah, when I hear this sort of screed, usually Mommy wants her baby to be perfect, but still doesn't really want him to stop being a baby.



Can confirm. Have a bff who has BOTH SONS living in the basement, doing nothing but getting high & playing video games.

With their dad.
 
2021-05-04 12:38:46 PM  

phenn: Gramma: Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.

No truer words were ever spoken.


in their element.
Take them out in the middle of the woods were they are required to work together to survive and you have a real adventure camp.

.

.

.

.
.
.
.
.
Or a horror movie.


.

.

..


.
.
.
choose your adventure.
 
2021-05-04 1:58:04 PM  

vudukungfu: phenn: Gramma: Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.

No truer words were ever spoken.

in their element.
Take them out in the middle of the woods were they are required to work together to survive and you have a real adventure camp.
.
Or a horror movie.
.
choose your adventure.


We used to take our daughters camping when they were young teens. It was primitive camping, too. No bathrooms, no running water, no electricity.   They hated it so much.  They bonded with each other over the camp trips since they had a common enemy.
 
2021-05-04 2:17:27 PM  

Laobaojun: "Well, if you want your little baby boy living in your basement when he's thirty, fat, smelly, completely with out social skills, but still validating your identity as 'Mommy', you just rush out and have a word with the school and those girls' moms right now.  Otherwise, get him off his ass, explain that he can't dictate how other people feel or what they can say, and start talking about what he can do that is more productive than Minecraft, Pokémon, and eating Cheezy Poofs. Is there a welding class at the community college in the evenings?"

Yeah, when I hear this sort of screed, usually Mommy wants her baby to be perfect, but still doesn't really want him to stop being a baby.


Of course that would require the letter writer to be real and not some figment of a Slate editor's imagination. However if it was real the mom should be thanking his feminist classmates for teaching him how feminists treat men, guaranteeing he will treat them the exact same way.
 
2021-05-04 2:36:55 PM  
Does he have an actual male role model, like, perhaps, a father? Someone who can live out in front of him that it's ok to be a man, and that the opinions of others are so much used toilet paper? This poor kid is dealing with all sorts of crap at school, wants to be (and be seen as) a decent person, and all mom can do is think about herself and how his trying to sort things out might make her look like a bad parent. Find someone sane to give him an example, encouragement, and some direction, and he'll come out just fine.
 
2021-05-04 6:13:45 PM  

writingdude: Does he have an actual male role model, like, perhaps, a father? Someone who can live out in front of him that it's ok to be a man, and that the opinions of others are so much used toilet paper? This poor kid is dealing with all sorts of crap at school, wants to be (and be seen as) a decent person, and all mom can do is think about herself and how his trying to sort things out might make her look like a bad parent. Find someone sane to give him an example, encouragement, and some direction, and he'll come out just fine.


Unfortunately, far from all fathers are the kinds of role models you'd want a child to have...

/ And I write that as, well, a "pathetic incel"
 
2021-05-05 8:49:40 AM  

Gramma: vudukungfu: phenn: Gramma: Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.

No truer words were ever spoken.

in their element.
Take them out in the middle of the woods were they are required to work together to survive and you have a real adventure camp.
.
Or a horror movie.
.
choose your adventure.

We used to take our daughters camping when they were young teens. It was primitive camping, too. No bathrooms, no running water, no electricity.   They hated it so much.  They bonded with each other over the camp trips since they had a common enemy.


you monster
teaching them teamwork and self reliance.
 
2021-05-05 8:53:27 AM  

vudukungfu: Gramma: vudukungfu: phenn: Gramma: Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.

No truer words were ever spoken.

in their element.
Take them out in the middle of the woods were they are required to work together to survive and you have a real adventure camp.
.
Or a horror movie.
.
choose your adventure.

We used to take our daughters camping when they were young teens. It was primitive camping, too. No bathrooms, no running water, no electricity.   They hated it so much.  They bonded with each other over the camp trips since they had a common enemy.

you monster
teaching them teamwork and self reliance.


You can't really do both at the same time, can you?  You either do teamwork or self-reliance.  I'm pretty sure they're literally opposites.
 
2021-05-05 9:15:04 AM  

inglixthemad: Laobaojun: "Well, if you want your little baby boy living in your basement when he's thirty, fat, smelly, completely with out social skills, but still validating your identity as 'Mommy', you just rush out and have a word with the school and those girls' moms right now.  Otherwise, get him off his ass, explain that he can't dictate how other people feel or what they can say, and start talking about what he can do that is more productive than Minecraft, Pokémon, and eating Cheezy Poofs. Is there a welding class at the community college in the evenings?"

Yeah, when I hear this sort of screed, usually Mommy wants her baby to be perfect, but still doesn't really want him to stop being a baby.

Of course that would require the letter writer to be real and not some figment of a Slate editor's imagination. However if it was real the mom should be thanking his feminist classmates for teaching him how feminists treat men, guaranteeing he will treat them the exact same way.


Letter writer sounds suspiciously like several women... sorry, "mommies" I know.  If mommy doesn't accept the fact that baby needs to grow up and get ready for the world, mommy will be mommy to a 30+ or 40+ year old in the fullness of time.  But the mommies see this as a win.
 
2021-05-05 10:02:31 AM  

mike_d85: I'm pretty sure they're literally opposites.


in a week's span, you can learn both, and when one is better than the other.
And why they are a balance.
 
2021-05-05 10:02:53 AM  
some of you will never learn Kung Fu and it shows.
 
2021-05-05 12:54:52 PM  

Gramma: Teenage girls are, as a group, the most annoying people on earth.


Well GEE.

It's almost like their bodies are warping out of their control and they're the most hated age group forever. They're hated for what they love and if they try to love other things people tell them they're ruining it. They're wrong if they're feminine, wrong if they aren't. Society rampantly sexualizes them them then brutalizes them if they have the gal to decide they're sexual.

They have every right to be annoying and retaliate. They're surrounded on all sides by wolves.
 
2021-05-05 1:02:28 PM  

Ringshadow: Well GEE.

It's almost like their bodies are warping out of their control and they're the most hated age group forever. They're hated for what they love and if they try to love other things people tell them they're ruining it. They're wrong if they're feminine, wrong if they aren't. Society rampantly sexualizes them them then brutalizes them if they have the gal to decide they're sexual.

They have every right to be annoying and retaliate. They're surrounded on all sides by wolves


Teenage boys go through much the same scenario. They're bodies are twisted, in some ways even more than teenage girls, by hormones. They are simultaneously expected to become masculine, but if they become masculine they might be labeled ebil or paternalistic. They are expected to simultaneously be stoic in the face of danger / pain / et al. but also expected to know when to show vulnerability. Failure to show vulnerability means they're repressed. The flip side of that is showing too much vulnerability means they are weak and unworthy of attention, much less respect.

I mean, it's almost like being a teenager is confusing no matter if you're biologically a boy or a girl. Retaliation is not only wrong, it's pathetic. Your statement to try and justify it only demonstrates how there is no justification.
 
2021-05-05 2:19:48 PM  

inglixthemad: almost like being a teenager is confusing no matter if you're biologically a boy or a girl.


Are you looking me dead in the eye and saying that teen boys are sexualized just as much as teenage girls.

Seriously.

As for justification, they are human teenagers. Raging against the machine is what they do. Blaming them for their position doesn't do a damn thing.
 
2021-05-05 5:00:04 PM  

Ringshadow: inglixthemad: almost like being a teenager is confusing no matter if you're biologically a boy or a girl.

Are you looking me dead in the eye and saying that teen boys are sexualized just as much as teenage girls.

Seriously.


I think you might be confused because of the way in which boys are sexualized as opposed to girls.  Girls are sexualized as objects they are to be looked at and subjected to sexual scrutiny (cat calling, ranking, is she hot, etc).

Boys are sexualized as actively pursuing sex.  There are dozens of movies about boys trying to get laid, fark there's probably a half a dozen FRANCHISES devoted to that (Porky's, American Pie, and the Meatballs sequels all fit).  Boys are expected to pressure girls into sex (to the point they regularly have their lives threatened before going on dates).  Male masturbation is a running joke (stiff socks, using all the kleenex, etc).  Take a long shower? "You're jerking off."

Teen boys are constantly sexualized by their behavior even when it's contradictory behavior: Take up a "feminine" hobby?  "Are you trying to meet girls?" Take up a "masculine" hobby? "Are you trying to impress girls?"  Boys are assumed to lead a life of hollow existence that they only live to get laid- or they are considered losers for doing the short list of things that isn't deemed a pursuit of sex.  Even then people will say nerds are playing the long game to get hot chicks when they're rich.

"Just as much" is debatable but I'd say there's probably a shiatload of overlap between "least sexualized girl" and "most sexualized boy."
 
2021-05-05 11:10:14 PM  

Ringshadow: inglixthemad: almost like being a teenager is confusing no matter if you're biologically a boy or a girl.

Are you looking me dead in the eye and saying that teen boys are sexualized just as much as teenage girls.

Seriously.

As for justification, they are human teenagers. Raging against the machine is what they do. Blaming them for their position doesn't do a damn thing.


LOL NO!

Boys are treated as meat to complete certain tasks, or die, and are taught they are completely disposable. Girls have self-worth in sexualization as baby factories. Boys are taught they don't matter at all unless they meet criteria they likely won't meet for another ten years, if ever. They learn they are meat nobody, except for maybe family, will care if they live or die.
 
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