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(Thrillist)   Ranking the 50 states from worst to best. By shape   (thrillist.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, A Good Thing, That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is, Contiguous United States, US Gov, SC sort of look, Washington DC's thought-bubble, piece of Wonder Bread toast, Chukka shoe-like  
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590 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 21 Apr 2021 at 4:05 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-04-21 1:32:51 PM  
It could have been a lot worse...

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2021-04-21 1:58:52 PM  

BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

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In that version, there's no Kentucky or Ohio. I'd say that's a lot better.
 
2021-04-21 2:07:18 PM  

MrBallou: BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

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In that version, there's no Kentucky or Ohio. I'd say that's a lot better.


Maybe. In an alternate universe, there's a lot of "you can take the O'hi out of Virginia, but..." and related jokes.
 
2021-04-21 2:10:01 PM  
Washington sucks.  Don't move here.
 
2021-04-21 2:26:13 PM  
Only California and Idaho look like erect penii, and California has wider and consistent girth, so we win.

// Massachusetts needs to visit a doctor about that Cape Cod Curve; there are medications for that.
 
2021-04-21 2:27:48 PM  

BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

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Yeah, Lake Michigan in Massachussetts.  That's a call to arms!
 
2021-04-21 2:41:44 PM  
PA has the curves on one end and a wet spot on the other.
 
2021-04-21 2:42:16 PM  

mofa: Only California and Idaho look like erect penii, and California has wider and consistent girth, so we win.


I think we all win!
 
2021-04-21 2:46:08 PM  
If Missouri were on Earth, Star Lord would laugh at those violations.
 
2021-04-21 4:06:43 PM  
Iowa has a boob.  We win.
 
2021-04-21 4:13:55 PM  
To its credit, the state of Colorado is probably the easiest to draw.
 
2021-04-21 4:28:43 PM  
Wow. On an internet of stupid, unfunny crap, that may well be the stupidest, unfunnniest crappiest.
 
2021-04-21 4:35:14 PM  
List is BS.  Clearly, VT is upside down NH, and just an unstable tippy mess of a shape!

Outrage!
 
2021-04-21 4:36:39 PM  
Florida, put the mouse back in the house? Um, ok
 
2021-04-21 4:48:22 PM  
Wyoming and Colorado can't possibly be separated, if we are just going on shape.
 
2021-04-21 4:49:28 PM  

We Ate the Necco Wafers: Wyoming and Colorado can't possibly be separated, if we are just going on shape.


Ha ha! Called it.
 
2021-04-21 4:55:51 PM  

BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

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Anything more than the original 13 states seems a little weird. Why didn't they just extend the western borders of the states all of the way to the west coast? Big, long, skinny states that stretch across the entire nation.
 
2021-04-21 5:01:33 PM  

Mikey1969: BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

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Anything more than the original 13 states seems a little weird. Why didn't they just extend the western borders of the states all of the way to the west coast? Big, long, skinny states that stretch across the entire nation.


Exactly. And we're talking foosball table straight, not "the closest we have is montana's northern border" straight...
 
2021-04-21 5:02:58 PM  
DNRTFA, but Texas has a nice compositional symmetry going for it.  That's why they plaster it on everything.

Worst state shape, and it's not even close is Maryland.  Deformed crab claw panhandle thing with a flat top?  No thanks.
 
2021-04-21 5:07:53 PM  
Also, Texas used to be a little funkier.

cdn.shopify.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-21 5:23:30 PM  
Kentucky is a fried chicken leg. Your argument is invalid.

/dnrtfa
 
2021-04-21 5:24:31 PM  
Slather on that Valtrex, Canadians...

*SMOOOOOCH*

/or not
 
2021-04-21 5:48:24 PM  
Michigan and Idaho's shapes have two benefits that other states don't have:  Locals can (and do!) point to parts of their hand to show non-locals where things are on the map of the state:

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2021-04-21 5:52:43 PM  

mcmnky: Wow. On an internet of stupid, unfunny crap, that may well be the stupidest, unfunnniest crappiest.


Sweaty, desperate need for copy has never had an unfunnier example. That was crap. So say we all.
 
2021-04-21 6:03:26 PM  
North Carolina looks like a cornucopia. If Wikipedia's to be trusted (it is), then this translates into a good thing, because a cornucopia is a "symbol of abundance and nourishment, commonly a large horn-shaped container overflowing with produce, flowers or nuts."

As it happens, the state seal features a cornucopia.

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2021-04-21 6:16:53 PM  

Cyberluddite: Michigan and Idaho's shapes have two benefits that other states don't have:  Locals can (and do!) point to parts of their hand to show non-locals where things are on the map of the state:

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Same with West Virginia.
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I live at the "I" in the word "Martinsburg" on that "map".
 
2021-04-21 6:18:35 PM  
So WY and CO get ranked at the bottom for being rectangles, but somehow Utah is ranked 5th for being two rectangles slapped together.

Stupid list is really stupid.
 
2021-04-21 7:17:11 PM  

BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

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Joliet was important enough to on that map pre-prison?
 
2021-04-21 7:21:58 PM  
23. Oklahoma
You see a frying pan? We see a short-handle meat-cleaver with blood dripping off its jagged blade having just been in the skull of Texas. Have you ever lived in Oklahoma? Well, I have, and that's what everyone in Oklahoma wants to do to Texas, so this is correct.
 
2021-04-21 7:22:06 PM  
I like the way NYS looks. He should have
 
2021-04-21 7:34:27 PM  

Mikey1969: BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

[Fark user image 417x643]

Anything more than the original 13 states seems a little weird. Why didn't they just extend the western borders of the states all of the way to the west coast? Big, long, skinny states that stretch across the entire nation.


Well, first the French owned everything.

Then there was about 50 years where the U.S. played "just let the settlers kill the indians".

Then the Spanish owned the rest.

Then Mexico.

The colonies didn't have the manpower to tell 2 other nations to piss off, imma make my own maps, with blackjack and hookers.
 
2021-04-21 7:38:09 PM  

ZMugg: Cyberluddite: Michigan and Idaho's shapes have two benefits that other states don't have:  Locals can (and do!) point to parts of their hand to show non-locals where things are on the map of the state:

[Fark user image 520x520]


[Fark user image 370x544]

Same with West Virginia.
[i.pinimg.com image 640x640]
I live at the "I" in the word "Martinsburg" on that "map".


California is an erect penis. At this time, I choose not to provide a visual guide to where I live.

// But think cock ring.
 
2021-04-21 7:54:17 PM  
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2021-04-21 7:57:39 PM  
NJ would have been funnier if Crystie was still governor.  So, when the hell was that written?
 
2021-04-21 8:37:08 PM  

emersonbiggins: Also, Texas used to be a little funkier.

[cdn.shopify.com image 850x679]


The Southwest had the right idea before 1848. Then they screwed up and had to wait over 150 years for a decent taco truck density.

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2021-04-21 8:40:49 PM  
34. Michigan

WRONG!!!

Only state divided into two big pieces. Coasts on four ocean-sized lakes.
 
2021-04-21 10:21:58 PM  

BretMavrik: It could have been a lot worse...

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Oh, you mean where we have parts of Canada?
 
2021-04-21 11:52:21 PM  
This is about the dumbest link I've seen on Fark outside of the Poltab.
 
2021-04-22 1:28:57 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: This is about the dumbest link I've seen on Fark outside of the Poltab.


You really should click on more links outside of the Poltab. This one is very much in the middle as to quality.
 
2021-04-22 1:49:38 AM  
Yeah but we're YUGE!!

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