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(   Best rejection letter contest; Deadline Feb. 14th   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

6299 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2002 at 1:25 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

26 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-02-09 01:25:27 AM  
First Click.
2002-02-09 01:26:16 AM  
Uh, link please ...
2002-02-09 01:28:21 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Scott Adams rejected this strip we proposed.

2002-02-09 01:31:32 AM  
WAY OFF TOPIC. Well I'm back. Hard to begin to describe the difference between a p133 and 56k to 1.8 and broadband. Yeah I held out till the old girl just had to go. Got 5 years out of her. The way things are now I might be able to hang on to this one for 2.

I wanted to come back and get first boobies but oh well. Good to be Farking again. Oops, sorry now it's called Drew Curtis' Farking right?
2002-02-09 01:35:19 AM  
Dear Loser.
Welcome to dumpsville.
Population: You.

God bless Homer Simpson.
2002-02-09 01:37:09 AM  
Why would I want a byline on Before today I'd never heard of them; come Sunday I'll have forgotten them. Just give me something I can use: cold, hard cash.
2002-02-09 01:38:37 AM  

go fark yourself"

keep it simple, I always say.
2002-02-09 01:42:29 AM  
Another Homerism "I'm not gay, but I'll learn"
FNG [TotalFark]
2002-02-09 01:57:56 AM  
Restaurant Page: "Bitter, party of one? Bitter, party of one?"

*tm who knows.
2002-02-09 02:03:51 AM  
I imagine the best rejection letter is a subpoena.

One telling you that you're about to be ordered 500 ft. away at all times...

Not that I'd know, ahem.
2002-02-09 02:05:39 AM  
Not so much a rejection LETTER ... but getting phone numbers from ladies that memorized the numbers to crisis lines or Domino's in their neighborhood ...
2002-02-09 02:07:08 AM  
I'd love to help, but I've been accidentally shot by Claudine Longet.
2002-02-09 02:32:56 AM  
I thought this was going to be a contest of the funniest job rejection letter. I think my idea is better.
2002-02-09 02:52:06 AM  
This one's not bad.
2002-02-09 03:32:23 AM  
sad story: I've received a rejection letter from company I've never even considered (Gateway) What a waste of bovine stationary....
2002-02-09 05:48:50 AM  
s t o o p i d
2002-02-09 06:15:12 AM  
March 14, 1996
Professor Hombre
Chair - Search Committee
Department of Biochemistry
University of Towanda Health Sciences Center
Towanda, IA

Dear Professor Hombre,

Thank you for your letter of March 6. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite the University of Towanda's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this May. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best luck in rejecting future applicants.


Goddard Youville
2002-02-09 10:47:16 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
should be photoshopped
2002-02-09 10:52:01 AM  
Sure Debra winger is cool and all but....

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-09 12:18:18 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2002-02-09 12:46:46 PM  
My sister-in-law's high school sweetheart broke up with her when he decided he was gay. Her first husband, and father of her two children, also left because he decided he was gay. There are men out there who would rather suck dick than be with my sister-in-law.
Having met the girl, I can't say they're in the wrong.
2002-02-09 12:59:48 PM  
thats a bit harsh Pesce
2002-02-09 03:04:12 PM  
An old girlfriend once dumped me because she decided she was still in love with her ex-husband. Wait, it gets better; she suffered from depression at times, and at one one point near the end of their marriage, she tried to kill herself by slitting her wrists. The husband comes home to find her sitting on the bathroom floor and bleeding into the toilet. His only comment? "You should have cut them the long way (from wrist to elbow), it works better."
2002-02-09 05:12:37 PM  
Well, I knew a guy that that dated 5 women, and all of them tunred lez after dumping him.
2002-02-10 12:11:35 AM  
Alan Ginsberg once got one that said:

F*u*c*k you very much.
2002-02-10 12:33:21 AM  
February 9, 2000

Currently Unemployed
Your Mother's Basement
Catballs, AR 23587

Dear Scientologist Txnkorny,

Thank you for your letter of January 6. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to offer you the position we had open involving licking the toilets clean in the fat men's smoking lounge.

This year we only received one other application - from a mentally handicapped (retarded) individual - who goes by the name 'tard boy. We feel he is better qualified for the position.

Despite the "resume" you sent us, which rather graphically described how you could clean anything, and then you went on to demonstrate this fact in an videotaped exhibition involving your cat, grandmother, and what looked like a gallon of Vaseline.

We do not feel you will meet our needs at this time.

You may be pleased to know that we forwarded your letter to the mental health experts at the University of Arkansas for further studies.

Best luck in the future trying to extricate that feline from your Grandmother's nether region.


Rudy Slipman
Kennedy Junior High School

P.S. Are you the same Txnkorny who was known as bukkake boy when you attended our school?
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