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(GQ)   You might be cool now that you've been vaccinated, but that doesn't mean you're not still awkward at dating   (gq.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Vaccination, physical touch, spontaneous meet-cute, good news, friend of a friend, kinds of events, first dates, long time  
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1405 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2021 at 1:05 AM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



15 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-05-03 10:41:30 PM  
Hey baby, did you get your little prick, because I've got one for you to....

Okay subby you win this round.
 
2021-05-04 1:06:43 AM  
Your mom takes what she can get, Subby.
 
2021-05-04 1:13:07 AM  
At what, now?
 
2021-05-04 1:20:00 AM  
We should ban dating.  Of course we will need a transition period that resembles "brave new world", but ideally the government will develop maturation pods, making any and all dating obsolete, since the ideal humxn is a drone that dies the work needed by the collective to expand the collective.  Cloning and artificial wombs would make this possible.  Or genetically engineering a caste of humxn that resembles a queen termite, pumping out dozens to hundreds of babies a day (some sort of internal conveyor belt of baby making) to be cared for by sterile workers.  Maybe with permalacting workers to provide  nourishment for the humxn pupa.  Of course the mobile care takers would have the ability to lactate, but like the termite queen humxn is specialized, there should also be humxns engineerered to have dozens of teats and being hundreds of pounds of pure breast tissue.  Just a withering mass of teats being milked by workers to provide milk to the humxn pupa.  Sure, it might seem grotesque, but we will have those feelings engineered away.  A humxn should only have to worry about their task.  Not other things.  It is inefficient, and uses too much carbon resources to do things other than expand the hive collective.
 
2021-05-04 1:20:22 AM  
American Dad B12 Music Video (Best Quality - 1080p HD)
Youtube WgWOLQGpAGo
 
2021-05-04 1:26:30 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: We should ban dating.  Of course we will need a transition period that resembles "brave new world", but ideally the government will develop maturation pods, making any and all dating obsolete, since the ideal humxn is a drone that dies the work needed by the collective to expand the collective.  Cloning and artificial wombs would make this possible.  Or genetically engineering a caste of humxn that resembles a queen termite, pumping out dozens to hundreds of babies a day (some sort of internal conveyor belt of baby making) to be cared for by sterile workers.  Maybe with permalacting workers to provide  nourishment for the humxn pupa.  Of course the mobile care takers would have the ability to lactate, but like the termite queen humxn is specialized, there should also be humxns engineerered to have dozens of teats and being hundreds of pounds of pure breast tissue.  Just a withering mass of teats being milked by workers to provide milk to the humxn pupa.  Sure, it might seem grotesque, but we will have those feelings engineered away.  A humxn should only have to worry about their task.  Not other things.  It is inefficient, and uses too much carbon resources to do things other than expand the hive collective.


Abolish the police.
 
2021-05-04 1:36:44 AM  
Porn isn't contagious.
Or is it?
 
2021-05-04 1:40:44 AM  
We have plans to meet up with our son, daughter in law and two grand son for a vacation. We are going camping. We are seasoned campers and one thing we love about it is watching the tourists trying to set up their camp sites. If they are really bad we offer our help (after a good laugh). Most campers are very friendly. They chat or at least nod a hello. The tourists are not always friendly.
 
2021-05-04 1:44:26 AM  

Begoggle: AmbassadorBooze: We should ban dating.  Of course we will need a transition period that resembles "brave new world", but ideally the government will develop maturation pods, making any and all dating obsolete, since the ideal humxn is a drone that dies the work needed by the collective to expand the collective.  Cloning and artificial wombs would make this possible.  Or genetically engineering a caste of humxn that resembles a queen termite, pumping out dozens to hundreds of babies a day (some sort of internal conveyor belt of baby making) to be cared for by sterile workers.  Maybe with permalacting workers to provide  nourishment for the humxn pupa.  Of course the mobile care takers would have the ability to lactate, but like the termite queen humxn is specialized, there should also be humxns engineerered to have dozens of teats and being hundreds of pounds of pure breast tissue.  Just a withering mass of teats being milked by workers to provide milk to the humxn pupa.  Sure, it might seem grotesque, but we will have those feelings engineered away.  A humxn should only have to worry about their task.  Not other things.  It is inefficient, and uses too much carbon resources to do things other than expand the hive collective.

Abolish the police.


A world with genetically engineered humxn with only the capability to think about their assigned station and job, won't need police at all.  Which is a way of abolishing the police.  Therefore, to rid the world of the dark evil that is police man killers, we should strive towards the world of brood queens and lactating masses of humxn flesh.
 
2021-05-04 1:46:09 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: We should ban dating.  Of course we will need a transition period that resembles "brave new world", but ideally the government will develop maturation pods, making any and all dating obsolete, since the ideal humxn is a drone that dies the work needed by the collective to expand the collective.  Cloning and artificial wombs would make this possible.  Or genetically engineering a caste of humxn that resembles a queen termite, pumping out dozens to hundreds of babies a day (some sort of internal conveyor belt of baby making) to be cared for by sterile workers.  Maybe with permalacting workers to provide  nourishment for the humxn pupa.  Of course the mobile care takers would have the ability to lactate, but like the termite queen humxn is specialized, there should also be humxns engineerered to have dozens of teats and being hundreds of pounds of pure breast tissue.  Just a withering mass of teats being milked by workers to provide milk to the humxn pupa.  Sure, it might seem grotesque, but we will have those feelings engineered away.  A humxn should only have to worry about their task.  Not other things.  It is inefficient, and uses too much carbon resources to do things other than expand the hive collective.


The fark are you talking about? People were encouraged to be promiscuous in BNW. Children who didn't experiment with their peers were considered "disturbed". It was a central part of John's narrative. (Any book that makes a hero out of a backwoods hillbilly who is mostly good at rebelling is likely to suck, I'm looking at you Battlefield Earth...)
 
2021-05-04 2:13:27 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: ideally the government will develop maturation pods, making any and all dating obsolete


I may have misread one of those words. It still made perfect sense.
 
2021-05-04 3:16:04 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: hundreds of pounds of pure breast tissue.


Fark is my erotica site

/fap
 
2021-05-04 7:17:34 AM  
 
2021-05-04 7:46:02 AM  

MIRV888: Porn isn't contagious


It should be.

"Imagine a world...where every time a pizza is ordered, the women gets a an extra large pepperoni..."
 
2021-05-04 10:25:48 AM  
I feel bad for the suckers who are out there having to play the field. You can't just walk up to someone and introduce yourself these days because everyone under 30 thinks that's creepy and weird (it's much better to meet a stranger on the Internet and then meet up for boba at some restaurant, I guess?) and people are either so self-absorbed that you'll end up on their TikTok/Insta/Twitter as a story for Internet points, or so evil & stupid that they're openly embracing white supremacy and anti-vaccination. If you're not up on the newest junky pop music or junky country-pop music or junky hip-pop music, you're old and out of touch. Finding a partner who doesn't watch reality shows or follow the Kardashians or obsess over sports or belong to some crazy cult is a challenge, and even if you do find that person you never know if they're so addled by social media that they'll kill you in your sleep to get a book deal, YouTube channel, and spot on daytime talk shows.

If, goodness forbid, I ever find myself single again I will seriously consider moving to a farking lighthouse in the U.P. and buying a deluxe sex robot or something. Dating seems like a minefield of nightmares now.
 
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