Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Twitter)   You're on an 8 hour trans-Atlantic flight to New York when this happens. What do you do?   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Survey, shot  
•       •       •

898 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 20 Apr 2021 at 3:05 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



76 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-04-20 1:25:05 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2021-04-20 1:29:59 PM  
Assholes watch, non-assholes try and help out.
 
2021-04-20 1:30:34 PM  
This is the reason I don't fly without noise cancelling headphones.  I used to wonder how well they worked until my then wife turned to me after a flight and asked me how I didn't lose my shiat at the kid behind me screaming the whole flight.  I didn't even notice.
 
2021-04-20 1:31:29 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-20 1:32:35 PM  

arrogantbastich: Assholes watch, non-assholes try and help out.


I played with a guys two kids from Toronto to Amsterdam, he bought me a coffee in Amsterdam airport.
 
2021-04-20 1:35:35 PM  
20 to life.
 
2021-04-20 1:35:50 PM  

I.M.APseudonym: This is the reason I don't fly without noise cancelling headphones.


I need to invest in a good pair.  I always forget how noisy a *quiet* flight is.
 
2021-04-20 1:36:19 PM  
etc.usf.eduView Full Size
 
2021-04-20 1:38:58 PM  
I go to sleep.  In the Before Times, I flew enough to where I could reliably be passed out before wheels up, and wake up right before landing.  Record was JFK to Dubai.
 
2021-04-20 1:40:01 PM  
Right because young children that emotionally raw are master logicians and listen to reason. They're selfless givers who care more about the people around them than they do themselves, and if they don't listen the parent should totes punish them by giving them a spanking in the bathroom... oh wait, that'll get their kids taken away by DFACs.
 
2021-04-20 1:40:23 PM  
i would murder that child, and be hailed as a hero
 
2021-04-20 1:41:11 PM  
Drugs.
 
2021-04-20 1:41:19 PM  
Oh man.....I would have needed a very strong hit of weed after that flight.
 
2021-04-20 1:44:15 PM  
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-20 1:47:20 PM  

raerae1980: Oh man.....I would have needed a very strong hit of weed after that flight.


And before. Too bad you can't bring edibles with you.
 
2021-04-20 1:54:15 PM  

dionysusaur: raerae1980: Oh man.....I would have needed a very strong hit of weed after that flight.

And before. Too bad you can't bring edibles with you.


You can if they're already in your stomach.

/Also, TSA doesn't really care.  I have friends fly out of LAX with weed all the time.
//And coke.  I mean it is LA...
 
2021-04-20 1:55:48 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Ouch, these earplugs make my liver hurt...
 
2021-04-20 1:56:42 PM  

ShavedOrangutan: dionysusaur: raerae1980: Oh man.....I would have needed a very strong hit of weed after that flight.

And before. Too bad you can't bring edibles with you.

You can if they're already in your stomach.

/Also, TSA doesn't really care.  I have friends fly out of LAX with weed all the time.
//And coke.  I mean it is LA...


Vegas used to have bins in the airport to dump legal weed.
Haven't flown in bout 18 months, so not sure if they still have them.
 
2021-04-20 2:00:10 PM  

freddyV: ShavedOrangutan: dionysusaur: raerae1980: Oh man.....I would have needed a very strong hit of weed after that flight.

And before. Too bad you can't bring edibles with you.

You can if they're already in your stomach.

/Also, TSA doesn't really care.  I have friends fly out of LAX with weed all the time.
//And coke.  I mean it is LA...

Vegas used to have bins in the airport to dump legal weed.
Haven't flown in bout 18 months, so not sure if they still have them.


They have one I've seen in O'Hare too - but the bin is past the TSA checkpoint.
 
2021-04-20 2:03:12 PM  

freddyV: Vegas used to have bins in the airport to dump legal weed.


Who gets to empty those bins?
 
2021-04-20 2:04:54 PM  

shastacola: freddyV: Vegas used to have bins in the airport to dump legal weed.

Who gets to empty those bins?


The Employee of the Month.
 
2021-04-20 2:13:49 PM  
I think I might lock myself in the bathroom and flush myself into the atmosphere.
 
2021-04-20 2:15:46 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: I.M.APseudonym: This is the reason I don't fly without noise cancelling headphones.

I need to invest in a good pair.  I always forget how noisy a *quiet* flight is.


https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07​W​4ML7LC/ Keep an eye on slickdeals, I got this pair for ~$60 a bit ago, and they are great so far.
 
2021-04-20 2:23:43 PM  

freddyV: ShavedOrangutan: dionysusaur: raerae1980: Oh man.....I would have needed a very strong hit of weed after that flight.

And before. Too bad you can't bring edibles with you.

You can if they're already in your stomach.

/Also, TSA doesn't really care.  I have friends fly out of LAX with weed all the time.
//And coke.  I mean it is LA...

Vegas used to have bins in the airport to dump legal weed.
Haven't flown in bout 18 months, so not sure if they still have them.


Back in the day, someone I knew worked at JFK. He mostly emptied the trash. He was lucky enough to be assigned to the part of the airport nearest to Customs. He used to pull so damn much drugs out of that trash can from people who chickened out at the last minute.
 
2021-04-20 2:39:47 PM  
One time I was upgraded to first class for x reasons and of course i took it... turn out i was sitting next to a mother and her like 1 year old who cried the entire flight.

Needless to say when i left the plane i was drunk af
 
2021-04-20 2:45:23 PM  
This happened to me on a flight from Atlanta to Costa Rica. The child behind me screamed like this non-stop once we rolled down the runway. In an hour after non-stop kicking on the back of my seat, the little brat crawled under my seat and started to come out beneath my legs. I had enough and turned around and told both parents, who were wearing headsets, to get their little f&%$ed up brat and to start behaving like parents. The grandmother of the brat jumped up from across the aisle and started mouthing off and I told her next time she wants to go to Costa Rica she needed to drive her f*&^%cked up progeny instead of flying. It stopped the brat and he was quiet for the remainder of the flight. And thank you flight attendants for doing absolutely nothing to quell this problem.
 
2021-04-20 3:12:56 PM  

flamark: This happened to me on a flight from Atlanta to Costa Rica. The child behind me screamed like this non-stop once we rolled down the runway. In an hour after non-stop kicking on the back of my seat, the little brat crawled under my seat and started to come out beneath my legs. I had enough and turned around and told both parents, who were wearing headsets, to get their little f&%$ed up brat and to start behaving like parents. The grandmother of the brat jumped up from across the aisle and started mouthing off and I told her next time she wants to go to Costa Rica she needed to drive her f*&^%cked up progeny instead of flying. It stopped the brat and he was quiet for the remainder of the flight. And thank you flight attendants for doing absolutely nothing to quell this problem.


And then the rest of the passengers applauded.
 
2021-04-20 3:14:23 PM  
"Let her child scream" is the kind of sentence only a dead-ender would compose.


/Dead-ender meaning someone who won't reproduce.
//Hey, if people with kids are "breeders"...
 
2021-04-20 3:14:57 PM  
If I was the parent, discipline the child appropriately.

If I was a stranger, sadly find a way to tolerate it or wear earphones.
 
2021-04-20 3:15:56 PM  
"His mother claims he has behavioral problems."

Well, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo shiat, lady. You're gonna want to do something about that, mkay?
 
2021-04-20 3:16:08 PM  
media0.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-20 3:17:33 PM  
Stuck on the plane already, given the scenario, so:

1. Drink, heavily.
2. Document, complain to airline, at very least get flight comped, maybe even an additional free set of tickets to use in the future.
 
2021-04-20 3:17:38 PM  
I don't know. Maybe deal with like an adult. Have a drink, pop on headphones. Maybe offer the kid my tablet.

You can be the greatest parent in the world but if a tyke decides to scream their head off there's precious little to be done sometimes.

Also, I don't take flights because 2/3rds of our kids are too young for me to do it without being too stressed to function. But not everyone gets to choose.
 
2021-04-20 3:20:21 PM  
What if you just started screaming back at the kid, face to face?  Match him syllable for syllable, decibel for decibel.
 
2021-04-20 3:26:03 PM  
Not be poor and take my own plane?
 
2021-04-20 3:29:13 PM  
Duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape.
 
2021-04-20 3:31:51 PM  
Is it really murder if you're over international waters?
 
2021-04-20 3:33:34 PM  
I believe this is what Wing Seats are for.
 
2021-04-20 3:42:04 PM  

Promo Sapien: What if you just started screaming back at the kid, face to face?  Match him syllable for syllable, decibel for decibel.


Children were much better behaved in the 'good old days'....
Which is partly because they knew if they misbehaved in public they'd get a spanking right then and there, and one else would shame the parent.
 
2021-04-20 3:44:13 PM  
We've done over a dozen cross-Pacific flights (and many more shorter ones) with the kids since they were toddlers, and they've been fine. Preparation is 80% of the battle and letting go of your "ideal parent" hangups is another 15%. Too many parents just show up without planning ahead, and underestimate how long their kids can sit still with nothing to do and/or overestimate how much the flight attendants are willing or able to cater to their needs.

A few ideas off the top of my head...
- Find an empty corner of the concourse and run the hell out of them for a while before boarding.
- A 13-hour flight is not the time to get on your screen-time high horse. If they want to watch seven hours of Peppa Pig, let them. They'll pass out in three hours anyway.
- It's also not the time to get on your "healthy food choices" high horse.
- The dollar store is your friend. A cheap assortment of toys will keep them busy for hours and neither one of you will care if any of them get lost or broken.
 
2021-04-20 3:48:06 PM  
Stuff the kid in the overhead bin then claim justifiable homicide.
 
2021-04-20 3:50:44 PM  
Walk up to her, get her attention and then fart directly in her face.
 
2021-04-20 3:52:13 PM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image image 400x271]

Ouch, these earplugs make my liver hurt...


Beat me to it!!!!!
 
2021-04-20 3:55:05 PM  
If the kid really does have behavioral problems there is little, if anything, that the parents can do to calm the kid down. The passengers deal with it for a flight. The parents deal with it every day. We got our daughter through the foster system and she had issues, especially as a toddler. When she was 4 she screamed for most of our flight from Chicago to Orlando. No amount of playing, comforting or cajoling worked. When we landed I stood at the front of the plane, waiting for our stroller to get unpacked, and apologized to everyone.

I know people with autistic kids who have to face this kind of situation.
 
2021-04-20 4:17:40 PM  
threaten the parent with bodily harm if they dont control their child ?
 
2021-04-20 4:18:38 PM  
th.bing.comView Full Size


You have a tremendous advantage if you're Lee Marvin.

/ I believe he's saying here, "Unless you want to be reunited with the late Johnny North, you will cooperate with anything and everything we ask of you." or something to that effect
 
2021-04-20 4:46:03 PM  
Ether.
 
2021-04-20 4:51:12 PM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image 400x271]

Ouch, these earplugs make my liver hurt...


Aw!  The fun-sized bottles.  Great for Halloween.
 
2021-04-20 4:54:35 PM  
Be an adult. Don't imagine that everything will always be pleasant.
 
2021-04-20 5:15:43 PM  
I put on my Wixard Hat and Robe...
 
Displayed 50 of 76 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.