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(Yahoo)   If you are going to pistol whip someone, make sure you point the barrel away from your nearby relatives   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, United States Senate, Joe Biden, President of the United States, Democratic Party, George W. Bush, Republican Party, Vice President of the United States, Florida Republicans  
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3641 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 May 2021 at 5:35 PM (4 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



62 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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4 days ago  
Responsible.
 
4 days ago  
Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.
 
4 days ago  
Have you met my relatives?
 
4 days ago  
Look at the bright side, no work Monday for the dead guy.
 
4 days ago  
A gun walks into a bar, punches some guy and then shoots another. The bullet says to the gun, "Now that's a chaser!"

/I make these up without effort.
 
4 days ago  
Always assume the melee weapon is loaded.
 
4 days ago  
The 2nd amendment is a curse upon this country.
 
4 days ago  
Should have had a gun to defend himself.
 
4 days ago  

mofa: Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.


Fun fact: If a bullet is fired horizontally at the same time that a bullet is dropped from the same height they will both hit the ground at the same time.
 
4 days ago  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

Mock26: Fun fact: If a bullet is fired horizontally at the same time that a bullet is dropped from the same height they will both hit the ground at the same time.


32 feet per second, squared.

/thanks to Sir Isaac Newton.
 
4 days ago  
that's called a "pistol whipper snapper" when you gun goes off while you're beating a guy with it.
 
4 days ago  

Isitoveryet: that's called a "pistol whipper snapper" when you gun goes off while you're beating a guy with it.


I was gonna go with "Oakland Backdoor" but OK.
 
4 days ago  
The Simpsons - Pistol Whip
Youtube o37V1Msmi9s
 
4 days ago  

bughunter: Isitoveryet: that's called a "pistol whipper snapper" when you gun goes off while you're beating a guy with it.

I was gonna go with "Oakland Backdoor" but OK.


Oakland backdoor sounds like butt stuff.
NTTAWWT.
 
4 days ago  
media3.giphy.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

Mock26: mofa: Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.

Fun fact: If a bullet is fired horizontally at the same time that a bullet is dropped from the same height they will both hit the ground at the same time.


I have a physics degree from Caltech, and I can confirm that if the earth were flat, you'd have been correct.
 
4 days ago  
A pistol is a fragile and beautiful piece of machinery. Please don't hit someone with it, use a rock.
 
4 days ago  
I've said it before.  There is some kind of Dunning Kruger Effect when it comes to guns.  The more someone thinks they need to carry or use a gun, the less likely they have the intelligence and maturity to make that decision responsibly.
 
4 days ago  

mrparks: A pistol is a fragile and beautiful piece of machinery. Please don't hit someone with it, use a rock.


Or a poin ted stick.

y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

Isitoveryet: bughunter: Isitoveryet: that's called a "pistol whipper snapper" when you gun goes off while you're beating a guy with it.

I was gonna go with "Oakland Backdoor" but OK.

Oakland backdoor sounds like butt stuff.
NTTAWWT.


It was a porno based on Oakland Raiders cheerleaders and John Madden.
 
4 days ago  

winedrinkingman: I've said it before.  There is some kind of Dunning Kruger Effect when it comes to guns.  The more someone thinks they need to carry or use a gun, the less likely they have the intelligence and maturity to make that decision responsibly.


You're not wrong, barring someone in a job that genuinely requires one.  While we're on the subject, it's not a hammer you morons.  Unless you're empty (and you're desperate) do not go around hitting shiat with it.  Bullets use percussion to set off the primer - you are applying percussion to the thing by pretending it's a club.  Rocket surgery it ain't.
 
4 days ago  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: winedrinkingman: I've said it before.  There is some kind of Dunning Kruger Effect when it comes to guns.  The more someone thinks they need to carry or use a gun, the less likely they have the intelligence and maturity to make that decision responsibly.

You're not wrong, barring someone in a job that genuinely requires one.  While we're on the subject, it's not a hammer you morons.  Unless you're empty (and you're desperate) do not go around hitting shiat with it.  Bullets use percussion to set off the primer - you are applying percussion to the thing by pretending it's a club.  Rocket surgery it ain't.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
4 days ago  
Keep the safety on and your finger off the trigger unless you are in the act of shooting
 
4 days ago  
That's another example of why there should be mandatory safety training for owning firearms.

There's the right way and the unsafe way to do a pistol whipping. This is the sort of thing that needs to be taught.
 
4 days ago  

chuggernaught: The 2nd amendment is a curse upon this country.


Blah blah blah.

Get some new material, pal.

Maybe some time on a shooting range would improve your personality.
 
4 days ago  

mofa: Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.


🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
 
4 days ago  

bughunter: mrparks: A pistol is a fragile and beautiful piece of machinery. Please don't hit someone with it, use a rock.

Or a poin ted stick.

[y.yarn.co image 622x480]


Or a banana.
 
4 days ago  
I keep telling everybody violence is the tool of the weak and or the stupid, ALWAYS!
 
4 days ago  
Mock26:

Fun fact: If a bullet is fired horizontally at the same time that a bullet is dropped from the same height they will both hit the ground at the same time.

What if you're standing on the guy you're aiming at?
 
4 days ago  

mrparks: A pistol is a fragile and beautiful piece of machinery. Please don't hit someone with it, use a rock.


Or use poop on a stick, like a civilized person

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

waxbeans: I keep telling everybody violence is the tool of the weak and or the stupid, ALWAYS!


I guess all those soldiers who defeated the nazis with violence were weak and stupid.
 
4 days ago  

mofa: Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

OgreMagi: waxbeans: I keep telling everybody violence is the tool of the weak and or the stupid, ALWAYS!

I guess all those soldiers who defeated the nazis with violence were weak and stupid.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
4 days ago  

waxbeans: I keep telling everybody violence is the tool of the weak and or the stupid, ALWAYS!


1) Who smarted that garbage?

2) Of someone breaks into your house while you are at home, I'm sure that your words will change his mind.  LOL.
 
4 days ago  

mofa: Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.


To make the bullets OF jam. Shooter shoots, sees a big red splat on the victim, leaves satisfied. Victim gets a free snack of strawberry or raspberry jam. Win-win.
 
4 days ago  
Why wasn't a good guy with a gun stopping him? I heard that's how it works.
 
4 days ago  

Mock26: mofa: Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.

Fun fact: If a bullet is fired horizontally at the same time that a bullet is dropped from the same height they will both hit the ground at the same time.


Do you know how many arguments I've been in over this?
/nickle a piece
//I'd  still be poor
 
4 days ago  

batrachoseps: Mock26:

Fun fact: If a bullet is fired horizontally at the same time that a bullet is dropped from the same height they will both hit the ground at the same time.

What if you're standing on the guy you're aiming at?


Then you would not be hiring it horizontally, now would you?

/Do you even English, bro?
:-D
 
4 days ago  

OgreMagi: waxbeans: I keep telling everybody violence is the tool of the weak and or the stupid, ALWAYS!

I guess all those soldiers who defeated the nazis with violence were weak and stupid.


You are talking to a wall.  waxbeans is delusional.
 
4 days ago  
Well a 2009 chevy might become available soon.
 
4 days ago  

austerity101: Why wasn't a good guy with a gun stopping him? I heard that's how it works.


Half the people who were there took off, and the 'relative' also left, thereby leaving the injured relative to die alone. There were no good guys there, it was all desperados. Like a wise man once said, these things that are pleasing them(guns, bars) can hurt them somehow.
 
4 days ago  

Isitoveryet: that's called a "pistol whipper snapper" when you gun goes off while you're beating a guy with it.


Man, there really is a sniglet for everything.
 
4 days ago  

leeksfromchichis: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: winedrinkingman: I've said it before.  There is some kind of Dunning Kruger Effect when it comes to guns.  The more someone thinks they need to carry or use a gun, the less likely they have the intelligence and maturity to make that decision responsibly.

You're not wrong, barring someone in a job that genuinely requires one.  While we're on the subject, it's not a hammer you morons.  Unless you're empty (and you're desperate) do not go around hitting shiat with it.  Bullets use percussion to set off the primer - you are applying percussion to the thing by pretending it's a club.  Rocket surgery it ain't.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 650x297]


Best conclusion I've come to on that sort of thing is some oldschool weapon designers really didn't like their customers much...
 
4 days ago  

ongbok: Keep the safety on and your finger off the trigger unless you are in the act of shooting your posse's gettin' big or your posse's gettin' bigger

 
4 days ago  
I was a rifleman in a warzone (SVN) for over 500 days. Fired at humans more than once. That was my job.

Sometimes waxbeans is correct. This is one of those times...
 
4 days ago  

LarrySouth: I was a rifleman in a warzone (SVN) for over 500 days. Fired at humans more than once. That was my job.

Sometimes waxbeans is correct. This is one of those times...


I mean, myself, I don't feel the need to carry a telephone on my person at all times either. Why? Because the odds of me needing it are minuscule at best and I'm not lugging around dead weight for no reason. But I'd carry a firearm (or a phone even) if I needed to use it more days than not.
 
4 days ago  
Detectives say about seven or eight people were at the bar at the time of the shooting, the Houston Chronicle reported, and about half of them left before deputies responded.

i am shocked they didn't stay in order to assist the police in their inquiries
 
4 days ago  

mofa: I have a physics degree from Caltech, and I can confirm that if the earth were flat, you'd have been correct.


What do you mean "if," college boy?

/ Study it out.
 
4 days ago  

mofa: Mock26: mofa: Most people don't know this, but once fired out of a gun, bullets only live for less than a second, and in that second, they experience the full spectrum of human emotions.

// I got nothing. I'm numb.
// We should just bribe ammunition companies to make bullets jam and explode and kill the users.

Fun fact: If a bullet is fired horizontally at the same time that a bullet is dropped from the same height they will both hit the ground at the same time.

I have a physics degree from Caltech, and I can confirm that if the earth were flat, you'd have been correct.


I think this scenario is small enough that you can pretend the cows are spherical in your model.
 
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