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(Fark)   What's the worst life advice you have ever received?   (fark.com) divider line
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198 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 Apr 2021 at 2:50 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-04-19 12:15:50 AM  
"Put everything you have saved up in Betamax. You can't go wrong'"
 
2021-04-19 12:27:12 AM  
"you have very pink skin, you can easily do 20 minutes in the tanning bed, head on back"
 
2021-04-19 12:28:26 AM  
"You're young, spend time working here and you'll get some good experience."

Second worst, 'It's just indigestion'
 
2021-04-19 12:29:01 AM  
Timeshares are a great investment
 
2021-04-19 12:30:10 AM  
"Check out this neat website www.fark.com"
 
2021-04-19 12:31:59 AM  
Follow your heart.  Apparently, hearts have no brain cells.
 
2021-04-19 12:44:28 AM  
Have you considered having a kid to get more student aid? Advice from the world's worst guidance councilor
 
2021-04-19 12:46:31 AM  
Less advice and more of a lived example by my father.  My mother was deeply mentally ill but managed it outwardly.  This led me to be in a relationship with a similarly ill person thinking it would be ok.  I never knew how much my father suffered, and he never told me or warned me.  I now see so many of his actions in a new horrible light.
 
2021-04-19 12:57:44 AM  
Just be yourself.
 
2021-04-19 1:09:56 AM  
That I had an obligation to have kids because "all the stupid people are having kids and we need the smart ones to balance things out".

/Didn't produce any new kids... adopted a couple of wild and crazy little guys instead.
//They'll probably be the death of me, but there are a lot of worse ways to die.
///I just hope that it turns out to be a good decision on their behalf.
 
2021-04-19 1:14:25 AM  
"You should reconnect with your parents."
 
2021-04-19 1:30:40 AM  
"It never hurts to ask"
 
2021-04-19 2:10:59 AM  
"Just get the degree, at least you'll have it.... then you can pursue that other thing."
 
2021-04-19 2:16:25 AM  
Plastics
 
2021-04-19 2:19:29 AM  
My parents, and really the whole dying community where I grew up, pushed working yourself to the bone and not thinking.

"the Internet" became a thing around the time I became a teenager.

Now? The biggest employers I know of in the county are a casino, a golf course, and a.WalMart. The working middle class is dead, drunkards or biatchy retirees.
 
2021-04-19 2:27:31 AM  
I had a girlfriend living with me, she was a holy terror. My brother gave me the worst advice ever. He told me that he'd always regretted how nasty his breakup with his college girlfriend had been, and encouraged me to be as nice as possible in letting hellzilla go. I followed this advice, and she asked for a month before she moved out, and I agreed. It stretched to three months before she finally left. Easily three of the worst months of my life, when hellzilla was screaming every night, demanding to know why she wasn't good enough, and basically refusing to leave. When she left I changed the locks immediately. She told me she couldn't afford to take her furniture, and I agreed to buy it from her and gave her money. She took her furniture anyway. She told me she couldn't bear to leave without the dog we had adopted together, so I let her take him. I found out later she dropped him off at the pound down the street. (Lucky dog got adopted though.) She called me repeatedly telling me that I needed to call her little brother and talk to him because he was upset I'd dumped her. She kept calling me for years afterwards wanting to know if I'd finally realized that I should have stayed with her.

Next time I broke up with someone, I said "It's over. Get out."

That might sound cold, but it actually gives the dumpee an excuse to say "Wow, I'm glad I'm not with that person anymore." By being Mr. Nice Guy, I was making it seem like she was entirely the problem. I mean, she was, but I could have let her go thinking I was the jerk. It would have made no difference to me in the long run.
 
2021-04-19 2:32:02 AM  
Pretty much the entirety of Catholic upbringing. I'm not saying to be a feckless amoral bastard, but by true to yourself, not to what some jackhole claims God wants you to be.
 
2021-04-19 2:35:08 AM  
"Get a man."
 
2021-04-19 2:41:21 AM  

leviosaurus: I had a girlfriend living with me, she was a holy terror. My brother gave me the worst advice ever. He told me that he'd always regretted how nasty his breakup with his college girlfriend had been, and encouraged me to be as nice as possible in letting hellzilla go. I followed this advice, and she asked for a month before she moved out, and I agreed. It stretched to three months before she finally left. Easily three of the worst months of my life, when hellzilla was screaming every night, demanding to know why she wasn't good enough, and basically refusing to leave. When she left I changed the locks immediately. She told me she couldn't afford to take her furniture, and I agreed to buy it from her and gave her money. She took her furniture anyway. She told me she couldn't bear to leave without the dog we had adopted together, so I let her take him. I found out later she dropped him off at the pound down the street. (Lucky dog got adopted though.) She called me repeatedly telling me that I needed to call her little brother and talk to him because he was upset I'd dumped her. She kept calling me for years afterwards wanting to know if I'd finally realized that I should have stayed with her.

Next time I broke up with someone, I said "It's over. Get out."

That might sound cold, but it actually gives the dumpee an excuse to say "Wow, I'm glad I'm not with that person anymore." By being Mr. Nice Guy, I was making it seem like she was entirely the problem. I mean, she was, but I could have let her go thinking I was the jerk. It would have made no difference to me in the long run.


I've been a witness to a breakup involving a nutcase on one side of the relationship. It was pretty bad but didn't rise to your ex's level of insanity. Jesus.
 
2021-04-19 2:51:19 AM  

west.la.lawyer: "Just get the degree, at least you'll have it.... then you can pursue that other thing."


This used to no kidding be critically important, but things have changed a lot since 1994. The worst employment advice nowadays comes from people who haven't had to look for a job in the last 20 years. I had to get a job for the first time since 2001 and Jesus wept it is COMPLETELY different nowadays.
 
2021-04-19 2:58:26 AM  
Join the church of Scientology.
 
2021-04-19 2:59:25 AM  
Go to NYU instead of CU

I got the name and sweatshirt and the radio program was fun and I whipped that biatch out over summer semesters when you could live there like a song, taking private violin lessons to pad my transcript.  I lived on egg and cheese on a Kaiser and yogurt and berries.
 
2021-04-19 3:41:33 AM  
Remember all the time you wasted on useless crap in school that you knew was never going to see the light of day outside your classroom but the teacher insisted that "you will need to know this in the future"
 
2021-04-19 3:55:40 AM  
"Just be yourself and people will like you."

/ It's admittedly not advice that I've ever followed, just whined about - I've more-or-less always known that I'm an outsider and that I'd need to put in effort to be liked tolerated
// But it's less of a punch to the gut than the version I'd be told be my family in more recent years: "Maybe people would like you if you were less of a c#nt."
/// Thanks, mum, I love you, too
 
2021-04-19 4:38:54 AM  
"Trust your cousin in a handshake loan, he's a hardworking honest guy and will always be loyal to you."

Thanks dad.
 
2021-04-19 4:58:05 AM  
In my early twenties, I realized that my boss was screwing me over because I was an idiot during salary negotiations. What did he say?

"Here's how it works. When you're young, you work for cheap and gain experience. Then, when you're older, you'll be rich and will then pay young people to work for little."

Decades later, I'm still waiting for the rich part.
 
2021-04-19 5:09:10 AM  
Put all my guilders in tulip bulbs back in early '37.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-19 5:33:54 AM  
The thing I heard over and over as a kid which is the biggest load of crap was "Sticks and stones can break my bones but names(or words) will never hurt me." That is total horsesh*t. The same parts of your brain that deal with physical pain get activated by emotional pain. It's also putting the burden on the person who is the target of the name-calling, telling them that if they get hurt it's their fault. Nobody is in therapy as an adult because they fell down and skinned their knee as a kid.
 
2021-04-19 5:46:55 AM  

ReluctantLondon: // But it's less of a punch to the gut than the version I'd be told be my family in more recent years: "Maybe people would like you if you were less of a c#nt."
/// Thanks, mum, I love you, too


Fleabag's username detected.
 
2021-04-19 5:54:51 AM  
Matt Gaetz says his worst life advice was, "use Venmo for minor purchases.  Jeffrey Epstein told me this.  Whatever happened to him?"
 
2021-04-19 6:03:13 AM  
"You like math and science. Get an engineering degree." While I *like* math and science, I *suck* at actually doing advanced math. My undergrad is in business administration.
 
2021-04-19 6:11:16 AM  

MissFeasance: Go to NYU instead of CU

I got the name and sweatshirt and the radio program was fun and I whipped that biatch out over summer semesters when you could live there like a song, taking private violin lessons to pad my transcript.  I lived on egg and cheese on a Kaiser and yogurt and berries.


"theteacher, you'll get in to Sarah Lawrence but we cannot afford to send you there. Apply to the state university."

I would have gotten mad scholarships at SLU...I got a full ride to the state u.
 
2021-04-19 6:22:54 AM  
Don't go to Stanford, go to Univ XYZ. Biggest mistake of my life.
 
2021-04-19 6:25:14 AM  
Don't pay off your student loans right now. It'll be bad for your credit.
 
2021-04-19 6:32:02 AM  
My high school guidance counselor in 1989: "Don't major in computer programming, by 2000 computers will be programming themselves."

/I mean, it _sounded_ possible, I guess
 
2021-04-19 6:43:11 AM  

Unobtanium: "You like math and science. Get an engineering degree." While I *like* math and science, I *suck* at actually doing advanced math. My undergrad is in business administration.


The best I ever heard is to find something that fits all three:

1. You like it
2. You're good at it
3. Someone will pay you to do it
 
2021-04-19 6:56:25 AM  
"You should go to law school" - anonymous poli sci professor
 
2021-04-19 7:10:53 AM  
It's never too late.

It gets better.

Don't buy a gun.
 
2021-04-19 7:28:22 AM  
"If it feels like more than two fingers, it's probably a dick."
 
2021-04-19 7:29:13 AM  
1st: "Get training in electronic repair, that will always be in demand"

2nd: "You have a tumor in your liver, and we have to remove 80% of it or you'll die."  I guess that is more of a diagnosis than advice, but since it was wrong I thought I'd include it.
 
2021-04-19 7:30:20 AM  

LordBeavis: "If it feels like more than two fingers, it's probably a dick."


Every male Farker in this thread is looking at their fingers.
 
2021-04-19 7:36:07 AM  
"Take any gig you can get, because it will mean more gig opportunities."

The absolute worst advice a budding musician can get, unless the opportunities you're looking for are more $50 gigs. Value yourself, or others won't.
 
2021-04-19 7:36:32 AM  

LordBeavis: "If it feels like more than two fingers, it's probably a dick."


I dunno, seems like pretty good, solid advice ... curious to know how this is bad advice...
 
2021-04-19 7:40:52 AM  
Jesus saves
 
2021-04-19 7:40:55 AM  

KingOfTown: "Take any gig you can get, because it will mean more gig opportunities."

The absolute worst advice a budding musician can get, unless the opportunities you're looking for are more $50 gigs. Value yourself, or others won't.


Exactly. Never perform for free or negotiate on price (but start small and work your way up).

If you work for free or haggle down prices any more than a little, you're hurting your brand and future asking prices.
 
2021-04-19 7:43:13 AM  
Trust in Jesus
 
2021-04-19 7:57:36 AM  

vygramul: west.la.lawyer: "Just get the degree, at least you'll have it.... then you can pursue that other thing."

This used to no kidding be critically important, but things have changed a lot since 1994. The worst employment advice nowadays comes from people who haven't had to look for a job in the last 20 years. I had to get a job for the first time since 2001 and Jesus wept it is COMPLETELY different nowadays.


It wasn't great advice in 1994 (or even 1984) either.

"Enlist?! You're going to waste your life! Go to college now!"

No, at 18, going to college would have been a huge mistake and a waste of tens of thousands of dollar.  Enlisting in the Coast Guard, however, has worked out very well for me in the long run.
 
2021-04-19 8:03:49 AM  
"You should check out Fark."
 
2021-04-19 8:06:04 AM  
After the First Fark Redesign : "you'll get over it"

*sob*
 
2021-04-19 8:15:20 AM  
It's just money, but it!
 
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