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(Mirror.co.uk)   This is how you make a passenger safety announcement aboard your flight as a flight attendant if you want to OWN the aisle   (mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Amusing, Flight attendant, flight attendant, flight announcements, member of cabin crew, good morning, best flight attendant, Flight attendants, own version of the safety instructions  
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5227 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Apr 2021 at 3:05 PM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



28 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-04-22 2:12:10 PM  
Naked?
 
2021-04-22 3:08:40 PM  
Thank God for the gays
 
2021-04-22 3:10:23 PM  
Yes sayin is all. OWN THT AISLE!!!

media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-22 3:13:02 PM  
OMG, that was funny. Ha! Ha! Ha!
 
2021-04-22 3:14:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

oh no you didn't.
 
2021-04-22 3:15:59 PM  
That guy was great. He should come up with jokes for the talk. Maybe he could get an inflatable duck for the vest part.
 
2021-04-22 3:17:19 PM  
Wasn't there one where the flight attendant said something like "I don't care if it says Prada or Gucci it goes under the seat.  We all know yours is fake anyway, if it were real you wouldn't be flying JetBlue"
 
2021-04-22 3:19:08 PM  
Soul Plane (9/12) Movie CLIP - You're A Survivor (2004) HD
Youtube YfUodLRuU-A
 
2021-04-22 3:20:39 PM  
Don't care. I'm still going to be getting a nap head start on my 18 hour flight while my blanket is on my lap so the attendant can't tell my seat belt isn't on. I don't recline my seat because I'm not a monster.
 
2021-04-22 3:22:34 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-22 3:24:37 PM  
(reads article)
..
...
K
 
2021-04-22 3:30:41 PM  
Kate Micucci Knows Exactly What Her Last Name Sounds Like - CONAN on TBS
Youtube 6C6CzEEKaXQ
 
2021-04-22 3:40:22 PM  
WestJet used to have some pretty fun preflight safety instructions.

I don't recall many specifics, but they were chuckle worthy.
 
2021-04-22 3:48:33 PM  
That guy sounds baked.

The best F-A jokes are delivered deadpan, and inserted seamlessly into the standard language.

"...so as we've begun to taxi for takeoff, please return all tray tables and seatbacks to the fully upright position, and make sure that your seatbelts are fastened, the Captain has told us that he wants to try something different this time."
 
2021-04-22 3:49:35 PM  
Southwest has done this sort of thing forever.

(after demonstrating how to fasten the seat belt) "And if you had difficulty fastening a seat belt you might not be quite ready for air travel."

"In the event of a water landing, please use the complimentary flotation device found under your seat..."

"In the event of a loss of pressure, three oxygen masks will drop from the compartment above... If you're traveling with more than two children - first of all, what were you thinking? Please decide now which ones you're going to save..."

"There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane..." - This one must be in the manual, I've heard it a dozen times.
 
2021-04-22 4:05:28 PM  
I had a flight attendant once who asked people to look at the safety card because she had personally colored every one of them.
 
2021-04-22 4:37:02 PM  
Mitch Hedburg called from the great beyond. He wants his delivery back.
 
2021-04-22 4:52:13 PM  
TFV says "Leaves them in stitches"

As we can clearly hear just a few people chuckling.
 
2021-04-22 4:56:16 PM  
'funny' flight attendants are never funny. just fly me to the place I paid a large chunk of change to goto. I am not here for dinner theater, I am here to get to Denver.
 
2021-04-22 5:00:52 PM  

chucknasty: 'funny' flight attendants are never funny. just fly me to the place I paid a large chunk of change to goto. I am not here for dinner theater, I am here to get to Denver.


Lighten up, Francis.
 
2021-04-22 5:53:31 PM  

chucknasty: 'funny' flight attendants are never funny. just fly me to the place I paid a large chunk of change to goto. I am not here for dinner theater, I am here to get to Denver.


You aren't really required to pay attention to them.
 
2021-04-22 5:57:15 PM  
This is what happens when Debbie from accounting has a bright idea to save money on the helipad.
 
2021-04-22 6:00:21 PM  

chucknasty: 'funny' flight attendants are never funny. just fly me to the place I paid a large chunk of change to goto. I am not here for dinner theater, I am here to get to Denver.


Yeah, I can't imagine what sort of incentive airlines' front-line employees would see in trying to humanize themselves and lighten the mood in an environment notorious for causing otherwise reasonable people to become irrational, confrontational monsters.

They're probably just trying to annoy you, for fun.
 
2021-04-22 6:27:02 PM  

southernmanblog: Southwest has done this sort of thing forever.

(after demonstrating how to fasten the seat belt) "And if you had difficulty fastening a seat belt you might not be quite ready for air travel."

"In the event of a water landing, please use the complimentary flotation device found under your seat..."

"In the event of a loss of pressure, three oxygen masks will drop from the compartment above... If you're traveling with more than two children - first of all, what were you thinking? Please decide now which ones you're going to save..."

"There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane..." - This one must be in the manual, I've heard it a dozen times.


The classics never go out of style.
 
2021-04-22 7:07:05 PM  

chucknasty: 'funny' flight attendants are never funny. just fly me to the place I paid a large chunk of change to goto. I am not here for dinner theater, I am here to get to Denver.


Does bring cranky ever get you there faster?
 
2021-04-22 8:46:48 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: chucknasty: 'funny' flight attendants are never funny. just fly me to the place I paid a large chunk of change to goto. I am not here for dinner theater, I am here to get to Denver.

Does bring cranky ever get you there faster?


If anything, it makes the flight feel longer.

/Which is why I am buzzed and happy when I fly.
 
HFK [BareFark]
2021-04-22 9:20:12 PM  
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2021-04-22 9:26:37 PM  
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